Part 1
I would like to give a disclaimer that here Pallavi too has had certain feelings for Mandaar since they had spent time together , and had gotten closer to him aswell as in my story Mandaar died 2.5 months after their wedding and the courtship they shared was of 1.5 years before getting married.
Raghav , too had an ex Anjali , has not been so keen on ONS , yet has had his share of history too .
Now that Pallavi and Raghav are slowly getting closer to each other , Raghav always wondered if she had knowledge of things hence acted a certain way or was it because of experiences in the past. He could never decipher how easily she moulded herself into the role of a wife and easily guided him on days he was lost.
She taught him hoe to fight battles with honesty , yet encouraged him to explore the layers of vulnerablility within his own heart.
He knows she holds the capacity to bring him on his knees if needed , for he wouldnt mind begging her to stay back if that was all it took for him to do. He knew she was way to precious to lose and deep down he felt she knew the fear of losing her possessed by him.
She had observed her first Vatt Savitri for him , yet the shards of his guilt are fresh.He also has a pang of jealousy that if Mandar was alive , he would have had to see her creating her own haven with someome else. His insecurities of being the worst and not deserving her love are the stabs that wont stop hurting.
In the bedroom , Raghav sipping coffee prepared by biwi , which she had made for herself but pati couldn't resist indulging himself with it.
Pallavi had a busy day and wanted to unwind with a cup of coffee , she decided to get freshend up and then relax. She entered their room and went to grab her cup only to realize pati is mindlessly sipping on it.
Pallavi: Raghav , jab mene tumhe pucha tha tab toh tumne mana kardiya aur ab toh ese peete bethe ho jese tumhe iske bagair neend nahi ayegi.
He nodded at her and kept sipping. She realized something was off.
She went closer to him and sat opposite to him kn the bed.
Pallavi: Tumne maunvrat kabse rakhliya? Oh hello kaha khoye hue ho?
Raghav: Tumko chahiye ek cup toh Reddy ko boldo. Ab pls apna bhaashan band kro.
She realized he was pissed off so didnot continue questioning further , but instead gently took the cup from his hand and kept it aside. She gently held his hand in both of hers and looked straight into his eyes.
Pallavi: Mein jaanti hu Raghav ki tum mujhse kuch chupa rahe ho. Biwi hu tumhari. Dekh rahi hun kis tarah se pareshaan rehte ho tum aajkal. Phir bhi me tumhe waqt de rahi hu . Samajh sakti hu tumhare liye kitna mushkil hain , magar Raghav koi bhi baat zyada der tak chipaane se sirf bojh badhjaata hai. Aur kabhi kabhi hum us bojh ke tale khudko kho dete hai aur shayad dheere dheere humare aas paas ke logo se bhi door hone lagte hai.
She started to leave , but he grabbed her wrist and made her sit back , this time closer to him.
Raghav: Tum mere ek sawal ka jawab do. Kya tum Mandar ko chahta tha , kya tum sachme dilse usko apna pati maanta tha? Kya tum..(he couldnt get the rest of the words out of his mouth)
One look at his restless state and fearful eyes , she knee there was something off this time. Especially something related to Mandaar. She was quite used fo him calling Mandaar her ex-husband instead . While it may sound insensitive , he had never enquired about Mandar either. She knew she had to uncover a few truths, but before that she had to take care of this man ahead of her whose rapid heartbeats and tearful eyes haunt her soul.
Pallavi: Aree baba , ek sawal kehke kitna puch liya..chalo firbhi bata hi deti hu.
Mein aur mandaar 1.5 saal se ek dusre ko jaante the shaadi se pehle. Humne kaafi wakt saath bitaya aur kaafi gehri dosti bhi thi humari. Haan me pasand karti thi unhe.Jab humari shaadi hu tab bhi hum kaafi kareeb the. Un chand dino me hume zyada yaadein toh nahi banane mili magar , itna zaroor keh sakti hu ki shayad agar wo zinda hote toh aaj mein unhe apna pati maanti aur unki lambi umar ki pooja karti. Magar kismat me jo likha ho use toh badal nahi sakte. Shadi ke 2.5 mahine me wo chale gaye , aur me toot si gayi. Ek khoobsurat rishta tha humara. Me unhi ki wajah se toh Pallavi Sawant se Pallavi Deshmukh bani thi. Ghar ke bete ke jaane ke baad , mene har koshish ki sab sambhalne. Unki kami khalti thi. Kuch zakhmo ko bharne wakt lagta hai.. Ab mujhe nahi pata tha ki tum aoge mere zindagi me , aur ab cheeze alag hain.
She felt his grip on her hand loosen and his eyes conflicted with emotions.
She gently rubbed her thumb on the back of his palm , lifted his chin and made him look at her and said:
Raghav ateet sabka hota hai. Chahe wo tum ho ya mein. Kuch log hume zindagi me kafi kuch sikha jaate hai magar wo humare saath nahi reh paate. Kuch rishte sirf kuch waqt ke saathi hote hain. Hum oon ki dhaage ki tarah ulaj se jaate hain unme. Magar humara aaj bhi utna hi zaroori hai. Mana ki mujhe mere ateet se lagaav hai. Uska ye matlab nahi ki mera aaj mere liye mayne nahi rakhta. Mera aaj tum ho Raghav. Mene vrat tumhare liye rakha. Mein sindoor tumhare naam ka lagati hu. Biwi hu tumhari aur tum ho mere pati.
Me kahi nahi jaa rahi tumhe chodkar .
At this point Raghav had tears streaming down his face.Such was a plight of a conflicted soul. He found himself so lost. The lines of black and white had long gone but grey had started to suffocate him. He needed his light , but he also wished to hide himself away..
She gently pulled him towards herself and engulfed him in a hug , one hand caressing his back and other hand running through his hair.
She knew that tonight , all he needed was strength. And she would let him know something...
To be continued.
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