Samaina_1990 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
#1
Hi all,
I'm posting the OS I submitted for the competition on the forum here, for those of you who missed it and would like to read it.
Please note that this story is open to a multitude of interpretations depending on the reader's preference! That's how it was meant to be! 😊

~ OS: Pink~

"Oh bhai dekh...Kamya kya item lag rahi hai pink mein...birthday hai aaj iska! Pandit's voice boomed from behind. Sameer's eyes dashed to the stands nearby.

"Pink ladkiyon pe hamesha acha lagta hai! He proclaimed as he thrust up the collar of his white T-shirt and drew up the sleeves slightly, unknowingly revealing more of his carved biceps. Precisely at that moment, a rustle of cloth in that summer breeze, and footsteps on the dried grass, attracted their attention. Sameer and his gang saw the teacher's pet strolling past them, her gaze drifted to Kamya and then lowered, while her hands fidgeted nervously around a stainless steel lunchbox. She was dressed in her prim school uniform, her hair dunked in oil as usual and tied into tight ponytails that swayed about as she walked.

Sameer's eyes followed her, and then she flicked her eyes to meet his for an instant, before lowering them again and going to stand in a corner near a tree, careful enough to avoid the sight of her father roaring crossly at her brother on the cricket field.

"Lagta hai maniben kal se pink pehen ke aane ke mood mein hai...dekh tujhe kaise kankhiyon se ghoor rahi hai! Munna's snigger broke Sameer's reverie.

"Oh please! he remarked as his fingers casually stroked his silky hair to the back of his head, "maine ladkiyon ki baat ki hai...behenji ki nahi! A roar of laughter erupted at his words, which took Naina by surprise. She lifted her gaze towards the trio and found Sameer snickering with his pals and a smile formed on her lips, as she wafted into dreams of Sameer been taken in by her, when she came to him wearing pink. She immediately shook the images away. "Concentrate Naina! she reprimanded herself. Well, it was a relief to see him smile, after the days he'd spent being all grouchy and insolent. She knew he was still angry with her, for before he lifted his bat and made his way to the field to practice, he turned around to look at her again. She couldn't figure out if he was livid or disappointed or both, at her.

"Arjun! Game pe dhyaan de! Aaj tujhe har haal mein jeetna hai! Rakesh's coercing demands set Naina thinking on how to attract Sameer's attention and apologize to him for her actions. God must've been listening, for right then, a ball landed just in front of Naina's feet. Her eyes darted towards the source and to her glee, she found the ball was Sameer's.

Sameer dashed to the end of the ground to pick up the ball and in doing so, came face to face with her. She seemed to be anxious now, for her fumbling with the tiffin had increased. His face grew sullen as he stooped to lift the ball near her feet. But to his surprise, she kicked the ball softly away from him. Sameer's eyes raised to hers in confusion, as he got up to follow the ball and Naina, who was kicking it away towards the other end of the field, where her father could not notice her conversing with him.

"Kya hai yeh sab! he snapped and lifted the ball. "Sameer! I'm really sorry us din ke liye! Naina replied earnestly, but Sameer continued to glare at her. Such a spineless creature!

His fingers caressed his hair again as he began to leave when she stopped him, "Sameer suno toh! Aaj tumhara match hai na...all the best...main tumhare liye dahi shakkar laayi hun!

"Dahi shakkar? The sarcasm in his voice was unmistakeable. "Ye tum apne bhai ko khilaogi to behtar hoga...iski zarurat mujhe nahi...use hai...aaj ka match to main hi jeetunga! he remarked placidly, before darting towards his teammates.

The referee's whistle sounded and the match began. Sameer won the toss and as he looked about the stands, he realized his mother hadn't come in as yet. She'd told him she wanted to see his winning six. He turned to the sports teacher, "I'll field first!

The match between the two most popular guys in school fell nothing short of expectations. While Arjun had missed being clean bowled on Sameer's first ball, Munna had given away three wides under pressure. Vijay from Arjun's team had been sent back to the pavilion on Pandit's yorker. Forty five minutes later, Sameer lunged out in the air to catch what Arjun had meant to be a sixer. All waited with bated breaths, if Arjun would get out or would Sameer miss the catch. Naina especially couldn't decide whether to be happy that Sameer caught the ball just as his foot rolled over the boundary cord or to feel frightened at the way Sameer's foot twisted when he fell with the ball in his hand.

