Le ke Jayegi jaan...oops #Timeout|KuKu|KaVik|AT 4 Nt Pg129 - Page 4

Originally posted by: peacenfun

girls when it comes to kuhu, can you tell me one incidence at maheshwaris, where you found that they were justified towards their behaviour & second hand treatment for kuhu?

unfortunately I cant think of any

and while re-watching the old episodes I again realised it from the very initial episodes🤢 (BP-BM contemplating about kunal's proposal for kuhu because apparently mishti is elder to kuhu & though this fact is conveniently forgotten throughout the show but only makes its guest appearance here because 'badi ke hote hue chhoti ki shaadi pehle kaise ho sakti hai')

infact kuhu blasting all maheshwaris for what all she had been putting up with is one scene on top of my wishlist😎

I want her to bajao them all😈

No @Peace, I can't think of any where their treatment of Kuhu was justified but there were a few moments that made me really happy around MA's GD when BM and Kuhu got to spend some time together. BM praised the way Kuhu had adjusted and won everyone's love in her sasural (when they were washing dishes), she acknowledged that she and Kuhu hadn't been able to spend enough time together because Mishti had been all alone, and then the way BM leaned on Kuhu when Mishti was missing and then made sure that everyone praised her along with Mishti was really sweet. I think all of this gave Kuhu the courage to officially end things with Kunal and tell her family about the divorce, but before she could do that Abir broke up with Mishti and everyone was preoccupied with Mishti's pain again. 

@bold: The worst part about all of this was that Mishti had clearly said she didn't want to get married yet and wants to work for a few years first. Kuhu did want to get married, so I didnt think there was anything particularly wrong with what Varsha did. But seeing what happened both with Kunal and with Nishant, the bades clearly had no intention of respecting Mishti's wishes and were always planning to marry her off ASAP. They did a huge disservice to both these girls by not acknolwedging their differences as individuals and forcing them to conform to this conventional facade of family. 

For starters, why couldn't Mishti get her own room? 

on side note, 

new vm on kuku:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-xFc5HBaBd/

and the epic 'tumhe chhodh kar maine bhai ko choose kiya tha' scene:

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-w-gMZBx8n/

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@aqua: Oh teri! Here I was hoping people would add to the list aur kya dekhne ko mila? 😆

@Riya: I think what I love most about Kunal is that none of his actions are OTT and he is not a grand gesture person, but you can sort of see how Kuhu has slowly seeped into every aspect of his life, sometimes with his knowledge and sometimes without him even realising it. If you want to be poetic about it, like sugar and water; you can't see the sugar, but you can't distingush one from the other once they are mixed. 

Again, a genuinely adult choice -- neither option is the ideal (stuck with Mishti in one and stuck without Kunal in the other) one but if we weigh the options, where do I see more happiness and security for my future? I can't blame her for choosing the RVs with the options she had. 😕

@bold- we are always up for debate.

@blue- I will disagree on that one. Kunal is OTT person when he needs to be. He did such a grand gesture by choosing to get married to Kuhu in hopes to protect Abir from Mishti. He chose to call Parul Maa in front of the media, rather than sorting through his own feelings about this situation he was in. He chose to hand over Red Pear to Mishti. He requested Kuhu to plan a surprise for Mishti, again a gesture for hir brothers happiness. I will agree that most of these were forced on him, but he did it.

Whereas, for Kuhu he seems to skip it all together, whether its her requesting him to do the Pooja with her ( he said no instantly). He refuses to listen to anything she has to say about Mishti, despite the fact that he promised to never shut her up again, sucks Kuhu doesnt remember this. Leaving the resort when Kuhu wanted some more time with him. He just thinks that Kuhu shouldnt push back on him and when she does, is the moment he is actually scared (explosive Kuhu scene).

This is why we need a more independent Kuhu, who has other priorities then Kunal. I genuinely feel that Kunal become attracted to her after the leap, because she no longer revolved her life around him, she had a business. Now when Kuhu is back to square one, Kunal goes back to disregarding her needs or only meeting them when its convinient for him.

@purple- True that!

