Originally posted by: laksh
Interestingly, Sai had 2 options for the marriage proposal.
1. Yes I will marry you even after all your conditions and accept this with your commitment.
2. Yes I will marry you but I cannot accept you with your commitments or accept to any of your conditions.
No was never a choice for her
- Villagers (who are her well wishers) including Usha Maushi (who is her maa samaan) wanted her to marry Virat.
- she tried telling no to them but Usha Maushi objected to it and got upset with Sai.
Usha Maushi as we all know is not Sai's mom, she was someone who took care of her and Kamal sir was helping her by letting her stay with them taking help from her to take care of his house and his daughter in his presence or in his absence.
They are obligated to her and Sai also respects her.
If it was her own Mom or Dad, she would have taken the liberty to decline Virat's marriage proposal.
Not accepting to Usha Maushi or not listening to her would mean disrespecting her or also convey Maushi that you are no one to me and you do not have rights to inferfere in my personal matter.
Sai didn't want Usha Maushi to think that
: she didn't listen to Maushi only because she is no one to her,
: she didn't want her Maushi to think that she has no rights in taking decisions about Sai's life.
"Unki baat ki maan rakhne ke liye" Sai ke paas haan bolne ke alava ek aur ek rastha tha aur woh tha Virat ka 'na'.
I wholeheartedly agree. At one glance one may feel that saying yes just to keep Usha happy is not a valid reason, but it wasn't just about listening or not listening to advice of someone who always took care of you. To not listen to her would have indirectly sent the message that you are just a servant not my real family.
- so her next no, is not a 'no' not from her but from Virat which she tried by asking him to backoff but he had refused.
- she also knew and understood that her Dad gave Virat her responsibility and she also understood that the villagers weren't in a position to take care of her and they also didn't want to let her live alone. The only option they gave her was to get married.
- if she didn't have to listen to or respect her well wishers, she would have preferred to stay alone and accept whatever challenges life threw on her.
She once spoke to her Aaba's photo that she was planning to do some chota mota course in GC which clearly shows that she didn't care whether she could become a doctor or not.
She didn't want anyone's mercy on her or for anyone to take her responsibility.
She wasn't looking for a support or a person who will help her achieving her dreams or her Dad's dreams.
Also, if she had not tried to commit suicide, as per the original plan Virat would have left GC and Sai would have lived her life on her own.
Also even if she had tried to commit suicide and Virat had not come to save her and someone else saved her and if Virat didn't come to know of it and didn't return to GC, even then Sai would have lived on her own.
To this I would also like to add one point, Sai is someone who doesn't deal well with loneliness. Yes she is strong enough to take care of herself in a hostel and live alone physically, definitely she is. But she is also someone who needs somebody else to look after her emotionally. That doesn't in any way make her weak. She just is that way. Even when KJ was on deathbed, when marriage was not on his mind, when suicide had not happened, he asked Virat to take Sai's responsibility. I don't think he meant just financially, he knew Sai is smart, she will get scholarships and had saved money for her. He meant as a friend (which later turned to marriage) because he knew Sai needs someone. Let's not think about future now and just see what has already happened. No matter how much Sai and Virat may fight, at the end of the day, she knows Virat will be there for her.
Let's talk about the only two options she had
Yes I will marry you but I cannot accept you with your commitments or accept to any of your conditions.
Virat refused to backoff from the marriage.
Sai's question
"Aap toh mujhse pyar nahi karte na?"
To know what he thinks and why does he want to get married.
"Nafrat bhi kahan karta hoon"
Next question
"Pakhi ka kya"
Virat then realised that he has to clarify that it is not an actual marriage and that he was only taking her responsibility and that he has promised someone else that he cannot give that someone else's position to anyone in his life and will not be able to love or act as a husband.
Virat conveyed the same to Sai.
Sai's thoughts
If Sai had said she was okay to marry but cannot agree to those conditions, what would have Virat thought
1. that Sai is actually okay to marry
- did she want to marry me?
- was she interested to marry me?
