About Pari and her mother, Mishti and Dadi

NK1865 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
#1

I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but this topic has been striking me for a long time. Since the start of the show, the same topic has come up again and again about Nandini's pic not being hung up in the house and Pari being hurt about it. Will explore this later, but I first want to talk more about Pari first.

My big question is why isn't Pari talking to anyone about her feelings of her mother and her desires for her mother to be recognised as well? One response that comes up is that she's suppressing her feelings cos of her sister's and Dadi's pain, but the thing is how do you know whether a topic is safe to bring up unless you actually attempt to bring it up? And I find that this is one big flaw of Pari- she always hides her feelings from others despite the fact that she is supposed to be close to them. Mishti and Dadi have to find out from others that Pari is even in love. Not calling it a crime, but a side effect of Pari's past.

Back to the topic, yes, I agree that part of the responsibility of breaching this sensitive topic lies on Mishti and Dadi too. But before that, firstly, where is the proof they didn't allow Pari to hang up her mother's picture? There never has been such a sequence before. The most probable explanation is that they chose to avoid hanging up the picture to prevent opening up a can of worms. As it leads to reminiscing the painful past. And no one advised them against it or brought up the topic of Nandini's picture since then. But let's not forget all are making mistakes due to the shadows of their convoluted past. And all are coping with their own demons. Just as Pari is. If she really wants it, she should speak up for it and not keep things hidden. No one, even your closed ones will know your feelings unless you speak up. Till now, no family member has given the impression of shutting Pari down when she talks about her feelings. Pari chooses not to cos she thinks it's the right thing to do. But hiding your pain away is not the best solution. This post isn't to justify Mishti and Dadi, but to hightlight Pari too has a part in this, like Mishti and Dadi do.

As for hanging Nandini's picture up, I do not get why it's portrayed as wrong and as a point to prove that no one in the family cares much for Pari. From the forum itself, it is clear that there's divided views on this. If Mishti was to hang up Nandini's photo tomorrow, there'll be a group who'll come and bash her for being insensitive to her mother's pain. My point is it's ambiguous if it's right or wrong as it's a grey zone and is intertwined with people's feelings. What's important is for the characters to sit down, talk and make a joint decision to hang up Nandini's photo or not.

As for claiming that the family doesn't care about Pari, really? When has anyone in the family treated Pari as an outsider? They easily could have, if they saw her as Nandini's daughter and not as an individual whom they loved. Dadi and Mishti were really happy to hear that Pari was in love. Mishti defended Pari against a molester at her birthday party, just like Pari recently defended Mishti's honour. Mishti was happy to see Pari modelling for Ruhaan's photoshoot and that she along with Ruhaan won first prize. Same as Pari's happiness in Mishti's success. That is because they care for each other deeply. But yes, they aren't the most perfect sisters cos they hide things from each other. But to claim the family doesn't care for Pari solely based on the fact that Nandini's picture hasn't been hung up is nonsensical considering the aforementioned points. It paints a portrait of Pari as a victim, which she isn't. She's just another flawed individual whose haunted by the past like Mishti and Dadi are.

This is my POV on this topic. Please share your thoughts as well.

Edited by NK1865 - 6 years ago

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Posted: 6 years ago
#2

Nice to read your views about it.

Just sharing my view, not bashing any particular character.

You yourself have pointed out some of the answers to your question.

Pari always hiding her emotions from everyone is a big flaw of her. I completely agree with you on this font. But I find Radhika to be somewhat responsible for it. It's not just Pari even Mishti can't open herself in front of her family members. Remember when she confused in Su bua??? I would say that was one of the heilights of the show. But then the question comes why both the sisters are like this?

After a certain age, everybody is responsible for their own choices. Still how a person would grow up depends on his/her upbringing. Why do you think these days so many ads and short films are made on child psychology and with directions for parents?

Children are secretive. I know it perfectly well because I have lots of nephews and nieces. You have to continuously assure them that you'll be there for them no matter what so that they open up to you. A highly modern family with two well educated sisters who have serious misconception about love and life. Don't you this has to something to do with their upbringing which points to Radhika?

And then one of the most controversial topics of this forum - why Nandini's photo isn't on the wall. You have said yourself that no direct indication has been given till date. So just like I don't have a proof that Mishti and Radhika are responsible for it you don't have any proof of their innocense either. 🙂 I just don't think a girl who can't even see her half sister gazing at a locker has such a big heart that she would be open to hanging her picture on the wall. Not bashing Mishti but as a person she is selfish, even die-hard MishAan fans agreed to it.