Originally posted by: peacenfun

girls when it comes to kuhu, can you tell me one incidence at maheshwaris, where you found that they were justified towards their behaviour & second hand treatment for kuhu?

unfortunately I cant think of any

and while re-watching the old episodes I again realised it from the very initial episodes🤢 (BP-BM contemplating about kunal's proposal for kuhu because apparently mishti is elder to kuhu & though this fact is conveniently forgotten throughout the show but only makes its guest appearance here because 'badi ke hote hue chhoti ki shaadi pehle kaise ho sakti hai')

infact kuhu blasting all maheshwaris for what all she had been putting up with is one scene on top of my wishlist😎

I want her to bajao them all😈

Yes yes yes!!!

I need Shaurya to make a comeback and support Kuhu and Varsha needs to have a conversation with Kuhu.

@Riya: You're right, it's not that Kunal doesn't perform grand gestures at all but as you said, all of those actions are out of character and performed under pressure, and I would argue out of fear. When Kunal genuinely does something out of pure love, it's deliberate, understated, and meaningful, like how he checked in on a sleeping Parul after he had brought her back from the lock-up or convinced Meenu to drop the sleeping pill issue. To me that is what sets his relationship with Kuhu apart -- she doesn't use fear against him as all his other loved ones do, so he gets the chance to express himself his way, and doesn't feel forced or rushed into anything. 

Kuhu did test him in a way with the condition she put for remarriage, and he proved himself to her by asking for the mandap with barely any hesitation. In fact, asking her parents for her hand in marriage and initiating the second shaadi was a grand gesture in itself. At that moment, he was all about the two of them, and he continued that when he planned the Bhuj trip but she was more focused on family stuff and turned him down. At the resort, Kuhu was totally in couple mode, but Kunal got pulled into family drama. I get the annoyance that he jumped at the call from Meenu in the middle of humma humma, but it was not just any call on any day. He had forgotten to inform her about his whereabouts the day after he announced Parul as his mother and hurt her so deeply. Kunal is a very by the book guy, and he knew he made a huge mistake so he saw cutting the holiday short as his "punishment." This was obviously not fair to Kuhu as she didn't make the mistake, but it's all part of their learning curve of being on the same page at the same time. 

Kunal's first priority is not any one person but keeping his family unit together, not letting the tension between Abir and Meenu rip them apart.  When things are relatively peaceful on that front, it opens up space for him to pursue other aspects of his life. So I think he had more focus on Kuhu during the leap partly because she was doing her own thing (which I so agree I wish she would do now, but for herself) but partly because Meenu and Abir were not openly fighting. Abir was home and actually going to office with him and Meenu didn't feel compelled to plot any saazishes, so Kunal had the breathing room to focus on himself and his own feelings and desires. He actually had time to make an effort with Kuhu as well as her family. 

With Mishti's return, and Abir went straight back to rebellion mode and Meenu to saazish mode, returning Kunal right back to square one, except this time with more ehsaan from knowing his birth truth and Abir's response to Meenu's ultimatum. This is precisely what Kuhu is beginning to unearth from a combination of Meenu's choice words to her and Kunal's impulsive, panicked actions. She has known pretty much since that visarjan scene that the root of the problem has never been Kunal's lack of love but his lack of freedom. He doesn't get a moment to stop and rest and feel like everything is okay, because when he does get that time and space, he is a very loving and attentive partner. 

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@aqua: Oh teri! Here I was hoping people would add to the list aur kya dekhne ko mila? 😆

The thing is, it's not an either/or argument. Everything you said is as true as everything I said because Kunal is a well-written human being who isn't perfect, but who definitely cares a lot about Kuhu in a way that he has never cared about anyone else. I don't think we will get that kind of first priority thing with this couple because they simply don't hierarchise relationships like that (which I happen to love). 

I am going to go one step further and say that the whole idea of "first priority" is actually a very common symptom of the toxic monogamy we were talking about yesterday. For mature adults, different relationships are first priority at different times, and Kunal fell in love with Kuhu precisely because she understood that and didn't expect him to think of relationships that way. All she wants are these little signs that he cares for her -- like when he left her at the Sufi party to look for Abir but made sure to light those candles first. 

