Part 2A
Here's the first half guys! Took me a long time and was very emotional for me, so I hope you like it too. đł It deviates completely from the show and while there might be a few startling differences, I promise it will all tie up at the end đ
The second part will be out tomorrow morning!
Happy Reading!
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It has been a few months since that fateful encounter in the mall. Isra's moving to better opportunities in life, finally trying to heal herself. But there seems to be a different plan for her.
After all "bas mein na ho jo kar jaana ishq hai, jaake udhar se laut aana ishq hai" â¤ď¸
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Disclaimer: Given that I am not Muslim, I am not very clear with the rules of Khula and divorces. I did read whatever material I could find, and did the best I could. I hope it does not hurt anyone's sentiments here. In fact, if there is anything wrong, please let me know so that I can change it.
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The University of British Columbia, Vancouver. Probably the best choice I had ever made in my life. The initial change and culture shock had settled and life could not have been better. Honestly, having been here just a month, I could not believe how different the world was. Here nobody cared if I was a divorcee. Nobody wanted to know why and what went wrong. Nobody had called me a materialistic opportunist. In fact, it was the opposite.
All my friends seemed to support me and called me a strong individual for having made such a decision in my life. They had all been very warm and welcoming. And slowly I had managed to realise there was so much more to life than deciding when and where to marry, how to behave like a lady, whether or not it was time to have children.
I had finally begun living and enjoying the Gift of Life. But how did I get here? Excellent question.
The day before I moved here, I had made sure everyone from my old life was blocked on all Social Media. And that included my ex-husband, Shahzaib. Yes, he did sign the Khula papers without any arguments. I had made sure to return the property papers he had written off to me, the blank cheque and every item he had gifted me after marriage. That had to be the toughest thing I had ever done.
I can never forget the pain on Shahzaibâs face when I had gone to his house one last time to return those items. Given how insulted I had felt, I did not get inside the property. In fact, I waited for him to step out of the gates so that I could hand him everything.
He was crying, literally, but not saying a word. His dark circles had gotten more prominent since the time I met him at the mall. His hair was all over the place, he had stopped taking care of himself. Razaa, who had accompanied Shahzaib, pleaded to the both of us to not go through with this. But I was adamant and nothing could change my mind. Better to be single and let the pain go away gradually than to be in immense pain imagining that your husband and the love of your life will be giving his name to another female who will now touch him every night.
Our conversation in the elevator never left my mind, even when I boarded the plane to Vancouver. And neither did his appearance at his own house gate. But I was making sure to put all of it behind me, after all, this was a new chapter in my life. There was no need for any past negativity.
My Studio apartment was very cozy and perfect. The sitting area, kitchen, bedroom, en-suite were so well made and the price was such a steal. I still remember the huge smile that spread on my face when I had seen the place in person for the first time. And when the accommodation manager left, I had jumped on the bed, squealing in excitement.
It took me some time but I completely settled in. Hammad Bhai and Mumma would call once a week. Naina Bhabhi had also started warming upto me given that I would lecture Bhai that he was not being a good husband. Gradually the scattered family had now glued itself together. We were stronger than ever.
ExceptâŚI did think of Shahzaib often. There were nights when I would wake up, breathing heavily. Because of some crazy dream I had had in regards to him. Mostly it would be flashbacks of the last time we had met, or the elevator ride. On other days, it were memories of the good times we had sharedâ our dates, sneaking around, him running into the bedroom just to kiss me goodbye, me making eyes at him on the breakfast table which in turn got him late for office. And then the rare days when the nightmares had Shahzaib kicking me out of his house, Haaris trying to touch me inappropriatelyâŚ
The nightmares did reduce considerably, thanks to my newly-made friends. The first night I had got them, I called my flatmate and first friend, Elise, to my room. She came running in with ice-cream, listening to me talk about everything, rubbing my back. Soon, there were a couple others who knew, my classmate and flatmate Harpreet, a Punjabi Canadian and a Wellbeing counsellor, Adam. He was also a student, studying a different course in the same school as me, so the four of us would hang out a lot.