Lastly, there was a dialogue in Grey's Anatomy that it's one thing to love someone but another thing to respect them. Pari worships Mishti but Mishti is the soul decision maker of the house being the eldest one. I have seen her love but honestly I haven't seen her trusting Pari ever on her own. Either Ruhaan or Veer was there to pat her back and assure her that everything is going to be okay. So I have doubt how much scope or assurance Pari got from this family when she was young.

So somewhere even though I don't blame Mishti as she was only 2 years older, I most certainly blame Radhika for failing to bring up the sisters.

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Posted: 6 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: nushy1995

Nice to read your views about it.

Just sharing my view, not bashing any particular character.

You yourself have pointed out some of the answers to your question.

Pari always hiding her emotions from everyone is a big flaw of her. I completely agree with you on this font. But I find Radhika to be somewhat responsible for it. It's not just Pari even Mishti can't open herself in front of her family members. Remember when she confused in Su bua??? I would say that was one of the heilights of the show. But then the question comes why both the sisters are like this?

After a certain age, everybody is responsible for their own choices. Still how a person would grow up depends on his/her upbringing. Why do you think these days so many ads and short films are made on child psychology and with directions for parents?

Children are secretive. I know it perfectly well because I have lots of nephews and nieces. You have to continuously assure them that you'll be there for them no matter what so that they open up to you. A highly modern family with two well educated sisters who have serious misconception about love and life. Don't you this has to something to do with their upbringing which points to Radhika?

And then one of the most controversial topics of this forum - why Nandini's photo isn't on the wall. You have said yourself that no direct indication has been given till date. So just like I don't have a proof that Mishti and Radhika are responsible for it you don't have any proof of their innocense either. 🙂 I just don't think a girl who can't even see her half sister gazing at a locker has such a big heart that she would be open to hanging her picture on the wall. Not bashing Mishti but as a person she is selfish, even die-hard MishAan fans agreed to it.

Lastly, there was a dialogue in Grey's Anatomy that it's one thing to love someone but another thing to respect them. Pari worships Mishti but Mishti is the soul decision maker of the house being the eldest one. I have seen her love but honestly I haven't seen her trusting Pari ever on her own. Either Ruhaan or Veer was there to pat her back and assure her that everything is going to be okay. So I have doubt how much scope or assurance Pari got from this family when she was young.

So somewhere even though I don't blame Mishti as she was only 2 years older, I most certainly blame Radhika for failing to bring up the sisters.

Well the upbringing thing might be a possibility, but it's not true that you need a sense of assurance to open up. As a kid you need it, not as an adult. I'm in the medical field and part of our training does involve handling psychiatric disorders. If you look at patients with depression, not all of them come from broken households. A number of them come from loving households. They have close, supportive friends. Yet most of their family members and friends do not find out about their condition till it's very late because the person chooses to hide it behind their smiles. To only say you need assurance to speak out is a simplification of human psyche. People have a lot more to battle with, including their internal emotions and complex thoughts. So assurance is solely not a factor.

As I said in my post, I never called Mishti or Dadi innocent. I clearly said they have a part in this as do Pari. I agree that I have no proof of their innocence but I am not the one going around saying that Mishti and Dadi are responsible and are not allowing Pari to hang her mother's photo in her own house. Pari fans are. You yourself liked such an incriminating post. 😊 So why are people accusing them without any proof? I said that there's a higher likelihood that they chose to do it to avoid their bad past. This presumption was on the basis if Pari had brought this topic up and they had rejected without listening to her pleas, Pari might have held at least a slight resentment against them. Pari isn't a Mahan TV lead and putting myself in her place, I would feel resentment as well. Till date, Pari has shown no such resentment.

And who said that Mishti couldn't stand her sister (I choose not to use half-sister) staring at her mother's locket? If I recall correctly, Pari's locket got stuck with Mishti's necklace in the early episodes. She was visibly uncomfortable, but she said nothing and only shut the locket close. If she really didn't want her sister to gaze at the locket, she could have told Pari to discard or not wear the locket directly or could have thrown it away without Pari's knowledge. Neither of which she did. So on what basis are you claiming that she doesn't have a heart to accept? Till date, we have never seen a sequence of her saying that she won't accept Nandini even for Pari. In fact, she cared for Pari's feelings so much that when she burst out about Kunal and Nandini during the charades, it was Pari's face she first saw and stopped seeing she was hurt. So what guarantee is there that she won't even consider the possibility of hanging Nandini's photo up for Pari's happiness? If she knew it was bothering Pari and she wanted that and chose not to do it, then yes we can claim that she doesn't have a big heart to do that for her sister.