Nearly the entire school rushed over to the ground and Naina followed the swathes like a helpless puppy. Arjun tried to look for signs of injury on Sameer's ankle, when Sameer pushed his hand away roughly, trying to help himself up. What he didn't notice, was Naina flinch, each time he bit his lip in pain or each time he huddled back to the ground.

The match stood adjourned for half an hour as the medical team arrived to assess if Sameer would be fit to play in a while.

"Dahi shakkhar nahi khaya na! Itna ziddi hai...sunta hi nahi hai kisi ki! Naina murmured to herself in consternation, smacking herself mentally for not forcing him to have the totem of good luck. But Sameer's eyes were scanning the crowd helplessly to see if his mother had come to the grounds and would rush to tend to him. But apart from his school teachers and students, he saw no one else, well, except the teacher's pet, who was staring in horror and dismay at his swollen ankle.

"Natak dekho iske...jaise ise meri taqleef se dukh ho raha hai...iske bhai ki to chandi! he thought angrily as he allowed himself to be whisked away to the medical room with the help of his friends.

Naina had been pacing around the medical room, chanting all hymns she knew, all shlokas, all chalisas and mantras, praying to God to heal Sameer soon, so that he could have a fair chance at winning the game.

"Tu yahan khadi khadi kya kar rahi hai Naina! Us ameerzade se hamdardi ho rahi hai tujhe? Rakesh's voice bellowed out at her. In her anxiety, Naina hadn't paid heed to the footsteps of her father approaching the medical room, who in turn had been hopeful of the news that Sameer couldn't play anymore and his son would be declared the winner of the match.

"P...Papa...aaap! Naina stammered, as she forgot to blink.

"Yahan kyun khadi hai...bol na! Rakesh seemed like a volcano ready to burst the moment if Naina told him she was worried about Sameer. In a fraction of a second, Naina composed herself, "wooo...papa main to ye dekhne aayi thi ki wo Sameer ka pair theek hua ke nahi...!

"Kya! Rakesh cut-her off as his eyes widened in rage. Before he could start bashing her, she quickly added, "...taaki pata chal jaye ki Arjun bhaiya match jeete ke nahi na! The words had an immediate calming effect on her father. "Hmmm! he muttered, his hands crossed behind his back. "Nahi theek hoga dekh lena...is jaise bigdail ka saath bhagwan bhi nahi dete dekha...aur tu ise padha rahi thi! he mouthed crassly as he went in to check for himself.

A sudden unknown anger splurged inside Naina. "How had Sameer wronged her father just by being born rich? She remembered their study sessions. He seemed a very considerate and fun-loving guy at that time. He respected her boundaries, and was thankful to her for sparing time for him, well, till the day her father caught them both and reprimanded him for manipulating Naina into teaching him. And he had all the right to be angry with her. He was just a normal, sweet, not to mention an excessively handsome 18 year old, that could be.

"Bhagwanji...aap to jaante hain na Sameer ke liye ye headboy competition kitna zaruri hai! Aapko to pata hoga na uske man mein kya hai? Please bhagwan ji...uski ye iccha puri kar do...badle mein na main kuch bhi karungi! Naina prayed fervently, honestly, when she heard footsteps back onto the stairs.

Her father was standing in a mood far worse than his usual, if that was even possible. "Theek to hai ameerzada...sirf natak kar raha tha...lagta hai khelega...aur sardard! he gritted his teeth, not even sparing a glance at his daughter standing near the steps. Naina breathed a sigh of relief as she heard the news and a moment later, Munna and Pandit hurried down the steps to check if Vishakha aunty had arrived as yet. Sameer had been extremely expectant.

