SaiRat OS: "Dear Virat Sir...."

Ok so inspired by the FF writers in the forum and my current addiction with the show i decided to pen a OS myself. Its kinda angsty and in a letter format....i dont know how its turned out and i have not proof read so hopefully its not incomprehensible. Dimaag main thought aaya aur phir likhna chalu kiya and here it is....

Title: Dear Virat Sir

Dear Virat Sir.

Aap soch rahe honge ki main ek hi ghar main rahke aapko letter kyun likh rahi hoon. Aaba kahte the ki kabhi kabhi jo cheezein ham kisi se kah nahi paate voh kalam se kaagaz par utaarna behtar hota hai. Man bhi halka hojaata hai aur likhne se voh baatein hawa main ghum nahi hoti, hamesha ke liye reh jaati hai. Ab aap meri tarah ye logic mat lagao ki agar voh kaagaz jal gayi ya phaad di gayi toh kya! 

Anyway, Aisi ek baat hai joh main kuch dinon se aapse kahne ki koshish kar rahi hoon par mujhme himmat hi nahi hai. 

Mujhe kuch dinon pahle ehsaas hua ki kaisa feel hota hai jab koi apne dard aur gusse main aapko us chiz ka zimmedar tahrata hai jo apne nahi ki. Jab aapko kisi chiz ka beyhadh afsos ho but aap helpless ho to rectify the situation. Jab aap already guilty feel kar rahe ho ki shaayad apse koi chuk toh nahi huyi tab agar koi aapko itni kadvi baatein sunaye aur voh sab sunke aap khud ko defend bhi nahi karpaaye.

Aur baatein kabhi kabhi aise zakhm deti hai jo actually kisi physical ghaav se bhi zyaada hoti hai. Yeh bhi aaba kahte the jab bhi main gusse main zyada bol jaati. Lekin shaayad main iss advice pe amal nahi karpayi hoon. Lekin aaj thoda thoda samajhne lagi hoon. 

Jab khud kisi aise situation main apne aap ko paya hai tab realize hua. 

Last month humaare teaching clinic main Dr.Deshmukh ne mujhe ek aise patient ko dekhne bola jisko malaria tha. Serious tha but he was getting treated. Uski wife uske saath thi hospital main.Aur pata nahi kyun but i felt a connection with her.shaayad meri hi age ki hogi isliye. Anyway mera clinic presentation khatam hogaya but jab main jaane waali thi toh usne mujhe roka aur pucha ki - Tai, mera pati thik hojayega na? Aur maine usko ashwasan diya ki voh thik hojayega. Malaria toh infection hai, jiska ilaj bhi hai aur usko sahi treatment mil rahi hai, voh young hai toh thik hojayega. But unfortunately uska malaria kaafi severe tha.uski liver failure itni zyaada thi ki voh treatment ke bavajud improve nahi ho raha tha. Liver aur kidney fail hogaye toh usko baadme ventilator pe daalna pada aur ICU main shift kiya. ICU main usko bahut dangerous hospital acquired infection bhi hogayi and finally he succumbed. Iss dauran main uski wife ko roz milti thi aur bolti rahi ki serious hai lekin ummeed hai aur jis din uski death hui aur main uski wife se milne gayi toh voh mujh par aisi toot padi.mujhse kaha ki main aur hum sab doctors hi uske husband ke kaatil hai. Malaria ko treat nahi kar paye aur upar se roz roz usko jhuti tasalli dete rahe ki voh thik hoga. Jaate jaate kah ke gayi ki bhagwaan ham sabko kabhi maaf nahi karenge.

Pata nahi shaayad meri galti hai ki maine usko thodi zyaada umeed de di but i thought ki she could use some hope. Maine uss se ye bhi kaha tha ki uska husband kaafi serious hai but shaayad usko ummeed ki kiran ke aage ke joh medical facts the voh poori tarah samajh main nahi aye. And i know ki usne mujhse jo bhi kaha it is her pain, her grief of losing her husband. But i cant forget the look in her eyes and how she shoved me aside when i tried to console her.but mujhe phir bhi bahut bura laga. Main toh sirf student hoon but phir bhi main roz usko milne jaati thi aur apni taraf se jitna usko support kar sakti thi maine kiya...Aur tab mujhe suddenly yaad aaya ki maine bhi exactly yahi toh kiya tha.aapke saath. jab aapne aaba ka VRS sanction kiya aur kaha ki aap sab sambhal lenge toh maine uske aage kuch nahi dekha. But mujhe pata hona chahiye tha ki aaba kabhi ghadchiroli chhod ke nahi jaate jab tak voh Jagtap ko pakadva na le. Mission pe bhi voh khud hi zidd karke aaye honge na...but phir bhi maine aapko zimmedar tehraya. Aapko apni bebuniyaad inzaamon aur apni kadvi baaton ka zakhm diya hai. Aur aaj tak maine kabhi bhi uski maafi tak nahi maangi. Aap bahut acche hai ki aapne phir bhi meri har galti ko nazarandaaz kiya aur itna saath diya. Aap mujhe apne saath yaha nagpur le aaye, mere aur aaba ka sapna poora karne me meri help ki lekin maine toh maafi bhi nahi maangi. Sahi kehte hai sab. Main ehsaan faramosh aur matlabi ladki hoon. Lekin mujhe ehsaas ho raha hai ki main kitni galat hoon.Aur mujhe aapse maafi maange bina ghutan mehsoos horahi hai. I am sorry Virat Sir.Sorry shaayad kaafi nahi hai mere bure bartaav ke liye.yaad hai aapne mujhse kaha tha ki ek din jab mujhe sach samajh main ayega tab main khud aapke paas aaoongi. I think sach toh shaayad mujhe bahut pahle hi samajh main agaya tha.infact shaayad mujhe humesha se sach pata tha phir bhi maine aapko bolne ka mauka nahi diya tha aur phir itna zyaada vakt laga diya maafi maangne main. Aaba kehte the ki galti sudharne ka koi sahi vakt nahi hota. Toh isiliye main bhi abhi apni galti sudharna chahti hoon. Please mujhe maaf kardijiye Virat Sir.

