Pandya Store|Episode Discussion Thread #9 - Page 101

Originally posted by: Felicie

At this point, I'm convinced someone murdered Dhara and it's Kesar chudail the vengeful saas from 1970 walking around in her body.

Dil ko behlane ke liye ghalib, ye khayal accha hai🤣🤣

The Curious Case of Badly Raised Men and The two outsiders.

I am not going to go too much into detail about anything else but primarily the stealthiness of the food eating scene while the outsiders Raavi and Rishita stand looking at their respective husbands hogging the food.

This scene was supposed to be funny and cute, but I found it deeply problematic. How?

1. These are men who took vows at the wedding altar. One of the seven vows in marriage is that ‘The man shall provide for the women's food, safety and clothing.’

So, while these men were gobbling foods, where was their exact concern about the respective women in their lives? Apparently, Raavi didn't want to cook, that means she must be hungry too. Why didn't the thought of Raavi being hungry too cross Shiva even for humanity sake. He does take care of her crying, not hurting her etc. Where is the concern now?

2. Gautam didn't even ask once while their brothers ate that whether the women have eaten or not?

People might call this familial bond, but I find it problematic. Marriage is not a transactional bond, but it changes people. Where is the inclusivity of the women in their life?

The men haven't been around women apart from Dhara or Suman, majorly Dhara. Their lives have revolved around her, and that's deeply problematic. They are badly raised not only by Dhara but Gautam too. We all blame Dhara, but Gautam has to take equal responsibility for such overindulgence in a family that these men don't know what an outsider may perhaps mean to them.

Their benchmark of an ideal woman is Dhara, and they want nothing more than her. Apart from physical intimacy, this one woman is a provider and the enabler of all forms of their emotional, social, and comfort needs.

Is this okay?

No, it's profoundly problematic.

How could it have been more different?

Every child has mild oedipal synergies where the mother becomes the object of extreme attachment. As kids grow, they slowly figure out the world and branch out. Mothers who raise their kids adequately, they do the following things:

1. Cutting down on emotional dependency by coaxing them to make friends and letting the male parent assume a friendship deeper than hers.

2. Also, cutting down on the physical dependency by letting them do their chores, stop being the go-to person for every food requirements.

3. Also, teaching them respect for other women who will ultimately enter their lives.

Households that flourish are based on women stepping back from their responsibilities and letting other relationships grow better. In most families where mothers don't step back, the new woman is frustrated; men don't grow up ever, and the women in their lives lead a half-fulfilled life.

Now imagine this scenario where a woman compares her husband constantly with a male parental figure or brother in her life? Won't it be not very pleasant for a man always to try and match up to the standards of a man unrelated to his personality?

A woman has run a household a certain way, let others also breathe and start a world of their own. It's like telling two people that you will have to comply with a new life with you not being the centre of the universe of your husbands.

It's very unfair for these new ones. The women are confined to the needs of the bedroom, and for everything else, you have Dhara. It's bizarre as hell!

I will share this one incident from a family I knew. The FIL told the new bahu that she needs to learn from her MILfor running the family and sacrifice. I still remember the statement of the MIL. ‘I have run my family and lived with my husband in my way. Let her run her family and live with her husband her way now.’

That's what people should do.

Originally posted by: ItsmePriya

I would love to see these on the show

Since there is shortage of rooms in their house, i would prefer each couple can rent a small house in the locality. Suman can stay with each of them on rotation. they can still work together and divide the income.

The girls can also start something on their own. I remember in OG meena was a teacher i guess.

They will all be united still. they will also get their privacy and no constant bhabhima dictatorship. Joint family doesnt mean to live in same house.

They can all meet over weekends and have fun, discuss their family happenings...thats real bonding

2021 mein hein ham sab...1970 drama going on

TauNts for dressing sense, mayka sasural nonsense 🤢 The family is becoming toxic

I hope trps go down for all nonsense that happpened this week but wont be surprised if we enter 2+ trp because this week was all drama unlimited🤢

But the whole point of this show is joint family 🙈 So going their separate ways would completely defeat the purpose.

