Child marriage: The struggle of Anirudhha.

We only see Bondita as a victim of child marriage but I feel Anirudhh bore more trauma due to the event than Bondita.

For Bondita, the journey was relatively simple. For her, it was a true marriage. Barrister babu was her husband from day 1. After her initial struggle to get adjusted with her 'Rakshas patibabu', she got gelled with him. Her kaka-sasur,her mother, the society around her made sure that the impression on her mind that she is wife of 'Anirudhha Roy Chaudhari' becomes deeper. The caring nature of her 'patibabu' played a catalyst in the process. Even at a very young age, she was aware that he should be only hers and was angry at the news of him getting married to Saudamini. Bondita fulfilled all the duties of good wife, of caring, protecting, guiding from a very young age.She always witnessed a 'Man' who deeply cared about her. It was very natural for her to develop a kind of romantic feeling towards him when she became off age. There was deep sense of possession about him. She behaved with Manorama as any other woman would do with other woman in life of her man. Even though she separated from him more for his sake and as 'Child Marriage' was 'kupratha', the deep down impression on her of being wife of 'Anirudhha' had already been made kind of irreversibly. Only thing which could have pushed her away from this feeling was total change in personality of Anirudhha. When she realized that her 'Sakhababu' deep down inside is the same person, it did not take much time for her feelings to resurface.

The real struggle is what Anirudhha has been through.

Marriage affected Anirudhha in terms of what he is not allowed to feel for other woman and for Bondita.He is ideally not allowed to get romantically involved with any other woman.Anirudhha was passionately, romantically involved with Saudamini when he got married to Bondita but soon we see Anirudhha becoming awkward while getting too close with her. We even witness a very hesitant Anirudhha while touching Manorama.

Similarly,marriage no more allows him to feel like a brother, father to Bondita like he was to the girls from heera-mandi. At best, he can be a friend of Bondita.

We do witness Anirudhha's feelings changing for Bondita. First he sees Bondita only as a first step towards the 'kranti' but over time, he finds a companion who cares for him, deeply understands him in Bondita. The marriage allows Bondita and Anirudhha to spend time together,care for each other which deepens their bond. We witness Anirudhha becoming comfortable touching, holding hands (completely platonic touch) with Bondita over time but with no other. We even see him becoming comfortable doing all the rituals (lakshmi puja) with Bondita as any husband would do with his wife.

The biggest struggle for Anirudhha is that he is deeply bonded with Bondita as if she is part of him but can't have romantic feelings for her as Bondita is still a young girl as Bondita can feel for 'Man' Anirudhha. Anirudhha till the end of young Bondita's character has shown to have deep, platonic relationship with her.

It was a bit surprising for me when Bondita figures out that her 'Sakhababu' loves her. What kind of love? Romantic?

I am completely fine Bondita confessing her feelings so quickly but a bit confused when Anirudhha is shown to have deep down romantic feelings for Bondita. When did he developed those? Anirudhha never saw adult Bondita to feel romantically about her or is it that Anirudhha was so deeply bonded with Bondita that he too subconsciously developed romantic feelings for the adult Bondita while she was growing up in London? Even though I will take it with pinch of salt, it is possible to develop romantic feelings for a person you are bonded deeply with imagining him or her growing up into an adult or is it that the 'wife' feeling was already subconsciously there for Bondita who was a young woman by the time they parted ways? I wish it is the first one.

Hope my questions get answered in due course.

Originally posted by: MyThoughts

We only see Bondita as a victim of child marriage but I feel Anirudhh bore more trauma due to the event than Bondita.

For Bondita, the journey was relatively simple. For her, it was a true marriage. Barrister babu was her husband from day 1. After her initial struggle to get adjusted with her 'Rakshas patibabu', she got gelled with him. Her kaka-sasur,her mother, the society around her made sure that the impression on her mind that she is wife of 'Anirudhha Roy Chaudhari' becomes deeper. The caring nature of her 'patibabu' played a catalyst in the process. Even at a very young age, she was aware that he should be only hers and was angry at the news of him getting married to Saudamini. Bondita fulfilled all the duties of good wife, of caring, protecting, guiding from a very young age.She always witnessed a 'Man' who deeply cared about her. It was very natural for her to develop a kind of romantic feeling towards him when she became off age. There was deep sense of possession about him. She behaved with Manorama as any other woman would do with other woman in life of her man. Even though she separated from him more for his sake and as 'Child Marriage' was 'kupratha', the deep down impression on her of being wife of 'Anirudhha' had already been made kind of irreversibly. Only thing which could have pushed her away from this feeling was total change in personality of Anirudhha. When she realized that her 'Sakhababu' deep down inside is the same person, it did not take much time for her feelings to resurface.

