Too mera Nanko nahi ho sakta!

Shaheer, Rhea, Ritvik, Kaveri, Rupal Patel… maasi… they are all acting amazingly well. Congratulations!👏

Now the story!

NishMish plan had an inherent risk, that they will appear too real and guess what, that is exactly what happened. Mishti, once you had confirmation that Abir still loves you, why did you have to keep at it? Why can’t Abir still love you, but as a zimmedar son (more about this one in a bit) choose not to marry you? All she had to do was wear her spectacles that Abir gave her… that gesture alone would have been enough. No, she chose not to do that… Because she wants Abir to beg for her love. Theek say sorry bulwana!!!!🤬

Till Mishti was not with anyone, Abir was okay with it. He had plainly hoped that Mishti will mop around for him. Abir has no ability to balance his relationships. Kunal found out less than 2 days ago, he was suicidal💔 and Abir has abandoned him today. I wish Abir and Bigben would stop messing about with Kunal’s feelings. That dream of Abir’s today was so mean!! Who is Abir and Abir’s dreamed up version of Mishti to decide what Kunal should or should not do! 

Kunal made a huge mistake and Abir disowned him? Where is the bada beta of this house🤔? Why can he never be a mentor? I wish Abir learns to balance his relationships as time goes. Right now he has no idea how to step back and listen. How many times did everyone stop him from running after baba(I wish Mishti hadn’t brought Mehul at the RVs doorstep)? He did not sit down and listen to Kunal before KuKu’s wedding. 

Its all well and good for Mishti and Abir to taunt Kunal on being his mother's son. Has Abir ever reflected on why Kunal ends up doing doing these things for his mother... against his wishes... Has he ever thought, why Bigben keeps running around like a headless chicken causing damage after damage. Her son does not know how to level headedly be the patriarch she is waiting for him to be. 

Abir just wants everyone to pledge to his programme and get on with it... chop chop… the other day, Parul was right in not wanting to take Tea for Kunal… he sent her there forcefully… come on Kunal… get on with that minor inconvenience…so that Bigben can stop blackmailing me and I can run to Mishti! Same today...so what if you had a tough night that night… why haven’t you thought of your wife’s brother and gone and apologized. Arey! give him a chance to get a word in… This is such a great opportunity for Abir to get together with Kunal and start diffusing Bigben’s powers. Thanks ma... we will take it from here.. You enjoy your retirement now. I shall see you at Riyaz in the morning. Why cant he manage his mother for once! 

Another thing, why cant you be nanu's ghadedo AND meenu ka munna all the same? THAT is called balancing relationships... 

It’s only a Roka…stop being so temperamental. He jumps to conclusions hurriedly. I can see why no one wants to marry their girl to Abir.. he doesn’t have that steadiness that is needed in the head of the family… Shayari and deserting your family… udd chaloing…. No one wants a groom like that for their daughter! ghar ko jod ke chalane ke leeye sacrifices lagte hain!

Too mera Nanko nahi ho sakta! 💔Abir’s love for everyone is conditional. That needs to change

This is a perspective that absolutely needs to be out there, so thanks for making this post! 👏

The writing of this show has always presented serious inconsistencies in the relationship between actions and responsibility, especially when it comes to the leads. In this case, the way they wrote the truth coming out, it becomes more about Abir and Mishti than Kunal (even though it's about *his* identity) and the sequence of events is constructed such that Kunal spiking the drink cancels out Mishti's mistake of revealing the truth to him in the cruel manner that she did, but somehow Mishti's mistake doesn't afford any benefit of doubt to Kunal on why he didn't immediately tell Abir and apologise. Very convenient but not very convincing. 

For me, it doesn't come off as heroic or romantic that Abir completely washes his hands of Kunal every time Kunal does Meenu's dirty work. Kunal does these things, Meenu has such a grip over him *because* Abir was always too busy writing poetry,  wandering in the dessert, and wallowing in self-pity  over baba's abandonment to be there for his brother and his mom. Every time Abir was indifferent to Meenu and Kunal watched his mom get hurt, he tried and still tries to make it up to her by being the obedient son Abir never was. 

From the beginning of th show, Abir constatnly abandons Kunal when he's most vulnerable, Meenu preys on this vulnerability and convinces Kunal that it's because he didn't try hard enough to stop Abir, so Kunal follows the instructions of the one other person he trusts most to try and get him back. I have never once seen this addressed. Meenu is a difficult and often unreasonable woman, no doubt, and she can be absolutely ruthless when it comes to getting her way, but she has put this family together and provided for it for over twenty years. At the very least, she deserves a fair hearing from her son about why she thinks Mishti is wrong for the family. It is as much Abir's responsibility to handle her as it is Kunal's and he never pulls his weight; he never stops to listen. 

