Anupama's idea of a good mother

I have been thinking lately. And what I have been thinking is why have I always been supportive of Anupama. Maybe because she is someone who respects and loves others and is fiercely protective of her family.

But excess of everything is bad. Agreed that she has given her whole life to the Shah family, but while doing that she worshipped an abusive husband, and over pampered her kids out of which two are kidzillas now.

Like a lot of people here I cringe at her spoonfeeding her grownup kids. And what I cringe more at is that she thinks that's what a good mother must do! She accused Rakhi of not being a good mother by not supporting Kinjal and Paritosh's relationship. She literally said "Aap acchi maa nahi ban payi" How could she be a judge of any mother? Every mother has the right to protect their children.

And as far as I remember, it was Kinjal's parents who first wanted to meet Paritosh's family. But the drama that she witnessed when she visited them, any sane mother would not want her daughter to be wedded in that family.

The boy and his father project someone else as the mother and when the real mother is there, she is rebuked, ridiculed and treated as a maid!!! And that woman is accusing her of not granting her daughter's wish?

As rude as Rakhi is I still support her on this matter!

I agree with all points about Anu deriving her purpose for living being able to fulfil the needs of all around het. She had to start treating her kids as adults.

Rakhi spares no efforts in humiliating all around her . She and baa are alike.

What Anu tried to make Rakhi see was that Kinjal was happy with Toshu.

Baa is over protective to her Ghar ka Chirags be it vanraj or Toshu.

In a joint family with cantankerous people like Baa and V it is very difficult to discipline children if people like Baa and Vanraj deliberately try to belittle Anu.

Pakhi and Toshu are only keen to have their needs fulfilled and are willing to disown Anu to have the opportunistic Kavya substitute Anu.

These undermine Anu in the eyes of the children Kavya and Rakhi.

Dolly who could have stood by her too finds it convenient to get her family baby sit her daughter.

Originally posted by: sillibilli

I have been thinking lately. And what I have been thinking is why have I always been supportive of Anupama. Maybe because she is someone who respects and loves others and is fiercely protective of her family.

But excess of everything is bad. Agreed that she has given her whole life to the Shah family, but while doing that she worshipped an abusive husband, and over pampered her kids out of which two are kidzillas now.

Like a lot of people here I cringe at her spoonfeeding her grownup kids. And what I cringe more at is that she thinks that's what a good mother must do! She accused Rakhi of not being a good mother by not supporting Kinjal and Paritosh's relationship. She literally said "Aap acchi maa nahi ban payi" How could she be a judge of any mother? Every mother has the right to protect their children.

And as far as I remember, it was Kinjal's parents who first wanted to meet Paritosh's family. But the drama that she witnessed when she visited them, any sane mother would not want her daughter to be wedded in that family.

The boy and his father project someone else as the mother and when the real mother is there, she is rebuked, ridiculed and treated as a maid!!! And that woman is accusing her of not granting her daughter's wish?

As rude as Rakhi is I still support her on this matter!

I agree! I get that Rakhi can be very crass while arguing and there’s no defence for abusing the Shahs like that.. But what she’s saying is not wrong! Paritosh is not a very good person. Chalo ek baar ko, we understand that you can’t judge a guy by what his father does, BUT YOU CAN IF HE SUPPORTED HIS FATHER! She is not wrong in saying that Paritosh can defend himself also if he does something like this in the future. Anupama is the DIL of the family, and so will Kinjal be, if she marries toshu. Which mother would want their daughter to be treated like Anupama was by her family? I love kinjal and Anu’s bond, but Paritosh is awful. Rakhi is absolutely bang on in saying he doesn’t deserve Kinjal!

Anupama shouldn't be lecturing others on how to be a good mother, when her own kids are selfish assholes (except for Samar), only bcoz of her constant babying & pampering.

Rakhi is absolutely right. Kinjal deserves better than Toshu, who doesn't even respect his own mother.

With Kinjal's point I totally agree. She deserves someone who is better than Toshu.

