Posted:
while watching yesterday's episode, was thinking of how this word qabool. the qazi asks arshad and zoya 3 times. not once, not twice but three times. why three? to ensure that it is a firm choice.
lesson # 1 -- no one can say qabool for you. ultimately, you have to make a decision for yourself because the choices you make are your responsibility. so we have to say qabool from the heart. we can't blame circumstances, our family. even if waseem was pushing zoya to say qabool, he can't say qabool for her. it is not accepted if he says it. only her. so don't impulsively say yes to please your parents or out of family pressure. finally saying qabool is not only our choice but also our responsibility.
lesson # 2 -- silence and fear gets you nowhere. zoya was afraid to face the truth because she was afraid of hurting waseem and so she didn't have a heart-to-heart conversation with waseem. she didn't try to convince him that she needs more time. while many may dislike waseem, in a small way, felt sorry for him because he was in the dark. he truly believed that she has no interest in aditya as he took her at her word. so it was quite a shocker to him. so it is important to talk with your family about your fears and hesitations -- no one is a mind reader not even your parents. she didn't want to hurt waseem but ultimately her fears and silence ends up hurting waseem as well as arshad and his family
lesson #3 -- how to take rejection as a gentleman. arshad was so fantastic and shows viewers how to handle rejection.
#3A -- rejection is not a reflection of you as a person. sometimes it is just they love someone else and has absolutely nothing to do with who you are -- note how arshad never went into dialogues on how zoya could choose aditya when he is a better man. neither does he put aditya down as a man. arshad is fantastically secure as a person and who he is.
#3B -- reflect on the relationship and recognize the flaws -- rather than have a meltdown of how zoya took them for a ride, he calms everyone down at the marriage party and gently points out that they all misunderstood zoya and refused to see what was going on. there are no accusations or anger but a gentleness and calm. how many of us would be able to recognize the flaws like that?
#3C -- only take away good -- he doesn't go into a tirade of how zoya cheated him. instead he acknowledges how zoya changed his life for the better and made him feel life is more than just pain and suffering and can be beautiful. he wishes her well.
so a big clap to arshad 👏 -- he walks away with dignity and as viewers, we know that he will find another woman who makes him happy and he will make her happy.
Anupamaa
