*Discussion Of The Week #6 Unmarried Women In Pakistani Dramas* - Page 6

That’s very noble of that daughter and if she’s fine about not getting married then I suppose it’s up to her. It’s hard but maybe she doesn’t feel the need to have a man after all and she’s happy to stay single. She’s not a bechari and sounds like a strong woman with a good goal in life.

If that was me though I think I’d eventually crave a relationship with a man. Or maybe it’s just my weird hormones at the moment!

Originally posted by: Geraldin

That’s very noble of that daughter and if she’s fine about not getting married then I suppose it’s up to her. It’s hard but maybe she doesn’t feel the need to have a man after all and she’s happy to stay single. She’s not a bechari and sounds like a strong woman with a good goal in life.

If that was me though I think I’d eventually crave a relationship with a man. Or maybe it’s just my weird hormones at the moment!

No youre right, every girl feels like that. For how long can you stay with your parents? I mean while you have your parents you dont need anyone else to support you but what about when theyre gone? Siblings get married and busy with their own family and youre left all alone.

I believe most women stay in unhappy marriages just because they dont wanna be alone.

Originally posted by: ItsmeSehar

There are some girls in our society who do not want to get married because of their old parents. I have read an article about a famous actress who is 35 years old and she does not want to get married because of her mother. She has no brother and her younger sister is already married and has children. Her mother is a divorced woman. If she gets married, her mother will be left alone and she does not want to leave her mother alone.

My best friend had to take care of her ill mother, coz they have no other relatives. After her mother passed away, my friend was 45 yrs old. She is still unmarried. She lives alone.. she works , visits friends. She is a loving person. And I don't find her complaining . There are many women in my city who are unmarried. I think when women grow old they become less interested in men. 😊

Originally posted by: Geraldin

“A woman can be happy in her life without getting married.” (its me sehar)

Yes I agree to a certain extent with the above, and it’s fine if you’re happy in your life, but in Islam if you’re religious you can’t have a relationship with a man unless only through marriage, so how long can a woman really want to stay unmarried? Can you really control your natural feelings forever? Imagine if you never know what it’s like to be kissed and feel desired, I will feel I’m missing something. And what do you do if you’re attracted to men you see everywhere? How do women who choose to never marry deal with this? Don’t they ever have those kind of needs?

How old are you, if i may ask. There are so many points in your post i disagree with. I feel your outlook may be because of your age, lack of experience or lack of exposure.

"imagine if you never know what it’s like to be kissed and feel desired, I will feel I’m missing something." no.. You wouldn't miss anything if you never felt the need to feel desired. For eg. Imagine if you never visit Marina Trench, will you feel you missed out on anything? No you wouldn't because you never cared about visiting it in the first place.

There are women who do not feel the "need" as much. They may or may not marry for reasons other than physical companionship.

If sex is the reason a woman needs to marry, how can you guarantee her husband will fulfill her needs? Given how the culture is in our subcontinent, in arranged marriage set up im pretty sure no one discusses sex or sexuality. What if the guy you marry is gay?😬

Sex is definitely not worth marrying someone of opposite gender who brings along in-laws, household responsibilities , decreased choices and giving up freedom, have children etc. 😜

On a side note, How is homosexuality treated in Pakistan? Legal or illegal?

Sticking strictly to the topic of unmarried women in Pakistani drama, one observation i have is that in every drama there is at least one female who is desperate to get married or whose family is desperate to get her married. Even if the drama is a no family, no marriage based story. For eg. Ehd-e-wafa, yeh dil mera, pyar k sadqay, ishq zehnaseeb etc.

Why do girls believe marriage (or made to believe marriage is their ultimate destination. Rani, Mahjabeen look at marriage as an escape from studies and their parents are encouraging it. Aina is engg graduate but her only motivation is to marry Aman and sit at home? Like why girl...go manage apne baap ka business.

Another observation is that in most of the Pakistani dramas, story is around girl n her marriage. Life before marriage, how the girl gets married and what happens post marriage. If you remove the 'marriage' part, story would fall flat on its face. For eg ongoing ones like Raaz-e-ulfat, Jalan, MTA. Very few dramas where marriage is not the focus or engine to push forward the storyline. Ones i can think of are Baaghi, Ehd E Wafa, IZN.

Whereas in the popular indian K-serials, it is almost always a post marriage storyline. Bahu and her sasural and then whatever is the story. Masala starts after the girl is bahu... Be it nayi bahu or badi bahu. Importance of shadi is just to make the lead enter the khandaan.😜

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Sticking strictly to the topic of unmarried women in Pakistani drama, one observation i have is that in every drama there is at least one female who is desperate to get married or whose family is desperate to get her married. Even if the drama is a no family, no marriage based story. For eg. Ehd-e-wafa, yeh dil mera, pyar k sadqay, ishq zehnaseeb etc.

Why do girls believe marriage (or made to believe marriage is their ultimate destination. Rani, Mahjabeen look at marriage as an escape from studies and their parents are encouraging it. Aina is engg graduate but her only motivation is to marry Aman and sit at home? Like why girl...go manage apne baap ka business.

Another observation is that in most of the Pakistani dramas, story is around girl n her marriage. Life before marriage, how the girl gets married and what happens post marriage. If you remove the 'marriage' part, story would fall flat on its face. For eg ongoing ones like Raaz-e-ulfat, Jalan, MTA. Very few dramas where marriage is not the focus or engine to push forward the storyline. Ones i can think of are Baaghi, Ehd E Wafa, IZN.