Though I like Anu Kinjal's bond but that doesn't mean she has to marry toshu. If she is getting better option she has to go forward.

See anupama is thinking from her own angle and rakhi is thinking from own angle

If we think from rakhi pov then her fear and her worry about daughter is right

And if think from anupama pov that she is not also wrong because no mother will think negative thought about her children

Rakhi may think that paritosh will cheat kinjal just like vanraj but anupama cannot think such way that her son will cheat kinjal just like vanraj

. To anupama and rakhi apni apni jagah sahi hain

I think instead of blamimg each other and both rakhi and anupama should under stand mother feeling of each other

It is ok rakhi dont want to marry kinjal but ek maa ke naate dono anupama aur rakhi ek doosre ko samajh to sakte hain

Anupamaa thinks Kinjal is too good for Paritosh and wants her at all costs.

Rakhi thinks Paritosh is not good enough for Kinjal and wants to get rid of him at all costs.

Both are being good mothers and want best for their children.

Easily proven here. Instead of complaining about the tyranny of her mother, Kinjal respects her decision while still caring for Anupamaa and refuses to re-wear the ring while Paritosh still hasn't taken it off.

Rakhi ne bhi to judge kiya anupama ko ki paise ke liye sautan ko. Sehli bana leti hai . Paise ke liye sautan ko husband ke saath share karti hain.

Yeh sub raakhi ka anupama ke baare mein kehna galat tha . Bina sachaai jaane rakhi ko anupama ke baare mein aisa nahin bolna chahiye tha ki paise ke liye husband ke saath sautan share karti hain

Rakhi ne kal anupama ke baare mein bahut galat baatein boli hain

Pehle vanraj pakhi aur paritosh anupama pe false blame lagate they. Phir kavya ne uspar blame lagaya, ab rakhi ne us par false blame lagaya

Rakhi is correct form her point of view. She wants to protect Kinjal and don't want to see Kinjal in a similar situation as Anupama.

But what Rakhi said about Anupama and her dependence on Vanraj was wrong.

I don't understand why everyone still despise Anupama and making her feel that she is wrong in some way or the other. I thought after the confrontation and after everyone will get to know about Vanraj's affair they will support Anupama and will become her strength in tough situations. But here she is the one who is still supporting everyone, understanding everyone's feelings and yet nobody (except some) understand her feelings, nobody is standing up for Anupama or helping her fight in these bad games played by Vanraj. Even Rakhi could have supported her but she also thinks that it's because of Anupama's blind trust on Vanraj all this happened.

Neither the kids (except Samar) , nor Baa understand her feelings. She is the one whose cheated upon by her husband when she trusted him blindly for 25 years. They don't feel her sorrow or sadness that they should at least give her some time to be strong and at least for some time not make her feel miserable by talking about Vanraj but they are busy showing their own sorrows of being away form their son, or father...indirectly making Anupmaa the reason of their sadness.

Originally posted by: Disha2712

Rakhi is correct form her point of view. She wants to protect Kinjal and don't want to see Kinjal in a similar situation as Anupama.

But what Rakhi said about Anupama and her dependence on Vanraj was wrong.

I don't understand why everyone still despise Anupama and making her feel that she is wrong in some way or the other. I thought after the confrontation and after everyone will get to know about Vanraj's affair they will support Anupama and will become her strength in tough situations. But here she is the one who is still supporting everyone, understanding everyone's feelings and yet nobody (except some) understand her feelings, nobody is standing up for Anupama or helping her fight in these bad games played by Vanraj. Even Rakhi could have supported her but she also thinks that it's because of Anupama's blind trust on Vanraj all this happened.

Neither the kids (except Samar) , nor Baa understand her feelings. She is the one whose cheated upon by her husband when she trusted him blindly for 25 years. They don't feel her sorrow or sadness that they should at least give her some time to be strong and at least for some time not make her feel miserable by talking about Vanraj but they are busy showing their own sorrows of being away form their son, or father...indirectly making Anupmaa the reason of their sadness.

That point should be consider by everyone. But here like reverse situation. Still Anupama supporting Everyone.