Hi guys! Just to let you know that I have zero knowledge of Bengali, I just googled😆 also it's an OS so please don't request to extend it because I won't.
Lost in Time
OS
When I finally reached India, it was like coming back to my mother. The feeling was so overwhelming that I couldn't control my tears. I knew that one day I will almost regret for not being there, in my nation when it needed me. I was selfish, I think I still am.
Things hadn't changed much, I can still feel it. Though now my hands and legs don't have much strength but still I can feel the air. It's warm and welcoming. I almost feel guilty for abandoning it so many years back for my selfish gain. For love or whatever it was.
Love is such a beautiful term and to associate it with her seems to malign it. I don't think that I ever felt so much of anguish for anybody in my entire life. It was one mistake that I think I committed in haste.
I loved her and felt she loved me too, but things change hen we start to live with other. The facades are dropped and real face is revealed. I wish I had that power To understand.
I have decided that I will stay at my house for the rest of my life,whatever is left of it. Though I know that now no one is there waiting for me, or to welcome me. Well, I don't expect them too. So many things have changed. Som went on to become India's most sought after lawyer, batuk waned to become the big zamindar but when. India became a free country that right was taken and instead whatever was left with it he opened a small company which now is souring till the sky.
Though I know that they are not going to be thrilled that I am back especially when I didn't informed them. It was silly of me not to, but I didn't feel that I should bother them. Things have really changed and we have grown apart, we seldom talk and never meet.
As I saw a carriage, and gave a hand and sat in the it. It's similar to Victoria but smaller and closed. I like my privacy, even now. It gives me time to mull over things, things of past, things of present and also things which I don't want to think about.
The roads are still the same, scenery is beautiful. People are wearing dhoti kurta, traditional of Bengal. They look so content like they have achieved something from the independence. It all seems like a dream to me. I cannot believe that I am in a free country. I belong to a free country.
The journey is quest long but we reach my 2 PM. As I pay and enter the house, I feel similar warmth. A warmth that was lost since I shifted to London with my wife. I remember kaka ji, baba, batuk and Som.... Even Bihari. And....he trailed off as he remembered someone long lost from hia memories. His heart thumped loudly as her thought crossed his mind. Was she still in Tulsipur? Or she left? Did she marry? How was she now? Her thoughts drained his energy and he felt immediate need to sit. He reached over the dining area and pulled of th chairs and sat down.
Her thought never crossed his mind up until then. He remembered clearly that he told everyone of his decision to marry Mini and left her. He tried to reason that she was just his responsibility and nothing more. Besides she has her full life ahead of her. That she should move on too. He only hoped that she would have. After all why she would be waiting. She was too young. Only a girl.
It was almost evening when someone knocked his bedroom door. He reluctantly turned towards it while still lying down and said,"bhitar aashchi"
Som and batuk entered his room. And he expected both looked puzzled but not displeased. It was an unexpected turn, he thought.
"Dada.. aap achanak?" Batuk asked.
"Haan! Kyun main yahan nahi aa sakta?" Ani answered
"Nahi mera matlab woh nahi tha... Matlab agar aap bata dete toh hum aapko lene aate airport." Son said clarifying.
"Koi baat nahi... Maine isiliye nahi bataya ke kahin tum log pareshaan na ho jao." Ani said now sitting on bed.
"Dada, woh dinner ready hai... Aap aaiye.." batuk said
Ani nodded. He didn't know why he was feeling so cutoff from his previous life. Like everything that he belonged to changed. He sometimes did wondered that if he hadn't left home and her... Would it been bad? The answer of which he always gave but today it was different. He was feeling repercussions of his decision.
He came down and dinner went in silence. It was not an uncomfortable silence but a silence which tells clearly that no one was interested to talk or initiate talking. He understood that they need time and he ate his dinner in silence when all he wanted to to talk, there were so many things he wanted to know about, but for now he must settle in.
After that dinner few days went by easily where similar rountine was followed. One day he was sitting in the garden and it was 3 in the evening. When he heard the sound of anklets. It was soothing to her ears and immediately he turned and took her in.
He immediately recognised her, even with her wrinkled face he could know that it was her. But it was the recognition that gave him the biggest shock of his life.
"Bondita?" Was all he could utter.
"Pati babu" as if in acknowledgement. Her voice was so void of any warmth. He had always felt the warmth of her innocent affection towards him and now this cold reply shocked him.
"Tum yahan kaise?" He asked, almost immediately regretting.
"Mai yahan nahi toh kahan milungi?" She said " ek patni apne pati ke ghar hi rehti hai shaadi ke baad."
"Matlab? Kiski patni?" He asked
"Aapki"
"Ye tum kya bol rahi ho? Bondita I told you to marry!" He almost yelled.
"Aapke liye ye gudde gudiya ka khel hoga, par mere liye isse bada sachh koi nahi hai." She smiled and turned back and left.
Ani's heart sank as he saw her moving towards the entrance. She was here, she never moved on.
What have I done!!
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Okay now peeps, its my first write up after like 5-6 yrs. Do tell me how was it.
I am half asleep and don't know about the errors I have made for I don't have enough energy to proofread.
Thanks a lot great reader for reading it.
Do tell me how you found it.