"Munna! Pandit! S..Sameer kaisa hai...wo khelega na ab! Naina asked earnestly. The duo's eyes fell upon her as Munna snapped, "bhagwan ki daya se acha hai...varna tumhare khandan walon ne to theka le rakha hai hamare bhai ko har pal badnam karne ka aur chot pahunchane ka! Without another word, they ran towards the stands to look for Sameer's mother.

When they enquired with principal sir, he told them, "haan unka phone aaya ki wo ghar se nikli hi thi ki unhe khabar mili ki Sameer ke bhai ka accident ho gaya...isliye unhe turant Dilli jana pada! Hiding their disappointment at Sameer's misfortune today, Munna and Pandit ambled back towards the medical room, thinking how to break the news to him, without hurting him. They were surprised to see that Naina was still standing there. "Ab kya kar rahi hai yahan...yahi chahti hai na ki Sameer na theek ho paaye aur tera bhai jeet jaaye! Lekin aisa nahi hoga...Sameer khelega aur Arjun ko harayega bhi! snapped Pandit.

"Nahi...wo to main...main...! she stammered, unsure of what to reveal to his friends. "Kya bakri ki tarah main main kar rahi hai...ek to uski mummy bhi nahi aayin...! Pandit clapped a hand to his forehead in frustration. "Din hi kharab hai lagta hai aaj ka...bad luck! Munna added.

"Luck to theek kar sakte hain! Naina replied, as the two boys looked at her as if she was insane. She hurriedly unclamped the tiffin box, and showed them the mixture of curd and sugar. "Ye kya hai? Munna asked. "Dahi shakkar...wo Arjun bhaiya ke liye laayi thi..., she added as she saw Munna's eyebrows raised at her. "Sameer ko bhi de dena please! she pleaded.

"Tu Sameer ko dahi shakkar kyun khila rahi hai? asked Pandit suspiciously. "Ponga check kar le...kahin jeher to na de rai hamare bhai ko...inke khandan ka bharosa nahi hai mujhe! Munna thrust the tiffin in Pandit's hands.

"Tu kha pehle! Pandit ordered Naina, realizing Munna had a point. Naina cocked her brows at them and then took a spoonful of the mix into her mouth. "Dekha zinda hoon! she snapped at them.

Somewhat convinced, Munna and Pandit rushed over to Sameer's side, as he tried to see if he could manage to walk swiftly, if not run. "Aayi mummy? he asked eagerly, his eyes brushing past their forehead at the door, anticipating his mother to come fussing around him and tending to his injury.

"Wo yaar Sameer...aunty aayi to thi...but usi time unhe pata chala ki tere bhai ka accident hua hai aur Uncle khinch ke unko Dilli le gaye! Tujhse milna bhi na diya! Pandit spoke hesitantly. As Munna saw Sameer's face contort in a mixture of dejection and fury, he chipped in, "par jaate jaate mausi dahi-shakkar de gayi tere good luck ke liye!

"Mujhe nahi chahiye koi dahi shakkar! he snapped at them. "Subah se har koi dahi-shakkar ke piche hi pada hai! he muttered under his breath.

"Sameer bhai! Aisa nai bolte...mausi kitna ro rahi thi pata hai? Kha le bhai...isme unka pyaar hai...maa ke pyaar ko bhi naa karega? Munna cajoled and finally Sameer gave in. Munna scooped a copious amount of the curd-sugar mixture and thrust the spoon into Sameer's mouth- the same spoon that had been inside Naina's mouth a few minutes back. As Sameer smacked his lips, he felt energized to take on the challenge again.

Naina heard Sameer's voice as he descended the stairs and hid herself out of sight. Munna looked around for her and when Sameer was already on the way to the field, returned her the tiffin with a grateful smile, "kha liya Sameer ne! Khelega! Naina felt elated as if she herself had won the cup and crept back to the stands quietly to watch her hero back in action.

Minutes later after the match ended and Sameer had been able to free himself from the cheering voices and hugs from his best friends, he made way into the school to change his clothes. As he passed his classroom, his eyes darted over to a girl sitting at one of the benches. He peered closely through the windows, and somehow a smile crept onto his lips. The girl was dressed in a frilly baby-pink frock, her hair had been blowing in the breeze from the windows, clamped in place with a pink hairband.

