Independence what is it afterall - Page 4

Originally posted by: Krantikari

I think AC is actually being protective in her own twisted way. Seeing Adi leave Malini like this is reminding her of her own experiences in her marriage and she wants Malini to leave early so that she doesn’t have to experience more heartbreaks later on. AC views the Adi-Malini relationship through the lens of her own with Dev. I think she wants Malini to leave cuz she doesn’t want her to repeat her own mistakes. And she likely thinks it’s good to do this early before there is a child in the equation. I’m not saying ke I agree with her, but this is her reasoning I think.😆

To me that kind of thinking that Imlie leaving Adi is ‘empowering’ is hadh level childish. See this is what I meant when I said there is nothing empowering about being told how to empower yourself. Aren’t these people doing the same thing Adi did by asking Imlie to marry another man?😆 They are insulting her beliefs, her faith. Where is the empowerment in this?

Which is exactly what I said on pg 1 too aur kuch nahi toh atleast respect the pov's of the charcater of imlie.. her faith and beliefs are crystal.clear you call.adi wrong but wants to do the same thing by setting her off with anyone...heck even a cow would work.caz the basic thing is just be with someone else 😆

About AC I do get her protectiveness but she is being a preacher too more than actually still taking action on her own marriage it isn't too late still.. and even the child part too now she is grown mature and married too so why is avlc still always trying to compromise and nibhao with the losee dev...it just shows as emotional dependency and weakness of her a s person as a women and we have discussed that in previous pages in regards to her outlook she is a rather weak woman too who doesn't want divorce wala tag

Pairing off the FL with any random male character is a long standing tradition in ITV fandom. They word it as the FL showing her independence & empowerment but it is just a basic tit for tat ego issue. The ML is not giving importance to FL above all then she should leave him & marry with some other random dude who will be oh so much better in treating her. No matter that the FL loves the ML & he is her choice or what the context or circumstances are in the show set-up. Only if the FL is having a corporate job, financially independent, gives token feminist speeches to ML, then only she is independent & empowered.

Let's talk about our FL & her current story. These points are from one of my previous posts. Instead of token feminist speeches by FL, this kind of setup where the choice is always with the women to decide is far more effective to show women empowerment.

I am just fed up of FLs doing bhaashanbaazi all the time for rights but ultimately everything is about their husband & in laws. They do not show the FL sticking to her guns when the actual time comes. Then they are majboor & have to follow what others decide for them. Their choice is ultimately limited.

Imlie is a rare FL in that though she is also surrounded by debilitating circumstances, she makes her choices on her own come high hell or water. Outwardly she is in such a messy situation- a young naive girl forced into marriage, her dreams of studying further crushed, her husband not accepting her as wife, serving as a maid in his home, seeing him live a married life with someone else,etc. But except for the forced marriage where she had not been given any choice, afterwards there has always been choice.

She chose to stay as a house help in the T house not just because of emotional ties but also because it was a practical choice for her. She was forced to leave her village after the marriage & has landed up in Delhi where she only knows Adi. Yes she is a strong & jugadu girl but she is also very sheltered in her village life. In the village she knows everyone & has that familial bond with them which allows her the freedom to be her free- spirited self. Delhi is an alien planet to her. She is not equipped yet to handle living on her own as she tends to get in trouble easily due to her need to help others. That is why Adi as well as the T family are so protective of her & do not allow her to go anywhere on her own. So she made the correct practical choice to stay in their home as she has no other support in the city. But some people would rather she leave this protective environment & khao dar dar ki thokar.

Most of her choices may have been between a bad or worse situation but ultimately she had the choice. Her refusal to give up her choice of considering her marriage to Adi as valid was so strong that Adi had to compromise & accept her choice to follow her belief & when he impulsively negated this belief of hers, she made the choice to leave him.

After so much pleading, groveling & acceptance of their rishta by him she is still strong enough to say no to returning back with him because she cannot go back & live the way she had lived once. Adi could have forced her to come if he wanted to but he admires her so much for her strength & independence that now her choice is the ultimate decider in their relationship. He had to leave without her because he knew that he has to resolve his own circumstances first & then only he can ask her to come back.

So how in the world is she not independent? Will she only be called independent if she demands her rights as a wife from Adi when she already knows why he can't give those to her currently & doesn't want to snatch Malini's rights from her.

Or should she marry the next available random male character against her own beliefs? Why isn't her choice to consider Adi as her husband for this life time as per her faith & beliefs not the correct one? How is then forcing her to marry someone else to satisfy the fake feminists ego not violating her right of choice & independence? Kuch Bhi.😵

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

Cudnt agree more i dont get why only a woman if she dumps a man or takes revenge is only then eligible to be called independent empowered its almost like saying u cant be modern if u wear traditional clothes ...its all abt the soch i feel. And like Adi said the other day Imlie has known his truth inside out there is nothing hidden from her ...to play along with Adi was also her choice to not play along anymore is also her choice ...the perception around whats an independent empowered woman really needs to widen plus we dont apply the same parameters when judging men to be independent and empowered!

Thanks for this topic once again!

