Question about season 1? - Page 3

Originally posted by: tamanna2391

Exactly this ! Dev's actions are always justified , using ishwari as a shield but the real destruction is always caused by his callousness about her feelings and his ego. And that hasn't changed even now . The counselling scene just made me wanna puke . Her walking out on him hurt his ego. He's absolutely clueless on how alienated and helpless she felt at that point . As long as he has his favourite toy with him to cuddle , drive away and use as a punching bag at his convenience , his world is hunky Dory .

Yeah! That's the most ridiculous part of it! He always cries on about how Sonakshi leaving him have hurt him, when it was he himself who threw her out! BOTH the time. What, as per him, should Sonakshi have done? Stay put even after she was pointedly told to leave & maybe beg him for a place in his life? Honestly, seeing how he behaved post leap with her, it seems like that's what he wanted. For her to beg him, for her to be obedient of him, for her to be his toy to control. And he flips out everytime he loses his control over her. And what makes me mad is that after every incident, he somehow manages to make it all about how much he suffered, how much of a victim he is etc etc....all because Sonakshi didn't understand him. It was cute when he was in his twenties & had the excuse that he didn't know how to handle the situation. But it's nauseating now since he is in his 40's now & still using the same pathetic excuse instead of even bothering to understand Sonakshi. For him Sonakshi is supposed to be a non opinionated silent doll maybe...a doll whom he can control.... everytime she speaks her mind he goes off how dare she!

Entire Dixit clan is expert at victimising themselves. What's new? Sonakshi faced similar circumstances to Ishwari . Pregnant with no husband and the entire family's responsibility on her while they were homeless . But look at how she brought up Soha and not once has she victimised herself unlike Ishwari and Co.

And as for Dev, 40 or 80 he's always gonna be a fourth child to Sonakshi and never her husband . Someone who needs constant mothering and assurances . This kind of toxic emotional dependency that he has on Sona , can be never be healthy for any relationship .

Originally posted by: Newbiewriter30

This is a huge complaint I have. Dev should have apologized for those horrible things that he said to her that night in the farmhouse. He should have apologized specifically for his piercing words, apart from the general apology.

How the makers conveniently forgot is just too much!

I maybe wrong, but I think they didn't really want to make him apologize. From makers point of view he was the victim and both Ishwari & Sonakshi had got to say sorry to him. I can't wrap my head around their reunion episode. Sonakshi had to chase him, find him & bring him back after apologizing for not being with him for the past 7 years? However things had conspired 7 years ago, at the end they made it all about Sonakshi misunderstanding Dev & Dev being offended about it while it was not so. Sonakshi did not misunderstand anything. She was pointedly told to leave, because loving her marrying her was apparently the biggest mistake of Dev. She kept asking if he was sure, she kept saying that she was going & she was replied with an angry "Just Go!" But somehow going away turned into her fault. Dev verbally abused her... Said she was a horrible wife, a horrible bahu who did puja path wala nautanki & thank God she cannot be a mother because she would have been a horrible mother as well.... After the way Dev so brutally kicked her when she was at her lowest.... somehow it all became her fault & Dev became the "misunderstood" one. 🥱

Even after the reunion, with that bus incident track they went on with the same crap again & Dev needed "proofs" that Sonakshi loved him. Since Sonakshi didn't ditch her pregnant Sister in law in her medical check up & run after Dev just because he turned off his phone sitting in the comfort of his house, he again accused her of not loving him enough. 🤪 And even that track was wrapped up as a "misunderstanding" & a case of "different mindsets" and NOT showing Dev was being insensitive & unreasonable.

Dev is like this saint....who even if murders someone tomorrow, we are supposed to blame the victim for getting murdered by Dev 🤦🏻 In season 3 it has gotten even more ridiculous😆

Originally posted by: tamanna2391

Entire Dixit clan is expert at victimising themselves. What's new? Sonakshi faced similar circumstances to Ishwari . Pregnant with no husband and the entire family's responsibility on her while they were homeless . But look at how she brought up Soha and not once has she victimised herself unlike Ishwari and Co.

