REAL LIFE reason of why I support Malini!

So this is anonymous forum and therefore I can share a personal case in my extended family which is similar to what Malini is going through. My maasi who was happily married to my mausa for over 30 years found that he was cheating on her with a girl he now claims to “love”. The pain of the victim is unbearable and I can never defend such behavior. It causes so much trauma for all involved, having witnessed it up close.

I would have supported imlie and aditya IF:

-If i was in imlie’s shoes and forcefully married. I would have checked myself in a school or an ngo to pursue my education goals right away. Specially knowing the guy i was FORCIBLY married to is already committed.

- if in aditya’s shoes I would have gone to the law and annulled the wedding with imlie RIGHT away. I would also have sponsored imlie’s education and got her admitted to a hostel.

- If i found out after sometime that I don’t really “like” my spouse like aditya seems to, i would have had the courtesy and balls, and respected her enough to divorce her first before going behind someone else/ third party.

If I was Imlie i would die a thousand times before eyeing a committed person in the wrong way and pining for him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. It would just kill me to do. Even if I secretly liked someone or crushed I would never admit it to him or to myself, because I would be too full of SHAME. I would remove myself from the situation COMPLETELY, and yea if theres a change in his marital status (like he divorced) without my involvement then and only then would I open myself up to him.

Originally posted by: sunshine333

So this is anonymous forum and therefore I can share a personal case in my extended family which is similar to what Malini is going through. My maasi who was happily married to my mausa for over 30 years found that he was cheating on her with a girl he now claims to “love”. The pain of the victim is unbearable and I can never defend such behavior. It causes so much trauma for all involved, having witnessed it up close.

I would have supported imlie and aditya IF:

-If i was in imlie’s shoes and forcefully married. I would have checked myself in a school or an ngo to pursue my education goals right away. Specially knowing the guy i was FORCIBLY married to is already committed.

- if in aditya’s shoes I would have gone to the law and annulled the wedding with imlie RIGHT away. I would also have sponsored imlie’s education and got her admitted to a hostel.

- If i found out after sometime that I don’t really “like” my spouse like aditya seems to, i would have had the courtesy and balls, and respected her enough to divorce her first before going behind someone else/ third party.

If I was Imlie i would die a thousand times before eyeing a committed person in the wrong way and pining for him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. It would just kill me to do. Even if I secretly liked someone or crushed I would never admit it to him or to myself, because I would be too full of SHAME. I would remove myself from the situation COMPLETELY, and yea if theres a change in his marital status (like he divorced) without my involvement then and only then would I open myself up to him.

So so true...the adilie scene today again showed how selfish these people are. Someone just tried to hurt herself because you too can't keep your hands off each other. I would say adi and imli both are being selfish and spineless.

it is not about your own life!!

it is just a story , remove whatever burden of your own relation and keep it aside to really understand the storytelling

if goes any way of what you suggest it will not be " IMLIE" show, it will be a totally different story.

yes in our life we see so much stories affected by a man with two women involves, me ,myself living an seeing what happens when a marriage breaks or a man take another women as a wife a neglect the other women, however who comes first or second, it hurt the neglect women so much no matter how maturely she handle the situation and how strongly face the situation of another snatching her man and live with them under the same roof! it affect her health by her silence! but after more than 30 years, we can see how her strong and sacrifice build a strong life for her kids, and kept the family together and even the other women kids respect her and she considering them as her own kids! yes she lived a hard life and get pain and affected her health but that did.t get waisted! that the very man who neglect her acknowledge her sacrifice, and the women who snatched her man from her now she cant held anything to her rather than respect to her !

so who snatch Adie from whom is debatable , I see Imlie as his First wife, you see Milani as his wife

whoever gets him it will hurt the other and a lot of ppl would be hurt too!

but time have the power to heal!