Whereas in the popular indian K-serials, it is almost always a post marriage storyline. Bahu and her sasural and then whatever is the story. Masala starts after the girl is bahu... Be it nayi bahu or badi bahu. Importance of shadi is just to make the lead enter the khandaan.😜

Thank you for joining the discussion.

I agree with you. 😊 I think dramas are mirror of the society. Focussing in one part of a woman's life isn't good. Because women have many things to do in their lives a part from marriage. I felt happy watching Ehd E Wafa , because Dua completed her studies first, then got married.. and had a job. Just like many women in our society which their lives have many aspects. I feel disappointed when they show that a girl has to give up on her studies to get married, or can't continue her job after marriage. Most of Pakistani dramas show that women have to stay at home after marriage. Dramas like Ehd E Wafa , Kashf and Tajdeed E Wafa are rare. 😒

Most of drama viewers are housewives. Drama makers care about TRPs only, that's why they build dramas on married life. 😔 To plz the majority of viewers they show the minority in bad light , like sisters in law , modern girls , or even working ladies.😒

Originally posted by: stardust2011

How old are you, if i may ask. There are so many points in your post i disagree with. I feel your outlook may be because of your age, lack of experience or lack of exposure.

"imagine if you never know what it’s like to be kissed and feel desired, I will feel I’m missing something." no.. You wouldn't miss anything if you never felt the need to feel desired. For eg. Imagine if you never visit Marina Trench, will you feel you missed out on anything? No you wouldn't because you never cared about visiting it in the first place.

There are women who do not feel the "need" as much. They may or may not marry for reasons other than physical companionship.

If sex is the reason a woman needs to marry, how can you guarantee her husband will fulfill her needs? Given how the culture is in our subcontinent, in arranged marriage set up im pretty sure no one discusses sex or sexuality. What if the guy you marry is gay?😬

Sex is definitely not worth marrying someone of opposite gender who brings along in-laws, household responsibilities , decreased choices and giving up freedom, have children etc. 😜

On a side note, How is homosexuality treated in Pakistan? Legal or illegal?

I’m not that old tbh and probably a little bit fluffy in my head. But you see everything around me points to a woman being with a man and many dramas and shows and films on TV show happiness when a woman and a man unite in a romantic way. I know they’re not all like that but then why do you think romantic films, hallmark, Disney, Hollywood and Bollywood romantic films are rewatched all the time? For me is the dream of being with my very own prince. And yes the cynic inside me tells me this is all make-believe and it’s not like that in real life but nevertheless I would still like to experience being with a man.

In Islam though I can only be with a man through marriage, it’s not allowed for me to experience anything before and so although I can be unmarried and happy for a long time, sooner or later I’d want what I’ve seen all around me.

Yes I’m probably immature in my thoughts and yes there are many women who don’t have needs, also I don’t want to go through difficulty to get those needs fulfilled.

“Sex is definitely not worth marrying someone of opposite gender who brings along in-laws, household responsibilities , decreased choices and giving up freedom, have children etc.”

Yes I understand, it’s not worth above, but only someone who’s done it can say that. The others even if they don’t admit it, will wonder about it and want to experience it for real.

Originally posted by: Geraldin

I’m not that old tbh and probably a little bit fluffy in my head. But you see everything around me points to a woman being with a man and many dramas and shows and films on TV show happiness when a woman and a man unite in a romantic way. I know they’re not all like that but then why do you think romantic films, hallmark, Disney, Hollywood and Bollywood romantic films are rewatched all the time? For me is the dream of being with my very own prince. And yes the cynic inside me tells me this is all make-believe and it’s not like that in real life but nevertheless I would still like to experience being with a man.

In Islam though I can only be with a man through marriage, it’s not allowed for me to experience anything before and so although I can be unmarried and happy for a long time, sooner or later I’d want what I’ve seen all around me.

Yes I’m probably immature in my thoughts and yes there are many women who don’t have needs, also I don’t want to go through difficulty to get those needs fulfilled.

“Sex is definitely not worth marrying someone of opposite gender who brings along in-laws, household responsibilities , decreased choices and giving up freedom, have children etc.”

Yes I understand, it’s not worth above, but only someone who’s done it can say that. The others even if they don’t admit it, will wonder about it and want to experience it for real.

Is pre-marital sex looked down upon totally or only for women, in your country/culture? In India too, until recently pre-marital sex was a taboo FOR WOMEN. But now society is opening up and has shown some improvement towards women sexuality.

Originally posted by: Geraldin

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“Sex is definitely not worth marrying someone of opposite gender who brings along in-laws, household responsibilities , decreased choices and giving up freedom, have children etc.”

Yes I understand, it’s not worth above, but only someone who’s done it can say that. The others even if they don’t admit it, will wonder about it and want to experience it for real.

I think many ppl think like you. There's nothing wrong with it. Allah created us as pairs. getting married is important to build the society. Also falling in love and wanting to experience the intimacy come natural in such situations. Islam forbids adultary.. so marriage is the solution. But choose carefully.

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Is pre-marital sex looked down upon totally or only for women, in your country/culture? In India too, until recently pre-marital sex was a taboo FOR WOMEN. But now society is opening up and has shown some improvement towards women sexuality.

In Islam pre-marital sex is forbidden for both men and women . It is considered one of the greatest sins in our religion . However in society you can find ppl who do it. In Pakistani dramas too it was discussed or hinted at in dramas like: Mere Paas Tum Ho , Fitrat .. but the women who commit it are looked down at. So it isn't an option. 😊