Today's promo - Page 14

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Isliye toh main bolti hoon HS kuch bhi karna band karde uskeliye. Kuch nahi milega use sivaay dard ke.

But he can't, because that's his nature. Aadat se majboor.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yeah but as spouses they can both give a common gift to her too, right? Why does it have to be one or the other?

And mini never had the chance of living with both parents together. She never knows what a together gift means. Remember babita always got things for her on her b day from ashok sent money yet ashok sent her something separately. Maybe mini dosent want the same pattern of babita using husband s money of giving her a gift.

Originally posted by: naq5

now that babita has started. During minis b day why dint she give gift together why did she insist that HS gets gift separately. Mini has got it in her mind that whatever babita gives is from her side and whatever HS gives is from his side. I'm with mini on this. If babita wants to give mini gift she has to from her own earned money. And secondly it's not that babita is abla nari and dosent have a chance or facility to earn. 1st marriage it was different babita dint have chance to earn. Here she has.

And mini never had the chance of living with both parents together. She never knows what a together gift means. Remember babita always got things for her on her b day from ashok sent money yet ashok sent her something separately. Maybe mini dosent want the same pattern of babita using husband s money of giving her a gift.

@bold - you make a great point here. She just doesn't know this so the concept is foreign.

Originally posted by: inlieu

@bold - you make a great point here. She just doesn't know this so the concept is foreign.

Mini chodo even babita dosent know. Otherwise the Payal would have come as a together gift. And even the cake. If babita can't share her gift bought with her money with HS then HS ke money ka gift babita ki taraf se kyu ho gaya. Mini ke liye to dono alag hi hai. As parents you have to set proper examples. Babita fails to do that

Could it not be that mini’s warped ideas and insistence on financial independence actually stems from a bit of ptsd over what had happened with ashok? She didn’t have a problem with babita taking money from ashok while they were married but let’s remember that she’s seen a ugly side of marriage and how when it breaks down suddenly money becomes an issue. Let’s not forget she witnessed her mother being treated really lowly where her own father spoke about everything he had done for babita Monetary wise and how he paid for her food and her shelter for 17 years (to which Babita had then replied should I keep a tally of taking care of your parents and giving u a child). Mini witnessed this from a man who was her own flesh and blood, so it’s not too far fetched for her to doubt that babita’s second marriage could also break down (no1 knows what the future holds, as was proven by what happened with ashok- who would have thought after 17 years he would divorce her). It could very well be that mini doesn’t want her mother so dependant on a man that should history ever repeat itself, babita is left in the same situation. I think it’s not so much to do with Hs or the marriage but more to do with the experience of the first divorce and the scars it left. It’s easy to forget about mini cos she’s been really practical and together for her mother, but everything that happened would have surely left her with also with scars and insecurities that will likely affect her even in her own marriage. And no1 ever quite paid as much attention to how the divorce affected her mind... just look at her opinions on love and marriage for eg

Sorry about the long rant 😆

Originally posted by: deefy89

Could it not be that mini’s warped ideas and insistence on financial independence actually stems from a bit of ptsd over what had happened with ashok? She didn’t have a problem with babita taking money from ashok while they were married but let’s remember that she’s seen a ugly side of marriage and how when it breaks down suddenly money becomes an issue. Let’s not forget she witnessed her mother being treated really lowly where her own father spoke about everything he had done for babita Monetary wise and how he paid for her food and her shelter for 17 years (to which Babita had then replied should I keep a tally of taking care of your parents and giving u a child). Mini witnessed this from a man who was her own flesh and blood, so it’s not too far fetched for her to doubt that babita’s second marriage could also break down (no1 knows what the future holds, as was proven by what happened with ashok- who would have thought after 17 years he would divorce her). It could very well be that mini doesn’t want her mother so dependant on a man that should history ever repeat itself, babita is left in the same situation. I think it’s not so much to do with Hs or the marriage but more to do with the experience of the first divorce and the scars it left. It’s easy to forget about mini cos she’s been really practical and together for her mother, but everything that happened would have surely left her with also with scars and insecurities that will likely affect her even in her own marriage. And no1 ever quite paid as much attention to how the divorce affected her mind... just look at her opinions on love and marriage for eg

Sorry about the long rant 😆

Firstly, you don't need to apologize.