Those wellbeing sessions helped me, made me a stronger person. Adam not only showed me where Shahzaib went wrong, but unbiasedly taught me how to handle the situation if another Haaris was around. I knew better now, I was smarter and soon enough, I was assisting Adam with other students who were going through similar experiences. Harpreet and Elise were my Monica and Phoebe, and I was so blessed to have them in my life. And yes, my academics had improved, impressing the professors and surprising me.
But of course all of this being said and done, it was not easy to forget Shahzaib. It had almost been half a year since that day at the mall and I still could not forget him. There were moments of such pain in the middle of the night when I would wake up covered in sweat and no amount of ice-cream and binge-watching FRIENDS could take that away. My pillowcases would be stained on certain nights and sometimes I got a feeling he was around me. And a part of me had accepted it now. My friends did try to set me up on dates but I knew I could not do it. Even though my ex was probably honeymooning in some exotic part of the world.
Before the pain from that thought could overpower me, I got a FaceTime call. It was Bhai. Breathing in one huge gust of air in order to calm myself down, I connected the call and smiled at the screen.
âIsra!â Mumma said. âHow are you beta?!â
âI am fine Mumma, look I am making Mutton Nihari!â I moved the camera to show them the simmering pot.
âSo cool, you sure you havenât just bought it from the store?â I heard Bhai voice.
âHa ha ha very funny. I know how to cook now!â
âHammad, why do you trouble her? Canât you see sheâs doing well?â I saw Naina Bhabhi pop into the frame, with her son fast asleep in her arms.
âThank you Bhabhi. Aww, Farhan is sleeping?â
âYes he slept about 5 minutes ago. I was telling Auntyji to dial quicker so that you could see him.â
I grinned, âIts okay, no problem. By the wayâŚhow did you guys decide to call today? I mean, we normally speak on Saturdays when I can sit and chat properly. Not when I am sweating in the kitchen.â
âActually Isra,â Hammad Bhai said nervously. âThereâs something we want to talk to you about. Its kind of urgent.â
I frowned, âNo marriage proposals okay, Iâve said no.â
âIts not that Isra,â Bhabhi said. âJustâŚlisten to us, okay?â
I waited for them while chopping some chillies. Finally Bhai said, âShahzaib called. And thereâs somethinââ
âNo,â I said too loudly, silencing everyone on that side. âNot another word.â
âIsra trust meââ
âI said no mumma. Does no one understand that?â I felt the pain rising. âNo one uses the S-Word around me, or gives me any information about it. I gotta go. Donât call me for a couple of days.â
I disconnected the call and continued cooking, while my throat was choking up. I thought I was strongerâŚthen what the actual f**k happened? His name, only his name did this to me? As my body shook and I switched off the stove, I heard a knock at the door.
âComing!â I yelled, wiping my eyes and splashing some water on my face. It was Charlotte on the door, another flatmate.
âIsra!â She exclaimed. âThereâs someone down to see you. The Security was trying your intercom.â
âYeah thatâs not been working, Iâve put in a complaint,â I replied. âWho is it?â
âI canât pronounce the name, but you should go down,â she said. âAll Iâve been told is to send you downstairs.â
Weird.
âThank you Charlotte,â I smiled at her. Picking up my keys, I locked my door and made my way downstairs. It was only until I spotted the all-too-familiar figure that I froze.
âIsra?â He looked at me, relief filling his face. âYouâre here!â
âShahzaib?â The name passing from my lips was giving me another pain rush. Quickly switching to my mother tongue I said, âWhat the hell are you doing here? I think it was perfectly clear that there is nothing between the two of us. Then why are you here?â
âI am here to talk,â he said feebly. âI know you probably hate me right now as you should but there are things you should know.â
No, I love you, you idiot.
âGo back Shahzaib.â
âListen Isra, Iâll be happy standing in the cold outside if you walk away. And Iâll stay there till you agree to talk.â
âAnd youâre back with your madness. Youâll freeze to death.â
âFor you. All of this for you. And Iâll prefer freezing than walking away from here without telling you everything.â
I contemplated my choices. Either I could take him upstairs and talk to him or let him stay outside while there would be some Security issuesâŚand major problems from him.
