Shahid Kapoor didn't want to date a working woman - Page 18

Before women 'empowerment', women did housework and spent time with family and children.

After women 'empowerment', women now do housework AND career work, and spend little to no downtime with children and family. Such empowerment.😆

Plus they get to enjoy LOWER wages for their awesome careers too, because doubling the workforce has halved the wages. Oh, they also get to enjoy poor mental health because they have to balance work & household at the same time. Such empowerment.😆

And anyone who prioritises their family & own mental health gets shamed by the so called 'empowered' women. These 'empowered' women reinforce their 'empowerment' by belittling those who have chosen to cultivate their life over their ego. Such empowerment.😆

Originally posted by: Mo0nLighting

I can't even make heads or tails of this thread anymore. But I've always found this "super mom with a super career" ideal problematic cuz anything less than that is looked down upon... as we witnessed it firsthand here.

People need to stop imposing unrealistic standards on women to live up to society's perception of a "perfectly feminist modern woman" cuz that's also doing them a disservice much like forcing a career woman to turn into a Stepford wife.

There are plenty of jobs out there that aren't high-stress but I really don't think a working mom can balance life and work together if her work is all-consuming like most of the corporate and high-paying jobs are.... certainly not without those women paying a very heavy price. We might not see it on the outside but they're often struggling to keep it together.

Am I then asking women to drop it all and turn into a Stepford wife or be like Mira instead? Absolutely not. All I'm saying is that there's something seriously wrong with expecting women to manage it ALL--receive education from top tier schools, land their dream jobs, marry a guy who is much more successful than her (cuz let's face it--most of the women date and marry up), have kids, same husband who also sympathizes with her and helps her do the dishes, train them perfectly.... and keep turning the wheel like a hamster.

It's clear that Shahid found someone whose values align with his. So if two people are on the same page and have figured out a way to make their marriage work, I don't know why some people who don't even know the ins and outs of their relationship have such a massive problem with her being a stay-at-home mom. Triggered for all the wrong reasons? Perhaps.

I swear, some of the "expectations" being dished out here would need all the women to come together and upend the system into a matriarchal society against all odds or just marry each other instead... so that we can all be "equal." 😵

Right, under the pretext of supporting homemakers, let's now tell women who want to have it all they shouldn't want that.

Instead of pointing to women like Kamala Harris or Indra Nooyi as role models, let's now tell little girls they shouldn't aspire to that. That they'd be little hamsters going nowhere if they tried doing so.

Throw in a bit of bigotry at the end about women marrying each other because men can't possibly be expected to live up to human standards. Because women wanting equal rights is matriarchy instead of patriarchy?

Originally posted by: rkisnothot

Earlier patriarchy had set roles for men and women. Men work outside and bring the money and women work inside the home and take care of kids. Post-80s patriarchy is even worse for women. Now they're expected to be superwomen who work outside and bring the paycheck and also do all the domestic work and take care of the kids.

It's easy to write theoretically without any basis in how things really are for Indian women. Have people here seen arranged marriage ads lately? Now men demand "working women." Do you think it's because Indian men are suddenly feminists? No, they've just realized they can now get domestic workers who will also get them a paycheck.

Let people have the choice to do whatever they want to do. If Shahid and Mira want a traditional life that makes them happy, how does it matter to anyone else?

I'm not in the least bit concerned about Shahid and Mira's relationship either... I just saw a misleading title and got sucked into this whole discussion.

I haven't seen arranged marriage ads lately cuz I never venture into such territories. Not sure why matrimonial sites are looking that way these days, it must be a "progressive" shift from "gori chitti bahu" they were hunting before ...😆

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Right, under the pretext of supporting homemakers, let's now tell women who want to have it all they shouldn't want that.

But that's the thing. Having it all is a fallacy that women have been conditioned into believing. It doesn't actually exist. For every one thing you gain, there is always one thing you lose.

If you want a great career that requires 80 hour weeks, you are definitely going to lose out on time with your family or children if you have them. That's a guarantee. If you want to be a hands on mom and wife, you are definitely going to have to give up some promotions or lose out on work advancements. If you're a stay-at-home mom, nowadays you will lose respect and the snobby working women will think they are better than you. Similarly, if you're a working woman, the elite homemakers will say you treat your kids like puppies.

Many people try to balance those things in the best way they can but I've seen most women stressed and unhappy and at their wits end trying to manage both jobs and home. Even the good men only "help" with the household chores. They don't actually take any real responsibility. So that balance is perilous as well and more often than not, you put pressure on your physical and mental health instead.

There is no such thing as having it all.

Lessons from the posts in this thread supposedly supporting women.

1. Women shouldn't want to have it all.

2. Women who want careers will end up working at home and outside so might as well not work outside home.

3. Men won't and can't be expected to live up to standards which should be the norm in any civilized society such as taking an equal share of the work at home.

4. So women should conform for their own sake.

5. To suggest otherwise is now anti feminist.

6. Oh, one more. Since there is no such thing as having it all, we shouldn't fight to have it all. Perhaps we might even have been better off if those crazy ladies back in the prehistoric times of 1700s, 1800s, and 1900s never fought for voting rights for women, for property rights, heck, the right to be considered human instead of your husband's property. Because why, with rights come responsibility. And responsibility means work. A working woman is more unhappy than someone completely financially dependent on the husband.

7. Sorry. 2nd addition. Women who decried homemakers being derided as anti feminist can now blithely contend working women are unhappy so better not want to work. *That* is feminism. Not personal choices.

Welcome to 1984. Up is down. Black is White. Lie is Truth.

Originally posted by: Mo0nLighting

Working women with kids (at least in a corporate setting) are almost always at their wits end trying to balance work life with kids and household chores on a daily basis. Anything else on their plate threatens to topple the balance in their lives that's almost always hanging by a thread. Even during covid right now, people are stuck at home but guess who's doing double the work, loaded up on caffeine and functioning with their last brain cell? Working women with kids.

