Originally posted by: Shelly_392
It's all about parenting in India whose standards have gone to the gutter for majority. I think the situation where India stands right now is educated, service class parents want their kids, be it girl or a boy, to be financially and emotionally independent. These are usually service class people in India.
Cut to a pole apart scenario: Indian businessmen families. Their parents, even though might be slightly educated but bring up their sons as kings but daughters as maids. Want to get them married early at around 21-23 and get that job dusted. Boys grow up like prince who have the right to control everyone, specially wife's emotions, in their house and have freedom to do anything w/o anyone questioning them or blaming them. Plus, here MIL's are such big craps. They grow up being dominated by husbands and in-laws can't now tolerate the fact the their bahu can get so much freedom in these changing modern times. Hence, all the problem pops up.
Sorry to say but being from Northern India, I have experienced this situation in every household, be it middle class or upper class. However, I have heard things vary a lot in case of South India. What are your views people?
Well, I won't call myself either from North or from the South. My state is in a rather, middle layer of India.
So I am from middle class small 'businessmen' family. If I would have read this post a few years back I would have been surprised - Aren't all those things old-time tales? Like from Ekta Kapoor drama?
What changed in the last few years is I got out of my State for further education and work. And I met people from all over India.
I learned dowry still exists(People don't call cops for god's sake!), I learned: people still treat a girl very badly compare to a boy. People still question and comment on girls wearing jeans! People consider it bad when a girl can't cook!? People make a big issue when a girl comes late from her work! (Any unmarried or married)
The place I come from, rich or poor - service layer or business - people have been changing for the past few decades and things have been changing for good. I sometimes tease my younger brother - that if he can't cook he won't get a girl! and I never heard him say back that I am a boy, why should I? he just laughs and says I will learn when the time comes.
So you are right when you say parenting matters, but I agree with another post as well that many people are changing. I have met many different people, luckily most don't follow boys are kings thingy! Most listen to their kids (including DIL)
I am not married yet, but these sentiments are quite common among the elders I have come across.
Why you treat your girl better - because she will get married soon and then a part of her happiness will depend on her inlaws.
Why you treat your Bahu better - because she left her family, has been away from them, and has been adjusting to ours. And above all - if you treat a girl badly it is a bad deed (a Paap).
Society gossips very badly if someone treats their bahu wrong! The whole reputation is bound to go down in the gutter. (Such families usually have a hard time finding an arranged marriage for their other kids - specifically boys - because talking a daughter from such a family is fine but giving one NAH a big no!)
The common notion is, treat others like you want others to treat you. (Two way street for everyone) This specific generation is more advance than the previous. Trust me this current generation, girls usually fight back! Educated or not, most girls won't take sh*t quietly.
PS: I think 'Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao', this whole thing has helped lot of girls and their parents. To do better and be better!
PPS: I know I can't talk for all, girls who are having hard times - change begins from you. It is hard but its possible.
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