Sighing, knowing there was no way any of us could benefit with me being stubborn, I looked at the Security personnel who was waiting for my reply, âIts okay Ryan, heâs with me.â
Ryan signed him in and we both made our way upstairs quietly. A part of me was worried that he would fall sick and that is also why I agreed to let him come with me. Slowly opening my door, I entered, him following me. I turned up the heating to help his shaking form warm up.
âSit,â I instructed, passing him an electric blanket. âThis should help you.â
âYou still care so much?â He said, his eyes lovestruck.
I nearly whacked him, âShut up Shahzaib. Youâre in my house, I donât want you to fall ill here.â Turning on the kettle, I put a green tea bag in a mug, waiting for the water to heat. Shahzaibâs eyes were on me while I poured the water, looking at my every move. I gave him the mug silently, making a gesture that he should drink up.
While he did so, I went to the bathroom to change out of my outfit to a lighter pair of leggings and tee, tying my hair up in a bun. The extra heat was too much for me to take, but it was important for Shahzaib to warm up. Who knows what would happen if he were to fall sick on a foreign land even as the pandemic had not ended.
By the time I stepped out, he was done with his tea and had gotten out of his jacket. My eyes took in his weak form. He was still built, but looked lesser ripped than he actually did. The green polo neck he wore still fit him, the colour oh-so suited himâŚbut it was not as snug as before on the arms.
âHave you lost weight?â I asked him.
He looked taken aback at my question, âUhh yes. You seemed to have gained weight. It looks good on you.â
âMy doctor said I was underweight,â I shrugged.
âDoctor?â
âYup. I went for my monthly check up here. Iâd lost a lot of weight after theâŚdivorce,â I tried to sound as casual as I could.
Shahzaib looked pained, fidgeting with the hem of his polo shirt, âIsra I am sorââ
âDonât say your sorry Shahzaib. The time to be sorry was months ago,â I snapped at him. âJust cut to the chase and tell me why youâre here.â
He sighed, âFor you.â
âMe?â I scoffed. âWe are divorced remember? And you were betrothed to another. Or married by now. Whereâs the ring?â I asked sarcastically, looking at his finger, spotting none.
âNimra and I arenât married.â
What?
âHuh?â Was all I managed to say.
âYes,â he said, his eyes gentle as ever.
âWellâŚyou will be marrying later this year then, yes?â
He shook his head, âNo. Thereâs no marriage at all.â
Okay. That came as a shock.
I leaned against the wall trying to process the information. Shahzaib stood in front of me, playing with the edge of his green polo tee, waiting for me to say something.
âI donât get it.â That was the only way I managed to formulate my thoughts into words.
âThere was never going to be a marriage Isra,â Shahzaib said. âYou know what, just sit down and listen to me.â
I was too lost in my own muddle of thoughts that I did not protest when he tugged me by my arm and made me sit on the couch. Then seating himself next to me, he waited for my response. I only nodded in agreement.
âYou see, I had figured out that something was wrong. There were suddenly all these misunderstandings between us and I was receiving these WhatsApps from Haaris, with pictures of the two of you. Initially, I got angry and pained, but then Zareena told me that Nimra had attacked you.â
âShe did.â
âAnd thatâs when I began thinking that all these circumstances couldnât be random, there had to be a pattern. So I started to notice that wherever Sameera was with you, Haaris would pop up. Or in the past, whenever I mentioned to someone from my family where we were, that bas***d would turn up. The nail in the coffin was when I spotted you with him in the room.â
âThe day you kicked me out.â My voice was laced with venom.
âNo baby, I never wanted to do that. Remember I had gone to Islamabad?â
I nodded.
âI was in touch with my police friend. I donât think you know that Haaris was behind the bars for a few hours because of me. But someone bailed him out. I had asked my friend to let me know who that person wasâŚand it turned out to be my mother.â
What the f**k?
âI donât believe you.â
âI have proof, here,â he rummaged through his bag to get out a file. âSee this. Hammad has seen this too, it was only after I told him about you that he gave me your address.â
âDammitâŚâ I muttered, looking at the file.