And as for Dev, 40 or 80 he's always gonna be a fourth child to Sonakshi and never her husband . Someone who needs constant mothering and assurances . This kind of toxic emotional dependency that he has on Sona , can be never be healthy for any relationship .

Yeah. Their relation was never healthy. It was toxic from day 1. I still remember when they were dating & Dev was not willing to disclose their relation to his Mom.... Sonakshi was upset & started doubting whether he was hesitating because she was not good enough. Bijoy scolded her for doubting her own worth & said if her relation with Dev was teaching her to doubt herself, then Dev is not the right guy for her.

And now we know how rightly Bijoy predicted the fate of this toxic relation! Being married to Dev, Sonakshi got some severe mental traumas that taught her to doubt herself, blame herself & totally stripped her of her self confidence & self respect. Because the other person in the relation just stubbornly refuses to grow up & behave like a responsible adult and forever keeps victimising himself to pass off the blames of his failures.

Originally posted by: NotAMuggle

If it was limited to that only, then it would still have been okay. But.... remember this episode?

https://youtu.be/oQjD2af_rx0

He accused her of being a cunning calculative gold digger who uses her beauty to trap men🤢 The whole dialogue about how beautiful her eyes are & how she knows how to capture men in their depth was sick to say the least 🤢 It might sound poetic, but he actually implied, no not implied, he pointedly told her that she captures men for her pleasure & plays with them. Like she played with him 7 years back. And if things don't work out with Yatin, she probably had someone else on standby as well. He not so subtly, called her a gold digger w****. He had accused her of the same thing on that fateful night they separated as well.

For the first time even I thought that maybe he was hurt & he was scared that she was moving on....but now that I look back & my rose tinted glasses are gone, I recognise it for what it was. Toxic masculinity trying to shame an independent woman whom he could not control anymore. It was an urge to hurt her born out of his frustration. He knew his words will hurt her & he still calculatively chose those words because he wanted to see her break, see her crumble, see her self confidence gone. He was satisfied to see tears brimming in her eyes & he rubbed it in with that "kya hua? Rona aa raha hai?" 🤢 That's how it had been before too (during the Ritvik phase). Whenever he couldn't control her, he tried to break her. I don't know how anyone convince themselves that it was love....but I feel, it was toxic relationship that involved power games & Dev went super destructive everytime he lost the power.

I didn't even understand how Sonakshi forgave him after all he said to her that night within the span of a day just because he was sulking away in some farmhouse. She even convinced him that he was not at fault & it was her who disappointed him. I mean how? 🤓 And later on she just came running back to him with a ton of sorries even though he NEVER apologized for the horrendous things he said to her. Forget apologizing, he never even bothered to admit he was wrong about her. She literally had no problem with whatever he thought of her. After that episode I don't understand or like Sonakshi all that much either. To me she seems to be an idiotic woman who doesn't know her worth & has completely discarded her sense of self-respect.

As you mentioned, now after all these years when you look at these episodes you realize how toxic their relationship was and how naive we were to fall for all this and sympathize with their situation. Dev was nothing but a typical ITV MCP and sonakshi was a doormat who kept falling for him at the cost of her self respect.

Originally posted by: Newbiewriter30

Bold 1:

I know, it's just so funny! One girl took so much offense that I said he was sleeping around. She kept saying he was just chatting with women and no harm in chatting!😂 Also, I was also told that I don't understand Dev Dixit!🙄 I didn't argue any more, because obviously she must be very young, and I don't want to shatter her rosy illusions😂😂

Bold 2:

They were not divorced. They were just separated. They never met after the farmhouse, not even to get an actual divorce. Ishwari confirms that they never divorced when she goes to ask the Boses to send Sona back home. Sona, after reconciliation, just comes back and they never bother with a remarriage drama, because they never were divorced. Also, just calling each other ex doesn't make them exes😂🙄

Prenuptial agreement was not divorce. That prenuptial agreement shown in the serial has no validity. Prenups are only valid if both the guy and the girl sign it and have it notarized and registered BEFORE MARRIAGE. So what Ishwari was holding on to, with only Dev's signatures were just pieces of paper, which can't hold up in a court of law at all. After marriage, they can't sign a PRENUPTIAL agreement. However, after marriage, modifications to that agreement can be done. Again, both have to sign and have it notarized and registered for it to have any validity.

