Amazing piece written by our very own RTH.đ
https://www.returntohades.com/2020/09/15/misogyny-patriarchy-and-the-indian-media-circus/
For a long time, I have refrained from posting at length about Sushant Singh Rajput. Other than a few occasional posts, I have taken a step back from diving into the narrative. A large part of it has been out of respect for his fans. People need space to grieve. I wanted to give space to the people he impacted the most to celebrate his life, accomplishments, and care for each other through tough times. Although I disagreed with some aspects of the nepotism narrative, I didnât find it a big issue. Despite the nepotism debate, mental health awareness was still a significant part of the conversation. I was willing to forgive some of the vile and vicious commentaries as people lashing out in grief. Surely people would not be so spiteful in a more reasonable state of mind. Also, I am not a PR representative for any celebrities. They can put me on their payroll if they want PR from me.
However, off late, the conversation has taken dangerous and problematic turns. Political parties are exploiting an unfortunate tragedy to take potshots at each other and gain political mileage. The news media is callously ignoring the nationâs floundering GDP, skyrocketing COVOD cases, and trouble with China to fuel and stoke a media circus. Everyone is spewing out sinister conspiracy theories about âmurderâ that have snowballed to include money laundering and a drug empire.
Mental health has disappeared off everyoneâs radar. But the worst is the misogyny that has set up Sushant Singh Rajputâs ex-girlfriend as the villain. I hope to refocus on mental health and explain why the case has taken a dangerously misogynistic turn.
Letâs talk about mental health.
One of my primary reasons to write was to recenter the conversation on mental health. Mental health is a taboo in India. Suicide is the leading cause of death for 15 to 39 year olds in India. Thousands of Indian youth suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Yet, scant attention is paid to what should be recognized as a national health crisis. People continue to discuss mental health in hushed whispers. Families will repress and hide instances of mental illness due to the stigma. Many individuals, too, will deny their diagnoses and avoid medication. Society continues to view mental health in a derogatory light.
Sushant Singh Rajputâs death was an opportunity to shed light on mental health. A successful young man felt the need to hide his diagnosis and eventually succumbed to his illness. It should have shaken a nation out of its denial. It seemed like a turning point where Indians would finally approach mental health with maturity and an open mind. I understand why people have a hard time believing this and I accept that there is a remote possibility that foul play maybe involved. But the notion that suicide is impossible and out of the question is a dangerous one. Until Indians start paying attention to mental health thousands of bright youth with great futures ahead will succumb to their mental illness.
Depression and mental illness can affect anyone.
Mental health does not discriminate. It can affect people of any age, race, ethnicity, income bracket, social status, or gender. Although some populations may be more vulnerable, anyone can have a mental illness. Even the brightest, smartest, talented, and most successful people who have everything one could want can have depression or other mental illness.
Mental health does not depend on success or failure.
There is a common misconception that people with depression are somehow failing in life and that successful people are immune from depression. Mental health does not work that way. People can succeed at everything, meet all their life goals, have everything they want, and still be depressed. On the other hand, some people can experience numerous setbacks and still feel happy and fulfilled.
Another dangerous aspect of tying happiness to success â is the pressure to succeed and its toll on Indians. But the Asian F is a whole another can of worms for another time.
There arenât always telltale signs of mental illness.
It is a dangerous misconception that people with depression will outwardly display their misery and sadness. Most people with mental illnesses are highly functional. They could be anybody. They live and work just like the rest of us. They laugh, hang out with friends, have a close-knit social circle, and can appear genuinely happy.
I used to believe that you could tell someone was unhappy or depressed, that there would be signs all along. Thanks to mental health advocates and people opening about their mental health journey, I now know better. I would have never imagined that some people had depression or anxiety if they did not open up. We need to listen to them and open our minds about mental health. Stop assuming that a smile means everything is fine. Start actively destigmatizing mental health. Even if we donât recognize the signs we can be supportive allies. We can encourage people to seek help and let them know that they donât always have to put on a brave front. There is no shame in falling apart or seeking help.
You cannot will away mental illness.
There are many self-help and fitness quacks out there who make dangerous claims about mental health. They peddle all sorts of cures for mental illness, from diet and exercise to meditation and herbal medicine. While exercise, nutrition, and meditation can help mental and emotional well-being â they do not cure mental illness. Even elite athletes with peak fitness levels can experience depression. Mental illnesses are like any other ailment. They need to be diagnosed and treated by a mental health professional. Lifestyle changes are meant to complement treatment, not substitute for them. Donât assume that a healthy lifestyle makes you immune or can cure mental illness. Always seek professional help.