Moreover, Mishti is not overall a selfish person. She has a moments of selfishness, just like Pari. She also does have her moments of selflessness. Yes, Mishti was the decision maker of the family, which made her more dominant in terms of handling the family affairs and she worries about her family members. And when has Mishti not trusted Pari on her own?

She was angry in the initial episodes as she felt Pari was behaving irresponsibly. She was slightly upset with Pari with the way she handled the client and only advised her. But to be honest, in the real world, no client would have accepted to give the contract with the way Pari behaved. But it worked out for the best. Ever since then, she has said nothing to Pari about the way she was handling her job nor controlled her. It was Pari's decision to model for Ruhaan. Mishti was upset Pari didn't inform her, in the context of an older sister who wanted to know about her sister's accomplishment. She was happy instead to see Pari's happiness. If Mishti didn't trust Pari on her own, she could have refused and grilled Ruhaan about his intentions especially since it was in the phase she didn't trust Ruhaan completely. She trusted Pari's decision. When Veer told her to hand over her job duties to Pari, did she ever argue that she didn't want to do that cos she didn't trust Pari or her capabilities? She trusted Pari with the responsibilities. Her reluctance stemmed from the fact she didn't want to give up her job now. Even now, when she found out that Pari's in love, if she really didn't trust Pari, she could have really probed her. She does trust in Pari's decisions.

Mishti took on the role of playing parent. Playing parent does not mean she does not trust or respect Pari. If she really was that untrusting, she'll constantly be questioning Pari about her decisions, both personal and professional. And we haven't seen Mishti doing that in the show.

Edited by NK1865 - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: NK1865

Well the upbringing thing might be a possibility, but it's not true that you need a sense of assurance to open up. As a kid you need it, not as an adult. I'm in the medical field and part of our training does involve handling psychiatric disorders. If you look at patients with depression, not all of them come from broken households. A number of them come from loving households. They have close, supportive friends. Yet most of their family members and friends do not find out about their condition till it's very late because the person chooses to hide it behind their smiles. To only say you need assurance to speak out is a simplification of human psyche. People have a lot more to battle with, including their internal emotions and complex thoughts. So assurance is solely not a factor.

Sorry dear, but I agree to disagree. How a person was treated in childhood plays a very important role in his/her adult life. I respect your opinion as a physician. But it's not depression that Pari is dealing with. It's sense of belonging.

An adult just doesn't fall from tree. His childhood plays an important role in shaping him up. As I have said in my post too, why do we now put so much emphasize on childhood technique. We could just open clinics with professional psychiatrists to help people. That would actually help lots of working parents.

As I said in my post, I never called Mishti or Dadi innocent. I clearly said they have a part in this as do Pari. I agree that I have no proof of their innocence but I am not the one going around saying that Mishti and Dadi are responsible and are not allowing Pari to hang her mother's photo in her own house. Pari fans are. You yourself liked such an incriminating post. 😊 So why are people accusing them without any proof? I said that there's a higher likelihood that they chose to do it to avoid their bad past. This presumption was on the basis if Pari had brought this topic up and they had rejected without listening to her pleas, Pari might have held at least a slight resentment against them. Pari isn't a Mahan TV lead and putting myself in her place, I would feel resentment as well. Till date, Pari has shown no such resentment.

If you could point out which comment then I might be able to defend myself. Not everyone show their resentment in the same way. Besides, thanks to Sweety and Sandhya she got to know about KuNan's KAARNAME. As you have said, human psych is complex. It's not completely impossible that she does resent them unconsciously but her conscious mind knows her parents were wrong from ethical ground so she herself puts up with it. You could only see her outburst if someday she actually alleges Mishti of the cheating once MishAan truth comes out. Completely depends on writer how they show it or if they even address the issue.

And who said that Mishti couldn't stand her sister (I choose not to use half-sister) staring at her mother's locket? If I recall correctly, Pari's locket got stuck with Mishti's necklace in the early episodes. She was visibly uncomfortable, but she said nothing and only shut the locket close. If she really didn't want her sister to gaze at the locket, she could have told Pari to discard or not wear the locket directly or could have thrown it away without Pari's knowledge. Neither of which she did. So on what basis are you claiming that she doesn't have a heart to accept?