The real struggle is what Anirudhha has been through.

Marriage affected Anirudhha in terms of what he is not allowed to feel for other woman and for Bondita.He is ideally not allowed to get romantically involved with any other woman.Anirudhha was passionately, romantically involved with Saudamini when he got married to Bondita but soon we see Anirudhha becoming awkward while getting too close with her. We even witness a very hesitant Anirudhha while touching Manorama.

Similarly,marriage no more allows him to feel like a brother, father to Bondita like he was to the girls from heera-mandi. At best, he can be a friend of Bondita.

We do witness Anirudhha's feelings changing for Bondita. First he sees Bondita only as a first step towards the 'kranti' but over time, he finds a companion who cares for him, deeply understands him in Bondita. The marriage allows Bondita and Anirudhha to spend time together,care for each other which deepens their bond. We witness Anirudhha becoming comfortable touching, holding hands (completely platonic touch) with Bondita over time but with no other. We even see him becoming comfortable doing all the rituals (lakshmi puja) with Bondita as any husband would do with his wife.

The biggest struggle for Anirudhha is that he is deeply bonded with Bondita as if she is part of him but can't have romantic feelings for her as Bondita is still a young girl as Bondita can feel for 'Man' Anirudhha. Anirudhha till the end of young Bondita's character has shown to have deep, platonic relationship with her.

It was a bit surprising for me when Bondita figures out that her 'Sakhababu' loves her. What kind of love? Romantic?

I am completely fine Bondita confessing her feelings so quickly but a bit confused when Anirudhha is shown to have deep down romantic feelings for Bondita. When did he developed those? Anirudhha never saw adult Bondita to feel romantically about her or is it that Anirudhha was so deeply bonded with Bondita that he too subconsciously developed romantic feelings for the adult Bondita while she was growing up in London? Even though I will take it with pinch of salt, it is possible to develop romantic feelings for a person you are bonded deeply with imagining him or her growing up into an adult or is it that the 'wife' feeling was already subconsciously there for Bondita who was a young woman by the time they parted ways? I wish it is the first one.

Hope my questions get answered in due course.

I think it's the answer.. & for this same reason Aniruddh wouldn't tolerate Bondita being married with someone else now..

Nice question!

I think it is important to make distinction between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Both are different thing, although in most people these two are intimately intermingled. Romantic attraction by definition is an acute longing to spend time with a person. While sexual attraction is what makes a person want to be physically intimate, in a particular way, you know that I mean?

I don't know how the future story is going to shape, but till now, the impression that I felt was that Ani doesn't still think of Bon as somebody he will be sexually intimate with. What Ani feels for Bon is romantic longing. He would like her to be a part of his life, live with him, laugh with him, scold and get scolded etc. Also remember, he wanted to walk hand in hand with Bon, so that they together can set the society right for women. That is the reason he wanted Bon to become a barrister at the first place! He yet doesn't see her as somebody he can get intimate with. This is reflected in the fact that how comfortable he is with her when they get physically close and how he cares for her as he did for child-Bon. It is still pretty much non-sexual. And yet, there are moments of realization from his side that now, she is a grown woman.

Originally posted by: MyThoughts

We only see Bondita as a victim of child marriage but I feel Anirudhh bore more trauma due to the event than Bondita.

For Bondita, the journey was relatively simple. For her, it was a true marriage. Barrister babu was her husband from day 1. After her initial struggle to get adjusted with her 'Rakshas patibabu', she got gelled with him. Her kaka-sasur,her mother, the society around her made sure that the impression on her mind that she is wife of 'Anirudhha Roy Chaudhari' becomes deeper. The caring nature of her 'patibabu' played a catalyst in the process. Even at a very young age, she was aware that he should be only hers and was angry at the news of him getting married to Saudamini. Bondita fulfilled all the duties of good wife, of caring, protecting, guiding from a very young age.She always witnessed a 'Man' who deeply cared about her. It was very natural for her to develop a kind of romantic feeling towards him when she became off age. There was deep sense of possession about him. She behaved with Manorama as any other woman would do with other woman in life of her man. Even though she separated from him more for his sake and as 'Child Marriage' was 'kupratha', the deep down impression on her of being wife of 'Anirudhha' had already been made kind of irreversibly. Only thing which could have pushed her away from this feeling was total change in personality of Anirudhha. When she realized that her 'Sakhababu' deep down inside is the same person, it did not take much time for her feelings to resurface.

