*Discussion Of The Week #5 Cousin Marriages In Pakistani Dramas* - Page 3

Originally posted by: awida

I wonder if girls fall in love with their cousins only beause they are the only ajnabi men they can interact with because of our social norms which doesn't allow socializing between both sexes. I can't see how can I fall for a cousin specially when we live in the same house! In Pakistani dramas they can shift from addressing their cousins as bhais to marrying them . I found ( Jo Tu Chahe) funny for this only.

Yeah in our society cousins do fall in love with each other.

I am happy that your relatives lead a happy life. In my family there are such cases in which children suffer medical troubles because of relatives marriages. My cousin is married to a relative who is a distant cousin to her. They have 6 children : 3 of them have have Cerebal Palsy.😒

Yes Ma shaa Allah they are happy though they passed from difficult phase.

Oh that's sad. I pray for good health of their children.

Originally posted by: awida

I pray that you have a gr8 married life Seher.

Yes. In my country too. Cousin marriages are the most common. It is even considered an insult when your cousin ignores you and marry a girl of his choice. I remember a problem happened when a guy from our family proposed a girl of his choice. After the engagement was cancelled. He proposed his cousin. But his uncle rejected him saying that he insulted them by proposing another girl first. Later his brother got married to the same cousin.

This story reminds me of drama Mere humrahi.

I agree. In dramas parents are shown forcing their children to get married to their cousins. If they refuse the get kicked of of the house, or their parents threaten to disown them. Diyar E Dil , Teri Bina , or even Kuch Na Kaho (Ainy's first husband) parents blackmailed their sons to get married to their cousins. 😔 The good part is that in many of these dramas forced cousin marriage doesn't work. 😊

There are many dramas where cousins are in love with each other but families are not allowing them to marry with each other like Qaid e Tanhai and Kase e dil.

Originally posted by: _NINA_

There are many dramas where cousins are in love with each other but families are not allowing them to marry with each other like Qaid e Tanhai and Kase e dil.

I didn't watch QET . But in, Saza E Ishq too Humayoun Ashraf's mom opposed his marriage with his cousin : Anmol Baloch.😊 also in NEB Sarah's family wasn't keen in getting her married to her cousin: Azfu. Untill he used : kala Jadoo.😆 Main Na Janoo is another example.😃

It is a good change to see families oppose to cousin marriages. Although in most of these kases anemity between elders are the main reason.😔

Originally posted by: awida

Oh , I didn't know that you are suffering from a shoulder pain. May Allah grants you speed recovery.

I am glad that her husband is converting to Islam. I hope this helps her getting forgiven by her parents.

It is an old tradition here to marry your cousin. And I think everybody is mentally prepared for it. I think it is the same in Pakistan. Dramas keep promoting it. I think it is easier for a girl to adjust in her uncle or aunt's house, because they are from the same family. They have the same living habits, and roots. But it is not necessary that the easier things are the most favoured ones.

Originally posted by: sami011

hmm what can i say..not allowed in our culture, cannot even marry person from same last name or same village .

Oh. So how can you get married then? It is too difficult to go and search for a groom from another place, how can you make sure he'll be a good husband when you don't know eachother well? 🤓 You mean north India , na? Sikh or Hindu culture?

but i consider myself expert in Pakistani dramas lol

Yes. I too became an expert.😆 But our culture is almost the same, except that rishta comes from the boy's parents , not the opposite, and there's no jahaz or dowery paid from the girl's side.😃

I agree they cause conflict in many families now a days. Loads of my Muslim friends don't marry cousins because of medical reasons .

Here too ppl prefer not to get married to relatives to avoid fights among the family, in case the couple have problems in their marriage.😊

I think it is mind set from centuries one way or other.

Of course. When I read poetry and history of incient Arabs I read about many ppl who got married to their cousins, many poets wrote about their beloved cousins, and it seems like Arabs were always obssessed with the family name and the purity of their origions.

Non-Muslim, Non-Pakistani here

At the risk of aounding offensive, first cousin marriage to me were 'gross' (sorry but that's what i felt when i heard of it initially in the Pakistani dramas). Because to me, my first cousins are also like my biological brother. To have to imagine marrying one of them, that thought was very repulsive to me PERSONALLY.

In India, cousin marriages are usually looked down upon. however, there are some weird permitted relations where marriages can ocvur within family.