Sona signed those prenup papers in anger, just to prove a point. It was just to show him, if he could do that, she could as well. That is it.

bold 1 - I remember those days. the fandom went crazy if someone so much as pointed a finger at dev’s character back then. People wrote essays justifying dev’s behavior and his pain back then. The amount of bashing and blaming that went for sonakshi because she chose to leave him was another level.

bold 2 - I wasn’t a regular viewer of the show back then, just caught up with random episodes because I couldn’t connect with the show totally. I was just popping in and out, so I might have missed the episode you mentioned about ishwari-bijoy conversation. I always assumed they were divorced, that’s why sonakshi was okay with dev’s past 7 years. Now that you mention how was she okay with going back to him? how’s any girl okay with that? Imagine if sonakshi had so much as thought about even considering 2nd marriage?How much character assassination there would have been? A fl having an affair or another love interest who isn’t ml is an anathema or sin in ITV even if she is young and single, so I won’t even try that point.

The hypocrisy of ITV and it’s audience is what makes me stay away from watching TV for the most part. Hero can be a scum of the worst order, he can have an ex-gf as a permanent fixture hanging off his arm or even sleep around, all justified because he had a troubled past. The heroine though should be pristine and I don’t see the trend ever changing.

Originally posted by: Sanleema

As you mentioned, now after all these years when you look at these episodes you realize how toxic their relationship was and how naive we were to fall for all this and sympathize with their situation. Dev was nothing but a typical ITV MCP and sonakshi was a doormat who kept falling for him at the cost of her self respect.

I don't have very much experience with ITV shows....but I happened to watch 2 more before KRPKAB. What I noticed in them is, even though the female leads were doormats or too forgiving, the male leads were at least shown realising that he was at fault, that he has hurt her & he needed to apologise to her. KRPKAB makers didn't make Dev do any such thing though. That's what makes Dev even worse than other ITV shows heroes (at least some of them) for me. He not only doesn't realise that he does some seriously messed up things or his actions hurt Sonakshi but he continuously pretends to be hurt because of her! Which ultimately makes Sonakshi doubt herself, blame herself & apologize for things that weren't her fault. I have no problem with the heroine being too kind hearted or too forgiving. But at least let the opposite party admit they were wrong & ask for her forgiveness. In Sonakshi's case, she is the one who goes around asking for forgiveness from the very same people who should have been asking for it from her.🤦🏻

Originally posted by: Sanleema

bold 1 - I remember those days. the fandom went crazy if someone so much as pointed a finger at dev’s character back then. People wrote essays justifying dev’s behavior and his pain back then. The amount of bashing and blaming that went for sonakshi because she chose to leave him was another level.

Are you serious? 😳

Sonakshi was asked to leave! By her so called husband. Because she accidentally bumped into his mother after being pushed by him. She kept asking if he really wanted her to leave, she kept saying goodbyes, giving him time to change his mind....but he pointedly told her to leave.

And after his brother got her & her family thrown out on the street (which he didn't even deny), when she came to talk to him, he told her that -

1) she trapped him & then married him for his money

2) she was not a good wife

3) she was not a good bahu

4) It's her fault she cannot be a mother & she would have been a horrible mother anyway

5) she wrecked his home

6) marrying her was the biggest mistake of his life.

🤢

Going away was not her choice. She was kicked out, quite insensitively & ruthlessly. What should she have done instead? Dumped her family on the street & sit in dharna outside Dixit house? Was mental abuse not enough? Should she have given her patidev & his mother a chance to physically assault her as well? Was that why people were mad at her? 🤢

Originally posted by: NotAMuggle

If it was limited to that only, then it would still have been okay. But.... remember this episode?

https://youtu.be/oQjD2af_rx0

He accused her of being a cunning calculative gold digger who uses her beauty to trap men🤢 The whole dialogue about how beautiful her eyes are & how she knows how to capture men in their depth was sick to say the least 🤢 It might sound poetic, but he actually implied, no not implied, he pointedly told her that she captures men for her pleasure & plays with them. Like she played with him 7 years back. And if things don't work out with Yatin, she probably had someone else on standby as well. He not so subtly, called her a gold digger w****. He had accused her of the same thing on that fateful night they separated as well.