Originally posted by: Guiltyo0o

it is not about your own life!!

it is just a story , remove whatever burden of your own relation and keep it aside to really understand the storytelling

if goes any way of what you suggest it will not be " IMLIE" show, it will be a totally different story.

yes in our life we see so much stories affected by a man with two women involves, me ,myself living an seeing what happens when a marriage breaks or a man take another women as a wife a neglect the other women, however who comes first or second, it hurt the neglect women so much no matter how maturely she handle the situation and how strongly face the situation of another snatching her man and live with them under the same roof! it affect her health by her silence! but after more than 30 years, we can see how her strong and sacrifice build a strong life for her kids, and kept the family together and even the other women kids respect her and she considering them as her own kids! yes she lived a hard life and get pain and affected her health but that did.t get waisted! that the very man who neglect her acknowledge her sacrifice, and the women who snatched her man from her now she cant held anything to her rather than respect to her !

so who snatch Adie from whom is debatable , I see Imlie as his First wife, you see Milani as his wife

whoever gets him it will hurt the other and a lot of ppl would be hurt too!

but time have the power to heal!

No offense but you are being very insensitive and all that bcz of a stupid fictional show.

Anyone who has gone through something similar or seen something similar will find themselves relating it to the show. It's not humanly possible to separate the two things .

About you thinking Imlie is his first wife. Here the question isn't abt first wife or second wife. It's about cheating someone. Imlie always , always knew the truth. She decided to remain silent instead of claiming her rights when she should hv. But Malini never knew the truth .....never. so she is the one who was cheated by both her husband and the girl who is her step sister by the way.

Originally posted by: sunshine333

So this is anonymous forum and therefore I can share a personal case in my extended family which is similar to what Malini is going through. My maasi who was happily married to my mausa for over 30 years found that he was cheating on her with a girl he now claims to “love”. The pain of the victim is unbearable and I can never defend such behavior. It causes so much trauma for all involved, having witnessed it up close.

Firstly I am sorry that your aunt has to go through this ordeal. After 30 years of marriage, it must be a real hell.

But, I feel your personal experience is hindering you from looking a fictional story from a broader perspective and you are hung upon 'Malini being cheated'.

Now here, Aditya and Malini were dating for 7 years, mind you dating and being married are two very different things. Marriage is whole together another ball game, where you share your life, your time and all your responsibilities together. I know couples who were together for more than 10 years, but weren't able to sustain their marriage for even a year. Either one of them fell out of love or they realized their differences. It's not uncommon and its no ones fault. These days even Malini is also realizing obvious gaps in her and Aditya's relationship. What I feel is even if not for Imlie, they would have either separated in few years or would have lead unfulfilled life (This is my perception, you are free to ignore).

Infact, I feel Its good Aditya reached to this realization sooner, else few years down the line with other additional baggage of responsibilities, break up would have been way more hard on both.

I would have supported imlie and aditya IF:

-If i was in imlie’s shoes and forcefully married. I would have checked myself in a school or an ngo to pursue my education goals right away. Specially knowing the guy i was FORCIBLY married to is already committed. '

Now coming to this part,

I think the whole point of any show or story is that its NOT from your pov. It's written by someone else. How does it ,matter what you have done if you are in Imlie's shoes, because you are NOT.

Imlie's character is of a girl brought up in a regressive tribal village, who is fatherless and has seen her mother being called names because lack of that one legitimate relationship. Imlie has always been someone who has firm beliefs, in her roots, her rituals and her village. She never wanted to get married, but when faith threw her in that odd situation, she accepted that marriage, simply because that's how she was raised, with belief in sanctity of rituals ingrained in her.

You are expecting a bit too much from a 18 year old tribal girl, who hardly knows her way back home in the city. Isn't it?

About education, she is indeed pursuing he education, though she did neglected because of drama going around(which i am firmly against), but at the end she is pursuing her goals.

- if in aditya’s shoes I would have gone to the law and annulled the wedding with imlie RIGHT away. I would also have sponsored imlie’s education and got her admitted to a hostel.

I agree on this point completely!

- If i found out after sometime that I don’t really “like” my spouse like aditya seems to, i would have had the courtesy and balls, and respected her enough to divorce her first before going behind someone else/ third party.

