Ishwari and sanjana?? - Page 3

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

What you said makes absolute sense even from a psychological point of view.

Dev and ishwari are in a very deep emotionally incestous relationship. Emotional incest is when a parent relies on his/her kid (usually of the opposite gender) for emotional support that is expected from a partner. This is more often than not seen in single parents either widow/widowers or divorced people.

Dev here is a victim of his mother's psychological disorder. In cases like these often the child thinks that providing the parent emotional support is their responsibility when it absolutely isnt.

You arent very far away from the truth when you say that ishwari thinks that sona is the other woman in his life. Because she absolutely does and she needs to be taken to a doctor and then pushed into a healthy fulfilling relationship tk break this cycle.

Dev has been raised into giving into demands of his mother and act like a pseudo husband for her which is why he feels the constant need to choose between his mother and wife as if he is choosing between wife and mistress.

Yes I was hinting towards this only but I thought it will be too bold of a topic for people to digest so I chose to not explicitly name it.

It was clear from season 1 when ishwari overdosed just to get her son's attention and throw Sonakshi out.

She loves her grandkids because they are so-called Dev's ansh, specially Ayush. I mean it sounds so creepy man 🤢

She forced Ayush so much that the poor child left the house.

Everyone needs one person in their lives, who will keep them as their first priority. This usually happens with couples, the find solace in each other. Without a companion when Dev came along, Ishwari found her person.

She kept Dev above everyone else, even her own daughters and groomed Dev to do the same. It wasn't that Dev wanted to emotionally provide for her mother, he was groomed into it. If he didn't, he felt immense guilt, he thinks he owes it to her.

Ishwari harping about her hard times and how she raised Dev every now and then, is not just to discuss the challenges but to reinforce the idea in Dev's mind that he owes the emotional need to her. He does it even when he feels suffocated.

Sona came along and he could finally be himself, I don't think he laughed like that with anyone. Moreover, if he could choose, he liked Asha more than Ishwari but due to the feeling of indebtedness to her, he never admitted that.

He deep down knew, his mother would get insecure of every woman around her. I wish people like him received intense counselling because his mother ruined his childhood and is actively destroying his life now as well. The only best way to deal with this is cut contact with the said parent.

Originally posted by: Guneet80

Yes I was hinting towards this only but I thought it will be too bold of a topic for people to digest so I chose to not explicitly name it.

It was clear from season 1 when ishwari overdosed just to get her son's attention and throw Sonakshi out.

She loves her grandkids because they are so-called Dev's ansh, specially Ayush. I mean it sounds so creepy man 🤢

She forced Ayush so much that the poor child left the house.

Everyone needs one person in their lives, who will keep them as their first priority. This usually happens with couples, the find solace in each other. Without a companion when Dev came along, Ishwari found her person.

She kept Dev above everyone else, even her own daughters and groomed Dev to do the same. It wasn't that Dev wanted to emotionally provide for her mother, he was groomed into it. If he didn't, he felt immense guilt, he thinks he owes it to her.

Ishwari harping about her hard times and how she raised Dev every now and then, is not just to discuss the challenges but to reinforce the idea in Dev's mind that he owes the emotional need to her. He does it even when he feels suffocated.

Sona came along and he could finally be himself, I don't think he laughed like that with anyone. Moreover, if he could choose, he liked Asha more than Ishwari but due to the feeling of indebtedness to her, he never admitted that.

He deep down knew, his mother would get insecure of every woman around her. I wish people like him received intense counselling because his mother ruined his childhood and is actively destroying his life now as well. The only best way to deal with this is cut contact with the said parent.

Exactly!!!

I find it soo hard to believe that all of us even after being educated still find the need to treat these topics like a taboo

It annoys me to no end that most people do not understand that a child doesnt "choose" to be a mamma's boy or keep her on a pedestal throughout his life. Atleast not in love marriages and DEFINITELY not after 10 yrs of the marriage irrespective of whether it is love or arranged.

I do understand to a point why everyone seems soo frustrated with dev and his constant need to ask ishwari about everything and being tied to her apron in a way but i seriously feel nothing except sympathy for him.

His entire childhood has been ruined because his mother was unwilling to put her children's needs above her own.

You are bang on about the point that she keeps mentioning the past to manipulate him into feeling guilty.

There is a reason why dev is obsessed with sonakshi soo much. Because that is the only way for him to feel free for a few short moments. The entire family's burden has been shoved upon him. His over possessive, manipulative mother, her freeloader brother and sister in law and his sisters.