And that is what brings us to the conundrum he finds himself in today. Apparently the solution to not listening to Mishti is to turn around and not listen to Kunal. Wah. How many assumptions Abir made today without listening first! How does he know Kunal doesn't regret what he did? How does he know he didn't want to apologise to Nishant? Everyone knows Kunal spiked the drink because Kunal *did* own up to it, immediately, and confessed to Kuhu. He didn't immediately apologise because Mishti's revelation was extremely traumatic and left him in shock. Still, the next day he didn't hesitate to own up to his deeds when Kuhu called him out, and a mere day later, he was making his own effort to get a better idea of Meenu's involvement and confronted her directly. 

I keep hearing that Kunal needed this reality check, but honestly, why?  Any reality check he needed, he already got from Kuhu,  and not only was it was delivered in a much more effective manner but Kunal was already acting on it. 

Finally, I am apalled at the fact that Abir said he has nothing now because of Kunal (and of course we know that Parul is going to drive this home tomorrow). No Abir, you managed that one all on you own. When Kunal himself asked Abir to choose between him and Mishti -- which in my book  was really just Kunal asking Abir to pay any attention to his feelings at all -- Abir chose Mishti every time. Meenu literally had to threaten to kick Kunal and Parul out for Abir to even consider choosing his family over his love, and Abir *chose* not to tell Kunal the truth. It shows  Abir's true colours that he is openly expressing resentment at Kunal for a decision Kunal had absolutely no voice in. At least have the gumption to own up to the decisions you made to leave Kunal out of the loop! 

I am aware that the show will probably never address these issues. Kunal will have to "earn" his place as Abir's nanko (so much for unconditional love!) while Abir continues to be volatile, unreliable, and self-absorbed, and all of this will be celebrated as incredibly romantic. Still, I think it's important to call out this entitled, bull-in-a-china-shop behaviour and I'm so glad you initiated the discussion! 

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

Shaheer, Rhea, Ritvik, Kaveri, Rupal Patel… maasi… they are all acting amazingly well. Congratulations!👏

Now the story!

NishMish plan had an inherent risk, that they will appear too real and guess what, that is exactly what happened. Mishti, once you had confirmation that Abir still loves you, why did you have to keep at it? Why can’t Abir still love you, but as a zimmedar son (more about this one in a bit) choose not to marry you? All she had to do was wear her spectacles that Abir gave her… that gesture alone would have been enough. No, she chose not to do that… Because she wants Abir to beg for her love. Theek say sorry bulwana!!!!🤬

Till Mishti was not with anyone, Abir was okay with it. He had plainly hoped that Mishti will mop around for him. Abir has no ability to balance his relationships. Kunal found out less than 2 days ago, he was suicidal💔 and Abir has abandoned him today. I wish Abir and Bigben would stop messing about with Kunal’s feelings. That dream of Abir’s today was so mean!! Who is Abir and Abir’s dreamed up version of Mishti to decide what Kunal should or should not do! 

Kunal made a huge mistake and Abir disowned him? Where is the bada beta of this house🤔? Why can he never be a mentor? I wish Abir learns to balance his relationships as time goes. Right now he has no idea how to step back and listen. How many times did everyone stop him from running after baba(I wish Mishti hadn’t brought Mehul at the RVs doorstep)? He did not sit down and listen to Kunal before KuKu’s wedding. 

Its all well and good for Mishti and Abir to taunt Kunal on being his mother's son. Has Abir ever reflected on why Kunal ends up doing doing these things for his mother... against his wishes... Has he ever thought, why Bigben keeps running around like a headless chicken causing damage after damage. Her son does not know how to level headedly be the patriarch she is waiting for him to be. 

Abir just wants everyone to pledge to his programme and get on with it... chop chop… the other day, Parul was right in not wanting to take Tea for Kunal… he sent her there forcefully… come on Kunal… get on with that minor inconvenience…so that Bigben can stop blackmailing me and I can run to Mishti! Same today...so what if you had a tough night that night… why haven’t you thought of your wife’s brother and gone and apologized. Arey! give him a chance to get a word in… This is such a great opportunity for Abir to get together with Kunal and start diffusing Bigben’s powers. Thanks ma... we will take it from here.. You enjoy your retirement now. I shall see you at Riyaz in the morning. Why cant he manage his mother for once! 