Originally posted by: neeraja91

Ok so inspired by the FF writers in the forum and my current addiction with the show i decided to pen a OS myself. Its kinda angsty and in a letter format....i dont know how its turned out and i have not proof read so hopefully its not incomprehensible. Dimaag main thought aaya aur phir likhna chalu kiya and here it is....

Title: Dear Virat Sir

Dear Virat Sir.

Aap soch rahe honge ki main ek hi ghar main rahke aapko letter kyun likh rahi hoon. Aaba kahte the ki kabhi kabhi jo cheezein ham kisi se kah nahi paate voh kalam se kaagaz par utaarna behtar hota hai. Man bhi halka hojaata hai aur likhne se voh baatein hawa main ghum nahi hoti, hamesha ke liye reh jaati hai. Ab aap meri tarah ye logic mat lagao ki agar voh kaagaz jal gayi ya phaad di gayi toh kya! 

Anyway, Aisi ek baat hai joh main kuch dinon se aapse kahne ki koshish kar rahi hoon par mujhme himmat hi nahi hai. 

Mujhe kuch dinon pahle ehsaas hua ki kaisa feel hota hai jab koi apne dard aur gusse main aapko us chiz ka zimmedar tahrata hai jo apne nahi ki. Jab aapko kisi chiz ka beyhadh afsos ho but aap helpless ho to rectify the situation. Jab aap already guilty feel kar rahe ho ki shaayad apse koi chuk toh nahi huyi tab agar koi aapko itni kadvi baatein sunaye aur voh sab sunke aap khud ko defend bhi nahi karpaaye.

Aur baatein kabhi kabhi aise zakhm deti hai jo actually kisi physical ghaav se bhi zyaada hoti hai. Yeh bhi aaba kahte the jab bhi main gusse main zyada bol jaati. Lekin shaayad main iss advice pe amal nahi karpayi hoon. Lekin aaj thoda thoda samajhne lagi hoon. 

Jab khud kisi aise situation main apne aap ko paya hai tab realize hua. 

Last month humaare teaching clinic main Dr.Deshmukh ne mujhe ek aise patient ko dekhne bola jisko malaria tha. Serious tha but he was getting treated. Uski wife uske saath thi hospital main.Aur pata nahi kyun but i felt a connection with her.shaayad meri hi age ki hogi isliye. Anyway mera clinic presentation khatam hogaya but jab main jaane waali thi toh usne mujhe roka aur pucha ki - Tai, mera pati thik hojayega na? Aur maine usko ashwasan diya ki voh thik hojayega. Malaria toh infection hai, jiska ilaj bhi hai aur usko sahi treatment mil rahi hai, voh young hai toh thik hojayega. But unfortunately uska malaria kaafi severe tha.uski liver failure itni zyaada thi ki voh treatment ke bavajud improve nahi ho raha tha. Liver aur kidney fail hogaye toh usko baadme ventilator pe daalna pada aur ICU main shift kiya. ICU main usko bahut dangerous hospital acquired infection bhi hogayi and finally he succumbed. Iss dauran main uski wife ko roz milti thi aur bolti rahi ki serious hai lekin ummeed hai aur jis din uski death hui aur main uski wife se milne gayi toh voh mujh par aisi toot padi.mujhse kaha ki main aur hum sab doctors hi uske husband ke kaatil hai. Malaria ko treat nahi kar paye aur upar se roz roz usko jhuti tasalli dete rahe ki voh thik hoga. Jaate jaate kah ke gayi ki bhagwaan ham sabko kabhi maaf nahi karenge.

