Usually, I wouldn't share this with people in real life, let alone on a public forum, but since I'm posting anonymously, I don't have that many qualms about it:
After reading multiple discussions on the topic of the latest episodes, both on this forum and on various social media platforms, I was forced to ask myself: why is it that I am finding myself identifying with the one girl that so many people seem to hate so much? Is there something wrong with how I'm looking at this?
I don't think so.
I grew up with a sibling who, for many years, I resented for multiple reasons. I am incredibly fond of him, and I would go to the ends of the world for him, but there has always been situations in which I found myself resenting him and hating the fact that I was his sister. I felt like he made me look bad in comparison, whether it be because of his superiority in sports, his knack for bringing home perfect grades, or his undeniable talent in the arts. I would constantly punish myself for not being as good as him, for not being the child my parents wanted, and for not matching up to him in some form or way. I always felt that my parents too, preferred him over me, because he was the ambitious, starry-eyed child that made them incredibly proud. I would always try to find the little things that I was better at to make myself feel less low (I still do this), but sometimes, I would snap. I would lash out, I would say things I would come to regret later, and in the process, I would hurt my brother's feelings. Was I wrong for hurting his feelings? Absolutely. Was he in the wrong? No, definitely not. But was I wrong for feeling the way I did? I used to think that I was, but I don't think that way anymore. But to come to this realization, and to come to terms with how I felt when I looked at myself in the mirror, it took years of hard discussions with my parents, an incredibly strong support system in my friends, and even a therapist.
This is the main difference between my situation and Kuhu's. While I had people to lean on, she isn't shown to have anyone except an aunt who, although validates her feelings, does nothing to heal her or make her feel secure, and instead encourages her to act on her insecurities. Kuhu has lived for three months (three months!) without her husband, and although after seeing the past two episodes, people may be inclined to think that she whines all the time, I don't believe that she would've said anything about how bad she was feeling. She has been branded as an immature, unreasonable, and angsty "teenager", but tell me this: would an immature person live silently in a loveless marriage for months that could've broken her, but she didn't let it, so that their families could be at peace? Would an unreasonable person take Abir's side over her own brother's so that he could get Mishti back?
The only reason Kuhu is being seen as the villain of this story at the present moment is because the audience knows the whole picture of what Mishti and Abir are going through. Kuhu doesn't. All she knows is that she and Mishti fought at the resort, after which Abir snapped at her on the way back home, went back to the resort to get Mishti, and then disappeared with her for three months under the excuse of a "honeymoon" and "unspecified NGO work". So it is completely natural for her to assume the worst out of the person that she has resented for so long, especially when this resentment has not been properly addressed by anyone in either family. On top of that, the functions that she's been planning and streamlining all of her energy and focus into so that she doesn't miss Kunal all the time have been conveniently taken off of her hands the moment Abir and Mishti come in the picture.
So many people are rejoicing over the fact that Abir finally lashed out at Kuhu and hit her where it hurt the most. But I see no reason for celebration. What Abir did was below the belt and uncalled for. If Kuhu did the same thing, I'd be just as furious at her, make no mistake. The only reason Abir said what he said was because he didn't know how else to answer to her. And that's unacceptable in my book.
Kuhu likes being in the spotlight. And she isn't afraid of people knowing that about her. And while some people may call her self-obsessed and selfish for that, I would call her a confident, self-assured individual. Her being in the spotlight, and her family affirming her belief in the fact that she is needed and wanted, is exactly what she needs to break free of her current mental and emotional turmoil. Unfortunately for her, no one sees that need of hers as a need that is worth their time to cater to.
I don't know why I wrote all of this. I think it's just therapeutic for me to be able to let out all of my love for this character, for validating my personal feelings and conflict, and for never failing to inspire me. I used to laugh at people who would take fictional characters much too seriously and would go to lengths to defend them, but Kuhu made me realize why people do it. It's because you see yourself in them. It's because you see your loved ones in them. It's because it is those characters that, by loving them, indirectly empower you to love yourself a little more.
Edited by journalgirl321 - 5 years ago
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