This was the second time he was seeing her in open hair, and he couldn't help but recall how he'd lost himself in her the first time he'd seen her like that- during his birthday party. The girl was smiling at him, her cherubic face resting on her palm, her hand propped on the bench, and he couldn't help grinning back for he felt he'd been entranced again.

As his feet dragged him inside the class towards Naina, he saw that she stood up from her place slowly and was...was she blushing? Something inside him swelled up as he realized she was indeed flustered as she saw him approaching her. Somehow his eyes refused to leave those brownish, almond eyes that were boring him with an innocence he found hard to ignore.

"Aaj ye dress? he found himself muttering. "Aaj mera birthday hai na! she replied softly. "Ohhh! I'm sorry...mujhe pata nahi tha...Happy Birthday Naina! he smiled good-naturedly. "Ye kya kar raha hai tu Sameer...is behenji ke saath itna kyun muskura raha hai? he found himself thinking.

At that moment, the bell sounded and the students started filing in the class, and Sameer and Naina abruptly moved apart. Munna and Pandit jumped to their feet happily as they saw their hero already in the class. "Abey tu to change karne gaya tha na...abhi tak change nahi kiye kapde? Munna asked. Sameer was saved the need to come up with an excuse as Shanti teacher chose that moment to enter the class.

As the students settled down, Shanti teacher exclaimed, "Naina! Happy Birthday! Sameer saw his gaze wander over to Naina in pink, as if he hadn't been able to take in enough of her. "Thank you ma'am! her soft voice sounded. Then she sat back down and Shanti teacher started explaining trigonometry to them.

Sameer had never been interested in studies. Mathematics was his least favourite subject. It wasn't new for him to not pay attention in what was being taught in class. But the new thing was the way he was paying attention to Naina on the adjacent bench. He'd thought he wasn't interested in her too. But was he now?

"Sameer Maheshwari! Dhyaan kahan hai tumhara? A piece of chalk hit his sleeve. "Match khatam ho gaya hai...sapnon ki duniya se bahar aayie...chaliye ye sawaal hal kijiye board pe! Shanti teacher commanded.

Sameer stood up reluctantly and moved to the board. He had no idea what sum he had to solve and how was it to be done. As he balked around the board with the chalk in his hand, Shanti teacher drew an exasperated breath and summoned Naina to come over and help Sameer. He tried his best to hide his glee as Naina approached him. And then he felt the world go out of focus. Shanti teacher vanished. So did the other students in class. It was only him and Naina that remained.

"Ye bahot easy hai! Jaisa main kar rahi hun vaisa karo! she exclaimed. She smiled as she held a piece of chalk. Sameer found himself mirroring her actions as she drew something on the blackboard. As he chalked a similar curve, he found Naina's fingers close to his and looked at her to see her blushing. His eyes then darted to the board and he realized that together they had drawn a heart.

Naina had lowered her eyes by now and was biting her lower lip in anticipation. He looked at her smugly and turned to the board and wrote in capital letters, her name, "NAINA. Naina looked up, unable to hide her delight at her name inside the heart. "Tumhari baari hai Naina! he found himself saying.

"Likho us insaan ka naam jo tumhe sabse zyada pasand hai...maine to likh diya! What the hell was he blabbering! Naina's face flushed with colour and slowly, steadily and to Sameer's immense contentment, he saw his name gleaming in white just below hers in the heart they'd drawn. "I Love you Naina! he blurted. "I Love you Sameer! she replied with the same eagerness. He inched closer to her face and was about to kiss her, when the class roared with enthusiasm.

Naina looked up and saw a crimson leather ball coming her way. Inadvertently her hands curved upwards and she caught the ball in her hands, as the stands beside her erupted in cheer. As she tried to process what had just happened, her gaze flicked to the ground where Sameer was being lifted around the field in joy and shouts of, "Sameer! Sameer! echoed throughout the school. She saw her brother had lost the match, and then eyed the ball in her hands, "a gift from Sameer!

Sameer's eyes bored into the stands at the girl who'd caught his sixer. Funnily enough it was Naina- the sister of the opponent he'd just defeated.