You cannot always pinpoint a trigger for suicidal thoughts or suicide.
Suicide does not have a simple cause and effect explanation. There is no single event or person that can singlehandedly trigger suicide or suicidal thoughts. Our minds are extremely complicated in their design and function. There are multiple factors that can trigger suicidal thoughts or suicide. Sometimes they are influenced by nature â ingrained in a personâs brain chemistry that needs to be treated, a traumatic brain injury or stroke, or side effects from medication. Sometimes it is influenced by nurture â upbringing, lifestyle, substance abuse, family, friends, interests & hobbies, religious beliefs, and so much more. These factors interconnect and influence people inc complex ways. You cannot always pinpoint and blame someone or some event.
The point is not to absolve bullies or say bullying or negative forces but to point our that there are always multiple factors at play. For example, LGBTQ youth who have supportive friends & family or access to a supportive community can find ways to be resilient and cope with bullying. On the other hand, closeted LGBTQ teens in homophobic environments may be suicidal despite having a loving family.
So when Sushant Singh Rajputâs family and some fans state that he could not be depressed because he was laughing and smiling, they are giving into dangerous misconceptions about depression. When people say that he was successful with a bright future and couldnât feel depressed, they create a false correlation between success and mental health. Similarly, blaming nepotism or box office failure for suicide completely ignores friends, family, and his support systems. The media outlets that buy into these arguments and spin alternate conspiracy theories fail to perform their duty to provide information and facts. Instead, they are misleading and misinforming the masses and creating a dangerous non-supportive society for people with mental health challenges.
What is with the misogyny?
What finally compelled me to write on this is the increasing misogyny. It was so vile and vicious that I often wanted to scream at my screen. I canât even begin to fathom the trauma Rhea Chakraborty is experiencing.
Many people are confused about why the treatment of Rhea Chakraborty is an example of misogyny. Shouldnât law enforcement investigate deaths, including suicide, to make sure there is no foul play? Isnât the significant other always scrutinized in suspicious deaths? If the deceasedâs family believed the girlfriend might have driven him to suicide, shouldnât it be investigated? How can you cry misogyny when itâs due process?
The problem is that there is no due process being followed. It has become a media circus and a witch hunt. There is no proof that Sushant Singh Rajput was murdered or that his ex-girlfriend Rhea Chakraborty was behind it. The law states that that people are innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. All suspects have a right to humane treatment and a fair trial. Rhea Chakraborty is being denied her fundamental rights.
Hysterical media outlets and frenzied fans are acting as judge, jury, and executioner. They have declared her guilty via media trial. Republic TV especially is guilty of passing on suspicions and conspiracy theories as facts. They have lied by omission, manipulated statements out of context, and even fabricated evidence. Rhea Chakraborty has been harassed, abused, and even been subject to rape threats on the internet. Even offline, there is no respite. Reporters have been camping out and stalking her for months. They mob her and her family when they leave their house. They have gone as far as even accosting food delivery personnel and domestic help. Despite there being a global pandemic, she had to wade through a sea of reporters piling on her as she walked to her hearing.
The entire unfolding of events reeks of the misogyny embedded in Indiaâs patriarchy. India is a country where sons are placed on a pedestal as pristine, pure, and perfect human beings. Each man is the good son who can do no wrong. He has no flaws or issues. If he makes any mistakes â other people, usually the wife or girlfriend, cause him to do it. Any character flaws or vices are not his own but thrust upon him by his wife or girlfriend.
Rhea Chakraborty surrounded by a mob of journalists
People are unwilling to believe that a bright, intelligent, and promising young star lived with depression and bipolar disorder that eventually took his life â despite the police initially ruling it as an open and shut suicide case.
Instead, they believe that his ex-girlfriend Rhea Chakraborty seduced him with black magic, manipulated him, estranged him from his family, stole thousands from him, cheated on him with her mentor, used mental illness as an excuse to keep him drugged, forced him to smoke pot and illicit substances, and eventually conspired to murder him by using her influential friends and politicians to buy out the police â and stick by this claim despite there being no evidence so far.
There is a clear double standard in how people judge Rhea vs. Sushant. For example, evidence shows that Sushant Singh Rajput smoked pot and asked people to procure it. But only Rhea deserves to be criminally charged â because there is no possible way the good boy from Bihar had vices â she must have forced or manipulated him.
