Ishwari and sanjana?? - Page 4

Originally posted by: NotAMuggle

I understand what are you talking about & I agree with your analysis to quite an extent. When I watched the show for the first time, even I thought this way only. Pre-leap story totally gave that vibe. But what they showed post leap & then this season.... I am not very sure the makers of this show are actually hinting at that. This is ITV we are talking about after all. Mother being the supreme being is a common concept here. KRPKAB just took it a few notches higher with the struggling background story.

They never really showed Ishwari as wrong or she is actively manipulating Dev into submission. They try to establish Ishwari as some self sacrificing righteous virtuous woman, who has just got a bit of conservative thought process. That is how Supriya Ma'am, the actress who portray Ishwari, justifies her character in every interview she gives. That is why Ishwari always gets away scotfree after whatever ruckus she made while Sonakshi "realises" that she was overreacting or being too demanding & says sorry for her misdemeanor.

All the reminiscing about Ishwari's past struggles, how much she sacrificed for her children etc etc are shown on loop just to establish her superiority & the ideal mother she is. We, as viewers, have gotten annoyed with that continuous self victimisation & have started to look for possible explanations of them, but that's not how the makers want to present it. All those scenes are put in only to establish the bond & understanding she has grown with her son over all the years of hardships. Not anything deeper or awkward.

If it was meant to be anything such, at least somewhere they would have mentioned it. Either while promoting the show, or through some characters' observation/dialogues in the show or any way. But they never have. All the characters praise her for being such an outstanding mother & bringing up her children so well, especially Dev. The character of Bijoy has been presented as one observant, intelligent man, but even he doesn't think much of Ishwari apart from the fact that she is selfish & snobby.

And at the end they just made it all about Ishwari not liking Sonakshi because she misunderstood her & that's why didn't want her in her son's life. As soon as Sonakshi rescued her from Khatri, Sonakshi became all goody goody in her eyes & she gladly accepted Sonakshi as her bahu & even started being a doting Mother to her (until season 3 happened). So.... there you go! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know its soooooooooo annoying that no one talks about what an absolute failure of a mother she is. She could not do justice as a mother to any of her kids at all. I feel dev has been more of a father to his sisters than ishwari has been a mother to them.

But i think the makers are actually very clear about the part where they know that ishwari's obsession is neither normal nor healthy.

I had the same doubts in the starting. But then i saw makers have ishwari attempt an almost suicide to get dev's attention. THAT was the point where i realised that the natural theme of the show was all about this. A mother's unhealthy obsession with her son and how it can disrupt his life with his wife. But then again the TRP audience. I am not sure if the TRP audience would appreciate indian mothers being shown in that kind of a bad light and a show implying that their molly coddling and obsessiveness with their son can emotionally damage him.

The dialogues about her being an excellent mother just look like token placating statements for the TRP audience 😂

I mean just in this season they showed how creepily she behaved with ayush and ignored soha the moment she found out about the baby swap.

Her comment about "dev's ansh" for ayush was soo creeepy it made me want to scream and hide somewhere till police can come and arrest this lady that is more than just a little screwed in the head.

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

Dev isnt insensitive towards sona exactly.

He doesnt even realise that sona finds it insensitive.

This is what is called insensitive rt. He don't realise his actions hurting her.

He just tries to deal with her like he deals with ishwari's tantrum.

He has been hard wired into being the pseudo spouse for his mother that he actually feels guilty of "cheating" her by being with sonakshi.

If he had felt that, he would hv left her long ago. For him mother is foremost important. In s1, he married her bcoz eshwari agreed to it. Otherwise he would never marry her.

And i know that our work experiences play a huge role in developing our personalities.

But has ishwari ever given him the CHANCE to explore any of those possibilities?

Eshwari not coming to office to stop him from improving. It's him not improving as he got everything without asking.

Everytime he does something she doesnt approve of there will be her usual tantrums. Crying herself to the point she gets a fever or chugging an entire bottle of sleeping pills or something else and then what follows is another sob story of how she raised him and his sisters in such difficulties and the indirect implication that he owes her something for having gone through the trouble of raising her own kids that SHE decided to have.

I have no idea how anyone thinks that their children owe them something for meeting the bare minimum requirements of taking care of a decision they themselves have made.

Definitely current children not like that. Even my generation too, never like this. Our parents never ever told compromise something bcoz they raised us. My children they don't even like some emotional speech. Immediately they say what's wrong with me..😆. My husband another peculiar, shouting once at children is ok for their mistakes , but does not like second time snobbing at children 😆

And it has been proven through researches that emotional incest of the kind that happens between dev and ishwari actually has the same effects on the child as incest does only not as intense.

Esh might hv control, but it is dev allowed her to do so.

We dont blame a child who has been abused constantly to be wary of others and not trusting na?

Dev is in a very similar position. His emotional needs were not met when he was a child. He had to step up to be the "man" of the house after his father passed away. He and ishwari had to raise his sisters together through a financial crunch like life partners. He wasnt allowed to emotionally develope like a normal kid.

But esh gave him better life. Dev had only responsibility of studying hard. He may not hv got other amenities like other school children. But in his house he was treated as Prince. His sisters were raised by neha n not him. Imagine if he had given job of nappy changing n feeding food, how much more he would hv cribbed. He never manned up. Now also grown up child. He always wants ppl to pamper him. If had got that maturity of man, sona would not be struggling now.