The real struggle is what Anirudhha has been through.

Marriage affected Anirudhha in terms of what he is not allowed to feel for other woman and for Bondita.He is ideally not allowed to get romantically involved with any other woman.Anirudhha was passionately, romantically involved with Saudamini when he got married to Bondita but soon we see Anirudhha becoming awkward while getting too close with her. We even witness a very hesitant Anirudhha while touching Manorama.

Similarly,marriage no more allows him to feel like a brother, father to Bondita like he was to the girls from heera-mandi. At best, he can be a friend of Bondita.

We do witness Anirudhha's feelings changing for Bondita. First he sees Bondita only as a first step towards the 'kranti' but over time, he finds a companion who cares for him, deeply understands him in Bondita. The marriage allows Bondita and Anirudhha to spend time together,care for each other which deepens their bond. We witness Anirudhha becoming comfortable touching, holding hands (completely platonic touch) with Bondita over time but with no other. We even see him becoming comfortable doing all the rituals (lakshmi puja) with Bondita as any husband would do with his wife.

The biggest struggle for Anirudhha is that he is deeply bonded with Bondita as if she is part of him but can't have romantic feelings for her as Bondita is still a young girl as Bondita can feel for 'Man' Anirudhha. Anirudhha till the end of young Bondita's character has shown to have deep, platonic relationship with her.

It was a bit surprising for me when Bondita figures out that her 'Sakhababu' loves her. What kind of love? Romantic?

I am completely fine Bondita confessing her feelings so quickly but a bit confused when Anirudhha is shown to have deep down romantic feelings for Bondita. When did he developed those? Anirudhha never saw adult Bondita to feel romantically about her or is it that Anirudhha was so deeply bonded with Bondita that he too subconsciously developed romantic feelings for the adult Bondita while she was growing up in London? Even though I will take it with pinch of salt, it is possible to develop romantic feelings for a person you are bonded deeply with imagining him or her growing up into an adult or is it that the 'wife' feeling was already subconsciously there for Bondita who was a young woman by the time they parted ways? I wish it is the first one.

Hope my questions get answered in due course.

Exactly what I've been thinking, I'm not watching as of now, will start watching once they start with the social theme but not as of now, but have been following the written updates. They should have shown things developing between them slowly nd gradually nd not this way, its really awkward tat he accepted his love for her, nd not platonic of course, but romantic (not sexual, romantic), but that love was also not present, nd should not have been obviously coz she was a kid! But they tend to side these things, but According to me it should have been taken care of as rudhita was a very delicate bond

Still then, wo bhul gaye, bass ab they start with a progressive track is what I need

Originally posted by: anir3434

Nice question!

I think it is important to make distinction between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Both are different thing, although in most people these two are intimately intermingled. Romantic attraction by definition is an acute longing to spend time with a person. While sexual attraction is what makes a person want to be physically intimate, in a particular way, you know that I mean?

I don't know how the future story is going to shape, but till now, the impression that I felt was that Ani doesn't still think of Bon as somebody he will be sexually intimate with. What Ani feels for Bon is romantic longing. He would like her to be a part of his life, live with him, laugh with him, scold and get scolded etc. Also remember, he wanted to walk hand in hand with Bon, so that they together can set the society right for women. That is the reason he wanted Bon to become a barrister at the first place! He yet doesn't see her as somebody he can get intimate with. This is reflected in the fact that how comfortable he is with her when they get physically close and how he cares for her as he did for child-Bon. It is still pretty much non-sexual. And yet, there are moments of realization from his side that now, she is a grown woman.