For the first time even I thought that maybe he was hurt & he was scared that she was moving on....but now that I look back & my rose tinted glasses are gone, I recognise it for what it was. Toxic masculinity trying to shame an independent woman whom he could not control anymore. It was an urge to hurt her born out of his frustration. He knew his words will hurt her & he still calculatively chose those words because he wanted to see her break, see her crumble, see her self confidence gone. He was satisfied to see tears brimming in her eyes & he rubbed it in with that "kya hua? Rona aa raha hai?" 🤢 That's how it had been before too (during the Ritvik phase). Whenever he couldn't control her, he tried to break her. I don't know how anyone convince themselves that it was love....but I feel, it was toxic relationship that involved power games & Dev went super destructive everytime he lost the power.

I didn't even understand how Sonakshi forgave him after all he said to her that night within the span of a day just because he was sulking away in some farmhouse. She even convinced him that he was not at fault & it was her who disappointed him. I mean how? 🤓 And later on she just came running back to him with a ton of sorries even though he NEVER apologized for the horrendous things he said to her. Forget apologizing, he never even bothered to admit he was wrong about her. She literally had no problem with whatever he thought of her. After that episode I don't understand or like Sonakshi all that much either. To me she seems to be an idiotic woman who doesn't know her worth & has completely discarded her sense of self-respect.

I do not know if he had any right to scream at her , when all he did was roam around with his girl friends. I couldnt understand why it was ok for him to do that where as she couldnt move around with a male childhood "trusted " friend of hers. Sometimes I feel the moral values mapped to a women and men are different. Ideally it should be the same irrespective of the gender. The painful reality of life.

Originally posted by: NotAMuggle

If it was limited to that only, then it would still have been okay. But.... remember this episode?

https://youtu.be/oQjD2af_rx0

He accused her of being a cunning calculative gold digger who uses her beauty to trap men🤢 The whole dialogue about how beautiful her eyes are & how she knows how to capture men in their depth was sick to say the least 🤢 It might sound poetic, but he actually implied, no not implied, he pointedly told her that she captures men for her pleasure & plays with them. Like she played with him 7 years back. And if things don't work out with Yatin, she probably had someone else on standby as well. He not so subtly, called her a gold digger w****. He had accused her of the same thing on that fateful night they separated as well.

For the first time even I thought that maybe he was hurt & he was scared that she was moving on....but now that I look back & my rose tinted glasses are gone, I recognise it for what it was. Toxic masculinity trying to shame an independent woman whom he could not control anymore. It was an urge to hurt her born out of his frustration. He knew his words will hurt her & he still calculatively chose those words because he wanted to see her break, see her crumble, see her self confidence gone. He was satisfied to see tears brimming in her eyes & he rubbed it in with that "kya hua? Rona aa raha hai?" 🤢 That's how it had been before too (during the Ritvik phase). Whenever he couldn't control her, he tried to break her. I don't know how anyone convince themselves that it was love....but I feel, it was toxic relationship that involved power games & Dev went super destructive everytime he lost the power.

I didn't even understand how Sonakshi forgave him after all he said to her that night within the span of a day just because he was sulking away in some farmhouse. She even convinced him that he was not at fault & it was her who disappointed him. I mean how? 🤓 And later on she just came running back to him with a ton of sorries even though he NEVER apologized for the horrendous things he said to her. Forget apologizing, he never even bothered to admit he was wrong about her. She literally had no problem with whatever he thought of her. After that episode I don't understand or like Sonakshi all that much either. To me she seems to be an idiotic woman who doesn't know her worth & has completely discarded her sense of self-respect.

I told you, sona is educated gopi bahu. Nothing new. She gave power to him hurt her.