Set a couple of hours later to Ishqi's exit from Malhotra Mansion.
*
《 I 》 Kaise Akele Chhod Deti Aapko?
Kartik. Kya - kya kar raha hai -
Before his confused self could even complete its question, his brother was already out of his room, slamming the door shut behind him. His eyes traveled beside him on his bed where Kartik had thrown his phone before he rushed out of the room as if his phone was about to get him killed.
Grabbing the phone with one hand, he pulled it in front of his eyes. His gaze lingered upon the caller ID. Bhai's Sukoon. Kartik had left a call on? Why on the earth did Kartik leave his phone to him?
He slowly got the phone to his ear and all that it took him was barely a moment to know it was indeed his once sukoon on the other end of the call. The once sukoon that had gifted him the most painful suffering of his life.
A mere moment of silence after placing the phone near his ear was enough for his heart to listen to her uneven heartbeats. Until now, only his eyes were equipped with the x-ray that allowed him to see through her but lately, it seemed like even his ears were blessed with the microphone to hear her even before her words could find her voice.
Swallowing the lump formed in his throat, he took a while to mask his torment and wear his pretense. Pretense of being unaffected. Pretense of being okay. Pretense of being... whole when he was lost, trying to even spot the shattered pieces of his heart let aside putting them back in their places.
It had been hours since she left. Him. Ever since her presence abandoned him, leaving him to suffocate, he hadn't stepped out of his room. His gaze had been busy staring at the face of the woman in the photo frame resting on his heart.
For the past hours, all that he had done was - miss her. Miss them. Miss himself.
She hadn't left alone. She had taken several pieces of his heart with herself - restraining his heart from becoming whole again. Even if he would try his hardest - his heart would still stay broken because he no longer had its every piece.
Damn you, the traitor heart!
He hadn't thought that his heart would be the sickest traitor he would ever know. His heart betrayed him, brutally burying the loyalty in the coffin named Ishqi's love! With every step that she took away from him, the pieces of his heart followed her route like her disciples.
She hadn't left alone. The pieces of his own heart had left him as well. His heart - chose her - over him. He might never be able to confess it to anyone how ridiculously he envied them. They had the liberty to run after her while he had to hold back his feet. He was forced to.
He sucked in a deep breath, ensuring that his voice wouldn't betray him, and let her know how broken he truly was. Just as he uncovered the phone, pulling his hand that he had used not to let her hear anything, he heard her.
And just as her soft voice hit his ears, he shut his mouth, swallowing his unuttered words.
Mere sanam, teri kasam,
Chhodenge ab na ye haath!
The initial surprise flickering in his orbs upon hearing her singing to him faded just as soon as her throat choked at the last word and her cracked voice gave away what she had tried her best to hide. Her anguish.
He involuntarily turned on his side, still holding the phone protectively to his ears as if - if he put it aside even for a fraction of a moment - he would lose her voice also. Just like he had lost her presence. He couldn't afford to take that risk. He just couldn't afford to.
Chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye... na mera saath chhodna... aur na ye haath!
Purani Delhi ki hoon. Mar jaaungi par ye haath aur ye saath kabhi nahi chhodungi!
A lone tear escaped his eye once he returned from memory lane. The night where he had firmly put it in her head not to leave his hand no matter what happened and hearing her singing that song left him on the verge of breaking down. In the worst way possible.
Ye zindagi, guzregi ab,
Humdum tumhare hi saath!
He was yet to recover from the emotions she had invoked within him when he heard her again.
This woman! What was she trying to do? Wasn't it enough all that she had already done that she was putting her best foot forward to snatch whatever sanity he was remained with?
Apna ye wada raha,
Tumse na honge juda!
"Shut up! Just shut up," he yelled, once she made it unbearable for him. "What are you trying to do?"
"Kuch nahi. Bas aapko yaad dila rahi hu... mujhe apna wada yaad hai," she uttered, in the softest tone she could manage. One of her attempts to caress his crying heart.
"Haath bhi chhod diya aur saath bhi!"
A sharp pang of hurt hit her heart.
"Aap chahte the ke main chali jaau, Ahaan."
Her almost inaudible voice still got through. He fisted the bedsheet, squeezing his eyes shut.
Maine jaane ke liye kaha aur tum... chali gayi. Ek baar bhi nahi socha ke... tumhare bina... main...
He blinked several times to fight off the tears welling up in his eyes. He disconnected the call, pushing the phone out of his reach.
It had been quite a while since he had a breakdown last. Even after coming across his mother after twenty years hadn't unsettled him the way Ishqi had.
She knew it all.
She knew what his mother did to him and his family.
She knew that even if he pretended to be made of steel in front of others, his pain of being abandoned by his mother was still as raw as it could be.
She knew that he could accept everything in the world... every heartbreak, every betrayal, every lie but nothing related to his mother.
She knew it all.
And yet, and yet, she chose to do what she did. Despite knowing that it would bring only miseries his and their way. She still chose his mother. Over him. Over them.
"Why, Ishqi? Kyu kiya? Kaise kiya? Sab pata tha tumhe. Uske bavjood? Wo aurat... wo aurat mujhse zada maayne rakhti hai tumhare liye ke tumne unke liye mujhe... mujhe..."