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

Which is exactly what I said on pg 1 too aur kuch nahi toh atleast respect the pov's of the charcater of imlie.. her faith and beliefs are crystal.clear you call.adi wrong but wants to do the same thing by setting her off with anyone...heck even a cow would work.caz the basic thing is just be with someone else 😆

About AC I do get her protectiveness but she is being a preacher too more than actually still taking action on her own marriage it isn't too late still.. and even the child part too now she is grown mature and married too so why is avlc still always trying to compromise and nibhao with the losee dev...it just shows as emotional dependency and weakness of her a s person as a women and we have discussed that in previous pages in regards to her outlook she is a rather weak woman too who doesn't want divorce wala tag

Yeah, just pack her off with anyone, denying her choice. Such empowerment.😆

I get your point about AC but I'm not sure if I've ever seen older couples (saas-sasur) divorce on ITV.😆 AC-Dev relationship is being used as a storytelling device to parallel Adi-Malini's relationship by the writers. I'm not sure we can expect them to divorce tbh but let's hope Adi-Malini get divorced soon-ish.😛

Great topic Fary!!

I have been thinking about this since the beginning where there were posts about everyone demanding the college track and making comments that why are they showing such regressive material. I am not saying that education is not important but I do not understand why education is the only factor that is considered the tool to define a woman as forward thinking or independent. Why having an old school thinking considered wrong? One can have an old school thinking but still be very open minded.

We have so many examples in this show itself where though less educated, Mitti was able to put her foot down and say no. She is not financially strong but she does not need a man to provide her means. For her, she needed his name because that is the way of their village but when she realized he has betrayed her since the beginning she rejected him. She did not want such a person to be associated with her daughter or her. This is being independent and empowerment in true sense.

AC is a very educational woman of high society but is still emotionally dependent on her husband but she does not want her daughter to go through the same pain that she has gone through so she keeps fighting with the T's/Aditya for the same. Her methods are wrong but she is trying to give that experience and strength to her daughter which she is not able to give herself. Her education and social standing has not helping her at all in her life or is it giving her power to step out of this marriage.

Coming to Imlie, I think most of us do not understand that Imlie did not stay with Aditya because she was dependent on him or she had no where to go. It was her choice and her decision because of her old school thinking and beliefs and when those beliefs were mocked, again it was her choice and decision to leave. There was no regressive thinking here, in both cases it was her being independent and to follow a path that she believed is right in spite of the circumstances or difficulties. Staying was empowerments because even though she had no support she was in control of her own decision and just wanted to do what she thought was right thing to do. Aditya told her many times, that her thinking is wrong but she believed that staying is the right thing to do and she stayed. She left for the same reason. She did not need a man before and she does not need a man now.

Hence, having an old school thinking does not mean that you need a man in life, its just a set of values that you have defined for yourself and would not ever compromise on. It has nothing to do with one's thinking or empowerment. For Imlie, marriage is for lifetime, so she is never going to even entertain the thought of somebody else but she is not dependent on that man for anything that she needs in life. She is still confidant that she can live her life on her own terms with or without his support. For her, her man would be a partner in the true sense where there is equal give and take between them.

Originally posted by: pamk06

Great topic Fary!!

I have been thinking about this since the beginning where there were posts about everyone demanding the college track and making comments that why are they showing such regressive material. I am not saying that education is not important but I do not understand why education is the only factor that is considered the tool to define a woman as forward thinking or independent. Why having an old school thinking is considered wrong? One can have an old school thinking but still be very open minded in their thinking.

We have so many examples in this show itself where though less educated, Mitti was able to put her foot down and say no. She is not financially strong but she does not need a man to provide her means. For her, she needed his name because that is the way of their village but when she realized he has betrayed her since the beginning she rejected him. She did not want such a person to be associated with her daughter or her. This is being independent and empowerment in true sense.

AC is a very educational woman of high society but is still emotionally dependent on her husband but she does not want her daughter to go through the same pain that she has gone through so she keeps fighting with the T's/Aditya for the same. Her methods are wrong but she is trying to give that experience and strength to her daughter which she is not able to give herself. Her education and social standing has not helping her at all in her life or is it giving her power to step out of this marriage.

Coming to Imlie, I think most of us do not understand that Imlie did not stay with Aditya because she was dependent on him or she had no where to go. It was her choice and her decision because of her old school thinking and beliefs and when those beliefs were mocked, again it was her choice and decision to leave. There was no regressive thinking here, in both cases it was her being independent and to follow a path that she believed is right in spite of the circumstances or difficulties. Staying was empowerments because even though she had no support she was in control of her own decision and just wanted to do what she thought was right thing to do. Aditya told her many times, that her thinking is wrong but she believed that staying is the right thing to do and she stayed. She left for the same reason. She did not need a man before and she does not need a man now.

Hence, having an old school thinking does not mean that you need a man in life, its just a set of values that you have defined for yourself and would not ever compromise on. It has nothing to do with one's thinking or empowerment. For Imlie, marriage is for lifetime, so she is never going to even entertain the thought of somebody else but she is not dependent on that man for anything that she needs in life. She is still confidant that she can live her life on her own terms with or without his support. For her, her man would be a partner in the true sense where there is equal give and take between them.

And that is the beauty of it.. if this isn't independence of thoughts than what is.. 👏

Word about mithi and AC too and how they have sorted and messed their lives depending on their thought processes too

Rofl am forced to bring this back after the recent independent lady ke thoughts🤣🤣 and the enlightening we got from a woman who calls herself independent mature and empowered.. right from.sindoor MS to her thoughts on har problem ka ek.hi ilaaj bacha.. 🤣🤣

Man Taaliyan👏 👏😳😒

I am not saying that one with those thought processes cannot be independent yes they can but if the thoughts are their own and not followed like a puppet and parodied