He was FORCED to grow up too soon and supress his own emotional needs to take care of the emotional needs of his mother and his sisters.

He never grown up according to me. He worked towards financial supporting but never supported his sister's emotionally. That's why the detach among brother n sisters. He never bonded with his sisters

And after years of that constant trauma and emotional abuse he has gotten used to it. He would have gotten out of this and would have lead a normal life if he was given therapy for this or his mother had been cut off from his life.

In western countries this issue is much more addressed than it is india. Even in india issues like these are common but have been normalised to the extent that we are fooled into thinking that this is just a minor inconvenience at best.

I am not saying there won't b problem from their mothers. But according to my pov, it is truly one's own adoption personalities. And how he sees his life. No one can brain wash unless you allowed them to do so.

Originally posted by: Inkfruit08

I know its soooooooooo annoying that no one talks about what an absolute failure of a mother she is. She could not do justice as a mother to any of her kids at all. I feel dev has been more of a father to his sisters than ishwari has been a mother to them.

But i think the makers are actually very clear about the part where they know that ishwari's obsession is neither normal nor healthy.

I had the same doubts in the starting. But then i saw makers have ishwari attempt an almost suicide to get dev's attention. THAT was the point where i realised that the natural theme of the show was all about this. A mother's unhealthy obsession with her son and how it can disrupt his life with his wife. But then again the TRP audience. I am not sure if the TRP audience would appreciate indian mothers being shown in that kind of a bad light and a show implying that their molly coddling and obsessiveness with their son can emotionally damage him.

The dialogues about her being an excellent mother just look like token placating statements for the TRP audience 😂

I mean just in this season they showed how creepily she behaved with ayush and ignored soha the moment she found out about the baby swap.

Her comment about "dev's ansh" for ayush was soo creeepy it made me want to scream and hide somewhere till police can come and arrest this lady that is more than just a little screwed in the head.

Ishwari did NOT attempt suicide to get Dev's attention though. That was Dev's own assumption. If you see those episodes carefully, Ishwari was just trying to get some sleep but her anxiety was not letting her. So she unknowingly overdosed. She did not purposefully think like let me overdose on sleeping pills & then I can blackmail Dev to dump Sonakshi. NO. She was disturbed that she was finding it difficult to be happy with Devakshi's relation & she even felt guilty for it. She wanted to fall asleep before Dev comes home so that she didn't have to pretend of being happy in front of him & could avoid lying to him. That's why she resorted to sleeping pills. And since she was taking them for long time, her body had adjusted to its regular dose & that wasn't enough anymore. Ishwari is not educated & she didn't know that overdosing is bad. She thought if she took more pills, she would be able to fall asleep. What happened then, was an unfortunate accident. An accident that disturbed Dev & he took a rash decision under its influence, but it was an accident nonetheless. Ishwari didn't deliberately stage it to manipulate Dev. That's how viewers or Devakshi fans like to see it because they want to shift the blame of Dev ditching Sonakshi on Ishwari. But that particular incident was an unfortunate turn of events. And since Dev dumped Sonakshi so readily & pretended to be happy in front of her after that, Ishwari assumed that Sonakshi was an insignificant aberration & Dev doesn't really need her.

After she realised Sonakshi was important to Dev, she herself went to Sonakshi & begged her to marry Dev. And then she made it an issue of Mother being superior than Wife & she took it to her ego that how can Sonakshi, the outsider, the "kaal ki ayi ladhki", try to have her say in every matter....but she didn't really want to separate Devakshi or Dev to be alone again. That was Radharani & Vicky's doing.

Even when Sonakshi left after that 5 crore fiasco, Ishwari was not glad that she got rid of Sonakshi. She was stunned that Sonakshi left. "Chali gayi Dev ko chodhke! Ekbar mudhke bhi nahi dekhi!" was her precise reaction. And she genuinely believed that Sonakshi didn't take her marriage vows seriously & she was not a capable wife to her son. After 7 years, when she met Sonakshi, she accused her of playing with Dev's emotions & destroying his life because she genuinely believed that.

In my opinion, Ishwari is egoistic & obnoxious and always wanted to prove that she had the ultimate say in everything concerning Dev. But that did not stem from her desire to have Dev as her emotional partner or anything like that. She just wanted to brag about the "Godly position" she had in his life and always wanted to put down Sonakshi because she wanted to prove that mother is superior & deserves to enjoy more privileges than wife. There are mothers who see their sons as their partners & then there are mothers who want their children to consider mother as superior to all because they think they did a huge favour to their children by being a mother to them. There is slight difference between the two & I think KRPKAB makers were careful to maintain that difference & keep Ishwari in the latter category.

P.S. - My opinion is strictly based on how things played out in season 1. I don't consider season 3 as canon coz the original writers aren't onboard & without them it's a royal mess. Ishwari's character has no continuity or any substantial base for that matter. She goes back & forth on her approach like a pendulum all the time🤦🏻 And so do Radharani & Dev this time.🙄 I believe there's nothing in season 3 that can be analysed or discussed seriously.