I am saying on the basis of my understanding and experience. No one is perfect and you have to accept someone with their past baggage. If I had truly loved someone, I would even put up with some craps that make me uncomfortable. Don't think I am preaching here. I have honestly done that. During my teenage days hated someone with all might and still dislike him a lot. But the guy is very important to someone very close to me. So these days I do behave cordially with him. I wasn't MAHAAN in your words. But with time I have learned to sacrifice for my loved ones. Even when it means accepting someone else. So, I don't see how Mishti's love for Pari is greater than her hatred for Nandini.

Till date, we have never seen a sequence of her saying that she won't accept Nandini even for Pari.

We haven't seen the other way too. So it still remains a debate. 😊

In fact, she cared for Pari's feelings so much that when she burst out about Kunal and Nandini during the charades, it was Pari's face she first saw and stopped seeing she was hurt. So what guarantee is there that she won't even consider the possibility of hanging Nandini's photo up for Pari's happiness? If she knew it was bothering Pari and she wanted that and chose not to do it, then yes we can claim that she doesn't have a big heart to do that for her sister.

Moreover, Mishti is not overall a selfish person. She has a moments of selfishness, just like Pari. She also does have her moments of selflessness. Yes, Mishti was the decision maker of the family, which made her more dominant in terms of handling the family affairs and she worries about her family members. And when has Mishti not trusted Pari on her own?

She was angry in the initial episodes as she felt Pari was behaving irresponsibly. She was slightly upset with Pari with the way she handled the client and only advised her. But to be honest, in the real world, no client would have accepted to give the contract with the way Pari behaved. But it worked out for the best. Ever since then, she has said nothing to Pari about the way she was handling her job nor controlled her. It was Pari's decision to model for Ruhaan. Mishti was upset Pari didn't inform her, in the context of an older sister who wanted to know about her sister's accomplishment. She was happy instead to see Pari's happiness. If Mishti didn't trust Pari on her own, she could have refused and grilled Ruhaan about his intentions especially since it was in the phase she didn't trust Ruhaan completely. She trusted Pari's decision. When Veer told her to hand over her job duties to Pari, did she ever argue that she didn't want to do that cos she didn't trust Pari or her capabilities? She trusted Pari with the responsibilities. Her reluctance stemmed from the fact she didn't want to give up her job now. Even now, when she found out that Pari's in love, if she really didn't trust Pari, she could have really probed her. She does trust in Pari's decisions.

You are forgetting that even Pari fans pointed that out. I am the youngest one too and believe me, have been disciplined by my elder brother even more than my parents. Each decision so far I have taken, he showed faith in me. I didn't need his girlfriend's permission. It was Veer who said Pari would handle it well with Ruhaan and at that phase Mishti was agreeing to everything Veer said to her. Otherwise a wise businesswoman would never hand over her entire projects to her sister specially when she is in learning phase. It's as dumb and unrealistic as Pari cracking the deal. It didn't show her complete trust. Plus, Ruhaan had already got character certificate from Radhika and Ansh. She herself knew she was the one who kissed him. She didn't possibly have any proof to question Pari's relation with him at that point.

Mishti took on the role of playing parent. Playing parent does not mean she does not trust or respect Pari. If she really was that untrusting, she'll constantly be questioning Pari about her decisions, both personal and professional. And we haven't seen Mishti doing that in the show.

Please, be completely honest, ever since Ruhaan came into the picture, have we seen her doing anything other than doubting her decisions??? It has basically revolved around MishVeer and MishAan. She didn't even consider how it would affect the others. So how on earth could she actually poke her nose in Pari's matter when lately she was handling everything???

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Posted: 6 years ago
#5

IF is not allowing me to quote so I'm reply para by para.

I brought depression to mention that you don't assurance alone to open up. There are other factors as well. And what have we seen after Pari's childhood after Kunal's death to conclude that Pari lacked in a sense of belonging? And what makes us think that Pari feels as though she doesn't belong to the house now? Just that her mother's photo is not hung up?

It was in the other post. The TM clearly said this "There is no real need of her anyway. No one really needs her. Mishaan hv each other, dadi will be a little sad then get over it and maybe Arnav will grieve for a day or two. She can join her parents up there finally. She isn't even allowed a portrait of her dead mother in her own home because it may hurt her sister's and dadi's feelings so it's better she reunites with her this way." You yourself have admitted that the sequence of events are contentious so how can Pari fans go around claiming that Dadi and Mishti didn't allow her to hang up her mother's photo? And no, Pari did not admit her parents were wrong. She thinks that both Mauli and Nandini were right in their places, which makes me wonder if she really understood what they told her. Right after the truth, she was caught up with the kidnapping and Kunal's accident and we don't know which events she remembers and has forgotten after the trauma.

