Anokhi Name change issue

Changing one's name after marriage is very personal decision. Some might be ok to change name and others might not find it necessary. I choose to change my name after marriage and adopt the surname of my new family. I don't believe your last name is what defines you. Yes it is part of your identity and so is all your relations. When you build new relationships your identity is also changing or at least these relations are also adding on to your identity.

For Anokhi also the choice should be hers but I am confused why all of a sudden she is having issue with this. After maang main sindoor wali marriage she was quite happy to be called Mrs Anokhi Shaurya Saberwal. So why is she having issue now? Am I missing something?

Originally posted by: PriyankaITV83

Changing one's name after marriage is very personal decision. Some might be ok to change name and others might not find it necessary. I choose to change my name after marriage and adopt the surname of my new family. I don't believe your last name is what defines you. Yes it is part of your identity and so is all your relations. When you build new relationships your identity is also changing or at least these relations are also adding on to your identity.

For Anokhi also the choice should be hers but I am confused why all of a sudden she is having issue with this. After maang main sindoor wali marriage she was quite happy to be called Mrs Anokhi Shaurya Saberwal. So why is she having issue now? Am I missing something?

It’s one thing to accept the name change and a whole another thing to have it legally changed in all the documents. One might feel like its erasing their previous identity. They might relate themselves strongly with their name. Just like Anokhi.. when she says “ Mein Anokhi hoon”! Her Bhalla surname might not be something she is proud of given the history with her dad, but she’s come to accept that if not for her dad’s insistence on getting her married, she wouldn’t have maybe rebelled and come this far.

Like you mentioned it’s totally a personal choice. She can choose to be addressed as Anokhi Shaurya Sabherwal but is the legal name change necessary? Nope. Not unless she wants to! It should never be something forced upon , be it man or a woman.

I didn’t change my last name as well after marriage but I use my husband’s last name for all informal / non-legal purposes.

Men are never put thru this, and why is that? At the end of it all, we need to realize that all of us are humans sharing the same feelings and emotions before the genders come into picture. These notions of society need to be questioned or at the least discussed.

All the fuss around name change is really stupid..Anokhi needs to choose her battles she has more important things to fight for; the makers are going ott with the empowerment track name changing isnt that big of a deal..I think some things u do for love to make the person you love happy ..and changing name doesn't erase your identity..you are what u are no matter what Ur surname is .

It is a sensitive issue for sure. A lot of it depends on how you think about it .It is indeed a personal choice. Anokhi’s character has been very inconsistent probably due to all the challenges show had to face. She actually seemed offended/ surprised when Shaurya called her Ms Bhalla instead of Mrs Shaurya Saberwal. during the conference in Delhi

Anokhi comes from a regressive family so she is very scared of losing her identity in patriarchal society. She fights or resists any situation that requires her to change or compromise. I was always like this is no excuse, people change because they need to and they have to. She has to find a middle ground to change her mindset to “us” without losing her essence. I remember a scene from a show where the FL says that a couple are like sugar and water, when you mix them, you get sugar water. There is no sugar and there is no water but both retain their initial qualities/ essence and enhance each other.

Interestingly Sab family did bring up this issue because they knew she would fight back and create discord in couple’s marital relationship. They are indeed using this to dilute her identity

Shaurya might see this as an extension of their love/commitment and their Haq on each other. When Anokhi denies it, he might feel that she is choosing her identity over their love. She is still thinking “me” over “us”. In fact in Shaurya’s shoes anyone would think that way. That would bring all his abandonment issues back again.

Realistically speaking it is a common practice in India and you have practical challenges when you do not change your name sometimes though the society is changing pretty fast.

See I also felt it was somewhat not expected since she always considered herself Anokhi not Bhalla not Sabherwal.. But somewhere that new Bhalla college thing is why she feels attached to the surname I think..

I really liked ur take on it...

Depends on pov of each person abt name chng n how u percieve it...

4 anokhi who has a dream of opening bhalla institute getng her identity of bhalla remvd 4m all legal docs was like a trigger

She mite not have objection of being called Mrs Anokhi Shaurya Sabharwal bt erasing her bhalla name 4m her pre marriage docs may be shez not liking it...(i wudnt too)

N u talking abt legal probs i faced dis...i retained my maiden surname whn had to renew my passport(10 yrs back) i was asked to give in writing d reason 4 doing so...though i was issued d new psprt wid maiden surname bt deftly had to explain y...cz its quite common in india to chng surname afta marriage my mom did too bt i dint 😁😜

Now times r changing ppl retain maiden surname or keep both surnames or adopt new surname...it shudnt be a problem as long as its d choice of d gurl herself...

So i feel let anokhi decide what she wants n it shudnt be judged as a parameter of her love for shaurya ❤

PS : btw it was my mil who suggested i shudnt chng my surname cz its a big hassle to mke chnges in al docs n plus islamically it wasnt a need too 😉 so whn me n my husband eva have arguments on anythng i use it as a tool 🤣 " ya ya i was neva welcomed in d family dats y din lemme adopt ur surname " 🤣🤣 (i like my maiden surname more tho n wudnt have chngd myself 😁 bt got a brownie point whn instd of me d idea was put forth by mil) 😉

Originally posted by: FarSay

I really liked ur take on it...