He was drowning in the ocean of grief, gasping for one moment of comfort. One moment of affection. One moment of her love. Just one moment.
His eyes glistened with the emotions he would never let anyone see. He wouldn't allow anyone to witness what losing her did to him.
Ishqi and his mother. Together.
Her song.
His brain compiled and played them together. The eyes that shimmered with hurt earlier, now burned in rage and within moments, the photo frame that he had been securely holding was on the floor. Into pieces. Broken. Just like his broken heart.
The shrill sound of the shattering glass filled his ears, catching the attention of his eyes. His welled-up eyes stuck on her face in the broken photo frame and the next thing he knew - that he was in the floor.
Pushing his hand in the frame, he pulled out their photograph from it - uncaring of the glass pieces piercing in his skin. All that his mind knew was they were blocking his view of her and he needed to bring her out of them. And he did.
Blood began to drip from his hand but he seemed least bothered about it. Drawing his knees closer, he wounded his hands around them. His lips lingered on her face in the photograph for a moment before he buried his face in his knees.
Everything had ended.
For him.
In the most brutal way possible.
Earlier, the woman who was everything to him abandoned him.
And now, the woman who he had made his everything abandoned him.
The world envied him but only he knew how truly unlucky he was. Despite having earned everything, he had lost everything.
Love and AVM didn't seem to go hand in hand. Everyone his heart held close eventually left him for something or the other.
"Sab chale gaye. Sabne chhod diya mujhe. Pehle Papa. Fir Maa. Aur ab... tum! Kya galti hai meri? Kya galti hai meri, Ishqi? Kyu nahi rok paaya main tum sabko?" His sobs, though low, still echoed in his room, and to his relief, he had no reason to hold himself back for there was nobody to witness his tears.
Nobody.
Nobody to engulf him in a hug and tell him that it was going to be okay.
Nobody to caress his hair and assure him that it wasn't his fault.
Nobody to wipe his tears and just embrace him till he felt better.
Nobody.
"Bhai! Bhai, chalo."
Kartik dashed in his room and momentarily froze looking around him. He couldn't recall when he last saw his brother's room in such a messy state. His gaze went down at the scattered pieces of the photo frame and his brother sitting right beside them.
"Bhai," he murmured, helplessly cursing the situation. His own eyes watered at his brother's crying figure.
He resisted the urge to sit beside his brother and comfort him for as long as he needed to and struggled to hide his tears before they could escape his eyes. He couldn't cry. Not at that moment.
"Bhai, chalo. Sam - Sam is about to kill himself."
Ahaan's head jerked up at information dumped by Kartik. "What?" Wiping his cheeks, he stood up with the support of the side table. "Kya bol raha hai tu?"
"Abhi explain karne ka time nahi hai, Bhai. Jaldi chalo. Raaste me batata hu!" He dragged Ahaan along without explaining further.
●
"Kartik, tu kaha le aaya? Ye Sam ka ghar to nahi hai. Tu kuch batayega?" Ahaan scanned the surrounding where Kartik had parked the car.
He hadn't been to that place before. Where had Kartik brought him?
Jaldi nikal yaha se, Kartik warna aaj to teri kabar Bhai khud hi khodenge, tujhe khud hi dafnayenge aur uss par phool bhi khud hi chadhayenge! Mentally imagining his brother digging a grave for him and burying him alive in it, Kartik stumbled on his steps.
"Thik se chal. Kya kar raha hai tu?" Ahaan pulled him up by his arm. His brother was acting weird, and making him suspicious.
"What the fudge!" he blurted when Kartik pushed him inside the house and locked the door from outside.
"Kartik. KARTIK. Door khol." He relentlessly banged on the door, screaming at Kartik every two seconds.
"So -" Ruk ja. Abhi sorry bhi bolna tere liye jaanlewa ho sakta hai. Nervous, scared, anxious - all at the same time! Kartik could already see his dead body. Abhi yaha se nikalna hi better hai. Warna tu kaha se aaya kaha gaya, kisiko pata nahi chalega. Barso baad log bolenge - tha koi. Something with K. He brought his nail-biting session to an end and made a quick run from there.
*
"Dammit!" He kicked the locked door out of frustration when minutes passed with his screaming and hitting on the door but there was no response from Kartik's end.
His gaze traveled around the dimly lit home. Taking off his blazer, he hung it on his one hand as he walked forward to figure out whose place it was and why exactly Kartik had left him there.
His rushing footsteps instantly stopped once a faint sound greeted his ears. Despite being too faint - almost inaudible - he heard it. Or perhaps, he felt it.
In the absolute silence, he could make out that they were guitar strings. His feet automatically ran in the direction of the sound for his heart had recognized the source.
His mind still held the uncertainty, but his heart danced in the guarantee, for it knew it could be wrong at anything but sensing her. Wrong at anything but recognizing the fragrance of her presence.
He knew it was her.
His unsteady feet climbed the stairs skipping many of them for the urge to see her was insane enough not to let him wait even for a moment.
Maine kiya, hai raat din,
Bas tera hi intezaar!
