Illusions - Aa Jao Saarey - Full Update Page 7 - Page 13

Hi all..i have been silent member of this forum...I watched today's episode and wanted to share an incident after watching Babita today. Her denial of feelings for her husband brought back to me a childhood memory. I had asked my mom that why woman feel ashamed to have desires or feelings for their own husband.

I was sitting in a group of my female relatives and we were discussing general college romance. Suddenly ladies of elder generation (30-40 age) started saying proudly that they didn't fell in the trap of love...and when we I pointed out that they have husband to fall in love with...they denied the feelings of love. I was shocked. Later, when I asked my mom privately about this she said for women in our society, love/feeling for man (even to ur own husband) are considered taboo just like sex. We women are suppose to control our feelings, our desires and it is expected from us that we shouldn't voice them before our husband also. For men, there is little lineancy. He can speak about them but only to his wife in private and cannot even display affection or love in front of other family members. That's why earlier in the day, the women panchayat were gladly declaring that after their kids reached certain age (teenage for kids and women 30-35) both husband and wife started sleeping in different rooms because they don't wanted to be judged by society for having love for ur spouse after a certain age. Men and women are only expected to get married, have kids and then fulfill their responsibilities/duties towards kids,family and society. There is no place for display of love and no sex too.

But every generation have rebels. A husband who doesn't agrees with these set of rules, display his love by bringing flowers (gajra) for wife or her favourite snacks in tightly wrapped newspaper and the wife will cook husband's favorite meal (it is their code language because the other family members in the household wouldn't know that the food cooked is husband's favorite. This meal secret is between husband and wife only), plus an extra serving of kheer.

When I asked Mom, does she agrees with it and will she be behaving like that after she crosses 30/35...she said of course not silly as she doesn't believe it and by the time she will reach her 35-40, this situation will change. Infact, it is already happening. Why do u think SRK and love stories films are becoming a rage these days?!

So what I understood is 'acknowledgment of romantic feelings towards ur own husband' is a big thing for Babita. Hopefully she will understand that time has changed and it is good to have and share her romantic feelings with her husband even after reaching a certain age.

Originally posted by: Resham

I love to see an angry HS.... Precap dekhke sukoon mila tbh... Jab pyar se samjhata hai nahi samajhte ab jhelo iska gussa.... 😎

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

For the Hanita scene, I liked HS' side of it. Babita was just... no comment. 🤔 She was being so difficult today.

I still think it's Minnie who's first for him. After all, he did meet her first and appreciated the strength of her character. Babita toh baad mein aayi.

I don't know if she understood him to be honest. She was being a bit much today. Will have to watch the episode again to get a proper reading on her, but out of the three, she fell flat for me.

I can understand Minnie's complaints, but the truth is that she never told Babes about the college admission. Babita had once even asked what came of it, but Minnie had lied to her saying that she didn't get in. In that case, it's not Babita's fault. Minnie chose to lie and stay back for her mother. It was a sacrifice that shouldn't be asked of a child, but she still chose to make it. But now that Babita is married, Minnie should really start focusing on herself. It's not too late for her.

Well he kept saying how attracted he was towards Babita and that it was always love and all. So, all in all, I think for him he loved Babita first and then he started loving Mini, being father figure towards her (not necessarily to impress Babita), but he developed soft corner towards her because Mini reminded him of Imarti's choori. So, I don't know what the writers are trying to prove. Its contradicting statements.

Babita did understand HS though she was in denial mode, and she will because she apologizes for her behavior to him later on per the segments, and we also saw how she's totally basking in his love. She says she wants to take all of that and just wants to enjoy it. So, I feel after their conversation, she truly is trying her best. She's happy. One segment she also says "mein koi compromises nahi chahti, puri tarah doop jana chahti hun iss pyaar mein, bas woh rahe, mein rahoon aur teesra koi nahi". She's finally coming out of guilt, fear or perhaps log kya kahenge crap I feel. Of course, Mini will feel neglected in all this. But thats another topic all together.

Originally posted by: naq5

yes she actually questioned hs that if he dint bother about what people were talking about mini, if he kept mickey at the house he dint love mini. And here was hs trying to make babes understand for minis sake and she questioned him if he loves mini why is he not finding her. Now if HS parenting style dosent match hers then he dosent love mini?

It's something that she'll have to learn with time. She's been a single parent for 17 years, and if anything deviates from her way, she'll have a tough time dealing with it. They'll clash for a bit but eventually they'll find a way to co-parent without too many issues.