And my main point is we have never seen any sequences where Mishti refused to acknowledge Nandini for Pari's sake, so why is it okay to assume what Mishti's response is and blame her and Dadi fully without knowing what happened?

As you said, Veer told her to and it was foolish, but if she had really no trust, she could have stopped him or secretly interfered to check if Pari is doing the job correctly if she truly lacked trust. Moreover, despite the character certificate, she still did not completely trust Ruhaan completely at that point. Or else she would not have burst out at him in the party. She trusted Pari's decision and her trust in and friendship with Ruhaan, not Ruhaan.

Yes she was doubting her decisions, but when did she not consider how her decisions would affect others? She has always talked about how she didn't want to hurt Veer and become another Kunal. If she didn't consider Veer's feelings, she wouldn't have tried to salvage the relationship and make him happy. She wanted to tell Veer everything first before telling others. Mishti's mistake was not opening up to Veer earlier, as did Veer close himself up during the fight with Mishti. And for 'poking her nose' into Pari's business, Mishti has clearly stated that Veer's chapter is over for her and her relationship with Ruhaan is sorted. So she has lots of time and attention if she actually wanted to poke her nose into Pari's business, which she has not done.

Edited by NK1865 - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: NK1865

IF is not allowing me to quote so I'm reply para by para.

I brought depression to mention that you don't assurance alone to open up. There are other factors as well. And what have we seen after Pari's childhood after Kunal's death to conclude that Pari lacked in a sense of belonging? And what makes us think that Pari feels as though she doesn't belong to the house now? Just that her mother's photo is not hung up?

Assurance is one of the pillars. Certainly different person opens up to different people for different reason. But when a kid is born, the primary concern always remains to make him/her feel safe, showing trust and giving assurance. At this point I am seriously finding trouble to understand why are you stuck on the word itself but overlooking the emphasize on family's role. And I have said it in my first reply itself that just as I can't give you assurance that Pari lacked in a sense of belonging, which proof do you have that she didn't have that. It was Ruhaan who showed complete trust on her and she began to thrive professionally. Doesn't it make someone a little confused that why does she needs an outsider's approval when she has an entire family? Different people can have huge affect on our life - I agree. But when one sibling wants to copy another one but an outsider has to put some sense into her, that raised my question whether she was ever truly appreciated by her family members or was it just Mishti. Mishti deserved every bit of praise for her maturity. But in real life also, some family takes so much pride in the eldest's achievement that the younger ones feel neglected. And I firmly believe that't a huge parenting error. I have said earlier also, I blame Radhika for failing to bring up the sisters because both had crooked sense of love and life.

It was in the other post. The TM clearly said this "There is no real need of her anyway. No one really needs her. Mishaan hv each other, dadi will be a little sad then get over it and maybe Arnav will grieve for a day or two. She can join her parents up there finally. She isn't even allowed a portrait of her dead mother in her own home because it may hurt her sister's and dadi's feelings so it's better she reunites with her this way." You yourself have admitted that the sequence of events are contentious so how can Pari fans go around claiming that Dadi and Mishti didn't allow her to hang up her mother's photo? And no, Pari did not admit her parents were wrong. She thinks that both Mauli and Nandini were right in their places, which makes me wonder if she really understood what they told her. Right after the truth, she was caught up with the kidnapping and Kunal's accident and we don't know which events she remembers and has forgotten after the trauma.

You do realize that it was a sarcastic post, right? Plus I have admitted that the topic will always be open for discussion until they show something. So how can you be so sure that it was the other way around? They haven't pointed out that too. Plus, in that post some fans have also commented that Mishti doesn't need to approve a woman's existence who destroyed her mother's world and snatched her dadi's son. Fair enough. Then to answer your question, if Pari is really trying not to hurt someone's feeling, which people are they exactly??? Ansh wouldn't give a damn because he is the ANSH of MauHaan and for him Kunal is not an important factor let alone Nandini. And about saying both being right, KuNan's union culminated into Pari's existence. As per your logic, just as Mishti doesn't have anything to do with Nandini or anything related to her, why should Pari be obliged to term her parents union a crime? She knows they were in love with each other. She knows she was loved by her parents. For her it was right of her mom to choose her happiness but that ruined her entire family. That's why she didn't want love if there was even a slim chance of her love coming between her and Mishti. What more do you ask her to do? Doing Nandini-Dahan every year to prove her loyalty???

And my main point is we have never seen any sequences where Mishti refused to acknowledge Nandini for Pari's sake, so why is it okay to assume what Mishti's response is and blame her and Dadi fully without knowing what happened?