Another thing, why cant you be nanu's ghadedo AND meenu ka munna all the same? THAT is called balancing relationships... 

It’s only a Roka…stop being so temperamental. He jumps to conclusions hurriedly. I can see why no one wants to marry their girl to Abir.. he doesn’t have that steadiness that is needed in the head of the family… Shayari and deserting your family… udd chaloing…. No one wants a groom like that for their daughter! ghar ko jod ke chalane ke leeye sacrifices lagte hain!

Too mera Nanko nahi ho sakta! 💔Abir’s love for everyone is conditional. That needs to change

Oh my god! Each and every word rings so true and even though I have thought about this for the few seconds when the scenes came about, you tend to forget this perspective because ITV is runs on drama. The 20 minutes are so dramatic that any alternate perspective you have completely shifts to the back of your head.

I had never thought about Abir's love being conditional but when you put in words, it seems so right. I would have to disagree with the patriarch part because I genuinely don't believe that there should be one head of the family even if it's the main lead. And in a case scenario where they have such great actors, they can really showcase that how each member gets their own say and their place holds the same level of importance but sadly, in ITV, they have been trying to change the patriarchal society by showing a matriarchal one and for some reason, no family is happy. So, at the end of the day, proving that patriarchal system is the best.

Sorry for getting diverted. I just feel strongly about such things. But really! Thank you for this post and giving a different insight to the same situation. 

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

This is a perspective that absolutely needs to be out there, so thanks for making this post! 👏

The writing of this show has always presented serious inconsistencies in the relationship between actions and responsibility, especially when it comes to the leads. In this case, the way they wrote the truth coming out, it becomes more about Abir and Mishti than Kunal (even though it's about *his* identity) and the sequence of events is constructed such that Kunal spiking the drink cancels out Mishti's mistake of revealing the truth to him in the cruel manner that she did, but somehow Mishti's mistake doesn't afford any benefit of doubt to Kunal on why he didn't immediately tell Abir and apologise. Very convenient but not very convincing. 

For me, it doesn't come off as heroic or romantic that Abir completely washes his hands of Kunal every time Kunal does Meenu's dirty work. Kunal does these things, Meenu has such a grip over him *because* Abir was always too busy writing poetry,  wandering in the dessert, and wallowing in self-pity  over baba's abandonment to be there for his brother and his mom. Every time Abir was indifferent to Meenu and Kunal watched his mom get hurt, he tried and still tries to make it up to her by being the obedient son Abir never was. 

From the beginning of th show, Abir constatnly abandons Kunal when he's most vulnerable, Meenu preys on this vulnerability and convinces Kunal that it's because he didn't try hard enough to stop Abir, so Kunal follows the instructions of the one other person he trusts most to try and get him back. I have never once seen this addressed. Meenu is a difficult and often unreasonable woman, no doubt, and she can be absolutely ruthless when it comes to getting her way, but she has put this family together and provided for it for over twenty years. At the very least, she deserves a fair hearing from her son about why she thinks Mishti is wrong for the family. It is as much Abir's responsibility to handle her as it is Kunal's and he never pulls his weight; he never stops to listen. 

And that is what brings us to the conundrum he finds himself in today. Apparently the solution to not listening to Mishti is to turn around and not listen to Kunal. Wah. How many assumptions Abir made today without listening first! How does he know Kunal doesn't regret what he did? How does he know he didn't want to apologise to Nishant? Everyone knows Kunal spiked the drink because Kunal *did* own up to it, immediately, and confessed to Kuhu. He didn't immediately apologise because Mishti's revelation was extremely traumatic and left him in shock. Still, the next day he didn't hesitate to own up to his deeds when Kuhu called him out, and a mere day later, he was making his own effort to get a better idea of Meenu's involvement and confronted her directly. 

I keep hearing that Kunal needed this reality check, but honestly, why?  Any reality check he needed, he already got from Kuhu,  and not only was it was delivered in a much more effective manner but Kunal was already acting on it. 

Finally, I am apalled at the fact that Abir said he has nothing now because of Kunal (and of course we know that Parul is going to drive this home tomorrow). No Abir, you managed that one all on you own. When Kunal himself asked Abir to choose between him and Mishti -- which in my book  was really just Kunal asking Abir to pay any attention to his feelings at all -- Abir chose Mishti every time. Meenu literally had to threaten to kick Kunal and Parul out for Abir to even consider choosing his family over his love, and Abir *chose* not to tell Kunal the truth. It shows  Abir's true colours that he is openly expressing resentment at Kunal for a decision Kunal had absolutely no voice in. At least have the gumption to own up to the decisions you made to leave Kunal out of the loop! 