- does she have any feelings for me?
- if she is okay to marry, why did she in first place say that she doesn't want to marry me and why did she ask me to backoff?
2 Sai wants it to be a legitimate marriage?
Which means
- Sai wants me to be my wife and all rights as that of a wife?
- Sai wants me to be her husband, act her husband?
Sai is a person who values her self respect. When she had no choice to say 'no', she had a choice of saying
Yes with all conditions or
Yes but I don't accept your conditions
Sai's self respect was in question. The guy was setting conditions and her challenging him about the conditions or his commitment would be like compromising her self respect which at any cost she wouldn't.
Definitely agree. If you guys remember in the episode when Vithal had filed complaint against Virat and Sai and Virat were fighting and Pakhi watching, Sai said I asked you tell your family but you did not listen to me and then she says "Aur kisi se nahi to kam se kam apni iss best friend ko to bata dete." Virat, already frustrated and angry, felt attacked, did he not? He then proceeds to say "ye sab keh ke tum saabit kya karna chahti ho? Ki mai tumhe pehle se pasand karta tha aur is liye tum se shaadi karna chaah raha tha?" This is what would have happened. Again if we ignore the future, and just talk about that particular situation, what wasn't in Sai's favor? He was offering to get her educated, give her social security for nothing in return. He was offering all of this and saying she doesn't even have to perform her duties or contribute to the relationship as a wife. Considering Sai didn't want to marry him in the first place, this was ideal for her. She doesn't have to be his wife. If Sai did not agree still, wouldn't she have left herself open for being attacked? If still she did not agree to get married, he would say ask her what more she wants? If she said she will marry him only without the conditions then that would indirectly mean ki Sai Virat ko pehle se pasand karti hai, isliye saare cheeze uske faayde ke liye hote hue bhi mana kar rahi hai because she wants a genuine marriage. She had no choice.
Hence the below choice was chosen by her.
"Yes I will marry you even after all your conditions and accept this with your commitment."
The talk about leaving after 5 years or after she becomes a doctor came only in their car journey and that Virat offered not because he wanted to set an expiry date for his marital life.
Virat felt Sai wasn't happy, it wouldn't be fair on Sai if he had made her stick to this kind of marriage where she would only be his responsibility, where she can never be his wife and where he would never act like her husband.
To reduce his guilt, that he had set such conditions for a marriage, to make up for the forced marriage that she was obliging to, he offered to her to walk out of this marriage anytime she wants and said that he will not bind her to this marriage.
Sai didn't think of anything and her ego/self respect was already hurt multiple times by this guy by constantly reminding her that she would only be his responsibility and he would never be his wife.
As a retort, she told him that she doesn't expect anything from him, infact asked him, what made him think she would expect anything from him and also told him that she too can never become his wife.
Sai did whatever she had to do to protect her self respect. Especially in this regard, I don't think Sai was anywhere wrong.
Sai at that moment, just went with the flow, accepted life as it came to her, accepted all the challengers that were thrown at her and accepted and was willing to face all the troubles/struggles that would come as part of these.
If we can all understand that Virat (an IPs officer) promised in a spur of a moment to Pakhi, we can also understand that Sai (a state topper) also just accepted without foreseeing how her life was going to be 5 years from then.
Also I feel, academic intelligence has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. I don't think being a state topper or an IPS officer had anything to do with this at all. Both Sai and Virat felt that they will be able to keep their emotional distance. It was a lapse in judgement.
She took it all with a face value just like how she trusted Kaku in the recent episode.
A girl did not think or never got to think who was he living with, where was she going to stay, if she will be made to stay in the same room as his, if she will be made to share bed with him in this kind of a marriage, how are we expecting her to think what she would do after 5 years or within 5 years or anything?
This girl lost her father just a few days back and didn't even have a will to live. When a person is emotional and overpowered by emotions, it doesn't matter whether they are a topper or doctor or a successful businessman, all are the same.
Hope it has answered some, if not all your questions.
Tagging a few friends who might be interested in this topic.
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