Adjusting a joint family requires a lot of effort. It’s definitely not easy, fights will crop up everyday.

There are definitely peaks in this show like Raavi’s outburst after the kidnapping, Dhara’s with the danda. But the scenes that come after are ♥️ Shiva lifting Raavi on to the bed, Shiva and Krish outside Dhara’s room.

I don’t know. Might be an unpopular opinion but I love where things are heading. I usually lose interest in shows after 50 episodes or so. But PS is so beautiful, I can’t afford to even miss a day. ♥️

Originally posted by: raindropsroses

But the whole point of this show is joint family 🙈 So going their separate ways would completely defeat the purpose.

Adjusting a joint family requires a lot of effort. It’s definitely not easy, fights will crop up everyday.

There are definitely peaks in this show like Raavi’s outburst after the kidnapping, Dhara’s with the danda. But the scenes that come after are ♥️ Shiva lifting Raavi on to the bed, Shiva and Krish outside Dhara’s room.

I don’t know. Might be an unpopular opinion but I love where things are heading. I usually lose interest in shows after 50 episodes or so. But PS is so beautiful, I can’t afford to even miss a day. ♥️

Ya agreed, maybe too much drama is making it little irritating for me. But i have still not felt the urge to leave the show. Also would love if cvs are aware of the pace in which they go...there seems to so mucj mismatch

Also i felt the editing was bad in the suman welcome scene...the hugs were cut...there was no proper mami raavi milan..it was too fast paced

After a week of dragfest..today's episode suddenly picked up speed

Frankly, it looks like these men have no space for women in their lives, including Dev, who seems to have a love marriage. It seems like he wasn't ready for this woman to enter their lives at all.

They are all living in a happy bubble, and the new ones have disrupted it. It's insanely problematic.

I can understand Shiva and his aloofness towards the inclusion of Raavi in his life. He did try once but got poorly rejected. It's okay for him not to be comfortable for a while, but what about Dev?

It will take a long while for Shiva to realise that he needs someone else apart from Dhara. Every man does or else marriage or opposite gender companionship wouldn't even exist.

Originally posted by: Transference

Frankly, it looks like these men have no space for women in their lives, including Dev, who seems to have a love marriage. It seems like he wasn't ready for this woman to enter their lives at all.

They are all living in a happy bubble, and the new ones have disrupted it. It's insanely problematic.

I can understand Shiva and his aloofness towards the inclusion of Raavi in his life. He did try once but got poorly rejected. It's okay for him not to be comfortable for a while, but what about Dev?

It will take a long while for Shiva to realise that he needs someone else apart from Dhara. Every man does or else marriage or opposite gender companionship wouldn't even exist.

Also, Shiva wasn’t even mentally prepared for marriage, it was shoved on to him. So it will be difficult for him to accept an woman in his life just like that, despite that he’s doing an okay job.

But I don’t know, I think joint families work out for three reasons, one, everyone is so dependent on the head (like the sons don’t have any source of income and hence their families are forced to stay under the father’s house). Second reason is when someone rules with a tight fist, not letting anyone leave. Third reason is that each person loves the other unconditionally. I haven’t seen this happen, but I like to think that that’s the case here.

