Truth is rarely pure and never simple
~ Oscar Wilde
We all love finding peace in old, familiar adages.
Although sayings like 'the early bird catches the worm', 'two wrongs don't make a right', and 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' might sound too cliche for comfort, they calm us down during those moments in which we might feel confused about something in our lives.
They reassure us that someone else out there has already figured out the right thing to do. And, most importantly, they've already created a convenient saying for it, so we should just listen. Regardless of how right or wrong the adages are, we repeat them to ourselves over and over again, as if repetition will somehow confirm their truth.
But what happens when two common adages completely contradict each other?
What happens when you can't respond to one of the most confusing moments of your entire life with one adage all neatly tied up in a bow, but with two?
Which one, then, is the truth in my case ?
Will absence make the heart grow fonder or does out of sight really mean out of mind ? I am betting that the old crazy man who coined the first one is correct. Wish me luck !
It's been two weeks. Two excruciating Zoya free weeks. And I mean physically - I haven't seen her after our lovely conversation in the office. But, the witch never left my mind. Not for a second. Maybe I should consider exorcism, seems like a completely practical solution for me at this time. You think I am being dramatic ? Okay, tell me this - which man thinks about a girl - wife, girlfriend or one night stand - in the middle of a fight. In an exclusive fighting club in Mumbai. Like I was.
I looked around the room. Every apparatus of fighting existed : a Mixed Martial Arts cage, a boxing ring, a Muay Thai ring, mats for closed combat, and barefoot for other barbaric blood sports. The space was filled with men either bloodied from a fight or bouncing on their feet ready to meet a new opponent. It was a display of masculinity - raw and unbridled.
Everywhere I looked audience members grinned and encouraged, and people throbbed with vitality. My body sucked up every ounce of liveliness, storing it. We may be refined and socially acceptable on the outside, but at the heart we were still animals. Just a friendly tip for all guys out there - If your girlfriend claims that chiselled abs, biceps and male rawness are not what she is seeking in a man, she is probably just being kind.
As unsettling and disturbing it maybe but there is an undeniable link between masculinity and aggression. I am not a particular fan of bloodshed but there is an undisputable allure. I have no freaking clue whether it is the pulsing testosterone or societal expectations but we - men - draw energy from violence. Infact ninety percent of homicides are perpetrated by male gender. You need to up your game ladies, commit more murders and then we can call it even. Just kidding, don't go on a killing spree. Yet.
"Yes, kill him Luther, killl him" the man sitting on my right shouts. His excitement bordering on mad frenzy. Made sense though, he must have placed heavy bets on the 'Luther' guy.
The guy on my left side was calm as the deep end of Atlantic - Pramod Mehta. He is as ironic as an attorney can be. Let me explain you this way - spoken words form the foundation of legal expertise. To put things into perspective, an average woman speaks 60,000 words in a day, whereas an average man clocks around 40,000. But, an attorney averages at 80,000 words in twenty-four hours - with none holding any serious weight.
I could bet all of my Meridian Corp shares that Pramod Mehta, Senior Partner at Singhania & Dawson, didn't go past the mark of 20,000 a day. The difference - he meant each and every one of them.
Don't let his mid-sixties lean frame fool you into complacency, he can knock you out into the next week with his mean Krav Maga skills. If not for being an amazing lawyer at one of the biggest Law Firm in Mumbai, he would have been a street fighter. His polite sophistication is a camouflage for one mean son of a bitch. He is a master at ferreting out information. Most people only see the surface, Pramod sees multiple layers and intuitively knows how to manipulate those layers so people react the way he wants, causing certain events to unfold. The domino effect.
And, that's why I was here - tolerating fight clubs catering to high society. Because only Pramod Mehta could dig deep enough to uncover Zoya's truth.
"You are clearly not paying your investigator enough. Seeing the piss poor job they are doing"
You see Zoya was right on one account - the private investigator's report was incomplete. Money was not an issue but resourcefulness was. There were blanks in the report, missing years to be precise. After writing the beautiful breakup note, my dear Sunshine dropped from the face of earth. Disappeared. Whoosh. Gone. The investigator found no public record against Zoya Qureshi or Zoya Siddiqui's name for four years after our breakup. No parking ticket, no bank account activity, no house rent agreement, no pay stubs. Nothing to indicate that she was alive. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
"If you want me in your life, put me there. I won't fight for the spot"
I bet you thought that I would be a gentleman and back off. It's a fair assumption because you have no freaking idea about how I function. Let me enlighten you.
One of the hardest things about improving your life is remembering to practice what you've learned in a moment of temptation, frustration, or hardship. Anyone can follow a psychological strategy when they read about it, but remembering to stick with it in real situations is tough. And, my recent dealing with Zoya was a textbook case of having PERFECT understanding of female psychology.
You see women this strange concept of space - men don't. When a guy is really into a woman, he feels the same way about her as he does about cricket matches - the more the better. By pretending to back off I was just letting her feel comfortable. Secure. Not for a second did I actually consider letting her off the hook. And no, I am not psychotic, just persistent. Our love is messy and it's okay. Love doesn't have to be perfect. Just worth it.
"I asked you to trust me and you gifted me with a pathetic breakup. You are a f**king coward, sunshine.Didn't even have the courage to say it to my face."
Did she hurt me ? Absolutely.
Was I going to make her pay ? If I was the better person, I would have said no but since I am not. So, she sure as hell deserves to suffer a little.
But, was she going anywhere without my consent ? Oh, hell no. Over my rotting dead corpse.
We watched the next three matches in complete silence. I have no freaking clue how much he won or lost. The man had a perfect poker face. If he had a tell, I didn't know about it. Remind me never to play BlackJack against him.
After the matches are over, we walk in stoic silence to the VIP section of the club and take our seats in a cube-like seating area. Pramod Mehta laces his fingers and regards me with deep contemplation. Whiskey neat is ordered when a voluptuous waitress comes to take our orders.
"Why this girl ?" he asks. I see, why he is asking me this question. Meridian Corp regularly outsourced its excess legal work to Singhania & Dawson but this was different. I had called in a personal favour and a discreet one at that. I wanted Zoya's full personal history without any information leaks to Harshvardhan Hooda. His question might be relevant but that didn't mean that I would answer it.
"Does it matter ?"
He takes a sip of his whiskey neat "No, it doesn't"
And, then Pramod Mehta uttered the golden awful words "It was a witness protection case"
Golden because I had craved for them. Searched for them. Thirsted for them.
Awful because they just changed my world. Love can be lost. I know because I have lost it. But, can you find the lost love ? Is it possible to fall in love with someone all over again ?
Yes, because I just did.
Chapter 17: Try to reason about love and you will lose your reason
Edited by harsha.. - 6 years ago
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