I am aware that the show will probably never address these issues. Kunal will have to "earn" his place as Abir's nanko (so much for unconditional love!) while Abir continues to be volatile, unreliable, and self-absorbed, and all of this will be celebrated as incredibly romantic. Still, I think it's important to call out this entitled, bull-in-a-china-shop behaviour and I'm so glad you initiated the discussion! 

I don't know what to say except thank you for this perspective because it was definitely important. The bold parts were such eye openers, especially that Nanko will have to earn his place💔. 

I had never thought about this in such depth and if the show was to just calm down and explore this perspective, I would watch it and even make my family watch it. This is so important!

your post is different so just wanted to reply

i am noone fan

but the fact is viewer r just somebody fan and they put perspective according to it

the most sanest character bp till now is getting hatred dont know for what

nannu who still not did any major thing is still

but abir and mishti every mistake is given a reason'they blame bp that why he not asked mishti to focus on career 

but what he done by sending her to london

anyway i dont want to critisise but viewers opinion really piss me off

so felt good to read some other perspective which is somewhat right

but i will not blame kunal thing or abir or vice versa or even kuhu thing on mishti or vice versa

as what how where theyall r because of each other

but as all r grown up adults so for me they all resposible for their own mesery

abir is responsible for kunal becoming this by never reprimanding his mistake but kunal is responsible for his own as he is adult 

kunal is responsible for abir misery but abir responsible for what he is in as he chose to keep quit never balance thing choose one and leave the other which you feel is correct that time like in mumbai he left kunal and on breakup day he left mishti he take one extreme side and dont know to balance thing

likewise mishti was responsible for kuhu marriage as she was just desparate to utaro her ehsaan that she never thought a guy who could leave her sister because of just her sister love how can he be good to her but she was busy is utaro her bhoj and acting mahan and getting faltu dreams but kuhu herself was responsible for that marriage as she has got many hints but she chose to be blind 

and today even kuhu is good because she was influenced by mishti and abir gyan who themselves not follow just like baba who gave good lessons to abir but he himself was a ... likewise abir and mishti just preach never practise

and for mishti misery i will not he;d anyone responsiblr as for me she is just the biggest hypocrite in whole serial and i hate her monologue always on selfsympathising mood never realise her mahan mistakes sorry they r mahan sacrificial thing for which she get gold medle from abir and her family

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

This is a perspective that absolutely needs to be out there, so thanks for making this post! 👏

The writing of this show has always presented serious inconsistencies in the relationship between actions and responsibility, especially when it comes to the leads. In this case, the way they wrote the truth coming out, it becomes more about Abir and Mishti than Kunal (even though it's about *his* identity) and the sequence of events is constructed such that Kunal spiking the drink cancels out Mishti's mistake of revealing the truth to him in the cruel manner that she did, but somehow Mishti's mistake doesn't afford any benefit of doubt to Kunal on why he didn't immediately tell Abir and apologise. Very convenient but not very convincing. 

For me, it doesn't come off as heroic or romantic that Abir completely washes his hands of Kunal every time Kunal does Meenu's dirty work. Kunal does these things, Meenu has such a grip over him *because* Abir was always too busy writing poetry,  wandering in the dessert, and wallowing in self-pity  over baba's abandonment to be there for his brother and his mom. Every time Abir was indifferent to Meenu and Kunal watched his mom get hurt, he tried and still tries to make it up to her by being the obedient son Abir never was. 

From the beginning of th show, Abir constatnly abandons Kunal when he's most vulnerable, Meenu preys on this vulnerability and convinces Kunal that it's because he didn't try hard enough to stop Abir, so Kunal follows the instructions of the one other person he trusts most to try and get him back. I have never once seen this addressed. Meenu is a difficult and often unreasonable woman, no doubt, and she can be absolutely ruthless when it comes to getting her way, but she has put this family together and provided for it for over twenty years. At the very least, she deserves a fair hearing from her son about why she thinks Mishti is wrong for the family. It is as much Abir's responsibility to handle her as it is Kunal's and he never pulls his weight; he never stops to listen. 