He had just reached the terrace entrance when her soothing voice found its way to his ears again. His eyes caught her standing near the railing, her back facing him.
Tere bina, aata...
Her throat choked, leaving her to pause.
Seeing her tightly fisting her hand when her gathered control betrayed her, his heart wanted to run up to her, take her in his arms and hide her there. Forever.
Nahi, ek pal mujhe ab qarar.
Humdum mere mil gaya,
Ab hum na honge juda.
He involuntarily leaned against the wall behind, failing to understand how she could manage to get herself to sing when he knew that she wasn't in a state to even speak. Or at least that was what he thought whatever happened between them must have done to her.
Was he wrong? Did it not affect her at all? Was all that his grandmother said about her was the ultimate truth and everything she made her feel all along a sham?
His feet took him closer to her. On their own accord, they covered the distance between them. The soft music by the guitar strings had captivated him enough to forget everything for the time being.
In that moment - the only thing he cared about was her. The only thing he could see was her. The only thing he could hear was the music created by her.
Apna ye wada raha...
She placed the guitar down and just as she turned to him, the realization sank in and he turned around without letting her eyes catch the sight of his face.
Damn it. What was he doing? It was ridiculous how his heart was being so annoyingly stubborn and doing things on its own, royally disobeying his commands.
He shouldn't have been there. He couldn't be there. He needed to leave - rather run from there - just as fast as he could. Another minute there and she might see it all. See what Ishqi had done to Ahaan Veer Malhotra!
He couldn't let her witness his tears. He wouldn't. Taking a moment to brace himself to wear the strongest pretense of him, he lifted his foot to take him away from her.
But to his agony, he couldn't take a step further for his soft fingers had curled themselves around his wrist. That mere touch of hers shook his facade like an insane storm destroying whatever came its way.
Hum tum na honge juda!
Apna ye wada raha...
He attempted to jerk her hand off the moment she resumed singing from where she had left but she didn't let go of him.
Tumse
One stride was all that she needed to eliminate the distance between them.
Na honge
Leaving his wrist, she slipped her hands from the sides of his torso before pushing them upward until one of her hands found his heart. She pressed her cheek against his back, as she firmly embraced him from behind.
Juda!
And that - that brought the facade he had worn with so much of efforts brutally crashing down.
No matter how hard he tried to fight off the tears wetting his eyelashes - the matter was beyond his control by then.
His years of practice had crumbled within minutes. Courtesy to Ishqi Ahaan Veer Malhotra.
He roughly tried to get her hands off him but the more he tried, the more tightly she held him closer. His struggle to break apart continued while her persistence to keep him to herself continued. In the battle of his mind that wanted to take him away from her and her heart that was ready to do whatever it would take not to let his mind win - his mind gave up, letting her heart win.
Once his hands that were pushing her hands off him stopped their struggle and rested on her hands, a bit of relief rushed through her.
"Maine kaha tha na - hum haar - jeet... sukh - dukh... sabme partners hai. Yaha to haar bhi hai aur dukh bhi. Kaise akele chhod deti aapko inn dono se akeke deal karne ke liye?"
"Chhod to tumne diya hi hai. Aur mujhe chhodkar uss - uss aurat ko chuna hai jisne mujhe life me sabse zada hurt kiya hai. Jinke vajah se... khair. Ab inn baaton ka koi matlab nahi. Tumne chun liya jise tumhe chunna tha."
Her heart momentary stopped. She had been a stern witness to his anger quite a lot of times. That wasn't alien to her but his voice - whenever laced with heartbreaking hurt - always went slicing through her heart.
His stiff figure in her hold made absolutely no attempt to move away.
Kaise samjhau! Maine aapko hi chuna hai!
"Shh," she mumbled, rubbing on his shoulders when he shivered in her arms. She knew he was losing it second by second.
"It's okay, Ahaan. Aap ro sakte hai. Chilla sakte hai. Mujhpe gussa kar sakte hai. Yaad hai aapne kaha tha aap try karenge... mujhse apni feelings share karna. Please. Main samajh sakti -"
Grabbing the hold of her wrist, he pulled her in front of him with a jerk. "Kya samajh sakti ho?? He gripped her shoulders, not realizing and caring about his nails digging deep in her skin. "BOLO. Kya samajh sakti ho? Ye samajh sakti ho ke kaisa lagta hai jab tumhe ye sunkar bada hona padta hai ke tumhari Maa kisi aadmi ke saath bhag gayi? Kyunki wo ameer tha. Ye samajh sakti ho ke kaisa hota hai jab tumhara bachpan tumhare bade hone se pehle hi khatam ho jata hai. Ye samajh sakti ho," his hands slowly slipped off her hands to her legs as he descended on his knees, the pain of his heart flowing through his eyes, "ke jab ek family toot ti hai to kaise sab bikhar jata hai!"
Kaise Main Tumse Ye Kahoon,
Jaan Ho Tum Aur Dil Bhi Tum!
Tum Bin Ab Jaau Kahan,
Raah Bhi Tum, Manzil Bhi Tum!
*
💜
To be continued... Not sure when.
If you have reached till here, I would love to hear your feedback.
Much love.
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
3