âOnce I figured it out, I realised to what lengths were people going to go to, in order to separate us. It scared me, that I might lose you forever one day. So I made a haste decision to âkick you outâ. I know it was a horrible choice but there was nothing else I couldâve done! In order to get my mother and my toxic cousins off your back, it was the only way! And then before I couldâve contemplated my next move, Nimraâs parents died in a plane crash. Of course she was devastated and I was sad to lose my relatives. But that was it. The minute my mother started to push the idea of Nimra and IâŚI knew thatâs the only way I couldâve ended this shit once and for all.â
âAnd what about me?â I snapped. âDid you ever think what your actions would do to me, Shahzaib?â
âIsra, nothing was on my mind other than you. But more than having you in my life at that time, it was important for you to be safe. So I agreed to the marriage and knew they were going to create even more coincidences. I played along and said some very venomous things that threw them off track. Believe me baby, I was hurting so much. Every word was like a thorn puncturing my heart.â
âThatâs no excuse.â
âI know and I am so sorry for everything,â Shahzaib was crying now, fat tears rolling down his puffed cheeks. âThat day at the mallâŚI wanted to tell you everything. But you werenât ready to listen.â
âDespite all this, you signed the papers?!â
âI didnât want to! But you were adamant and my mother found out, courtesy HaarisâŚso I had to let them believe I wanted nothing to do with you while keeping your life safe. And finallyâŚon the wedding dayâŚI ended it in front of a thousand people. Nimra was kicked out of my house, Razaa divorced Sameera and we brothers moved into the smaller house. My mother lives alone in our family home now, with no one other than the house helps.â
âShahzaibâŚall thatâŚI getâŚbutâŚyou left me.â
âI know.â
âNot only left me, but you said such shitty things about me, my character!â
âI know.â
âAll this time, it was a stupid plan of yours while I was thinking you hate me, that you have given up on us.â I stood up angrily, pacing around the room, Shahzaib following me.
âDid you really think I was that stupid?â Shahzaib grinned at me through his tears. âYou never saw through me, did you baby?â
'How was I to know?â I choked out. âYou signed the papers and ended it!â
âAnd now you know why,â he sniffled. âI couldn't let anyone harm you, so I had to let you go for sometime.â
âBut you gave me pain?â I smacked him across the chest. âDid. You. Really. Think. That. Was. Helping. ME?!â I emphasised on each word, unable to stop my hands from attacking him.
He took it silently while holding me from the waist. I was thankful for that, otherwise I would be on the floor in a second. Finally he took my wrists in his left hand, pulling me to his chest, tucking my head under his chin. The minute his scent hit me, I knew I was home. The same home that I tried running away from.
âBaby,â he whispered. âI know you're feeling the pain every moment. Believe me, I've been there, sleeping and waking up with constant chest pains. But I am not going anywhere now. Cuss me all you want, hit me all you want. I did what I had to keep you away from harm's way. But now, I'll be all yours, just as I had promised, if you'll have me.â
I sniffled at looked at his face, which seemed had aged ten years since I last saw him. His eyes were trying to convey everything to me, good and bad, they were screaming the truth, and it was all making sense to me now. I did not plan to forgive him so soon, but I wanted something he had that could prove that he was right here.
Without a second thought I went on my tiptoes, tugging at his head down, capturing his lips into a searing kiss. There was no resistance from him, it was as if he was waiting for me to make the first move. This kiss was unapologetic, even painful considering the amount of force we were using but this pain did not bother me.
Wanting to be closer to him, one of my legs ditched around his waist, while we devoured each other, trying to feel every crevice through our clothes. Every breathe that I took now felt like pure oxygen firing up my veins. Shahzaib was here, with me and only me. He never stopped loving me, he never doubted me. Only this thought made me press myself closer to him, finding even micro-distances to be miles.
Finally, he broke the kiss and pulled me on the couch with him, breathing heavily. I adjusted myself on his lap, knowing very well why he stopped.
âWowâŚâ he whispered in marvel.
âYeahâŚâ I breathed, resting my head on his shoulder.