I won't even defend Aditya again, but its not about liking, he isn't in love with her!

I have already written a lot about Aditya's dilemma's.. won't do a rehash here!

So if I was in shoes of Malini, i would have:

1) Firstly, If I had insecurities and strong fear about my fiance leaving me even after 7 years of relationship, I would have given it a serious thought instead of rushing into marriage.

2) I would never on the earth would have let my mother blatantly disrespecting and insulting the man I love and his family time and again just because she is being ' protective'. My stand wouldn't be lame ass, but firm because, like a Man is responsible for his wife's and her in law's dignity in front of his family, same goes for a woman too. Malini did failed here BIG TIME, and that was even before Aditya fell in love with Imlie.

3) I would not have conveniently let go a so called 'prank' played by my fiance, that is so out of character of him. I would have grilled him into confessing, instead of believing in what i want too. (Aditya is indeed wrong in hiding the truth, but but it was 100 percent driven by fragility of Malini, and that is not a casual or somethingto let go, as you guys take it to be).

4) If i had doubts on my husband having affair, with some other girl, then instead of taking my frustration out on some girl, just because i can, i would have firmly grilled and confronted my husband for it straight away, because he owes me the truth and no one else. It would kill me to crush the self worth of a bright 19 year old, by mocking her social status out of the blue, solely on the basis of suspicions.

5) I would have died thousand times before pathetically asking someone to say 'I love you to me', when i even had a inkling that he doesn't.

6)Lastly , I would have never gone for that suicide attempt over a guy. I would have rather confronted him and filed for separation. I would be too FULL of SHAME and REMORSE for my actions instead of coming back with him to his house after concocting bullsh*t story of affair and playing twisted games.

So, the point is I am NOT malini, a fictional character, so I won't judge her on the basis of what I would have done.

If I was Imlie i would die a thousand times before eyeing a committed person in the wrong way and pining for him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. It would just kill me to do. Even if I secretly liked someone or crushed I would never admit it to him or to myself, because I would be too full of SHAME. I would remove myself from the situation COMPLETELY, and yea if theres a change in his marital status (like he divorced) without my involvement then and only then would I open myself up to him.

I have said this tons of time, irrespective of what opinion we have about Adilie or Adini's marriage on the basis of our knowledge or belief, here Imlie did consider Aditya as her husband, since she married him in front of her village, with all rituals, simply, because she has been bought up that way. That is her truth. From her point of view, having feelings for her husband is not wrong, since she did consider Aditya as her husband as simple as that.(though she never acted upon them ).

My major issue with her is her idiotic attempts of stopping Aditya to reveal truth, because she fears loosing a family she never had. Understandable but not done!

Once again pining or not pining for a person, developing feelings for someone is NOT something in your control, unless you act on it. If you can control then good for you.

So lastly, the story isn't about you or me, so what we would have done is IMMATERIAL.

replies in bold

Originally posted by: DaffodilsNew

No offense but you are being very insensitive and all that bcz of a stupid fictional show.

Anyone who has gone through something similar or seen something similar will find themselves relating it to the show. It's not humanly possible to separate the two things .

About you thinking Imlie is his first wife. Here the question isn't abt first wife or second wife. It's about cheating someone. Imlie always , always knew the truth. She decided to remain silent instead of claiming her rights when she should hv. But Malini never knew the truth .....never. so she is the one who was cheated by both her husband and the girl who is her step sister by the way.

Since we are talking about what ppl should or should not have done. If my fiancé told me such a story and later told me it was a ‘joke’- as WriterSoul has written, I would have been after his life to confirm and verify what he just said. But Malini never did - why? Just because she loves him does that mean that a logical educated Professor in a college, will buy such a serious statement as a joke and then marry the guy without asking him anything anymore? But Malini didn’t do what she was supposed to and so the show didnot end at Episode 26.

