Hi babes and non babes, i am sorry for disappearing and I'm not even back totally, I will be inconsistent but I am perfectly fine. I am in vaccination duties and its kinda hectic, so hardly get time, but I do watch the show in fast forward mode, nd after writing thoda thoda everyday I have a super little piece. I hope you will like it.
Love you. Be safe. Get jabbed. And love RaghVi.
Raghav :
There are things I can confess only after Drowning myself in glasses of whiskey. How I tripped the world on my feet and how I crushed anyone who dared to speak. These hands that are used to violence and signing deals. These hands, once adorned by the rakhis my sister tied and threads my mother believed would keep me safe, decade passed and its all replaced by a shining watch, probably the costliest in Hyderabad but the cheapest in my eyes. These lips, habitual of rolling R and R, threatening. Men like me are called goons and are thought merciless, men like me are supposed criminals, pathetic and despised, believed to be inhuman and brutal, I, who break homes and hopes of people. This body that toned itself, lifting weights, but only loved dancing, behind the closed doors, angry and mad, god knows for what. These legs that kept walking until they reached where they wanted to be. These eyes hiding behind the glasses. How deep was the longing to be nothing but understood? How hard was it to look at me and understand how empty I am like the bottle thrown in the trash. I was not the perfect complete happy go lucky, the perfect bachelor in the town they made me look like. At times i really thought why the girls like me so much? I have nothing I can give them.. Nothing. I am shallow and hollow nd my heart is buried in a deep place, I don't look for it anymore.
Days, months, years, passing through the window like the squirrel. Where I stand, with my only constant, the glass half filled, drinking away my sorrows. My mind takes me back to her, probably the most beautiful pair of eyes I've ever seen. She has them. My mind would warn me to be alert and not trust the innocence my deep buried heart could sense. Was I capable of hurting a woman to that extent? I had asked myself millions of time after I burnt down her sarees and tied her up in the middle of the road. I stayed away from women in general, no offence, I had nothing I can offer them, except money, and for that I had my ways. But this particular woman with long black perfumed hair, how can I not keep myself away from her? Why was it so hard to be ignored? I would look at her with hatred and I will do things to her I generally avoided. Sometimes it's the jasmine that reminds me of her out of the blue, other times it's the deafening silence that makes me want to shout or hear her baseless arguments. She has this weird habit of caring for you even when you specifically want to do nothing but hurt her. There happened a lot less than loathe and a lot more than love between us. Over months. I claimed to not care for her, claimed her as a trophy wife won in the battle between my mother and sisters' love and her helplessness but I, I had placed myself on her feet long ago, without acknowledging, she never trampled me. We had a bargain, one of the numerous challenges I had with her and at the end of it she wished to keep me, but she didn't want to love me.She wished to give me nothing but that I should give her my all. I kept pining for her and she kept declining my advances. And then on one of the nights like this, I begged her to love me, drowned in my whiskey, I begged her for my share of right as a husband that she had kept away from me, I was too scared to use the word 'love' what if she decided leaving me in that instant. Her eyes were unreadable, unsure but she walked towards me and embraced me. She kissed me and when they ask you, tell them it was the closest I came to love, the closest ever because in the morning she woke up and rushed to shower before looking at me. Before smiling. That's the only faint memory I have of the love I shared with her, if at all. She would lie next to me everyday and she would sleep with me, never looking at me directly. We had sex, we never made love, because a man like me, well a man like me was not worthy of love. Albeit broken, I had made pact with my life, even if the love is one sided, at least she's with me. I will never tell her my feelings. I will never let her go away.
"Anna" I heard Farhad knock on the door and turned back.
"What?"
"Are you not having the dinner?" He asked, concerned
"Is my wife home? Can you tell her I am looking for her?" I said avoiding the question. He nodded and left.
I have seen her enter the mansion, I have seen her scooty parked. I looked at the clock and it was past 10. Is she not going back?
"Are you drunk again?" She chuckled, closing the door beside her.
"Just started" I smirked, knowing it will irk her.
"I warned you, if you want to drink get your ass down to the bar, spare my bedroom" she said pissed
"I thought you wouldn't come back, I thought now since your.. your ex husband is back.." I started but couldn't complete my sentence.
"So? Do you disown me because he's back? Is that why you were looking for me?"
"No, I meant, I mean amma told me you are at Deshmukh's for tonight" I said taking another sip, not looking at her.
"I planned to, but.."
"But you missed me?" I winked at her, in a flirty way. She gave me one of her famous dead glares.
"You couldn't sleep without fking me right?" I walked towards her in an attempt to pull her closer
"No, I am not having sex with you, not anymore" she flared her nose, in a disgusted way.
"What?"
"I don't think I can do this anymore" she said her gaze fixed to the floor..
"Why?" My voice was low
"I.. I can't have.. I told you when we started.. I told you this is the rule none of us are allowed to fall in love.. and one of us broke the rule" she completed, and I took a step back, guilty of the pleasure of loving her. I looked at her in pain and did my last attempt.
"Have you lost it? I am not in love with you, you must be delusional Pallavi Rao, I have better things to do" I scoffed, masking away my insecurities.
"I know" she immediately followed "Isn't that what I said? One of us broke the rule and it isn't you"
Note : i wanted to make it a sad one but I can't lol 😂 so I decided to stop it at cliff. Sorry. 🐕
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