Depends on pov of each person abt name chng n how u percieve it...

4 anokhi who has a dream of opening bhalla institute getng her identity of bhalla remvd 4m all legal docs was like a trigger

She mite not have objection of being called Mrs Anokhi Shaurya Sabharwal bt erasing her bhalla name 4m her pre marriage docs may be shez not liking it...(i wudnt too)

N u talking abt legal probs i faced dis...i retained my maiden surname whn had to renew my passport(10 yrs back) i was asked to give in writing d reason 4 doing so...though i was issued d new psprt wid maiden surname bt deftly had to explain y...cz its quite common in india to chng surname afta marriage my mom did too bt i dint 😁😜

Now times r changing ppl retain maiden surname or keep both surnames or adopt new surname...it shudnt be a problem as long as its d choice of d gurl herself...

So i feel let anokhi decide what she wants n it shudnt be judged as a parameter of her love for shaurya ❤

PS : btw it was my mil who suggested i shudnt chng my surname cz its a big hassle to mke chnges in al docs n plus islamically it wasnt a need too 😉 so whn me n my husband eva have arguments on anythng i use it as a tool 🤣 " ya ya i was neva welcomed in d family dats y din lemme adopt ur surname " 🤣🤣 (i like my maiden surname more tho n wudnt have chngd myself 😁 bt got a brownie point whn instd of me d idea was put forth by mil) 😉

I did not change my name either but because the issue never came up with my in- laws though frankly I don’t think I would have cared… maybe it is social conditioning or maybe it is my strong belief that name does not define you. “ Call rose by any name…”, it is a part of your identity not your total essence.

However I have come across odd situation like getting allocated a different seat from rest of my family in aircraft. Or my kid’s friend innocently asking if I am separated/ divorced or bank officials giving me a look when opening joint accounts. There are days when I wish I had changed my name.

On a different note why does Anokhi want Bhalla institute and not Bhalla- Saberwal institute? She is willing to celebrate her identity as a member of Bhalla family but not Saberwal family?

Anokhi is becoming a bit tiring with her dreams, and hammering the point home. Standing your ground is ok if it is against your principles, but what's in a name, She could have proposed keeping both rather than intimidating it as a stamp.

At the end of the day, it looks like I am willing to be with Shaurya, but does not want his name or his money. She is going about it the wrong way.

At the same time she is behaving like a servant in the morning 😲, Too much inconsistencies...

Originally posted by: rumi_dee

It’s one thing to accept the name change and a whole another thing to have it legally changed in all the documents. One might feel like its erasing their previous identity. They might relate themselves strongly with their name. Just like Anokhi.. when she says “ Mein Anokhi hoon”! Her Bhalla surname might not be something she is proud of given the history with her dad, but she’s come to accept that if not for her dad’s insistence on getting her married, she wouldn’t have maybe rebelled and come this far.

Like you mentioned it’s totally a personal choice. She can choose to be addressed as Anokhi Shaurya Sabherwal but is the legal name change necessary? Nope. Not unless she wants to! It should never be something forced upon , be it man or a woman.

I didn’t change my last name as well after marriage but I use my husband’s last name for all informal / non-legal purposes.

Men are never put thru this, and why is that? At the end of it all, we need to realize that all of us are humans sharing the same feelings and emotions before the genders come into picture. These notions of society need to be questioned or at the least discussed.

💯 And I am about 40 and only gal in my generation not to change my surname. This is one thing I was very clear even before marriage. It is my identity and professionally also I was known by that name. It's not such a big deal here in Karnataka. And many friends and my sis have added the married surname.

Yes my baby has husband surname

Originally posted by: FarSay

I really liked ur take on it...

Depends on pov of each person abt name chng n how u percieve it...

4 anokhi who has a dream of opening bhalla institute getng her identity of bhalla remvd 4m all legal docs was like a trigger

She mite not have objection of being called Mrs Anokhi Shaurya Sabharwal bt erasing her bhalla name 4m her pre marriage docs may be shez not liking it...(i wudnt too)

N u talking abt legal probs i faced dis...i retained my maiden surname whn had to renew my passport(10 yrs back) i was asked to give in writing d reason 4 doing so...though i was issued d new psprt wid maiden surname bt deftly had to explain y...cz its quite common in india to chng surname afta marriage my mom did too bt i dint 😁😜

Now times r changing ppl retain maiden surname or keep both surnames or adopt new surname...it shudnt be a problem as long as its d choice of d gurl herself...

So i feel let anokhi decide what she wants n it shudnt be judged as a parameter of her love for shaurya ❤

PS : btw it was my mil who suggested i shudnt chng my surname cz its a big hassle to mke chnges in al docs n plus islamically it wasnt a need too 😉 so whn me n my husband eva have arguments on anythng i use it as a tool 🤣 " ya ya i was neva welcomed in d family dats y din lemme adopt ur surname " 🤣🤣 (i like my maiden surname more tho n wudnt have chngd myself 😁 bt got a brownie point whn instd of me d idea was put forth by mil) 😉

Interesting.. I also changed my name 3 years after marriage when I got pregnant as I felt it will be confusing for the child to have different last name for parents. 😆