Men still don't pull as much weight as women in the house when it comes to taking care of kids, household chores, etc. and I don't think that'll change anytime soon. I know a lot of working women play house AND work at the same time and given the choice to not work and given their husbands make plenty to cover all the costs with enough discretionary income to have fun as well, I'm confident that majority of the working women would happily take that option ... ONLY because trying to walk that line of balance is SOOO so difficult that it comes down to either work or family after a point just to maintain their sanity. Women around you might make it look easy and effortless but it's not.

Career women are also often fighting the clock cuz their careers almost always comes at a cost... and that's usually relationship/marriage. They're well into their late 30's or 40 when they have their first child in some cases and yet, their maternal leave isn't generous enough for them to take care of their babies during the most crucial times of their lives.

But I guess these are just additional points to throw out there cuz I don't really have a strong opinion for or against housewives. As far as Mira is concerned, she is lucky .... a lot of people compromise their passions because they *have* to work in a field that makes enough money to meet financial needs. If there's anything I would wanna "advise" to women like her, she should probably pursue something she's passionate about so that she can grow as a person. It does make me uncomfortable thinking of someone whose only hobbies include shopping, having fun and not doing anything to stimulate the mind or for personal growth.

There's also that possibility of your marriage going south and then what? What is the woman supposed to do? Live off alimony? Just to be prudent and to always have a plan B, having a career to uphold your identity and interests is essential too.

Very well put, dear. 👏

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Lessons from the posts in this thread supposedly supporting women.

1. Women shouldn't want to have it all.

2. Women who want careers will end up working at home and outside so might as well not work outside home.

3. Men won't and can't be expected to live up to standards which should be the norm in any civilized society such as taking an equal share of the work at home.

4. So women should conform for their own sake.

5. To suggest otherwise is now anti feminist.

6. Oh, one more. Since there is no such thing as having it all, we shouldn't fight to have it all. Perhaps we might even have been better off if those crazy ladies back in the prehistoric times of 1700s, 1800s, and 1900s never fought for voting rights for women, for property rights, heck, the right to be considered human instead of your husband's property. Because why, with rights come responsibility. And responsibility means work. A working woman is more unhappy than someone completely financially dependent on the husband.

7. Sorry. 2nd addition. Women who decried homemakers being derided as anti feminist can now blithely contend working women are unhappy so better not want to work. *That* is feminism. Not personal choices.

Welcome to 1984. Up is down. Black is White. Lie is Truth.

😆 Forget all this, tell me why are supposedly 'empowered' people always so hostile? Shouldn't they be more content given their 'empowered' state.😛

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Lessons from the posts in this thread supposedly supporting women.

1. Women shouldn't want to have it all.

2. Women who want careers will end up working at home and outside so might as well not work outside home.

3. Men won't and can't be expected to live up to standards which should be the norm in any civilized society such as taking an equal share of the work at home.

4. So women should conform for their own sake.

5. To suggest otherwise is now anti feminist.

6. Oh, one more. Since there is no such thing as having it all, we shouldn't fight to have it all. Perhaps we might even have been better off if those crazy ladies back in the prehistoric times of 1700s, 1800s, and 1900s never fought for voting rights for women, for property rights, heck, the right to be considered human instead of your husband's property. Because why, with rights come responsibility. And responsibility means work. A working woman is more unhappy than someone completely financially dependent on the husband.

7. Sorry. 2nd addition. Women who decried homemakers being derided as anti feminist can now blithely contend working women are unhappy so better not want to work. *That* is feminism. Not personal choices.

Welcome to 1984. Up is down. Black is White. Lie is Truth.

How about scratching all that and just taking home one simple lesson: Just choose what you want to choose and likewise let the other women(and men) choose for themselves without judging them for their choices?

Originally posted by: Krantikari

😆 Forget all this, tell me why are supposedly 'empowered' people always so hostile? Shouldn't they be more content given their 'empowered' state.😛

8. Pointing out blatant sexism and misogyny and bigotry is now hostile.

9. Thought just occurred to me. If women shouldn't be encouraged to seek careers, why bother educating them in the hard sciences? Even the arts? Heck, why even literacy? They'll be happier not knowing any of it. Too bad those crazy feminists of old insisted on it, huh? No matter. The new gen is more enlightened. We know there is no point in fighting for equal rights because there is no such thing as even *aspiring* to have it all. We should never bother to aspire. We should be happy with our lot in life.

Keep them coming. So we feminists who don't get the new rules can finally begin to understand.

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Lessons from the posts in this thread supposedly supporting women.

1. Women shouldn't want to have it all.

2. Women who want careers will end up working at home and outside so might as well not work outside home.

3. Men won't and can't be expected to live up to standards which should be the norm in any civilized society such as taking an equal share of the work at home.

4. So women should conform for their own sake.

5. To suggest otherwise is now anti feminist.

6. Oh, one more. Since there is no such thing as having it all, we shouldn't fight to have it all. Perhaps we might even have been better off if those crazy ladies back in the prehistoric times of 1700s, 1800s, and 1900s never fought for voting rights for women, for property rights, heck, the right to be considered human instead of your husband's property. Because why, with rights come responsibility. And responsibility means work. A working woman is more unhappy than someone completely financially dependent on the husband.

7. Sorry. 2nd addition. Women who decried homemakers being derided as anti feminist can now blithely contend working women are unhappy so better not want to work. *That* is feminism. Not personal choices.

Welcome to 1984. Up is down. Black is White. Lie is Truth.

how about a simple live and let live stop respect others choices stop belittling homemakers whether man or woman because they do contribute alot to this society

how about that?