Originally posted by: deepzz

Hi all..i have been silent member of this forum...I watched today's episode and wanted to share an incident after watching Babita today. Her denial of feelings for her husband brought back to me a childhood memory. I had asked my mom that why woman feel ashamed to have desires or feelings for their own husband.

I was sitting in a group of my female relatives and we were discussing general college romance. Suddenly ladies of elder generation (30-40 age) started saying proudly that they didn't fell in the trap of love...and when we I pointed out that they have husband to fall in love with...they denied the feelings of love. I was shocked. Later, when I asked my mom privately about this she said for women in our society, love/feeling for man (even to ur own husband) are considered taboo just like sex. We women are suppose to control our feelings, our desires and it is expected from us that we shouldn't voice them before our husband also. For men, there is little lineancy. He can speak about them but only to his wife in private and cannot even display affection or love in front of other family members. That's why earlier in the day, the women panchayat were gladly declaring that after their kids reached certain age (teenage for kids and women 30-35) both husband and wife started sleeping in different rooms because they don't wanted to be judged by society for having love for ur spouse after a certain age. Men and women are only expected to get married, have kids and then fulfill their responsibilities/duties towards kids,family and society. There is no place for display of love and no sex too.

But every generation have rebels. A husband who doesn't agrees with these set of rules, display his love by bringing flowers (gajra) for wife or her favourite snacks in tightly wrapped newspaper and the wife will cook husband's favorite meal (it is their code language because the other family members in the household wouldn't know that the food cooked is husband's favorite. This meal secret is between husband and wife only), plus an extra serving of kheer.

When I asked Mom, does she agrees with it and will she be behaving like that after she crosses 30/35...she said of course not silly as she doesn't believe it and by the time she will reach her 35-40, this situation will change. Infact, it is already happening. Why do u think SRK and love stories films are becoming a rage these days?!

So what I understood is 'acknowledgment of romantic feelings towards ur own husband' is a big thing for Babita. Hopefully she will understand that time has changed and it is good to have and share her romantic feelings with her husband even after reaching a certain age.

Thanks for sharing this!

My concern is that this mentality seems to belong to an older generation; perhaps something that Babita's parents will believe. I wouldn't be surprised if this was instilled into Babita as well. Then given the fact that Ashok was never around, she never had the freedom to express her desires for him. Even in their private times, we don't know how close they were, or how much Babita expressed to him. There still seemed to be a lot that she kept quiet.

Then the same thing with HS. It was all through silent communication that she expressed her love for him, never in blunt words.

I really do hope she breaks out of this mentality and truly starts expressing herself more. Otherwise, this is a really sad and in some ways, a horrifying state to live your life in.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

I wasn't annoyed with Babita. She is still in denial but it was clear that she knew where HS was coming from. She just didn't acknowledge it in front of him, but she will as you know from the segments. She tried to focus on the fact that HS couldn't be Mini's father like she wanted him to be. That is her fears and insecurities coming out again. I am positive she will understand where HS is coming from.

I just don't get why though. He's her husband now, toh ab kis baat ka darr hai isko? It's like HS said, they can put up whatever front they want to the world but they should at least be honest with each other.

Sometimes I just want Babita to let HS be so that he can have a moment of peace.

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Their standards are not based on any living person, just on some ideal which also has conflicting attributes, so no one could actually meet them irl

It sucks that they're expecting HS to meet them. I get that they've been through a lot and what someone won't screw them over, but HS has been through a lot too. He also has some needs and wants of his own that he wants to be fulfilled but he doesn't hold it over their heads.

If his relationship to Minnie was just to give Babita surety..why did he say to Naem bi before marriage that his relation with Minnie had nothing to do with Babita ? Why sudden change in HaNie bonding..when HS n Minnie interacted like father and daughter , Babita was no where in the picture..in fact at that time HS was angry with Babita when in morning he addresses Minnie as his daughter.. this show got ruined for me .. I used to love their bond.. not sure why they messed it up like this. .

Originally posted by: _Reka_

My problem with the precap is, that putting down his feet is OK but he should do it for his own reasons and not to appease Babita... Because she is often highly unreasonable

Agreed.

He can't please Babita all the time. He needs to let his wants and needs known and have her live up to them. It's all about give and take. Kuch tum do, aur kuch hum denge.

I've tears in my eyes reading only the update.

😵