@Riya: I think what I love most about Kunal is that none of his actions are OTT and he is not a grand gesture person, but you can sort of see how Kuhu has slowly seeped into every aspect of his life, sometimes with his knowledge and sometimes without him even realising it. If you want to be poetic about it, like sugar and water; you can't see the sugar, but you can't distingush one from the other once they are mixed. 

@Meera: The thing we keep forgetting is that Shaurya was furious, and didn't want Kuhu to stay in this relationship with Kunal. If he had his way, the second marriage would never have happened. It was Kuhu who took matters into her own hands and decided to stay in the marriage, and not just for Kunal but for her family and the right she had earned over it. I am totally with you on them zero-ing in on her lies though. Maybe if the Maheshwaris provided her a safer, happier environment where she felt she'd be supported, or if Mishti hadn't exposed her divorce so haphazardly, she would have had time to negotiate more, both with her family and with Kunal, but she didn't and she made the best decision she could, with the information that she had. 

Again, a genuinely adult choice -- neither option is the ideal (stuck with Mishti in one and stuck without Kunal in the other) one but if we weigh the options, where do I see more happiness and security for my future? I can't blame her for choosing the RVs with the options she had. 😕

I'm back! 

And I am glad that I took this much time to come back and check the AT because the discussion has been amazing!! I mostly agree with everything all of you have said.

Sam, it's definitely not an either/or argument. I agree that whatever we both have said is true. I wrote that post in jest but I am glad it extended the conversion and now we're discussing it in more detail.

The toxic monogamy thing is a great point! I hadn't seen it in that way but it makes so much sense. I think Kunal's growth will be really reach a mid point when he starts to give himself and his feelings a higher priority than his family and it will be complete when he finds a balance between the two. I want to Kunal to realise that Kuhu is a part of his family too. Yes, they are one unit but that unit won't be able to function properly to keep the family together if they're not happy themselves. 

I love the candle example. It was exactly how I would want him handle things. See the situation in its entirety, realise what needs his attention more and then proceed to solve things. 

Coming to Maheshwaris, they are a lousy bunch. Shaurya was angry but they could have really put in more effort to check up on Kuhu after the happy second marriage. The first time they come to meet the girls, they just end up scolding Kuhu rather than asking if she's okay. The girl just went through 6 months of pain and suffering and they don't even ask how she is. Arre! Formality ke liye hi poochh lo!!🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@Riya: You're right, it's not that Kunal doesn't perform grand gestures at all but as you said, all of those actions are out of character and performed under pressure, and I would argue out of fear. When Kunal genuinely does something out of pure love, it's deliberate, understated, and meaningful, like how he checked in on a sleeping Parul after he had brought her back from the lock-up or convinced Meenu to drop the sleeping pill issue. To me that is what sets his relationship with Kuhu apart -- she doesn't use fear against him as all his other loved ones do, so he gets the chance to express himself his way, and doesn't feel forced or rushed into anything. 

Kuhu did test him in a way with the condition she put for remarriage, and he proved himself to her by asking for the mandap with barely any hesitation. In fact, asking her parents for her hand in marriage and initiating the second shaadi was a grand gesture in itself. At that moment, he was all about the two of them, and he continued that when he planned the Bhuj trip but she was more focused on family stuff and turned him down. At the resort, Kuhu was totally in couple mode, but Kunal got pulled into family drama. I get the annoyance that he jumped at the call from Meenu in the middle of humma humma, but it was not just any call on any day. He had forgotten to inform her about his whereabouts the day after he announced Parul as his mother and hurt her so deeply. Kunal is a very by the book guy, and he knew he made a huge mistake so he saw cutting the holiday short as his "punishment." This was obviously not fair to Kuhu as she didn't make the mistake, but it's all part of their learning curve of being on the same page at the same time. 

Kunal's first priority is not any one person but keeping his family unit together, not letting the tension between Abir and Meenu rip them apart.  When things are relatively peaceful on that front, it opens up space for him to pursue other aspects of his life. So I think he had more focus on Kuhu during the leap partly because she was doing her own thing (which I so agree I wish she would do now, but for herself) but partly because Meenu and Abir were not openly fighting. Abir was home and actually going to office with him and Meenu didn't feel compelled to plot any saazishes, so Kunal had the breathing room to focus on himself and his own feelings and desires. He actually had time to make an effort with Kuhu as well as her family. 