‘Imlie claiming her rights’- as she her self has said in Episode 49- there are rights you can claim as a wife but your husband should also be willing to give them to you. In her case, she considers her marriage real but she also accepts the fact that he doesn’t want her as his wife. In her situation, coming from such a backward village, where her mother and she had faced such cruelty for her mother being unmarried, she doesnot initially have the courage to go back. But she does try to exit from their lives but wasn’t able to. Again, if she had claimed her rights in episode 14 - there ends the show. The story is all about the mess you get yourself into by making emotional decisions and trying to keep everyone else happy. Yes she should have been more selfish and I think that is the basis for another show on Star plus - but this is a different story.

Originally posted by: Sunnygrin1

Episode 26 is when Aditya tells Malini that he was forcibly married at PD and she can’t handle it . I think it’s fair to say he did try to tell her the truth. But several righteous folk might claim- so what if she faints or gets seriously sick- he should have stuck to his guns and truth and if she can’t handle it - she can’t- leave her to her fate. Unfortunately he couldn’t. And so the show moves on from Episode 26.

Since we are talking about what ppl should or should not have done. If my fiancé told me such a story and later told me it was a ‘joke’- as WriterSoul has written, I would have been after his life to confirm and verify what he just said. But Malini never did - why? Just because she loves him does that mean that a logical educated Professor in a college, will buy such a serious statement as a joke and then marry the guy without asking him anything anymore? But Malini didn’t do what she was supposed to and so the show didnot end at Episode 26.

‘Imlie claiming her rights’- as she her self has said in Episode 49- there are rights you can claim as a wife but your husband should also be willing to give them to you. In her case, she considers her marriage real but she also accepts the fact that he doesn’t want her as his wife. In her situation, coming from such a backward village, where her mother and she had faced such cruelty for her mother being unmarried, she doesnot initially have the courage to go back. But she does try to exit from their lives but wasn’t able to. Again, if she had claimed her rights in episode 14 - there ends the show. The story is all about the mess you get yourself into by making emotional decisions and trying to keep everyone else happy. Yes she should have been more selfish and I think that is the basis for another show on Star plus - but this is a different story.

I agree to the first point. Yes Malini should hv enquired abt it. She did ask him though . Probably should hv probed more . Agreed on dt.

Yes imlie has faced a lot. But no I don't think Imlie claiming her ryts would hv ended the story. The story has so much more to explore. Imlie's father and mother's story. The fact that Malini is actually her sister. And Aditya and Imlie story could hv eventually developed widout it looking like an extramarital affair.

Originally posted by: DaffodilsNew

I agree to the first point. Yes Malini should hv enquired abt it. She did ask him though . Probably should hv probed more . Agreed on dt.

Yes imlie has faced a lot. But no I don't think Imlie claiming her ryts would hv ended the story. The story has so much more to explore. Imlie's father and mother's story. The fact that Malini is actually her sister. And Aditya and Imlie story could hv eventually developed widout it looking like an extramarital affair.

i somewhere think asking your husband this question permanently damages the relationship. Like the other person can be super insulted and think do you even know me? And Aditya has been projected as a “truth teller” “upright/ethical” guy. So Malini might be thats why reluctant to initiate this convo if there is even a 1% chance its not true. This is why she wants Aditya to come clean on his own.

Good morning girls and boys !!!!

Sorry Sunshine, for your aunt's experience. Whether we like it or not, perspectives do change based on our past experiences, outlook on life and where we are in life at the moment. More power to your aunt👍🏼

Hope all of you are staying safe in this horrific pandemic. I do not watch this show. I can't understand why my smartTVs AI botched this up. I have been watching a lot of forensic documentaries recently on various apps and the TV started recommending this for me on Hotstar. I took the advice and watched a few episodes. Shame on you, AI, I can't imagine why it's algorithm thought I would like this. Ewwww........