In one of the southern states, Kerala, girl can marry her paternal aunty aka Bua's son. Which means the boy can marry his maternal uncle aka Mama's daughter. This is the only permissible first cousin marriage. This one is genetically safer because the boy & girl will not be from the same set chromosomes (X and Y).

In another state, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh/Telangana , girl can marry her mother's brother. This to me is repulsive too. Here too i think genetically it is okay because of the same above mentioned reason.

In northern india, one doesn't marry boy/girl from the same "gothra" (almost like family tree).

Having born and brought up in a culture where cousins are luke siblings, cousin marriage is a difficult pill to swallow. The only representation i have seen is Pakistani dramas which only make it look worse. In every drama there is atleast one mother of a young girl who is looking to "pounce" onto the most eligible ladka in khandaan, by hook or crook. Imagine how it low key damages the who family equation with every uncle/aunty going gaga over 1 boy who is educated, good looking. Whereas rest of the boys and their moms wait to pick the best out of the remaining cousin girls, after the 'in-demand' guy has made his choice. Like i said, i have no idea how it works in real life life... Allmy expert knowledge is from Pakistani dramas. 😂

Originally posted by: stardust2011

Non-Muslim, Non-Pakistani here

At the risk of aounding offensive, first cousin marriage to me were 'gross' (sorry but that's what i felt when i heard of it initially in the Pakistani dramas). Because to me, my first cousins are also like my biological brother. To have to imagine marrying one of them, that thought was very repulsive to me PERSONALLY.

In India, cousin marriages are usually looked down upon. however, there are some weird permitted relations where marriages can ocvur within family.

In one of the southern states, Kerala, girl can marry her paternal aunty aka Bua's son. Which means the boy can marry his maternal uncle aka Mama's daughter. This is the only permissible first cousin marriage. This one is genetically safer because the boy & girl will not be from the same set chromosomes (X and Y).

In another state, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh/Telangana , girl can marry her mother's brother. This to me is repulsive too. Here too i think genetically it is okay because of the same above mentioned reason.

In northern india, one doesn't marry boy/girl from the same "gothra" (almost like family tree).

Having born and brought up in a culture where cousins are luke siblings, cousin marriage is a difficult pill to swallow. The only representation i have seen is Pakistani dramas which only make it look worse. In every drama there is atleast one mother of a young girl who is looking to "pounce" onto the most eligible ladka in khandaan, by hook or crook. Imagine how it low key damages the who family equation with every uncle/aunty going gaga over 1 boy who is educated, good looking. Whereas rest of the boys and their moms wait to pick the best out of the remaining cousin girls, after the 'in-demand' guy has made his choice. Like i said, i have no idea how it works in real life life... Allmy expert knowledge is from Pakistani dramas. 😂

Thank you for the informations. It is strange that although I am a big fan of Indian movies I didn't understand that cousin marriages is forbidden.😲

I can understand how you feel about cousin marriages. I feel the same reading about siblings marriages in the history of ancient Egyptians. 😃

I remembered once I watched an Indian movie in which a boy and a girl where in love. Her father too was in love with his mother. So one of the couples only could get married. I kept wondering why it was wrong for both the couples to get married ! 😕

Originally posted by: awida

Thank you for the informations. It is strange that although I am a big fan of Indian movies I didn't understand that cousin marriages is forbidden.😲

I can understand how you feel about cousin marriages. I feel the same reading about siblings marriages in the history of ancient Egyptians. 😃

I remembered once I watched an Indian movie in which a boy and a girl where in love. Her father too was in love with his mother. So one of the couples only could get married. I kept wondering why it was wrong for both the couples to get married ! 😕

bold: that would be wrong in any culture not just India

Originally posted by: awida

Of course. When I read poetry and history of ancient Arabs I read about many ppl who got married to their cousins, many poets wrote about their beloved cousins, and it seems like Arabs were always obssessed with the family name and the purity of their origins.

Problems happen if intermarriges are happening from centuries so inbreeding increases , like in Saudi royal family they have hearing issues in male childern.

but since it is religious thing for so many I don't judge it one way or other..but in arabs from jahalia time loads of culture is same in Muslims..even names predate but now they are considered Muslim names,so am sure they were marrying cousins before too

Apparently research shows that marriage in the same race also increases risk of birth defects. So cousin marriages cannnot be solely blamed. There are so many kids in other religions who do not even practice cousin marriages but still have birth defects