Sept 11th: The guilt trap - Page 8

Originally posted by: deefy89

Yes they a co dependant but that was not my point. My point is that even tho they’re meant to share this bond, babita fails to see beyond mini’s fake smile, just as she seems to fail to see mini’s insecurities. Mickey does. Babita doesn’t, get mini is so in tune with her mothers feelings.

I agree a convo is needed, but more importantly I think babitas character needs to grow up a bit and stop being so child like. Every time they show her taking a step forward and evolving, she takes a few steps back. I would personally like to see her standing on her own two feet, without mini constantly needing to coach and reassure her. She needed it at the start, but she’s done so many brave things that they should show her not needing it anymore.

It seems that it’s all leading to them being a bit independent of each other, which is good. I’m keen to see how it plays out

But you’re making the presumption that codependency automatically translates to same levels of sensitivity and perception. Being co-dependent doesn’t necessarily make you equally tuned into each other.

Many factors play a part. Personality, age etc. Babes and Mini are very different in nature so their way of expressing that co-dependency varies.

For Babita, Mini is the stronger one that she relies on...yes, she’s her mother but she still leans on her daughter more. For Mini, she also considers her mother the fragile one so she is more anticipatory of her sensitivities.....over time, ppl fall into habits and don’t always think that things can be beyond the usual pattern.

That is what is happening with Babita....she is so used to Mini being strong enough to sambhaalo her, she also has started fixating on her own fragility....they will both need a jolt to evolve from this dynamic and give each other room to grow.

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

I have been wary of Mini the super girl and Babes damsel in distress for sometime. Babes is so occupied in her own web of thoughts and is unaware about people around her. Never saw this side of hers. Bit difficult to digest at times.

Let's just hope the larger conclusion is worth it at the end. So far PB has always concluded issues in a brilliant manner.

It’s cuz of the wedding. She’s always been like this only. Rooth ke kamre mein baith jaana, stew karna. She did it since the beginning of the show.

What’s different now is the wedding has consumed everything...she has no other work or task to focus on during the days....atleast none that we are Shown. Lol she’s being pampered as a bride but getting consumed by her own thoughts...she’s always had a tendency to overthink. This wedding has accelerated that tendency.

Originally posted by: deefy89

Every time they show her taking a step forward and evolving, she takes a few steps back. I would personally like to see her standing on her own two feet, without mini constantly needing to coach and reassure her. She needed it at the start, but she’s done so many brave things that they should show her not needing it anymore.

But didn't we get a hint of that yesterday when Babita stood up against Kammo and Khatri? No one egged her on. Agreed, things got out of hand and she wasn't able to handle the fallout properly, but she still took that initiative, especially in public.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

LMFAOOOO, I will never get over that song. 🤣🤣

On one hand, we had HS spreading fire within her with his Dheere Jalne and on the other we have her Pyaasi Rehne Do. Like, da eeffff???

Stop being so damn thirsty Babes and have a sip of that sweet, cool water. 😎🤣

You are funny. 😆

This totally cracked me up at work.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

But you’re making the presumption that codependency automatically translates to same levels of sensitivity and perception. Being co-dependent doesn’t necessarily make you equally tuned into each other.

Many factors play a part. Personality, age etc. Babes and Mini are very different in nature so their way of expressing that co-dependency varies.

For Babita, Mini is the stronger one that she relies on...yes, she’s her mother but she still leans on her daughter more. For Mini, she also considers her mother the fragile one so she is more anticipatory of her sensitivities.....over time, ppl fall into habits and don’t always things can be beyond the usual pattern.

That is what is happening with Babita....she is so used to Mini being strong enough to sambhaalo her, she also has started fixating on her own fragility....they will both need a jolt to evolve from this dynamic and give each other room to grow.

In my mind there is a difference between the bond they share and the codependency that they have. The bond relates to the fact that they’re self proclaimed best friends who defy all usual mother daughter relationships in the sense they can share anything with each other, without limitation. The codependency is the unhealthy way in which they’ve entwined their lives. It because of this bond and then being friends that I’d expect babita to be equally as perceptive on mini’s feelings, but she is not. I mean kind of how mickey is able to see behind her fake smile?? I just feel like through all of the coaching that babita needs, mini is often forgotten about. Even going thru the divorce bit, there was never a time where it was about mini’s feelings (it was both of their suffering I believe, but babitas suffering took precedence) and this eventually lead to depression.