Sona gives him that much needed relief from being the sole caretaker of the family.

I hope the counsellor atleast touches upon the topic of ishwari. I dont have much hopes though. No idea why the counsellor even entertained ishwari and GKB. The least we can hope for is a 4th season where they take this as the main theme and actively work on cutting ishwari out of their lives for good

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

I hope the counsellor atleast touches upon the topic of ishwari. I dont have much hopes though. No idea why the counsellor even entertained ishwari and GKB. The least we can hope for is a 4th season where they take this as the main theme and actively work on cutting ishwari out of their lives for good

Tbh Dev will feel guilty about it but he'll be absolutely happy and relieved once ishwari dies. She's nothing but a burden on him. In fact, Sona will be relieved too. Devakshi relationship will improve and they would finally live a happy life.

I hope they show ishwari passing away at the end of season 4, I will forgive all the errors CVs made this season 🤣🤣

If krpkab had been on other channel and trp was above 2 they would have tried this Ishwari Sanjana track ..and regarding the Ishwari and Dev bond I think ITV is still stuck in Maa mahaan hoti hai mode and will be stuck there for another 100 years ..because its not just taboo to think like that but maha paap ..imagine the backlash the channel actors and makers will face for this.

Agreed!!!

I genuinely always feel like the writers are hinting towards something in the right direction when they keep pointing out Ishwari's behaviour and insecurities. They're not even justifying it, like it's clearly wrong- even if it's coming from somewhere. But somehow I feel like ITV is not allowing them to tell the story they want to tell. That's why there's this half-assed attempt where they bring it up, but quickly abandon/wrap it up without showing maa as being objectively wrong.

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

Exactly!!!

I find it soo hard to believe that all of us even after being educated still find the need to treat these topics like a taboo

It annoys me to no end that most people do not understand that a child doesnt "choose" to be a mamma's boy or keep her on a pedestal throughout his life. Atleast not in love marriages and DEFINITELY not after 10 yrs of the marriage irrespective of whether it is love or arranged.

I do understand to a point why everyone seems soo frustrated with dev and his constant need to ask ishwari about everything and being tied to her apron in a way but i seriously feel nothing except sympathy for him.

His entire childhood has been ruined because his mother was unwilling to put her children's needs above her own.

You are bang on about the point that she keeps mentioning the past to manipulate him into feeling guilty.

There is a reason why dev is obsessed with sonakshi soo much. Because that is the only way for him to feel free for a few short moments. The entire family's burden has been shoved upon him. His over possessive, manipulative mother, her freeloader brother and sister in law and his sisters.

Sona gives him that much needed relief from being the sole caretaker of the family.

I hope the counsellor atleast touches upon the topic of ishwari. I dont have much hopes though. No idea why the counsellor even entertained ishwari and GKB. The least we can hope for is a 4th season where they take this as the main theme and actively work on cutting ishwari out of their lives for good

To some extent I can agree. But what about dev's insensitiveness towards sona? N not prioritising her in his life. If he is obsessed with her, he shd hv been prioritised her in everything. I feel that is where it is contradicting.

Also, we spend most of our time out side home, either at institutions or at work place. Don't you think our perspective and personalities changes? As we grow, we learn lot of things. I feel, blaming only esh is not fair. It is dev's adopted personality which made him this way.

Originally posted by: them2d

Agreed!!!

I genuinely always feel like the writers are hinting towards something in the right direction when they keep pointing out Ishwari's behaviour and insecurities. They're not even justifying it, like it's clearly wrong- even if it's coming from somewhere. But somehow I feel like ITV is not allowing them to tell the story they want to tell. That's why there's this half-assed attempt where they bring it up, but quickly abandon/wrap it up without showing maa as being objectively wrong.

But they always show it as fictional rt. I don't know what is stopping them to show esh is wrong explicitly..

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

No no no this doesnt sound absurd at all!!

What you said makes absolute sense even from a psychological point of view.

Dev and ishwari are in a very deep emotionally incestous relationship. Please dont misunderstand it in the way of normal incest.

Emotional incest is when a parent relies on his/her kid (usually of the opposite gender) for emotional support that is expected from a partner. This is more often than not seen in single parents either widow/widowers or divorced people.

Dev here is a victim of his mother's psychological disorder. In cases like these often the child thinks that providing the parent emotional support is their responsibility when it absolutely isnt.

You arent very far away from the truth when you say that ishwari thinks that sona is the other woman in his life. Because she absolutely does and she needs to be taken to a doctor and then pushed into a healthy fulfilling relationship tk break this cycle.