Well, yes, its not sexual but romantic, which is still weird, coz, obviously coz he never loved her that way, neither romantically nor lustfully, he loved hr but platonically, and that platonic love should have been shown changing nd growing into romantic when he sees her as a woman first, nd then whatever comes slowly slowly was acceptable, exactly the reason why he was so so uncomfortable with her crush on him in the manorama track, he obviously knew that the little girl was nd could not ask for sexual advances, they were romantic(which was again society induced nd not really romantic) but ani thought that they were romantic nd he was extremely uncomfortable with them, but the makers forget their own creation so what to say😔

Anything romantic bw child bon nd ani would have been downright creepy nd it wasn't there till pre leap, so saying that he realized romantic feelings which never existed nd should have never existed, coz I wouldn't have been able to respect arc if he felt that way for child bon, is not really right

Just imagine if it would have been acceptable if he was shown realizing romantic(not lustful) love pre leap, it would have been a danger to the show, but now they did the same thing, the only difference being that now chhoti bon is not into the picture, but still confession uss hi k liye tha na

Originally posted by: aastha12345

Well, yes, its not sexual but romantic, which is still weird, coz, obviously coz he never loved her that way, neither romantically nor lustfully, he loved hr but platonically, and that platonic love should have been shown changing nd growing into romantic when he sees her as a woman first, nd then whatever comes slowly slowly was acceptable, exactly the reason why he was so so uncomfortable with her crush on him in the manorama track, he obviously knew that the little girl was nd could not ask for sexual advances, they were romantic(which was again society induced nd not really romantic) but ani thought that they were romantic nd he was extremely uncomfortable with them, but the makers forget their own creation so what to say😔

Anything romantic bw child bon nd ani would have been downright creepy nd it wasn't there till pre leap, so saying that he realized romantic feelings which never existed nd should have never existed, coz I wouldn't have been able to respect arc if he felt that way for child bon, is not really right

Just imagine if it would have been acceptable if he was shown realizing romantic(not lustful) love pre leap, it would have been a danger to the show, but now they did the same thing, the only difference being that now chhoti bon is not into the picture, but still confession uss hi k liye tha na

Well, I agree with you on that. Yes, that confession was problematic as well. Realistically speaking, even adult Bon's "love" is a result of childhood grooming and hence problematic in itself. I would have preferred Ani and Bon marrying different people. But then people wouldn't be watching the show. Even then, if they had to show a love track between Bon and Ani, then it should have been shown post-leap from the scratch. May be one such track could have been the following:

They can show that Ani still thinks of adult Bon as a child and thinks of her in a extremely caring and yet platonic way. However adult Bon has a crush on him. After coming back from London, they spend time with each other and Ani helps Bon with her barristery. They face problems together and bond with each other. Then one day, when she reveals to him of her crush/love. He rejects her, not realizing that he has fallen in love with her as well . He tells her her love is not love but grooming and he doesnt want to bind her in any way. He tells her that she should find somebody of her own age and see more world and then decide if he still loves him or not. And then Bon gets upset and decides to move away from Ani's life, because she thinks her life holds no meaning. Then she starts living in a far off city somewhere else, faces a hell lot of troubles women face, used her barrister skills to uplift women, and because of her activism faces threats to her life. She thinks even if she cannot get Ani in her life, she can try fulfilling his dreams (which was betterment of women). May be they can show Bon also becoming mature over time and hence her love for Ani too becoming more refined. She thinks Ani must have moved on in life, not realizing that he was always helping her through crucial moments secretly. Then Bon's life gets in danger because of anti-social elements. He goes to her, saves her life and declares his love for her. And once again join hands with each other to set the society right.
You know, something like that...

Originally posted by: anir3434

Well, I agree with you on that. Yes, that confession was problematic as well. Realistically speaking, even adult Bon's "love" is a result of childhood grooming and hence problematic in itself. I would have preferred Ani and Bon marrying different people. But then people wouldn't be watching the show. Even then, if they had to show a love track between Bon and Ani, then it should have been shown post-leap from the scratch. May be one such track could have been the following:

They can show that Ani still thinks of adult Bon as a child and thinks of her in a extremely caring and yet platonic way. However adult Bon has a crush on him. After coming back from London, they spend time with each other and Ani helps Bon with her barristery. They face problems together and bond with each other. Then one day, when she reveals to him of her crush/love. He rejects her, not realizing that he has fallen in love with her as well . He tells her her love is not love but grooming and he doesnt want to bind her in any way. He tells her that she should find somebody of her own age and see more world and then decide if he still loves him or not. And then Bon gets upset and decides to move away from Ani's life, because she thinks her life holds no meaning. Then she starts living in a far off city somewhere else, faces a hell lot of troubles women face, used her barrister skills to uplift women, and because of her activism faces threats to her life. She thinks even if she cannot get Ani in her life, she can try fulfilling his dreams (which was betterment of women). May be they can show Bon also becoming mature over time and hence her love for Ani too becoming more refined. She thinks Ani must have moved on in life, not realizing that he was always helping her through crucial moments secretly. Then Bon's life gets in danger because of anti-social elements. He goes to her, saves her life and declares his love for her. And once again join hands with each other to set the society right.
You know, something like that...