With Mishti's return, and Abir went straight back to rebellion mode and Meenu to saazish mode, returning Kunal right back to square one, except this time with more ehsaan from knowing his birth truth and Abir's response to Meenu's ultimatum. This is precisely what Kuhu is beginning to unearth from a combination of Meenu's choice words to her and Kunal's impulsive, panicked actions. She has known pretty much since that visarjan scene that the root of the problem has never been Kunal's lack of love but his lack of freedom. He doesn't get a moment to stop and rest and feel like everything is okay, because when he does get that time and space, he is a very loving and attentive partner. 

Ooooofff!! Sab kuch hi keh diya. So, I bolded the lines I felt were very insightful.

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@aqua: Oh teri! Here I was hoping people would add to the list aur kya dekhne ko mila? 😆

The thing is, it's not an either/or argument. Everything you said is as true as everything I said because Kunal is a well-written human being who isn't perfect, but who definitely cares a lot about Kuhu in a way that he has never cared about anyone else. I don't think we will get that kind of first priority thing with this couple because they simply don't hierarchise relationships like that (which I happen to love). 

I am going to go one step further and say that the whole idea of "first priority" is actually a very common symptom of the toxic monogamy we were talking about yesterday. For mature adults, different relationships are first priority at different times, and Kunal fell in love with Kuhu precisely because she understood that and didn't expect him to think of relationships that way. All she wants are these little signs that he cares for her -- like when he left her at the Sufi party to look for Abir but made sure to light those candles first. 

@Riya: I think what I love most about Kunal is that none of his actions are OTT and he is not a grand gesture person, but you can sort of see how Kuhu has slowly seeped into every aspect of his life, sometimes with his knowledge and sometimes without him even realising it. If you want to be poetic about it, like sugar and water; you can't see the sugar, but you can't distingush one from the other once they are mixed. 

@Meera: The thing we keep forgetting is that Shaurya was furious, and didn't want Kuhu to stay in this relationship with Kunal. If he had his way, the second marriage would never have happened. It was Kuhu who took matters into her own hands and decided to stay in the marriage, and not just for Kunal but for her family and the right she had earned over it. I am totally with you on them zero-ing in on her lies though. Maybe if the Maheshwaris provided her a safer, happier environment where she felt she'd be supported, or if Mishti hadn't exposed her divorce so haphazardly, she would have had time to negotiate more, both with her family and with Kunal, but she didn't and she made the best decision she could, with the information that she had. 

Again, a genuinely adult choice -- neither option is the ideal (stuck with Mishti in one and stuck without Kunal in the other) one but if we weigh the options, where do I see more happiness and security for my future? I can't blame her for choosing the RVs with the options she had. 😕

Hi, I am a silent reader and I love posts on this AT in general. they are my weekend binge reads. But the bold part above surprised me today. I had completely ignored the essence of this scene and loved how you described it. So Kunal does not always forget Kuhu when its about Abir. If he tries he can balance both relationships, esp given that both Abir  & Kuhu are understanding when it comes to each other's position in Kunal's life.  This gives me a lot of hope for Kunal's growth to someone who can balance relationships better.

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

No @Peace, I can't think of any where their treatment of Kuhu was justified but there were a few moments that made me really happy around MA's GD when BM and Kuhu got to spend some time together. BM praised the way Kuhu had adjusted and won everyone's love in her sasural (when they were washing dishes), she acknowledged that she and Kuhu hadn't been able to spend enough time together because Mishti had been all alone, and then the way BM leaned on Kuhu when Mishti was missing and then made sure that everyone praised her along with Mishti was really sweet. I think all of this gave Kuhu the courage to officially end things with Kunal and tell her family about the divorce, but before she could do that Abir broke up with Mishti and everyone was preoccupied with Mishti's pain again. 

