Dear diary,
As you already know lately the only person around whom my thoughts revolve are Baundita.. Oops sorry Baundita Baudi.. It sounds so funny to even write it Baudi when here i am harboring feelings for her. I know its a sin. But I never imagined, never imagined to even like that bhukkad baudi.. And here i am in love with her. I remember the first time dada brought her claiming her to be his wife. I was small too, i didn't understand the conditions in which they got married. I was just jealous of her.. She took all the attention of my dada. It was like his all thoughts used to revolve around her only.. I used to bully her, i fought with her.. But she never gave up.. The thing that i used to like the most about her. My dada always used to say that his baundita is special.. At that time i didn't understood that.. I used to think what special would be in the girl who doesn't even know how to write. But slowly i started seeing her in the light my dada always saw her.. And i realise indeed she is special. I still remember how many beating i got from kaka ji when i told him that i want to learn cooking. He even took me to a doctor thinking i have some disease.. Even he made me believe that i had some disease and its unnatural for me to have liking toward cooking. I too believed that and it slowly shattered all my confidence. But she, she somehow became my confidence.. With her never ending questions and then with the help of dada she made not only me but kaka ji to understand that cooking is just a passion and passion doesn't distinguish amongst gender. Slowly she became my many things, a friend, a companion, a inspiration.. And in those many thing somewhere my heart forget that what she really is.. My baudi. I know my heart did a sin. Loving her.. Was wrong.. Not only because my brother married her to save from a the cruel practice sati.. But also because her heart has always belonged to her pati babu. The way she looked at him. It does hurt. It hurts a lot. But i know i never had any chance in front of dada. He has always been her Knight in shining armour. He can die for herhappiness. Though no matter how many times he says he married baundita only to save her and she is a responsibility.. I know its just the lies.. He is feeding everyone including himself... Otherwise why would he be so angry every time he saw me with baudi.. Why would he go and specially learn dance so he wont let me dance with her in her college function. I know my dada is jealous.. Because its the same jealousy that i used to get when i used to see love and adoration in eyes of baundita for him.. And not me. But but.. Dear diary don't be sad.. I will make sure there love got requited.. No matter how much it will hurt me.no matter of by requiting her love my love will stay unrequited.. No matter if by joining her heart.. My hands bleed. Because her happiness is way more important for me than mine.. And i might not be Lakshman.. But my dada is surely Ram.. And i love him so much. He surely deserves love.. Dear diary.. Pls pray na.. To dugga maa.. To give me the strength.. And also patience.. As you know.. Anirudh roy chaudhary is a difficult nut to crack.. I have to roast him in his jealousy so he finally come out of his room of guilt and confess his love to baudi.
And dear diary.. Don't worry about me.. I know i will get my love somewhere too... Baudi always say dugga maa has made someone for everyone.. And you know i can't win from her adter all she is one of the biggest barrister.. I just want to believe her. Hopefully i will find someone.. Just like dada found baudi
Signing out.
Batuk
