Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey
Since we are DMers, the class is Debating 101 (Class of 1997 – 10 saal se sab fail ho rahey hain. Allah jaaney kaun sa gunaah kiya tha ki ye class mujhe mili!!)
Today's debate topic is "What is the best punishment for spammers?".
Gauri, as usual, in her jaldbaazi to post before grabbing a quick lunch break, didn't read the topic fully and started writing. Her post was all about punishment – for kids, criminals and Symonds. Myth was so busy dreaming about Hrithik that all she managed was "Mashallah! Makkah bhej do!" Raj immediately left the class to do some practical research before writing, and couldn't make it back on time as CKY kept him going round in circles. CKY was bunking class. He had seen the topic from the entrance and decided to give it a miss. After all, what would he know about spamming? CB was trying to read Gauri's post so that he would have a rebuttal ready – unfortunately, the rebuttal was off-topic, too. DB immediately dialed Mr. DB's mobile to make sure she would be on the same wavelength as him. Of course, Mr. DB was playing with Sona, so she got engrossed in yakkety-yakking with the little darling and forgot all about posting. Lighty was waiting for Qwerty to post, so that she could pull his leg a bit. Qwerty, on his part, was trying to figure out which country the spammers were based in, to decide what the best punishment would be. Not being able to arrive at a conclusion, he decided to write for each country he remembered and of course, ran out of time before he could complete his post. Maya floated into the class 15 minutes late, took another 10 to check her hair, 10 more to look for paper in Kissenwa's Spidey costume, and 15 more trying to borrow a pen from someone. The class was over before she could even think about the post. The next day this is what I had to say to each one of them:
Gauri – Do bacchon ki maa ban gayee ho lekin baudampana gaya nahin. Kabhi to pehle soch liya karo. Chalo mera bathroom saaf karo.
Myth – Madam ji, Makkah bhejna aasan nahin hai – visa aur ticket kaun dega??? Go paint glasses, big nose and bushy eyebrows a la Groucho Marx on all JA posters in your mohalla.
Raj – Har waqt practical ki mat socho. Kabhi theory per bhi kaam karo, nahin to baahar nikaltey hi CKY jaise naakon chaney chabwa dengey. Go buy 500 belans and paint them pink. It has to be the right shade 😡 Nahin to DM se timeout!
CKY – Aap class mein aaney ka kasht mat keejiye. Aap ko bahar baithe hi sazaa mil jayegi – Shadow Raj for the next 72 hours and give me a handwritten copy of all his posts on IF.
CB – Kabhi to dhang ki baatein kiya karo – Gauri se panga liye baghair khana nahin hazam hota kya? Write 1000 times " O Lord! Forgive me for I know not what I am writing!"
DB – Sona ke saath bachchi ban gayeen. Ye bhi nahin socha ki dus baar fail ho chuki hain. Aise hi chalta raha to Sona bhi graduate kar jayegi aap se pehle. Jab tak ye course pass nahin karteen – no GC, no SC!
Lighty – Qwerty waise hi lamba hai. Aur kitni taang kheenchogee uski??? Focus on your work. Now write your entire post twice - in Hindi , without any mistakes!
Qwerty – You were supposed to give general suggestions for spammers, not a detailed analysis. Kindly unwarp your mind, or else I will have to resort to flogging you at shaadi.com. Now type your entire post backwards.
Maya – Ye zulfein choti mein baandh lo nahin to kaat daaloongi. After you have completed your post, burn Kissenwa's costume, and write 10 couplets praising Rakhi Sawant.
This is hillariousssssss 🤣🤣 Ulta google is just awesomeeeeeee... 👏... great question and equally dhasooo answering ....
DB – Dear GC! I mean God Creator – SJB ka bhala karma. Uss ney mera bahut khayal rakha hai! CB – Dear Almighty! Please continue my supply of unsuspecting posters and their bedhangee posts - aag mein ghee jo dalna hai! Qwerty – Aaj khush to bahut hogey! Main kuch maangney nahin aaya kyonki mujhe tum per vishwas nahin hai. Bus itna poochney aaya hoon ki meri ghaltiyon ke liye mujhe timeout milega ya danda! Lighty – Hey Parmeshwar! Aapki atyant kripa hogee yadi aap mere is nirmohi pati ka hriday parivartan kar dein taaki yeh mujhe aaney waaley varshon mein pratyek Hindi chalchitra dikhane le jaayen!
Bahnee – Bholenaath! Jaldi karo! I need inspiration for more tasks. Jao, main khud hi soch leti hoon! Rocksy – Ae Maalik! Ye Dayan khalajaan se bacha kar rakhna. Ghoorna, samjhana, daantna bhool kar seedhey maarney per aa gayee hain! CKY – Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, At home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, The bitter, The lager (This is lifted 😳) Raj – O duniya ke rakhwaaley! Sun dard bharey mere naaley. SJB ka belan chura kar, Kar de mere hawaaley! 
Tum Se Tum Tak
Anupamaa