Pata nahi shaayad meri galti hai ki maine usko thodi zyaada umeed de di but i thought ki she could use some hope. Maine uss se ye bhi kaha tha ki uska husband kaafi serious hai but shaayad usko ummeed ki kiran ke aage ke joh medical facts the voh poori tarah samajh main nahi aye. And i know ki usne mujhse jo bhi kaha it is her pain, her grief of losing her husband. But i cant forget the look in her eyes and how she shoved me aside when i tried to console her.but mujhe phir bhi bahut bura laga. Main toh sirf student hoon but phir bhi main roz usko milne jaati thi aur apni taraf se jitna usko support kar sakti thi maine kiya...Aur tab mujhe suddenly yaad aaya ki maine bhi exactly yahi toh kiya tha.aapke saath. jab aapne aaba ka VRS sanction kiya aur kaha ki aap sab sambhal lenge toh maine uske aage kuch nahi dekha. But mujhe pata hona chahiye tha ki aaba kabhi ghadchiroli chhod ke nahi jaate jab tak voh Jagtap ko pakadva na le. Mission pe bhi voh khud hi zidd karke aaye honge na...but phir bhi maine aapko zimmedar tehraya. Aapko apni bebuniyaad inzaamon aur apni kadvi baaton ka zakhm diya hai. Aur aaj tak maine kabhi bhi uski maafi tak nahi maangi. Aap bahut acche hai ki aapne phir bhi meri har galti ko nazarandaaz kiya aur itna saath diya. Aap mujhe apne saath yaha nagpur le aaye, mere aur aaba ka sapna poora karne me meri help ki lekin maine toh maafi bhi nahi maangi. Sahi kehte hai sab. Main ehsaan faramosh aur matlabi ladki hoon. Lekin mujhe ehsaas ho raha hai ki main kitni galat hoon.Aur mujhe aapse maafi maange bina ghutan mehsoos horahi hai. I am sorry Virat Sir.Sorry shaayad kaafi nahi hai mere bure bartaav ke liye.yaad hai aapne mujhse kaha tha ki ek din jab mujhe sach samajh main ayega tab main khud aapke paas aaoongi. I think sach toh shaayad mujhe bahut pahle hi samajh main agaya tha.infact shaayad mujhe humesha se sach pata tha phir bhi maine aapko bolne ka mauka nahi diya tha aur phir itna zyaada vakt laga diya maafi maangne main. Aaba kehte the ki galti sudharne ka koi sahi vakt nahi hota. Toh isiliye main bhi abhi apni galti sudharna chahti hoon. Please mujhe maaf kardijiye Virat Sir.

YAAYYYY!! this is such a well-written letter!! It's hard for me to read hindi, but patiently read all of it. Please continue writing more OS <3. 

Thank you for reading and dropping a comment. I tbought about writing in English at first but somehow i felt that it would flow more naturally in hindi....

Such a beautiful piece and so well written❤️

The angst, the realisation, finally the apology, so well portrayed. I always felt that Sai always knew that Virat never meant any harm, its just that she was stressed and angry and was using Virat as a stress ball😆

I know this may be a stand alone, but I hope we could get Virat's reaction to it, or maybe he could write her a letter to pour his feelings as well.

Keep on writing❤️

It was really nice....👍🏼

Keep writing....

Originally posted by: ..Peppermint..

Such a beautiful piece and so well written❤️

The angst, the realisation, finally the apology, so well portrayed. I always felt that Sai always knew that Virat never meant any harm, its just that she was stressed and angry and was using Virat as a stress ball😆

I know this may be a stand alone, but I hope we could get Virat's reaction to it, or maybe he could write her a letter to pour his feelings as well.

Keep on writing❤️

I feel that hum haq se gussa sirf unpar jata paate hai jinko hum apna samajhte hai. Obviously it does not mean that the gussa crosses all limits like Makad gang but ultimately Sai being able to vent to Virat right from the get go shows her comfort level with him. And virat knows that even though she has a short fuse she means no harm and her dil is saaf. He is generally a patient and soft-spoken personality anyway but from the very beginning Virat i think understood that Sai was projecting her anger about the situation on him. Even when Sai was very blunt during her vidaai Virat had told maushi that its just her gussa that sometimes makes her say things she doesn't mean. And he also i think loves the way she apologises eventually. Abhi tak ho bhi apologies kiye hai voh kaafi cute ya funny the. But this situation i think will bring out Sais depth and angst. 

I also feel that Sai's character arc will definitely become more "mature" with time because i think medical profession is definitely one of the few that really thrusts a youngster just out of school full force into the harshest realities-of life and death, of disease and its impact on a person wnd his whole family, and interacting with patients right from training days exposes the medical student to people from every walk of life....i think its tremendously character building. 

As for another piece with Virats response- socha nahi tha about that but maybe i will try... honestly this was a very spontaneous piece.

Also, Sorry about the unecessarily long reply. Lol

Originally posted by: ashsamik

It was really nice....👍🏼

Keep writing....

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. 

Very heart touching Neerja❤️

Very well written , where u explained inner turmoil of sai brilliantly 👍🏼👏.

Plz write more OS .

It was a beautiful letter 

I felt glad to see that Sai had poured down all her guilt and earnest feelings in the letter

Her apology was very heartfelt 

Keep writing more 🤗