As you said, Veer told her to and it was foolish, but if she had really no trust, she could have stopped him or secretly interfered to check if Pari is doing the job correctly if she truly lacked trust. Moreover, despite the character certificate, she still did not completely trust Ruhaan completely at that point. Or else she would not have burst out at him in the party. She trusted Pari's decision and her trust in and friendship with Ruhaan, not Ruhaan.

At that point she was fighting with her instinct and consciously tried to prove Ruhaan wrong so that she could return to her La La Land. At that moment she hadn't a reason. In the party, she got a valid reason to prove Ruhaan wrong. To secretly check or to interfere with someones life regardless of the RESPECT part, one first needs to be herself and have a sound mind. She was losing it that time due to her own confusion. Now please don't tell me, she wasn't confused regarding her feelings at that time.

Yes she was doubting her decisions, but when did she not consider how her decisions would affect others? She has always talked about how she didn't want to hurt Veer and become another Kunal. If she didn't consider Veer's feelings, she wouldn't have tried to salvage the relationship and make him happy. She wanted to tell Veer everything first before telling others. Mishti's mistake was not opening up to Veer earlier, as did Veer close himself up during the fight with Mishti. And for 'poking her nose' into Pari's business, Mishti has clearly stated that Veer's chapter is over for her and her relationship with Ruhaan is sorted. So she has lots of time and attention if she actually wanted to poke her nose into Pari's business, which she has not done.

She thought of Veer and did the right thing. And as you have said, I completely agree that both were wrong in some way or another. But did she think about Radhika or Veer's parents or their relatives? Her life is way more important than society's taunt and I stand by her decision. But if you have noticed, I made a separate post in the forum that it wasn't just a casual engagement and lots of people got involved. When Radhika made it clear, even then Pari took the initiative to convince her. Mishti was busy romancing with Ruhaan. Same goes for now, she is already occupied with Veer and Ruhaan and her new troubles. Where is the time to poke her nose?

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Posted: 6 years ago
#7

Honestly, you're making the claim that Pari didn't have a sense of belonging and assurance and when I ask for proof, you can't prove it. And I'm supposed to prove that Pari had a sense of assurance? And it is simplistic to claim one feels unconfident just because the family didn't assure her. We have seen nothing of the past to claim that Pari had not been given assurance by the family. Also, there are other factors as well like the person's emotional resilience level and friends. Some have a higher fortitude naturally, and some needs to be built up. It can be seen in kids as well- some can tolerate pain better, some can't. They don't get hurt everyday to have a stronger pain tolerance level. They just do. With a lower resilience level, any challenge thrown at you raises your insecurities.

I'm not the one going around claiming that Pari isn't been appreciated by the family. Instead if I'm not wrong, the family has been appreciating Pari's achievements. Didn't they just talk about her achievements during the last few episodes and feel proud of her? On the contrary, we have not seen any sequences when they compared her to someone else and put her down.

Pari grew up in unusual circumstances due to her parents' death but what is there to show that her family didn't support her? And how do you deem that it was the family that led to Pari's insecurities? How do we know it was not some other factor like friends ? And not lingering insecurities from her teenage years when hormonal changes play a big role? Why must it be the family members?

And by Ruhaan just reassuring, her doubts just suddenly disappeared and she became confident and she succeeded professionally? Family members scold and friends reassure. But their underlying care and concern gives you confidence. He was one of the factors, but not the sole one. A determination to prove oneself, one's career goals gives them a drive to succeed.

Pari wants to emulate Mishti. But why does it have to be that she's doing it for acknowledgement? Mishti might have adviced her on the client matter on the mistakes she made, but she celebrated Pari's victory with her, overall supporting her approach. Looking at Pari's high opinion of Mishti, she emulates her cos she's her role model. Aren't our siblings role models for us? Moreover, some of us have famous people we look up to and we try to copy their habits. Do we do it solely cos we want their acknowledgement? We do it cos we like it and think it would lead to success and happiness. So how is copying Mishti a sign of lack of assurance? Pari's mistake was attempting to copy Mishti 100% and losing her individuality. It is easier for an outsider to spot this cos most of us don't know how we look like to others. It is easier for Ruhaan to spot that Pari is attempting to be a replica of Mishti.

Well, go check the post again. The TM meant it and clearly blamed Dadi and Mishti? Why like it it you believe that it's meant to be open for discussion and not what the TM claims. Let's not forget that people mentioned as they felt it was Kunal's responsibility to hang up the picture and he didn't do it when he went to the Malhotra household.

