||And I'll Keep Trying|| A SaiRat OS
Hatred… anger… resentment… all these feelings engulfed him, knocking the air out of him. He didn’t know if it were possible for a person to hate themselves any further than how much he hated himself now. He simply loathed himself. How could he do this? How on earth could he even think of doing this to her?
“Jaldbaazi mein liye hua faisle, aadmi ko zindagi bhar zakhm de sakta hai… yeh baat mujhe Gadchiroli jaake pata chala…”
“Jo ladki iss sabke zimmedar hai, jiske wajah se yeh sab kuch hua hai, yeh mujhe khaana khilane aayi hai.”
“Akhir tumhe pata chalgaya ki iss ghar mein tumhari jagah kya hai.”
His words rang in his head, firm and clear. Every time he thought about those words, he wanted to die. His own words pierced through his heart like a knife, slowly twisting itself. He didn’t know which was more painful – reliving his own words in his head, or living with the fact that he uttered those words for the rest of his life. Sai would never forgive him. Never in a million years.
Sai… his thoughts turned to the girl he said these words to. The girl whose father sacrificed himself to save his life. The girl whom he swore to protect. The girl whom he married only because of a promise. The girl who entered his life only to wreak havoc in it. The girl who challenged him to be his best self. The girl who slowly made her way into his… heart?
His heart… what did it feel for Sai? What was Sai to him? Who was Sai to him? He had hurt her. He knew that. But why was that very thought haunting him more than ever? Why did the sight of her tears break his heart into a million pieces?
His mind recalled the conversation he had with the DIG earlier in the day.
“Virat, I just wanted to inform you that you’ve been cleared of all charges. Aapke khilaf jo complaint hai, it has been proved baseless. Congratulation Virat. Aap kal se kaam pe aa sakte hain. And on the behalf of the department, I would like to apologize for whatever happened.” said the DIG, as he shook his hand.
Virat couldn’t believe his ears. Just as he had lost all hope, just as he was about to give up and break the news to his family, he got a call from the department that literally changed his life. Miracles do happen after all.
“Lekin sir, kaise?? How did you know that I am innocent? I hadn’t even gathered any evidence yet.”said Virat, trying to remain calm and collected, in case it turned out to be a dream of sorts.
“Well, aapke wife ne aake Vitthal Mane aur uske bete Jagtap Mane ke khilaf testify kar diya hai. In fact, unhone yeh bhi keh diya hai ki Jagtap Mane ne unko kidnap kar diya tha aur unse zabardasti shaadi karne wala tha, lekin aapne aakar unko bacha liya. Unka yeh ek statement kaafi tha, aapko beguna saabit karne ke liye. And we will be getting an arrest warrant for Jagtap Mane soon.”
He remembered how adamant she was when she wanted to go out in the morning. And he remembered all the horrible things he had said to her when she wanted to step out. If he could ever go back in time to change one thing in his life, it would have been this. He would have given anything in this world to take his words back. He had lost her now. Probably forever. And the very thought of it made him want to scream his lungs out. He aimlessly walked about the terrace, not aware of the presence of another soul that was breaking.
~*~
"Aaba, aapne aisa kyun kiya?" Sai nimbly held her father's photo to her chest, while a sob escaped her lips.
"Apni duty nibhate nibhate, beti ko bhul gaye aap. Ab dekho, main kahan phasi hoon. Ek bematlab shaadi mein, ek anjaan ghar mein, jahan log mujhe bilkul pasand nahi karte hai. Meri zindagi, mera pehchaan, sab kuch badal gaya hai aaba. Ab mujhe khud nahi pata main kaun hoon. I'm so lost. Mujhe aapki zaroorat hai aaba, please wapas aa jao." she sunk on the floor, her knees giving away, as she cried her heart out.
She truly felt lost. After she lost her aaba, she didn't know if she would ever bring herself to trust anyone else. But she had. She had grown to trust Virat Chavan, the man who was her husband, the man who stood up for her when no one else did, the man who never went back on his word, the man who literally gave her a new chance at life. She had grown to trust him immensely, only to have it broken.
How could she, for one moment think that things would be alright between them? She knew that they would never have the relationship that any husband-wife might have, but she did believe that they had built an understanding, that they had a common ground. She believed that he actually cared for her. How could she even think that? And now, she was proven wrong, brutally. He not only thought her a burden, but also as a dark shadow, the one who brought darkness into his life. The one responsible for everything bad that happened in his life.
"Sai..." she a voice whisper her name through her muffled sobs. Of course, this was a voice that she had grown so familiar with that she would recognise it in her sleep. It was a voice she had grown to trust, and now, it was a voice she hated.
She turned around to face Virat, the tears in her eyes replaced with pure rage. Her hands clenched into a fist as he walked towards her with a pained expression on his face.
"Sai..." Virat took a step towards her, his hands outstretched, reaching out to her. She stepped back and slapped his hand away in disgust.
"Sai... I'm sorry. Please mujhe maaf kardo." Virat desperately tried to hold her, but every time he got any closer to her, she took a step back, out of his reach.