@bold: The worst part about all of this was that Mishti had clearly said she didn't want to get married yet and wants to work for a few years first. Kuhu did want to get married, so I didnt think there was anything particularly wrong with what Varsha did. But seeing what happened both with Kunal and with Nishant, the bades clearly had no intention of respecting Mishti's wishes and were always planning to marry her off ASAP. They did a huge disservice to both these girls by not acknolwedging their differences as individuals and forcing them to conform to this conventional facade of family. 

For starters, why couldn't Mishti get her own room? 

💯🔥

Exactly!! Why didn't they have their own rooms? After college, the room got renovated so they could have easily given them 2 separate rooms. 

I have no ummeed from BM. I think BP tried to balance the scales whenever he could but now, he has also stopped to do that.

Originally posted by: aquaHP

I'm back! 

And I am glad that I took this much time to come back and check the AT because the discussion has been amazing!! I mostly agree with everything all of you have said.

Sam, it's definitely not an either/or argument. I agree that whatever we both have said is true. I wrote that post in jest but I am glad it extended the conversion and now we're discussing it in more detail.

The toxic monogamy thing is a great point! I hadn't seen it in that way but it makes so much sense. I think Kunal's growth will be really reach a mid point when he starts to give himself and his feelings a higher priority than his family and it will be complete when he finds a balance between the two. I want to Kunal to realise that Kuhu is a part of his family too. Yes, they are one unit but that unit won't be able to function properly to keep the family together if they're not happy themselves. 

I love the candle example. It was exactly how I would want him handle things. See the situation in its entirety, realise what needs his attention more and then proceed to solve things. 

Coming to Maheshwaris, they are a lousy bunch. Shaurya was angry but they could have really put in more effort to check up on Kuhu after the happy second marriage. The first time they come to meet the girls, they just end up scolding Kuhu rather than asking if she's okay. The girl just went through 6 months of pain and suffering and they don't even ask how she is. Arre! Formality ke liye hi poochh lo!!🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Lol, I know you were only half serious with that post but for some reason, I get seriously defensive of Kunal. The way he is treated by his family bring up some intense tiger-mom feelings in me, so I feel incredibly protective when people call him out. 🤣 That's obviously not to say he doesn't do anything wrong, but he is so disproportionately punished just because he actually cares. 😭 I love that Kuhu is seeing the larger problem because that makes it more Kuku against injustice rather than Kunal vs. Kuhu. 

@bold: Totally! I think the story is building up to exactly that point. We don't know how exactly it'll manifest, but something has to change wrt disproportionate burden Kunal takes on to keep this family together. I think the Mishti/Kunal and Abir/Kuhu fronts from the last episode could be interesting foreshadowing as well as the hotel room situation. Mishti and Abir give up the hotel room (which was in Abir's name but Kunal paid for) and both couples are happy in their respective spaces, but Meenu stirs trouble again with that phone call. Kunal says I am going to give up this space because Meenu wants me to, Mishti agrees with him, taking Meenu at face value and assuming that he can come back, Kuhu and Abir want to dig there heels in and stay, defying Meenu because they know she has something up her sleeve. If you equate the resort with the ghar/business, it paints an interesting roadmap. 

THE CANDLE SCENE!  That was the scene that took my interest in Kuku's potential and converted into proper fangirl love. To me, that scene defines the Kunal that Kuhu fell in love with -- someone who can't always be with her but won't ever leave her in the dark. 

And no arguments on the Maheshwaris. Shaurya's words rung absolutely hollow that day because they had been so oblivious to her suffering all this time. Now when she had managed the situation on her own, they wanted to jump in and defend her. Same with Varsha and BM -- they hear their kid has been through all of this and the first thing they do is dump more responsibility on her head. When they called Mishti on the first morning and Varsha was like, why didn't Kuhu wake you up? SERIOUSLY?! 

@shelzee: Welcome to the AT officially! More feelings on that scene in my reply above ❤️

I see Kunal as someone who does know how to balance relationships but there is simply too much on his plate for him to manage at once, especially when someone or the other is constantly inciting some upset. For Kunal, balance isn't staying still -- it's running around, compensating for all the imbalance other people, mainly Abir and Meenu, introduce. That is why he took so long to accept his feelings for Kuhu and come out and say he wants her in his life -- he wasn't sure he had room for another relationship in the midst of all of this.