And when did I say that Mishti had nothing to do with Nandini? And when did I ask Pari to 'term her parents union a crime'? I never implied that Pari should demonise her mother either. You're making your own assumptions. All Pari had to do if she truly understood the situation was to just admit her parents' approach was wrong, not their feelings. To outrightly claim that Nandini was right in her own way as was Mauli was a diplomatic way of avoiding Nandini's fault. And even sounded like she was justifying it. There is nothing wrong with admitting that and it would have shown that she understood the true gravity of it. And moreover, Pari didn't want to love cos her didn't want her love to come between Mishti and her? When was this shown? And if this really was true, when Pari fell in love with Ruhaan, why didn't she worry about how her love would affect her relationship with Mishti? Not even 1 sequence of that. Pari rejected love due to some reasons, which have not been explored in the show. Till now, we have seen no explanation for why she's commitment phobic.

And was it just instinct to send Ruhaan away? Really? Mishti was the one who never fully trusted Ruhaan from the start, and with 1 character certificate, all her doubts just suddenly vanished? Mishti isn't a baby to blindly believe her Dadi. If she did, she would have never protested against taking Ruhaan as a house guest. And I don't get it. Just because she was confused, she wasn't of sound mind? Wow, such a arguement will never be accepted by the court for any crime. She chose not to do it, because she trusted Pari. At no point of the serial, has she been shown checking on Pari, even before her confused state of mind.

Honestly, in relationship issues, only you and your partner's feelings matter most. And after that family members. Not society. Yes, Radhika deserved to know. But before that Mishti needed to sort it out with Veer and gain some clarity, but didn't have an opportunity to as he was angry and went away. And she wasn't able to sort it out with Veer as he was angry. How was she supposed to go, sort it out with his parents and explore their feelings? Pari tried to convince Radhika cos she was angry with Mishti and wasn't on talking terms with her. Once Radhika cooled down more, Mishti talked to her. There have been quite a few sequences after that where Mishti explained reasons behind her decision to Radhika.

And for the past few episodes, Mishti isn't occupied with Veer as she clearly told him that his chapter was over. Neither has she been shown reminscing about him. Her relationship is on good terms with Ruhaan, so it isn't as though her mind and time is solely occupied by Ruhaan. She had the time to do it, but didn't do it purposely.

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Posted: 6 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: NK1865

Honestly, you're making the claim that Pari didn't have a sense of belonging and assurance and when I ask for proof, you can't prove it. And I'm supposed to prove that Pari had a sense of assurance? And it is simplistic to claim one feels unconfident just because the family didn't assure her. We have seen nothing of the past to claim that Pari had not been given assurance by the family. Also, there are other factors as well like the person's emotional resilience level and friends. Some have a higher fortitude naturally, and some needs to be built up. It can be seen in kids as well- some can tolerate pain better, some can't. They don't get hurt everyday to have a stronger pain tolerance level. They just do. With a lower resilience level, any challenge thrown at you raises your insecurities.

I'm not the one going around claiming that Pari isn't been appreciated by the family. Instead if I'm not wrong, the family has been appreciating Pari's achievements. Didn't they just talk about her achievements during the last few episodes and feel proud of her? On the contrary, we have not seen any sequences when they compared her to someone else and put her down.

Pari grew up in unusual circumstances due to her parents' death but what is there to show that her family didn't support her? And how do you deem that it was the family that led to Pari's insecurities? How do we know it was not some other factor like friends ? And not lingering insecurities from her teenage years when hormonal changes play a big role? Why must it be the family members?

And by Ruhaan just reassuring, her doubts just suddenly disappeared and she became confident and she succeeded professionally? Family members scold and friends reassure. But their underlying care and concern gives you confidence. He was one of the factors, but not the sole one. A determination to prove oneself, one's career goals gives them a drive to succeed.

Pari wants to emulate Mishti. But why does it have to be that she's doing it for acknowledgement? Mishti might have adviced her on the client matter on the mistakes she made, but she celebrated Pari's victory with her, overall supporting her approach. Looking at Pari's high opinion of Mishti, she emulates her cos she's her role model. Aren't our siblings role models for us? Moreover, some of us have famous people we look up to and we try to copy their habits. Do we do it solely cos we want their acknowledgement? We do it cos we like it and think it would lead to success and happiness. So how is copying Mishti a sign of lack of assurance? Pari's mistake was attempting to copy Mishti 100% and losing her individuality. It is easier for an outsider to spot this cos most of us don't know how we look like to others. It is easier for Ruhaan to spot that Pari is attempting to be a replica of Mishti.