In 2020, some people continue to see women as gold-digging seductresses. Any woman who does not conform to the expectation of a docile, submissive woman who bends to her manâs will is a femme fatale out to ruin him.
All this is the misogyny in its full blazing glory. Yet, people who point out the double standard are abused and harassed.
Calling out misogyny does not mean giving Rhea a free pass. No one is denying the need for a thorough investigation. No one is demanding that Rhea be eliminated as a suspect simply because she is a woman. All people are asking for is that the media act with responsibility and civility. To allow an investigation to follow the due process without making a spectacle of it. Most importantly, people should refrain from using the case to make misogynistic attacks on Rhea or other women.
Letâs talk about substance use/abuse.
Initially, I just wanted to bring attention to mental health and call out the misogyny. However, recent coverage of the drug-related charges and the negative stereotypes around drug use makes me believe it should be addressed as well.
Cannabis aka Marijuana aka pot aka weed
Cannabis has a long history in India. It didnât become illegal in India until 1985. Even then, it wasnât without resistance, and there were certain religious exceptions. The cannabis plant is native to many regions of India and grows prolifically in the wild. For many indigenous and native groups in the Himalayan foothills, cannabis cultivation is a way of life. It is not just a drug but also a provider of food, clothing, fuel, and more.
Despite being banned, cannabis continues to be regularly consumed in India. It is not an elite or urban drug, but one that is accessible to everyone. Thousands of Indians of all ages, income brackets, backgrounds, and careers consume cannabis. Sadhus on the banks of the Ganges smoke up out in the open with impunity. College kids smoke it on the sly in their dorm rooms or sneak late into balconies or terraces. Even the parents might have a secret stash that comes out when the kids are away. Chances are everyone in India knows one or more people who smoke weed regularly. Iâd bet my bottom dollar that some of them are the news reporters clutching pearls over it.
Rhea Chakraborty is being investigated for something thousands of Indians consume regularly. One would think she was running a Colombian drug cartel based on how scandalized people are behaving. The Narcotics Control Bureau rarely investigates or arrests people for cannabis.
The irony is that evidence showed that Sushant Singh Rajput too smoked weed. If he were alive, he would have had to be arrested also. People are blatantly ignoring this fact or mocking it because they want to paint him as an innocent victim.
But the fact is smoking weed does not make him or Rhea an addict or a bad person. Even if either of them was addicted to cannabis, it does not make either of them immoral. Nor does it make his death less tragic.
Other drugs
I just wanted to make a few comments on drugs in general. We need to destigmatize the use and consumption of all drugs in India and across the globe. The global war on drugs is a massive failure that has disproportionately affected the poor and disenfranchised. Many people are capable of using drugs safely and not make it a habit. I donât care if people throw wild parties with drugs â as long as no one is harmed. Those who do get addicted need treatment and support because addiction is an illness, not a crime. The world would be a better place if we saw drug users as human beings who deserve love, compassion, and support instead of criminals and deviants. The resources used for the criminalization of drugs would be better invested in creating treatment facilities and resources.
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There is a lot more I could address â the nepotism debate, the political undertones, Kangana Ranaut, Arnab/Republic TV, and every instance of hypocrisy. But to be honest, the media circus doesnât deserve all the attention. We need to refocus on issues and let the investigation proceed in an authentic manner. Iâve addressed what matters and thatâs that.
For those who genuinely care and grieve about Sushant every day, I leave them this. The monologue by Kurt Hummel in âThe Quarterback.â While set in the fictional Glee episode, the entire episode was a tribute to Cory Monteith who died of a drug overdose. Whether it is an overdose, suicide, accident, or murder â sometimes really good people leave us in terrible ways. Donât let one terrible moment of their life â erase a lifetime of great memories. Before making a post or comment â ask yourself â how does this celebrate his life?
Also remember, justice and closure are not one and the same. Of course, justice is important. It is noble to seek justice. But justice doesnât guarantee closure or healing. How you seek justice also matters. Always remember, when the day comes for us to bid adieu to life â will never rue the fact that we werenât meaner, crueler or ruder to bad people. But if cause harm to innocent people or treat good people in a vile way, the guilt becomes a burden we have to carry all our lives. That burden is not easy to bear. Never be one to cast a stone.
âEveryone talks about how he died too. But who cares. One moment in his whole life. I care more about how he lived.â
Loved it RTH....đ
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