Dev has been raised into giving into demands of his mother and act like a pseudo husband for her which is why he feels the constant need to choose between his mother and wife as if he is choosing between wife and mistress.

The only one at fault here looks like ishwari to me.

Emotional incest, also known as covert incest is a type of abuse on the child!!!!!

I would request all of you to read up about emotional incest to get a deeper insight into how a child is moulded that way and how hard it is to come out of this even as an adult.

I understand what are you talking about & I agree with your analysis to quite an extent. When I watched the show for the first time, even I thought this way only. Pre-leap story totally gave that vibe. But what they showed post leap & then this season.... I am not very sure the makers of this show are actually hinting at that. This is ITV we are talking about after all. Mother being the supreme being is a common concept here. KRPKAB just took it a few notches higher with the struggling background story.

They never really showed Ishwari as wrong or she is actively manipulating Dev into submission. They try to establish Ishwari as some self sacrificing righteous virtuous woman, who has just got a bit of conservative thought process. That is how Supriya Ma'am, the actress who portray Ishwari, justifies her character in every interview she gives. That is why Ishwari always gets away scotfree after whatever ruckus she made while Sonakshi "realises" that she was overreacting or being too demanding & says sorry for her misdemeanor.

All the reminiscing about Ishwari's past struggles, how much she sacrificed for her children etc etc are shown on loop just to establish her superiority & the ideal mother she is. We, as viewers, have gotten annoyed with that continuous self victimisation & have started to look for possible explanations of them, but that's not how the makers want to present it. All those scenes are put in only to establish the bond & understanding she has grown with her son over all the years of hardships. Not anything deeper or awkward.

If it was meant to be anything such, at least somewhere they would have mentioned it. Either while promoting the show, or through some characters' observation/dialogues in the show or any way. But they never have. All the characters praise her for being such an outstanding mother & bringing up her children so well, especially Dev. The character of Bijoy has been presented as one observant, intelligent man, but even he doesn't think much of Ishwari apart from the fact that she is selfish & snobby.

And at the end they just made it all about Ishwari not liking Sonakshi because she misunderstood her & that's why didn't want her in her son's life. As soon as Sonakshi rescued her from Khatri, Sonakshi became all goody goody in her eyes & she gladly accepted Sonakshi as her bahu & even started being a doting Mother to her (until season 3 happened). So.... there you go! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ishwari can't bear competitors

Originally posted by: Hari73

To some extent I can agree. But what about dev's insensitiveness towards sona? N not prioritising her in his life. If he is obsessed with her, he shd hv been prioritised her in everything. I feel that is where it is contradicting.

Also, we spend most of our time out side home, either at institutions or at work place. Don't you think our perspective and personalities changes? As we grow, we learn lot of things. I feel, blaming only esh is not fair. It is dev's adopted personality which made him this way.

Dev isnt insensitive towards sona exactly.

He doesnt even realise that sona finds it insensitive.

He just tries to deal with her like he deals with ishwari's tantrum.

He has been hard wired into being the pseudo spouse for his mother that he actually feels guilty of "cheating" her by being with sonakshi.

And i know that our work experiences play a huge role in developing our personalities.

But has ishwari ever given him the CHANCE to explore any of those possibilities?

Everytime he does something she doesnt approve of there will be her usual tantrums. Crying herself to the point she gets a fever or chugging an entire bottle of sleeping pills or something else and then what follows is another sob story of how she raised him and his sisters in such difficulties and the indirect implication that he owes her something for having gone through the trouble of raising her own kids that SHE decided to have.

I have no idea how anyone thinks that their children owe them something for meeting the bare minimum requirements of taking care of a decision they themselves have made.

And it has been proven through researches that emotional incest of the kind that happens between dev and ishwari actually has the same effects on the child as incest does only not as intense.

We dont blame a child who has been abused constantly to be wary of others and not trusting na?

Dev is in a very similar position. His emotional needs were not met when he was a child. He had to step up to be the "man" of the house after his father passed away. He and ishwari had to raise his sisters together through a financial crunch like life partners. He wasnt allowed to emotionally develope like a normal kid.

He was FORCED to grow up too soon and supress his own emotional needs to take care of the emotional needs of his mother and his sisters.

And after years of that constant trauma and emotional abuse he has gotten used to it. He would have gotten out of this and would have lead a normal life if he was given therapy for this or his mother had been cut off from his life.

In western countries this issue is much more addressed than it is india. Even in india issues like these are common but have been normalised to the extent that we are fooled into thinking that this is just a minor inconvenience at best.