Relationships

The credit of this post goes to Notty who triggered off the discussion and include some of her thoughts. Its also for my young niece who watches the show with great passion, and like many of you, is moping for Dr Armaan. But finally its a serial, yes relationships can be difficult, but it takes courage, commitment, love and most importantly communication to keep them on track...

Many things have been said and written about the protaganists. Clearly emotions are running high, but when I step back and watch the serial, the current track (though violent and obviously upsetting to AR fans) actually makes some sense.

To my mind, it's actually better because they are at least talking, though each is trying to hurt the other. This happens all the time, doesn't it? You react, get angry with the person you care about the most. And people tend to think of the most hurtful things that they can think of, cos you just want to get through. We all make these mistakes, except that when tempers cool down, you think sensibly, and then one person makes the first move, and the other meets him/her half-way..

That they love each other, is obvious, even to both of them (which is why neither can let the other be). That till now, their relationship has just been an emotional, attraction, physical awareness, desire for closeness kind of roller coaster ride, also obvious. Which is why I felt the kada was premature?

Ridhima needs to figure out that people are not the same and can't be defined to suit your parameters, that you love someone for who they are, and the differences are what makes the journey so exciting. Real men are not perfect by any means. Even if a guy did possess all of her requirements, they won't be in evidence every single day! He is going to mess up sometimes, piss her off, and definitely not be the man of her dreams.

On his part, Armaan needs to understand that his ardour, passion and emotional intensity unnerves Ridhima, and he needs to take her through his emotions, one step at a time...and violence, emotional or physical, is a strict no no..

As people they are so different...much as he is an extrovert, demonstrative, physical, emotional, aggressive guy, Ridhima is quiet, emotional, self contained, clear thinking but firm woman...precious little in common...their love is their common bond which needs to be nurtured and built upon...

Armaan's always been way too emotional and Riddhima though utterly sensitive puts reason before sentiments!Armaan unconsiously expressing his frustration the only way he knows to get some reaction out of her. I dont think its so much to irritate or frustrate her.Its more to get her attention, reaction and an attempt to make her understand his feelings. But he has no idea that his aggressive behavior is just what she is afraid of. Since she cant equal him there she uses words her best defence.

I think the problem is the difference in their emotional backgrounds.. She's been cocooned, loved indulgently by a kind, gentle family, while on the other hand, he has obviously grown up fighting for his father's approval and craving mere attention / affection, far from being showered with love. It makes their reaction to their love diametrically opposite. She is willing to just bask in the warmth/ euphoria / knowledge of their emotions whereas he longs for a greater demonstration and an affirmation that finally there is someone who loves him as much as he loves them. To add to that, they are both strong, opinionated personalities, which does not allow them to back down.

They need to step back and examine what they have. Having someone to share all of the things in your life - your joy and sadness, your worries and your giddy excitement… Having someone to lean on when times are tough; someone who encourages you and believes in you when you are feeling down; someone who is there to lift your spirits or give you a shoulder to cry on; someone you can count on no matter what..Being all of that for someone else is a precious gift, and they are lucky to have it.

They need to work this out for themselves cos obviously the passion meter between the two runs high…otherwise, its best not to be together and destroy each other in the process…

All relationships have issues and problems, you just need to spend time and effort to resolve them.. that and not just passion is the key to a long lasting relationship...

manu di 👏 awesome post ..specialy This happens all the time, doesn't it? You react, get angry with the person you care about the most. And people tend to think of the most hurtful things that they can think of, cos you just want to get through. We all make these mistakes, except that when tempers cool down, you think sensibly, and then one person makes the first move, and the other meets him/her half-way.. cudnt agree more...a very thoghtful post..u r gr8 u knw

@manu....wonderful is all I can say....you did a great thing by posting this piece here...its a great guide line for young and impressionable minds for sure.
Thanks again...it explains AR situation perfectly.

Manu 🤗

Thank-you for this post!

This is not for justifying the act of either or proving one better than other.We all know strange are the ways of the tele screen and theres so much that we just cant explain or identify or relate with.But by shaping these two characters with their complexities the creatives are trying to tell a deeper story.

And Manu has just given us an insightful analysis of such a possibility which looks past their onscreen personas and personalities!

Relationships are not always rosy neither easy!Sometimes they bring out the best in people sometimes the worst!But its important to live through them to the fullest!

If the love in the relationship is strong then together with the efforts at salvation it will survive the test of time! If not then its best to live and let live!

Hey Manu....have been wondering where you have been. Been missing your posts...and here there is one finally. And as usual, so well thought out and written. 👏 👏 👏

Agree with you that AR are a very different people, in the way they see things, the way they think and most importantly, the way they react. And that is the cause of all their problems, augmented by lack of communication between the two. This time away from each other should allow them to retrospect on their relationship, their expectations from each other, and the need to listen & understand each other. And Riddhima especially must realize that in a relationship, a person does feel the need to be reassured of his/her partners love and appreciation. She may be right on certain issues, but her sense of timing of what to say when is not. Armaan needs to understand that this frequent display of aggression is harming his own interests. Am with you 100 percent when you say the love and security, or the lack of it, that a family provides, has a lot to do with the way they see this relationship and react to each other.

How we all were hoping for some sensible, meaningful talks between the two, a gradual bonding and getting to understand each other better, and all we get are silly pranks. Don't know what the creatives have in mind.

Awesome post, Manu! 👏 n very interesting as well!

Thanks...Notty and i have been discussing this and finally the violence in yesterday's episode pushed me into posting this...

It amazes me that the channel / creatives are aware that they have a huge, very young, impressionable audience that is crazy about AR and are still willing to air an episode, which may well be realistic, but is nevertheless disturbing...a far cry from the DMG most of us are used to...

Having said that, kudos to them for at least trying to potray what happens in relationships (though the potrayal is rather skewed and laugable sometimes).

Like Notty said, while its easy to castigate Ridhima, given her lack of communication skills, I can't imagine how we would react if our BF waltz off as someone else's beau, then completely lost it when confronted with it, and finally chose to waltz off to be a street fighter when faced with our first serious fight / disagreement.

It takes two to tango, and they both need to figure that out, and, TALK, TALK, TALK.....

I would like to add that passion alone does not make a good relationship. Passion is raging hormones, be they sexual or aggressive. You need to be in control of yourself and not let your hormones control you. You need to bring your mind into the relationship.

Originally posted by: marisa

manu di 👏 awesome post ..specialy This happens all the time, doesn't it? You react, get angry with the person you care about the most. And people tend to think of the most hurtful things that they can think of, cos you just want to get through. We all make these mistakes, except that when tempers cool down, you think sensibly, and then one person makes the first move, and the other meets him/her half-way.. cudnt agree more...a very thoghtful post..u r gr8 u knw

Thanks Marisa, its just the grey hair..

hey very very well-written
i could not have said it better
whn riddhima confronted him abt the whole muskaan-punjab issue,i too had been wondering if their reactions had to do more with their upbringing and u said it very well...indeed all that they do fight/argue all tht comes frm their past and the way they think.

both r at blame and both need to talk
remember after that whole mini-skirt issue how they told each other wht they thought and wht they feared...they just spoke and cleared everything...then y not now....i have been wondering since this whole thing started