Naina twirled the ball in her hands and then without realizing, without meaning to, she kissed the ball.

He saw her lift the ball to her lips.

And then Sameer woke up with sweat trickling down his face as he felt his lips, apparently wet from the kiss Naina seemed to have given him.


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asmita21180 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#2
Wow...Just wow..!
Let me congratulate you for your creativity... This was the most engrossing story in contest ...I had re-read it almost 7-8 times to get it riight ...

Loved your idea, loved your plot, loved the progress of story...Everything about the OS..

Congratulations for winning the contest ..Hope to read more..
Samaina_1990 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 6 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: asmita21180

Wow...Just wow..!

Let me congratulate you for your creativity... This was the most engrossing story in contest ...I had re-read it almost 7-8 times to get it riight ...

Loved your idea, loved your plot, loved the progress of story...Everything about the OS..

Congratulations for winning the contest ..Hope to read more..

Hey Asmita! OMG! Thank you so much for showering praises on this one! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story...I'd deliberately left it open to conclusions for the readers to ponder upon! Happy to see you found the story this engrossing! And this theme was a difficult one for me to write on...so decided to give an ode to the olden golden days of our show!
Love
Sur
Ross11 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 6 years ago
#4
Thank you Sur for this masterpiece.
I have read it as soon as you have submitted. I was very impressed with this story.
I do think while making themes I knew this one was hardest of all to portray in a story and you did fab job.Truly out of the box thinking, well deserved title. Congratulations for the win.
So, are we suppose to write down how we interpreted this piece or should keep it to ourselves? 😆
Yudkbh30 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#5
Love your new ideas
Amazing update
Samaina_1990 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 6 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Yudkbh30

Love your new ideas

Amazing update

Thank you so much dear! 🤗
Samaina_1990 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 6 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Ross11

Thank you Sur for this masterpiece.
I have read it as soon as you have submitted. I was very impressed with this story.
I do think while making themes I knew this one was hardest of all to portray in a story and you did fab job.Truly out of the box thinking, well deserved title. Congratulations for the win.
So, are we suppose to write down how we interpreted this piece or should keep it to ourselves? 😆

Hey Ross!
Thanks a ton! 😳
I know...I too found it the hardest to write upon, but since I'd already exhausted all the other themes in my stories...😆 I wasn't left with a choice! Tbh...I didn't have much time to think upon this one...you know my time crunches! 😆
But am still glad many of you enjoyed the story and came up with your interpretations and then the discussions you've had amongst yourselves! Wow! I'm honoured!

Of course! Why not? Feel free to share your interpretations...I'm eager to know! 😃

Regards,
Sur
Priya2910 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#8
First of all congratulations on the win!

It's a beautiful plot. Reminiscence of the School days romance. I think the best part of this show. You have expertly dealt with the match wala episode by creatively adding your twist.
SixteenAgain thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 6 years ago
#9
Hi Sur, I have to admit I did not guess this to be your work! It is quite different to how you usually approach storytelling. But as a writer this is great.. exploring different styles of writing and evaluating what the readers connect with and how.

When I re-read the story knowing that it is your intention to leave it open ended and open to individual interpretation, I was able to enjoy it more. While reading it as a part of the OS entries, I was not sure if it was just me who had not been able to understand the plot. But now knowing your intention, I can say you have nailed it! Cause irrespective of how many times one reads it.. it always feels like an unsolved puzzle.

I suddenly remembered reading The Second Lady by Irving Wallace long long ago. It's a political thriller with a open end like this.. no matter how many times I read it I could never determine whether the woman who end up living with the American president was his real wife or a Russian Spy.

So, well done dear!
Ross11 thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 6 years ago
#10
@Sur,
OK, so here you go.
As per my interpretation it was Naina's dream starts after she sits in stadium;
Like everything after this line is a dream "Naina felt elated as if she herself had won the cup and crept back to the stands quietly to watch her hero back in action."

Then catching and kissing the ball was reality and Sameer couldn't get over her kissing the ball.
His dream is "He saw her lift the ball to her lips."
He thought as if she had kissed him instead of ball and wakes up.

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