And that is what brings us to the conundrum he finds himself in today. Apparently the solution to not listening to Mishti is to turn around and not listen to Kunal. Wah. How many assumptions Abir made today without listening first! How does he know Kunal doesn't regret what he did? How does he know he didn't want to apologise to Nishant? Everyone knows Kunal spiked the drink because Kunal *did* own up to it, immediately, and confessed to Kuhu. He didn't immediately apologise because Mishti's revelation was extremely traumatic and left him in shock. Still, the next day he didn't hesitate to own up to his deeds when Kuhu called him out, and a mere day later, he was making his own effort to get a better idea of Meenu's involvement and confronted her directly. 

I keep hearing that Kunal needed this reality check, but honestly, why?  Any reality check he needed, he already got from Kuhu,  and not only was it was delivered in a much more effective manner but Kunal was already acting on it. 

Finally, I am apalled at the fact that Abir said he has nothing now because of Kunal (and of course we know that Parul is going to drive this home tomorrow). No Abir, you managed that one all on you own. When Kunal himself asked Abir to choose between him and Mishti -- which in my book  was really just Kunal asking Abir to pay any attention to his feelings at all -- Abir chose Mishti every time. Meenu literally had to threaten to kick Kunal and Parul out for Abir to even consider choosing his family over his love, and Abir *chose* not to tell Kunal the truth. It shows  Abir's true colours that he is openly expressing resentment at Kunal for a decision Kunal had absolutely no voice in. At least have the gumption to own up to the decisions you made to leave Kunal out of the loop! 

I am aware that the show will probably never address these issues. Kunal will have to "earn" his place as Abir's nanko (so much for unconditional love!) while Abir continues to be volatile, unreliable, and self-absorbed, and all of this will be celebrated as incredibly romantic. Still, I think it's important to call out this entitled, bull-in-a-china-shop behaviour and I'm so glad you initiated the discussion! 

i like your points but not agree completly

you r just biased toward kunal like abir fans r for abir 

today by telling kunal that because of him he has nothing today sort of shown how he has some grudge with kunal 

likewise kunal even have the grudge with abir in preleap we heard many time from kunal that its all the time about abir

there is a shlok in sanskrit whose meaning i remember as i used to tell my father

agar ma baap ne sab kuch kiya aur kah diya toh kuch nahin kiya

basically if parent do everything for child but when they tell them or start to canculate then its equal nothing they have done

likewise abir today those word wasted what he done on the name of sacrifice as kunal never asked for it he chose it by his will

dont know why mishbir fans always put mishbir discision blame on kuku and hypocrisy is even they will bash and want kuku to solve mishbir problem and act cupid 

@aqua, thanks for replying. I probably picked the wrong word. I dont mean a patriarch like bade papa. I meant to say someone who can manage the chaos in that house. Abir has so much leverage.  He gets everyone's misery but chooses to run away from it. He is the only one who can actually stop all this. 

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

@aqua, thanks for replying. I probably picked the wrong word. I dont mean a patriarch like bade papa. I meant to say someone who can manage the chaos in that house. Abir has so much leverage.  He gets everyone's misery but chooses to run away from it. He is the only one who can actually stop all this. 

Thank you for clearing it up. 

I don't know if he has leverage. Yes, maybe he gets everyone's misery but the way he processes them is according to his own moral compass, as everyone does. To be able to solve this chaos, the person needs to be empathetic and not only sympathetic. And I believe that person could be post-leap Kuhu. Even though she has her own miseries, she has been handling each and every person with so much grace. She has kept in mind how much the other person can probably handle at that stage, and still manages to show them the way.

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Thank you for clearing it up. 

I don't know if he has leverage. Yes, maybe he gets everyone's misery but the way he processes them is according to his own moral compass, as everyone does. To be able to solve this chaos, the person needs to be empathetic and not only sympathetic. And I believe that person could be post-leap Kuhu. Even though she has her own miseries, she has been handling each and every person with so much grace. She has kept in mind how much the other person can probably handle at that stage, and still manages to show them the way.

Why would Abir, who has grown up in this house not get that? Like Sam said, he likes to indulge in self pity 

@sam, you make a very good point about kunal being made to feel like an undeserving brother and son.  Everytime Abir ud chaloes, if Bigben behaved for a few days, I could see the merits in his methods.  But bigben just punishes everyone around her when Abir is not there. If Abir went to his bachelor pad to clear his head, come back and take control the situation, I would applaud  that.  Nothing of the sort happens. He just goes away to dwell in his self pity 

As for bigben, definitely a difficult woman.  Like you said, she is doing the best she can to keep the RVs together.  Not once has Abir acknowledged that she lived with her husband's mistress for 20 years.  He never takes stock of the situation