I get babita being used to mini being strong, however the fact that she had depression and hid this also should prove that she is not. She is only 17 after all and going through her own identity crisis, simultaneously to babita. Seems they’re finally going to highlight this. I would think after the marriage and babita being more settled, a bit of focus can also be put on mini.

On a side note I’ve seen a lot of ppl say ashok could be returning, do u know if this is true?

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

But didn't we get a hint of that yesterday when Babita stood up against Kammo and Khatri? No one egged her on. Agreed, things got out of hand and she wasn't able to handle the fallout properly, but she still took that initiative, especially in public.

I don’t think so. For me she did her usual emotional outburst without really thinking. I think this had more to do with her being embarrassed than her actually trying to stand up to Kharti. The fact is that is was a bit rude what she said (as Kammo pointed out, the invitation was addressed to mr and mrs, and she was insulting kammo because of khatri). She could have stood up to khatri by just addressing what he was saying about her rather than insult the pair. Khatri might be a pig but he is her husband and they have previously shown kammo as visibly uncomfortable when they say stuff about khatri. Btw I’m in no way condoning what either kammo or khatri said.

Kammo went against her husband to work for Babes..she has shown some extent of loyalty. She is her employee and her friend...I kind of understand Kammos anger but yes she went too far..she let her own ego get in the way and spewed too much crap. She could have simply stated that she expected Babita to have her back and leave it at that. She was absolutely wrong to go after Minni.

What I'm basically trying to say it's not black and white situation...both are at fault. Not to mention that Babita runs off instead of consoling Minni..I feel like it became more about her than Minni

Awesome analysis of the episode by you, Anu! 🤗

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

Kammo went against her husband to work for Babes..she has shown some extent of loyalty. She is her employee and her friend...I kind of understand Kammos anger but yes she went too far..she let her own ego get in the way and spewed too much crap. She could have simply stated that she expected Babita to have her back and leave it at that. She was absolutely wrong to go after Minni.

What I'm basically trying to say it's not black and white situation...both are at fault. Not to mention that Babita runs off instead of consoling Minni..I feel like it became more about her than Minni

No situation is black and white in this show but I personally don’t think Kammo has done anything to be given this much benefit of doubt for what she did yesterday.

As I said, this “friendship” will always be tenuous and superficial as long as she continues to be a wife blindly defending her disgusting husband.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I’m not looking for immediate solutions in that this shouldn’t impact Mini at all....😕...I get that it has to be absorbed and worked through.

But PB is usually better than this about intermediate scenes. Yesterday it wasn’t. As I said, the Amrit manthan stuff is also ongoing but those convos were way better handled in epis from last week.

I think it's the wedding that's taking the toll now. Like for me, the moment I hear about taiyaariyan or preps or things like that, I feel bored. I'm done with the wedding process, it has really tested my patience.

And agar Khatri pati hai, toh Ashok bhi pati tha. Babita should have also kept defending him at any cost? Why do we as women not lament this thinking more? Sabne stride mein le liya hai🤷‍♀️....ki jab tak pati na chhode, you keep defending his so called izzat?

To a certain limit, here is the difference between Babita and Kammo. She chose to stand up for herself whereas Kammo is still confined in the boundaries. As far as I feel, yes, her husband is disgusting but the fact that Babita, the sober Babita, too bad mouthed him publicly might not have gone down well with her. Maybe she didn't expect the naive Babita to speak up so harshly. Or, it might be the invite remark that pissed her off. As in, she would've thought Khatri was invited and then later if they make an issue about inviting him, it's odd for her too.

Why are we expected to sympathize with a Kammo who talked so cheaply about a child who has been so nice to her simply cuz she stated the TRUTH of how ghatiya her pati is? Is Khatri not ghatiya? Did everyone not already know this? So why is Kammo expecting honor for him? You made the bed, you have to lie in it. She expects others to give him respect just cuz he’s her husband? No matter how he behaves?

He friggin MOLESTED Babita...but still she is expected to give him respect for Kammo’s sake? 😕

I don't know. Unable to explain this any further but the fact is, I don't blame Kammo. I don't blame her for feeling the way she did, nor do I support what she said.