Secondly, I agree with your viewpoints and I had touched upon some of these yesterday. However, the execution or presentation of these issues were horrible. Rather than showing Minnie's opinion on the matter, they're forcing her thoughts and beliefs onto us and Babita. They're not opening up a dialogue where two opposing ideas could stand beside each other. Instead, they're being pitted against one another and Minnie's viewpoint in being presented as the only correct one while Babita's is wrong. Then amidst all of this, HS is being used as a tool wherein all these differences can either be created or be bounced off of as if he weren't a living being with his own emotions.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Firstly, you don't need to apologize.

Secondly, I agree with your viewpoints and I had touched upon some of these yesterday. However, the execution or presentation of these issues were horrible. Rather than showing Minnie's opinion on the matter, they're forcing her thoughts and beliefs onto us and Babita. They're not opening up a dialogue where two opposing ideas could stand beside each other. Instead, they're being pitted against one another and Minnie's viewpoint in being presented as the only correct one while Babita's is wrong. Then amidst all of this, HS is being used as a tool wherein all these differences can either be created or be bounced off of as if he weren't a living being with his own emotions.

Absolutely agree about the poor execution and HS being looked at as a constant and often as an inanimate object.

Originally posted by: deefy89

Could it not be that mini’s warped ideas and insistence on financial independence actually stems from a bit of ptsd over what had happened with ashok? She didn’t have a problem with babita taking money from ashok while they were married but let’s remember that she’s seen a ugly side of marriage and how when it breaks down suddenly money becomes an issue. Let’s not forget she witnessed her mother being treated really lowly where her own father spoke about everything he had done for babita Monetary wise and how he paid for her food and her shelter for 17 years (to which Babita had then replied should I keep a tally of taking care of your parents and giving u a child). Mini witnessed this from a man who was her own flesh and blood, so it’s not too far fetched for her to doubt that babita’s second marriage could also break down (no1 knows what the future holds, as was proven by what happened with ashok- who would have thought after 17 years he would divorce her). It could very well be that mini doesn’t want her mother so dependant on a man that should history ever repeat itself, babita is left in the same situation. I think it’s not so much to do with Hs or the marriage but more to do with the experience of the first divorce and the scars it left. It’s easy to forget about mini cos she’s been really practical and together for her mother, but everything that happened would have surely left her with also with scars and insecurities that will likely affect her even in her own marriage. And no1 ever quite paid as much attention to how the divorce affected her mind... just look at her opinions on love and marriage for eg

Sorry about the long rant 😆

You are probably right but bottom line is, she needs help, cause this is just not the way to deak with it. Get her to that shrink asap. Ptds is also a major issue. One does not get rid of it just by herself.

Originally posted by: naq5

Mini chodo even babita dosent know. Otherwise the Payal would have come as a together gift. And even the cake. If babita can't share her gift bought with her money with HS then HS ke money ka gift babita ki taraf se kyu ho gaya. Mini ke liye to dono alag hi hai. As parents you have to set proper examples. Babita fails to do that

The problem is, she doesn't even reflect on these matters. She is so caught up in pretending everything is like before.

Originally posted by: _Reka_

The problem is, she doesn't even reflect on these matters. She is so caught up in pretending everything is like before.

actually Babita should have thought of mini-HS dynamics before asking mini to be financially dependent on HS. they are not father daughter yet and mini will obviously be more comfortable being financially dependant on babita not HS. Right now everything from minis fees, food, books etc are going to be HS salary, now if babita wants to give gift too from it mini is going to feel that my mother can earn but dosent want to, not even for her daughter. I said in another thread that it should have been a slow process with HS first taking care of few things financially for mini.

And secondly with the marriage mini dint know that she would have to be financially dependent on HS. Babita dint talk to her before marriage about it. And remember the HS mini talk where HS was telling that your mother is capable now to take care of herself and her daughter financially, she needs a husband and a partner only for companionship & for love. So somewhere to her a different picture was shown before marriage and now something else is happening. This is not a first marriage where it is only about 2 people. this is a 2nd marriage where the opinion and comfort of children too needs to be taken into account majorly. Babita keeps saying she will think about mini first in this marriage but she really hasnt. Mini is already dealing with changes after babita HS marriage this was not the right time for her to be dealing with babita getting her dependent on HS financially.

And in all this it is minis disappointment with babita not her acceptance of HS which is making her say all these things