"Maafi kyun maang rahe hai aap Virat sir?? Maafi tab maangte hain jab humne kuch galat kiya ho. Lekin aapne toh koi galati nahi ki hai na. What ever you said to me, it wasn't a mistake. You meant every word of it." Sai spoke up, her voice strangely calm, yet firm. And Virat didn't like it one bit.
"Sai... mujhe pata hai ki maine jo kaha, galat hai. Gusse mein kuch keh diya maine. I know ki tum hurt ho. I'm so sorry. I'll never hurt you again. Bhas ek chance do mujhe." She was slipping away from his hand, and he knew it. No. He couldn't lose her. Not now, not ever.
"Hurt?? Nahi Virat sir. Main hurt nahi hoon. Bhas disappointed hoon, woh bhi apne aap se. Kyunki maine socha ki aap acche aur imaandaar insaan hai. I'm just disappointed that I chose to trust you. Hurt toh nahi hoon main Virat sir. Hurt toh hum unse hote hain, jinhe hum apna maante hain." Her every word felt like a bullet on his heart, but he knew that he deserved it this time.
"Sai... please. Tum mujhse naraz ho. Theek hai. Tum chillao mujhpe, thappad bhi maro, lekin aise baat mat karo. Hamare kamre mein chalo. I'll fix this." Virat broke down, desperately praying that she listens. He needed her. He couldn't let her drift away from him.
"Nahi Virat sir. Main aapke kamre mein nahi aaungi. Bhool gaye kya? Aakhir mujhe pata chal hi gaya ki iss ghar mein meri jagah kahan hai?" If thinking about what he said to Sai hurt him, her throwing the same words back at him just broke him.
No. He had had enough. He couldn't let her go on like this. He had hurt her, and he'll put it right. He'll win her trust, and earn her respect, all over again. But he wouldn't let her go.
His hand reach out to hers and pulled her close, startling her. Just as she was about to protest, his arm snaked around her waist, securing her to him. Slowly, he brought his head down, and rested his forehead against hers. He could feel her struggling in his grasp for a few seconds before she gave up.
Virat felt a strange sense of peace that he never felt in a long time. All the agitation and desperation he felt vanished into thin air, and was replaced by a blazing warmth.
"Kya aapko sach mein lagta hai ki main aapke life mein musibat laati hoon?" Sai voice broke the silence, while a lone tear escaped her eyes. Virat looked at her, pain etched across his face. At that moment, she just seemed so broken... so vulnerable. How could he even think of hurting her?
Before he could bring himself to answer, Sai went on. "Aaba ke jaane baad, maine socha ki main bilkul akeli hoon. Aur koi nahi hai mere saath. Lekin aap meri life aa gaye. Mujhe sahara diya. Aaba ke jaane ke baad mujhe laga ki main kisi aur pe kabhi bharosa nahi kar paaungi, lekin main galat thi. You were always there. And you taught me to trust again. Lekin kal, aapne mera bharosa thod diya Virat sir. How can I bring myself to trust you again?" Sai tried to push Virat away from her, but in vain.
"Sai... maine tumhara bharosa thoda hai, tumhe bohot dhukh pohonchaya hai. I know that. Aur sorry ke alawa main kuch aur nahi keh sakta. But I'll fix this Sai. I'll earn your trust again. Please, mujhe sirf ek chance do. Mujhse aise door mat jao." Virat slowly caressed her face, wiping the tears that streamed down her eyes.
"Mere paas rehne se ya door jaane se aapko kya farak padta hai Virat sir?" asked Sai, making him look up.
"Farak padta hai Sai. Bohot farak padta hai. Yeh mat poochna ki kyun farak padta hai, kyunki mere paas iska jawab nahi hai. Main sirf itna jaanta hoon ki mujhe tumhari zaroorat hai. I need you with me. Please hamare kamre mein chalo."
Virat tried to snake his arms around her waist again, but she stopped him.
"Maine abhi tak aapko maaf nahi kiya hai Virat sir. Main aapke kamre mein nahi aaungi." Sai pulled away from him, looking him square in the eyes. She wasn't okay yet. He knew that. But he also knew that she was on her way to forgiving him.
"And I'll keep trying Sai. I'll keep trying until I put things right. Aur main tumhara bharosa bhi jeet lunga ek din. Aur main tumhe kabhi hurt nahi karunga. Ek din tum khud mere paas aaoge, aur kahoge ki tum mujhpe bharosa karte ho, aur tum apne kamre mein wapas aana chahte ho. And I'll wait till then."
~*~
A/N
Hey guys!! I'm back with another OS again😆. I know, I know. Horrible. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't sleep last night, and I just sat and typed this thing out. Aur ab kar hi liya, so I thought I'll post it. I know that it's too angsty, so please maaf kardo😳
Okay, I'm ready for the jhootas and tomatoes and andas now Aur saath mein koi feedback hai, toh woh bhi de dena😉.
P.S. I've also written an OS on Samrat - Pakhi, because I honestly love the idea of that couple. Shall I post that too??🤓
Love you guys (my dear forum waasis, and immature people🤗)
Niya
(an immature SaiRat shipper)
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