Originally posted by: Raingoddess
I don’t know if I was the only one, but I didn’t particularly like how Raavi described Shiva. The handsome part was okay. But she said jaisa uska naam, waisi uski seerat. It seemed so generic and something one would say in a marriage ad or when someone comes with a rishta.
I’m not married but I don’t know how many women would describe their husband like that. I understand what the dialogue is trying to say. In the end, being a man of good character is super important and it hints towards the concept of inner beauty. I just didn’t think the dialogue was well written and realistic. Didn’t seem like how one would describe one’s partner to college friends.
Having said that, I do believe it gives us an insight as to how Raavi views this marriage vs how Shiva does. I read a few comments in the last few pages that bring up this discussion. Adding to that, I think Raavi is happy being a Pandya Bahu which makes sense because that was her childhood dream. Dev was the best way of getting there. Her only option. She never imagined a different possibility. I think this is why if Shiva shows any form of kindness, Raavi is happy and doesn’t need anything else. She’s content with that.
The way she views her marriage is pretty much similar to how many of the women in the generations past have viewed their marriage (not all - there were some amazing women in my family who broke this illusion). Raavi has always cared for and loved Shiva in her own way. Now he’s her husband and she cares for him because they share a relationship. But that’s where it ends. He has a good character and if he’s kind to her, what else could she need. Her life is set. We see no other goals for her. The only issue is Shiva’s behavior but even that she’s used to from their childhood. She never really goes beyond that and it fits into her little world because it doesn’t require change. I wonder if that’s another reason why she wanted to marry Dev. He’s a package in the eyes of society and doesn’t involve himself in complicated emotions. She could happily be part of the family and not have to confront any of the messy stuff.
When it comes to Raavi, there is an emotional detachment. She avoids having to dealing with anything too intense (hence her not reflecting on the humiliation) and moves on (in her mind) by being bubbly the next second. This is why she never really sits down to think about exactly what is going through his mind. She just says it on the outside (why are you doing this, etc…) and moves on.
I know it’s not her responsibility alone to help him overcome his insecurities but if she wants to continue this relationship in a healthy manner, it’s important to understand where things are going wrong. And to get the help they need. I really wish the writers would help us understand Raavi better. This is all just me guessing based on what we see. Raavi is happy being a Pandya and if it were up to her, she would just let things go as is as long as Shiva can do the bare minimum.
But Shiva on the other hand, wants so much more. He wants a real relationship. Not what Raavi had planned for herself and Dev. He wants her attention, her acceptance and all those little moments that ensure that a couple go beyond just husband wife on paper.
Shiva has grown up watching GauRa. And Shiva is not dumb. He knows the passion his brother and bhabhi share. Not to compare the two couples but a lot of Shiva’s ideas do come from seeing a couple who share love, passion and a healthy relationship. They go beyond being husband and wife and are very openly affectionate. Dhara and Gaumbi may have started as the couple who fall in love after being married but they do represent a newer generation of couples who are openly affectionate despite being married for a longer period of time. They communicate and work on their relationship. They don’t take it for granted (no “we are married and that’s all that matters” kinda mentality) and make the effort to make the other person feel loved. I see such couples amongst my married friends or older cousins while my parents would fall into the “we are married and that’s all that counts” kinda couples. Both are unique in their own ways. But GauRa are def the former.
For example, if Dhara was to get up at night and pester Gaumbi for icecream, he might act like an older bro and tell her no but eventually the hubby in him will give in. They will go out for icecream but chances are it will become a date. They will be playful with one another and actually have lots of fun. They might even share an emotional conversation. Overall, a fulfilling night between two individuals. We saw something similar with Gaumbi and his nighttime snack. It’s a fulfilling relationship that goes beyond “he’s my husband” and “she’s my wife”. They aren’t just spouses but are almost like siblings, parental figures for each other, companions, best friends, lovers, and two individuals. All this comes together to define their relationship.
They weren’t always like this of course… they grew into it. This is where the biggest difference lies. The dynamic between ShiVi is so explosive that Shiva wants this now! But in their own way! He wants her to reciprocate his touches, give him the attention he wants, and go beyond being just his wife. For him, it’s all or nothing. And I understand where he is coming from.
For Shiva, it’s important for Raavi to want him. Physically and emotionally. For her to keep aside their legal and societal relationship and indulge in other aspects. That for him is a real relationship and he’s not wrong. Who doesn’t want a fulfilling relationship?
Not sure where I really went with this but I feel like both of them have a long way to go in terms of understanding their own emotions and each other’s. What is it that they truly want from this relationship? And if they don’t want the same thing, they should reconsider their relationship? Otherwise the misunderstandings will keep happening and resentment/bitterness will grow. Too bad ITV rarely indulges in heart to hearts. These two need that and counseling honestly.
Raavi has to realize that Shiva isn’t Dev. He won’t happily go along with her bubble. Weirdly enough, I feel like that’s what Dev wants from Rishita. He doesn’t want to confront any issues and is happy as long as they are living the role of husband and wife. Yikes!
Cricket
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