@bold: you spoke my mind, I would have personally preferred that route but we know this is an itv show nd we can only expect, that way would actually have been the best way

Nd yes, joining hands for the society was something I would have appreciated too, but they choose this way, actually they should have taken care of this.

Now, all im hoping is that, they start off with a track on social issues soon nd don't make it romance centric

He only confessed his love, but didn't give a proper explanation of how his love started, when, all.. in his unsent letters to Bondita also he mentioned that he want to be with her, take care of her. Want to see her academic progress and attaining her barrister degree. His feelings still yet to come out. Hope makers will explore more

Originally posted by: anir3434

Well, I agree with you on that. Yes, that confession was problematic as well. Realistically speaking, even adult Bon's "love" is a result of childhood grooming and hence problematic in itself. I would have preferred Ani and Bon marrying different people. But then people wouldn't be watching the show. Even then, if they had to show a love track between Bon and Ani, then it should have been shown post-leap from the scratch. May be one such track could have been the following:

They can show that Ani still thinks of adult Bon as a child and thinks of her in a extremely caring and yet platonic way. However adult Bon has a crush on him. After coming back from London, they spend time with each other and Ani helps Bon with her barristery. They face problems together and bond with each other. Then one day, when she reveals to him of her crush/love. He rejects her, not realizing that he has fallen in love with her as well . He tells her her love is not love but grooming and he doesnt want to bind her in any way. He tells her that she should find somebody of her own age and see more world and then decide if he still loves him or not. And then Bon gets upset and decides to move away from Ani's life, because she thinks her life holds no meaning. Then she starts living in a far off city somewhere else, faces a hell lot of troubles women face, used her barrister skills to uplift women, and because of her activism faces threats to her life. She thinks even if she cannot get Ani in her life, she can try fulfilling his dreams (which was betterment of women). May be they can show Bon also becoming mature over time and hence her love for Ani too becoming more refined. She thinks Ani must have moved on in life, not realizing that he was always helping her through crucial moments secretly. Then Bon's life gets in danger because of anti-social elements. He goes to her, saves her life and declares his love for her. And once again join hands with each other to set the society right.
You know, something like that...

Why adult bon love is problematic & why can't ani bon reunite ?

Can u elaborate on this ?

Originally posted by: Fruitcustard_9

Why adult bon love is problematic & why can't ani bon reunite ?

Can u elaborate on this ?

Try to read more about the teenage mind as well as the concept of grooming. Also, you need a bit of experience with life to understand why this is problematic. The present track is not simply a love story between an adult Ani and adult Bon. This "adult Bon" is actually a teenager, well below the age of 25 (25 is the age when a human brain finally attains maturity) who is in love with a father/brother/teacher figure, way more older than her. While age difference is not a much big deal post 25---for eg., it is totally fine for a 30 year old and 40 year old to hook up, it is not like that in the present case. Anirudh's character is supposed to be a mature guy who should have a deep understanding of this and why a romantic relationship between them is problematic. That this "love" is actually grooming. Just think of a scenario where child-Bon was married to child-Batuk (Ani's younger bro) and not Ani. Ani would have shown exactly the same care and consideration and helped her exactly the same way as they have shown in the show, and yet, Bon wouldn't have ever considered Ani as a potential mate.

In a realistic scenario, a person like Ani will NEVER look at teenage Bon that way. Heck, even Bon wouldn't have looked at him that way once she matures. Her crush for Ani would have gradually waned away because he is essentially a parent figure. But even if they had to show a love story, it should have been slow and gradual. Such problematic troupes are excessively normalized by Indian shows and very well received by audience large because it is often wrapped up in soulful background music with handsome and pretty actors in high voltage drama.