Posted:
Just watched today's episode and yes, Guddan does confirm what I was saying earlier: alongside proving AJ's innocence, she wants to prove that her sister was actually kidnapped in order to force her to marry AJ.
The dil vs. demaag challenge has always been the case but it looks like AJ is actually trying to convince himself rather than Guddan that he relies on his mind more than on his heart. This is because it gives him an excuse to move his attention away from caring for her or being overly affected by her goodness so that he can focus on being his miserable self, mourning his first wife.
It also ties back to what he was telling Antra's photo about not finding a reason to accept her as his wife/live with her because they are so different. Those questions were also more to himself than to Antra's photo: what is it about Guddan that makes him care so much, defying all logic? What is it that has been gradually increasing the understanding between them despite the obvious reasons for their supposed incompatibility?
As is often the case with widowers who are loyal and committed forever to their late wives, he is starting to battle with his guilt on some level at caring for Guddan despite not officially or emotionally considering her his wife. There is a deep-seated fear that this "excessive attention" towards Guddan is going to increasingly distract him from his devotion to Antra and that he might "forget" what his first wife meant to him, or even that he might not be doing justice to her memory and to his personal oath of being only hers forever.
When Antra passed away, he put up walls around himself, and stripped his own life of positivity and colors. If it weren't for his devotion to his mother and his sense of responsibility to his family and the restaurant (largely due to Antra's memory), he would have been a mess and possibly a full-time Devdas. Guddan's troublemaking not only keeps him occupied but forces him to wake up and acknowledge that someone needs his support, and he can't help but give it every time, of his own volition.
No matter how hard AJ tries to maintain his distance from Guddan, he inadvertently gets drawn into her misadventures and has to keep bailing her out. The more time he spends with her, the more he understands her, and the more it touches the innocent child in him. Also, as is often the case when older men marry much younger women, he has a natural protectiveness towards her. This forces him to come out of his shell without realizing he is doing so. The moment he becomes aware of it, such as when he sees Guddan leaving the house without saying goodbye or acknowledging him, he puts up his walls again and tries to take a step back. Of course, he mostly fails because Guddan takes up all his time and attention.
AJ's mind wants to find fault with Guddan to ease his discomfort at being drawn to her but at the same time his heart knows deep down that she is innocent. No point though, because his heart is a much stronger influence on his actions than his mind will ever be, both in the case of Antra and Guddan. The tear drop scene was a perfect illustration of this.
He can't knowingly accept being the reason for her sadness or pain, no matter what the circumstance is. Each drop of her tears washes away his anger and frustration, every single time. The background song (which I absolutely adore, by the way) was used perfectly here:
Ek boondh mein dard hain laakhon, kehta hai aankh ka paani ...
When AJ was telling her off for trying to "prove his innocence" and saying he did not care what she thought of him, his eyes were saying otherwise. He had realized earlier that she had previously genuinely believed him to be the kidnapper and his pride was severely wounded by the mere thought that he would be accused of such a horrible deed just to marry her of all people. Especially, since he agreed to remarry only to fulfill Antra's last wish.
After Guddan left the house, the brief period of time when he'd been thinking of her and feeling bereft got to him in a way he had never expected. He is concerned that Antra's last wish might one day become a wish he has for himself, but neither his mind nor his heart has processed this fact yet.
We all remember when he lost it after the restaurant was publicly named and shamed by the media, because it was all he had to hold on to after Antra left him forever. There was a very subtle but beautiful statement during the laptop scene today about his changing priorities as he put Guddan's wishes and needs over his own important presentation and business meeting regarding the restaurant business that was a living ode to his dead wife.
I am really glad that Guddan reminded him that she was doing this for her sister and that she too was stuck in this relationship because of the kidnapper. It's quite likely that she will be unable to find any evidence in these 3 days and will leave the house empty-handed but by then AJ will go with what his heart says and ignore the warnings of his brain. Whether he admits to it or not is a different matter altogether, of course. 😉
Nishant is doing a great job of portraying all these emotions through his eyes.
Udne Ki Aasha
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