âI had to stop, you know.â He tried to apologize.
I rolled my eyes, a slight smile on face, âIts okay. I could feel your reason against me.â
His cheeks turned red as he let out a throaty laughter, it was music to my ears. âAnd your dirty mindâs back.â
âIt was always there, you werenât around, thatâs all,â I said. He stroked my cheek, staring at me constantly. My cheeks turned red under his gaze. âYou look like shit,â I commented, looking at his face. He did actuallyâ deep dark circles that he could barely keep his eyes open, puffiness on his entire face, and I could feel some weight gain on his belly area, his green tee had a belly bulge underneath.
âI forgot how to take care of myself,â he said softly. âThe official separation broke me completely, Isra.â
âWhy did you not make me a part of the plan?â I asked him. âHad I known, donât you think either of us wouldnât have gone through so much shit?â
âDo you remember what you did to that girl, whom we had met at our mutual friendâs wedding? RabailâŚRuksanaâŚwhat was her name?â
âRabeeca,â I grinned, remembering how I had nearly attacked her, nearly exposing Shahzaib and my relationship. Just because she flirted with him a little bit. âShe was eyeing you.â
âWell in the worldâs eyes we were both singles. And if you could do that to some random girl, what would you do to Nimra, even if you knew I was yours?â
OkayâŚhe had a point. But I was not going to let him win.
âWhatever. I am hungry, you wanna eat?â I asked him. âIâve made Nihari Mutton.â
âYes, thank you,â he said, leaning in for another kiss. I let him, reciprocating equally because I knew he was thinking this was all a dream too.
âShahzaibâŚthis doesnât mean that Iâve forgiven you. What you did was really bad and Iâm gonna need some time.â
He smiled sadly, âTake all the time you want, Iâll be right here. Just let me be there for you please. Let me help you get out of this pain.â
âBut youâre gonna go home at some point right? Youâre on a visa.â
âActuallyâŚI wanted to wait butâŚI have a PR.â
âYouâŚWHAT?!â
âAfter Hammad told me where you were, I decided to pack up and move. There was nothing keeping me back in Pakistan anyway and I wasnât going to take away your ambitions from you. SoâŚhere I am. Iâve set up a different business here and have taken a house on rent too.â
âHow the heck did you manage all this?â
âUsed my contacts,â he grinned, gesturing me to get up. âLets eat dinner and then I have to get back to my hotelâŚI get the keys for the house tomorrow.â
âAnd how do you plan to get back?â I asked him, walking to the kitchen and serving the food.
âTaxi or something.â
âIts Sunday, Shahzaib. Plus the charges are gonna be high. You arenât going anywhere, sleep here tonight.â
His brows furrowed, âYou said you havenât forgiven me.â
âI know what I said,â I snapped. âBut youâre new here. BesidesâŚI want you here tomorrow morning in order to know youâre actually here.â
âBut what will peopleââ
âThis is Vancouver! No one cares!â
âWell if youâll have meâŚâ he smiled at me, raising his hands in surrender.
âNow eat.â
Nothing happened between us that night. We did spend an awful lot of time looking at each other though. All the pain in my chest was slowly dissipating. With every smile and grin of his, I could feel myself piece back together. Seeing Shahzaib doing basic domestic activities, like brushing his teeth, flossing and doing the dishes was unbelievable for me. A part of me was thrilled he was here, but another part of me could not digest the fact that he was here. I still felt he would disappear the next morning, throwing me into another fit of anxiety.
It calmed down when he sat next to me on my bed to watch FRIENDS, barely touching me though. And when he got up to leave, I grabbed his hand, stopping him.
After initial hesitation, he got under the sheets, wrapping his arms protectively around me. Just that one gesture, and I was pieced back together. The pain of separation was now a dull memory, even though I had not forgiven him completely. But I gave us tonight. Throwing my legs around his waist, I buried my face in his head, not caring anymore.
In your eyes, I'm alive
Inside, you're beautiful
Something so unusual
In your eyes
I know I'm homeâŚ
Edited by Ashley.Tisdale - 4 years ago