And when Rishita and Alice are ready, they’ll automatically jump into that “hug”. No one asked Krish or Shiva to join in right? Just like that there will come a point when Raavi and Rishita don’t need to be invited

Originally posted by: Nups_mish

I still cannot fathom what kind of a person Dev is - he did not even say a single thank you, forget thank you, he did not even acknowledge that Rishita cooked for him, even though she almost had a panic attack the night before. Instead of that Mr. Dev goes and shamelessly eats the parathas that his bhabhi made!! Why did he not go into the kitchen and make some nice hot tea for his wife so that she feels better? And this guy has the nerve to say "Tumhe toh pata hai mai bread nahi khata, blah blah"

Trust me if I were in Rishita's place and my husband does this, I will say straight to his face "Khudka khana khud bana le"! This ungrateful behavior is beyond my normal tolerance threshold

Dev has to learn basic manners and words “like thank you and sorry”and more importantly USE them.😏 “thank you Rishita” “Sorry Raavi & Shiva”

Originally posted by: raindropsroses

But the whole point of this show is joint family 🙈 So going their separate ways would completely defeat the purpose.

Adjusting a joint family requires a lot of effort. It’s definitely not easy, fights will crop up everyday.

There are definitely peaks in this show like Raavi’s outburst after the kidnapping, Dhara’s with the danda. But the scenes that come after are ♥️ Shiva lifting Raavi on to the bed, Shiva and Krish outside Dhara’s room.

I don’t know. Might be an unpopular opinion but I love where things are heading. I usually lose interest in shows after 50 episodes or so. But PS is so beautiful, I can’t afford to even miss a day. ♥️

@bold, I have to agree and disagree with you there. Raavi's outburst made proper sense at the time and quite honestly was shown very beautifully. You have a newly wed woman who has still not come to terms with her marriage. She married a man she has never liked in a romantic sense and a man who has very openly showed his hatred to her. Her believing Shiva "abandoned" her was very believable as he wasn't there at the time he should be, and he never made the effort to clarify what he was doing. The scene were she is yelling at him and very nearly hit him also is very, very believable. This is a woman in peak frustration but Dhara stopped her from committing a mistake. If Raavi hit Shiva that day, their relationship would be very different. So, when you pair all that high voltage drama (which is very believable and realistic), with the softer scene of Shiva carrying her into their bed, it really hits home and you realize that after pain comes love.

But Dhara's danda scene was written very differently. Shiva and Krish made a mistake. Their prank went overboard, especially considering how Rishita nearly could've gotten hurt. Yes, she is justified to yell at them, but hit? No way. Where was the Dhara that stopped Raavi from hitting Shiva? Or the Dhara that stopped Gaumbi from hitting his brothers? No amount of pressure cooker stress can justify the nonsense we were subjected to in episode 99. She not only hit them, but hit them repeatedly despite Krish crying out how much pain he is in. Even when the stick breaks, she continues to hit them. I agree, ShiSh's note scene was very adorable, but that scene could have been used even if Dhara gives them a silent treatment. It doesn't have to be after a hitting scene. And Dhara ripping those notes made me realize that Raavi's anger never went to the peaks that Dhara's anger has gone. As of now Dhara is not related at all, and if they stretch her character to be this, then they'll effectively ruined the "glue" of the Pandya household.

Originally posted by: raindropsroses

Also, Shiva wasn’t even mentally prepared for marriage, it was shoved on to him. So it will be difficult for him to accept an woman in his life just like that, despite that he’s doing an okay job.

But I don’t know, I think joint families work out for three reasons, one, everyone is so dependent on the head (like the sons don’t have any source of income and hence their families are forced to stay under the father’s house). Second reason is when someone rules with a tight fist, not letting anyone leave. Third reason is that each person loves the other unconditionally. I haven’t seen this happen, but I like to think that that’s the case here.

And when Rishita and Alice are ready, they’ll automatically jump into that “hug”. No one asked Krish or Shiva to join in right? Just like that there will come a point when Raavi and Rishita don’t need to be invited

I have no issues with Shiva and Raavi and the way they are progressing. Shiva, as explained in the previous episodes, is more or less Bairagi which implies his state of aloofness. I am talking about needs vs what they have now.

Regarding joint families, yes, the dynamics are complex, but some are very different from the portrayal here. Rishita and Raavi aren't included in the hug; that's perfectly fine. I don't have an issue with that. I have an issue with them being outsiders in their own relationships especially Rishita.