I am going to say this upfront " COULDN'T STOMACH ADITYA AND IMILI". The pair looked like uncle and niece and I just can't....... It seemed very much like xxxx to me ( I won't say the word in deference to the sensibilities of fellow forum members ). And then the attitude of this guy made me hopping mad altogether, and so here I am. Since, I have not watched it, please excuse my lack of detail. I thought I would just regurgitate some of my observations.

Malini, gets my full understanding. Imagine a girl who for most of her growing up years is used as a white flag bearing peace maker between her mother and father, who probably had grown up with a lot of insecurity if her mother and father will be together tomorrow or would they call it quits anytime/ any day. She probably was played like a ping-pong ball between them. Is it wrong for her to assume that she will never make the same mistakes as her parents did and will not fight or raise her voice to keep the peace between herself and her partner? I can very easily understand this mindset.

Forget about all of this, just from the standpoint of any generic married woman. She hadn't doubted this Adi guy till now for 7 years to be philandering, did she ? So he must have never given her reason to believe it and she believes that he is invested in the relationship as much as she is. So, if she now wonders if something else is going on ( she is right, mind you ) because the guy must have given her some reason to believe this. Would any married woman or any girl in a committed relationship go and confront the guy and ask " ARE YOU CHEATING" ? I mean it is easy to say this is the most straightforward approach, but does being straightforward always work in relationships? A healthy dose of sensitivity, restraint and diplomacy is needed. Nahin? Let us just say, for argument sake, this Adi guy is only helping this teenager on whom her tribe has committed an atrocity ( I fully believe that the forced wedding at gunpoint is an atrocity on that young girl, I really don't care about the guy ). Then, if Malini as a wife has asked " are you cheating on me", if I am an authentic, genuine and straightforward Adi guy, I would fly off the handle and that would have been a good bye for that relationship just based on Malini's shak. Then Malini would have been in the wrong for being a shaki, unrestrained wife who didn't give the Adi guy his due. Hmmmm..... so what is Malini to do?

Why should she just remove herself from the situation to make it easier for the cheater guy? Just based on her doubt? So, she thrashes around. I would say when somebody is fighting for survival, there is no right or wrong way. She will thrash whichever way she can, and if people get hurt with her thrashing, so be it. She will erupt on people or circumstances which offer the least resistance. Like usually as a husband or wife get mad at each other for the smallest of provocations as they had a bad day at work. As a parent would scold a child when they had a bad day for whatever reason. This happens all around us. I am not condoning suicide in any way, but that definitely is a cry for help from her stand point. I don't support this, but certainly can understand her predicament. Why Imli or her mom didn't try this out and why an educated Malini tried this cry out for help, will have no answers. Each person reacts differently is all I can say. Barring this, I don't see her to be too off in how she is dealing with her confusing situation where she is in the dark about the true colors of her so called husband and best friend and the status of her marriage I would love to see her kick butt, but not everybody can do that, can they? The can do or can't do attitude has nothing to do with socioeconomic status or educational status. Hopefully, she will find her feet soon and kicks some real butt. That would be a great watch But before that, the Adi guy needs to come clean.

Sorry, my friend, to use your space for my observations. I was just too lazy to make a separate post. I hope you don't mind.

I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, just some random observations from my side. I may be totally off.....

About Malini's mom and dad equation. I simply don't like the way they are portraying her mom, Anu. She is made into a vile, class conscious woman, rather than just have bitterness because of what her husband DID to her. She could be bitter, but doesn't have to be soo abrasive🤢. Nobody in real world will put up with that abrasiveness, no matter how much money she has.

Here, Adi guy's family is shown to be somehow all accommodating to Anu's tantrums. Why, I can't imagine😡Sometimes, I doubt if this is to soften Adi guy's family if they flip and go around coddling Imli . Adi guy can use the words to Malini " you are just like your mom"😡🤬 What an insensitive, condescending parallel to draw to a " best friend". After all, she is her mom. Can a husband call my mom as a distasteful person to my face? HELL NO😡 Can Malini call Rupi " what a miserable piece of work your sister is" to Adi guy's face? Would that be taken as an offence by a DIL? 🤬 Just asking......