Well, go check the post again. The TM meant it and clearly blamed Dadi and Mishti? Why like it it you believe that it's meant to be open for discussion and not what the TM claims. Let's not forget that people mentioned as they felt it was Kunal's responsibility to hang up the picture and he didn't do it when he went to the Malhotra household.

And when did I say that Mishti had nothing to do with Nandini? And when did I ask Pari to 'term her parents union a crime'? I never implied that Pari should demonise her mother either. You're making your own assumptions. All Pari had to do if she truly understood the situation was to just admit her parents' approach was wrong, not their feelings. To outrightly claim that Nandini was right in her own way as was Mauli was a diplomatic way of avoiding Nandini's fault. And even sounded like she was justifying it. There is nothing wrong with admitting that and it would have shown that she understood the true gravity of it. And moreover, Pari didn't want to love cos her didn't want her love to come between Mishti and her? When was this shown? And if this really was true, when Pari fell in love with Ruhaan, why didn't she worry about how her love would affect her relationship with Mishti? Not even 1 sequence of that. Pari rejected love due to some reasons, which have not been explored in the show. Till now, we have seen no explanation for why she's commitment phobic.

And was it just instinct to send Ruhaan away? Really? Mishti was the one who never fully trusted Ruhaan from the start, and with 1 character certificate, all her doubts just suddenly vanished? Mishti isn't a baby to blindly believe her Dadi. If she did, she would have never protested against taking Ruhaan as a house guest. And I don't get it. Just because she was confused, she wasn't of sound mind? Wow, such a arguement will never be accepted by the court for any crime. She chose not to do it, because she trusted Pari. At no point of the serial, has she been shown checking on Pari, even before her confused state of mind.

Honestly, in relationship issues, only you and your partner's feelings matter most. And after that family members. Not society. Yes, Radhika deserved to know. But before that Mishti needed to sort it out with Veer and gain some clarity, but didn't have an opportunity to as he was angry and went away. And she wasn't able to sort it out with Veer as he was angry. How was she supposed to go, sort it out with his parents and explore their feelings? Pari tried to convince Radhika cos she was angry with Mishti and wasn't on talking terms with her. Once Radhika cooled down more, Mishti talked to her. There have been quite a few sequences after that where Mishti explained reasons behind her decision to Radhika.

And for the past few episodes, Mishti isn't occupied with Veer as she clearly told him that his chapter was over. Neither has she been shown reminscing about him. Her relationship is on good terms with Ruhaan, so it isn't as though her mind and time is solely occupied by Ruhaan. She had the time to do it, but didn't do it purposely.

I would request you to take some time out and read your own post first rather than finding posts which I have liked and what I have liked.

You pointed out the possibility of family being responsible for Pari's flawed personity and wanted to discuss. When I put my points suddenly you need proofs!

There is a thing called assumption and not every single detail gets resolved by the writers. Audience's assume a lot of things. Till this day we don't know if Mishti had ever seen Mauli in pain because Ishaan was there. A lot of people ASSUME that she must have seen her crying sometime.

Do you go around asking for proof?

I have said that I am the youngest one in my family and have a strict brother. I have grown up looking up to him. Yet I find Pari's behavior disturbing because in my perception it's more than just idolizing and that made me think why does she need to be like her?

And just for reference, I have seen people with zero family support and low confidence to thrive after an outsiders action. There the secondary factor played more substantial role than the primary factor.

You put so much emphasize on these OTHER FACTORS but when the family itself is concerned, you run to another direction focussing on children's own strength.

Now I might sound contradictory but my point remains the same. Family should and in most cases builds up the kids emotionally. With time the kids interact with others and these factors also help making them strong. But a kid relying too much on outsiders approval can either stem from family's negligence so he or she is trying to get accepted or they have been raised in an environment where they are taught to be people pleaser.

Anyway, I haven't asked you to give any proof but you keep saying I have asked one. I have said multiple times that unless something is shown in will be open for debate/discussion forever.

Now coming to Pari loving Ruhaan, I have said multiple times that both the sisters have crooked sense of love and life. Mishti's misconception almost led to her marry someone she didn't love. But with time she came out of it and chose Ruhaan. So if Pari also realizes her concept was flawed and start to love someone, how is that wrong? It's not that she knows about MishVeer and still drooling over it.

As for liking other posts, I found their logic acceptable, I liked it. If you have a problem, ask them which PROOF did they have to post it, why ask me? I also like Mishti fans post when they seem acceptable. But you aren't talking about it.

So from this point on, I am not going to reply in this thread.

Edited by nushy1995 - 6 years ago

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