10 years ago: Dehradun, Hooda Mansion
Stretching her arms wide, she squinted her eyes at the ceiling upwards, a contented smile playing on her lips. She sighed and rolled over to his side of the rumpled bed, her hand caressing his pillow. She recollected how she had lain awake next to him the night before, watching him fall asleep. She found it fascinating that he slept like a baby, without a care in the world. When sleep finally weighed heavily over her eyelids and she could no longer keep them open, she snuggled in his arms and fell asleep as Adi, still asleep encased her in his strong embrace. She felt secure and at peace but peace had evaded Adi for years or perhaps a decade before he decided to bury his past behind him.
Now it no longer haunted him and everyone around her felt she was the reason Adi had learned to live again. She was not sure if that was indeed the case but truth was Adi had made her life beautiful in more ways than one. She felt complete - he had been the missing piece of the puzzle in her life and they fit together beautifully. She firmly believed that she and Adi were meant to be together even before she could fully understand the implications of being together forever. She had held onto the promise they had made as children even as her mother had brushed it aside saying once they grew up they would move on and marry someone with whom they would live with forever but she had stubbornly insisted if that were the case Adi would marry her.
After he had confessed his feelings to her five years ago while returning from the dargah, her happiness had known no bounds. However, there were moments when feelings of uncertainty plagued her, making her wonder if Adi had confused their friendship for love. But any doubts she had, waned with each passing day until there was no room for it. Adi loved her with a passion she had never known existed, with every moment making her life a kaleidoscope filled with irrevocable and unconditional love.
As a ray of the morning sun kissed her face taking away the last dregs of sleep from her eyes, Zoya blushed recounting the events of last night. It was certainly not the first time they had made love but each time it had been an ecstasy that was almost unbearable. She did not know where he began or where she ended but she could reminisce every touch, every kiss or the way he took her name like he was saying a fervent prayer. Adi was a part of her like she would always be his.
Stifling a yawn, she reached out to pick the garment that was closest to her - Adi's plaid shirt. She wore it and hugged it closer to her body taking in his musk smell that she had come to love lately. It felt warm and comforting. Getting off the bed, she glanced at the room for one last time. She sighed. She would miss this place.
This was the home Adi had grown up in - though it had seen its fair share of happy moments, this was the same place that had snatched away his childhood. This was the home that held his mother's memories and she knew a part of Adi would never part with it. A weak moment could mar all the beautiful memories you once cherished and his mother's death would always be a blemish in his life. Zoya envied Arjun in that regard - he had been too young when that happened and Adi had ensured he remained oblivious to the horrors he had faced in life, so that Arjun could enjoy a happy, carefree childhood sacrificing his own in the process. After a long painful struggle, he could move on at last and he could not wait to start a new chapter of his life, one where she would be a part of.
In a month's time Zoya would be Mrs. Zoya Aditya Hooda which meant she would be relocating to Mumbai. Adi had decided to sell the mansion and buy a penthouse in Mumbai they had both finalized two months ago. Waseem had offered to buy them the penthouse so that Adi would not have to sell their family mansion but Adi had politely declined saying he had no use for the mansion when even Arjun would move in with them after he completed his law studies. Waseem later offered to buy that mansion himself so that it could be converted into a home stay and given that Dehradun was a renowned tourist destination this would turn out to be beneficial for both of them and Adi agreed.
Zoya took a tour of the mansion recollecting every memory that had shaped their journey, right from their childhood when the five of them - she, Adi, Pooja, Arjun and Noor had played many games in the garden as their parents looked over them, the countless nights she had spent in the study trying to get Adi to study just before their exams, or the porch swing that had been their favorite hangout spot. As she stood there taking it all in, a delicious aroma wafted through her nostrils drawing her towards the kitchen where her favorite chef was at work. Well if you could imagine a chef wearing just a track pant showing off his lean muscular torso, which probably made him the hottest chef ever.
Adi's sharp ears caught the sound of soft footfalls and he smiled to himself as he flipped the pancake onto the plate.
"Are you checking me out?" he teased her pouring a generous amount of maple syrup on top of the pancakes before turning to see his intruder. He was taken aback seeing her in nothing but just his plaid shirt that barely covered her upper thigh. He fixed her with an intense gaze that burned right through her and though she felt herself flush she was glad to know the effect she had on him. She cleared her throat loudly.
"Look who's talking? What is it that I see... ummm... right there?" she teased him pretending to focus hard and pointed towards the corner of his mouth as Adi instinctively rubbed his mouth only to realize she was fooling with him. Well two could play this game he thought, a naughty look dancing in his eyes as he advanced towards her.
Zoya's laughter died in her throat when she saw the naked desire pooling in his eyes and backed away nervously until her back hit the solid wall behind her as he cornered her. Before she could even think of making for a run, he had scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the dining hall where he placed her on the table.
"Adi what are you..." she made a feeble attempt to protest as he leaned in closer keeping one hand on either side, trapping her in the spot.
"Shhh," he whispered placing a finger on her lip tugging it along her lower lip, trailing it along her chin and leaned in closer, his head dipping ever so slightly to the hollow in her collar bone but he ensured he never touched her. His lips barely a breath apart, blew a cool breath all over her sending her into a sensual frenzy. When he tilted his face bridging the distance between them she leaned towards him closing her eyes parting her lips slightly and waited with an anticipation that mounted with each passing second but the moment never came. Instead after what felt like an eternity she heard a loud crunching sound from nearby and when she opened her eyes, there he was, the devil standing six feet away from her - munching on an apple he had picked up from the fruit bowl on the table next to her as she eyed it sourly and glared at Adi who gave her the puppy dog eyes that only infuriated her further.
"What?" he asked her innocently taking another bite of the apple. "I was hungry!"
Picking up another apple she chucked it at him with full force which he cleverly dodged.
"Hate you Captain Hooda," Zoya hissed crossing her arms over her chest looking pointedly away.
"But I love you Siddiqui," he said kissing her on the cheek as her frown deepened and she continued to look the other side as he brought her, her favorite breakfast - banana pancakes drizzling in maple syrup with litchi. Her resolve to not respond to Adi was weakening as her stomach was waging a battle with her will power.
No Zoya, you are stronger than this she told her herself mentally as Adi brought it closer to her nostrils, the delicious aroma tantalizing her senses. She clenched her fists tightly to stop her hands from grabbing the plate and devouring the dish.
"Well you may hate me all you want but I am sure you can show some love for your favorite breakfast," he said coming to stand in front of her but she refused to look at him. Yet she couldn't help peeking a glance at the plate in his hand that made her mouth water.
"Are you sure Zo? Well," he exhaled and added, "in that case sorry Mr. Pancake but looks like you're no longer desired and maybe you are destined to be wasted," he said in a sad voice turning to dispose it when a pair of hands shot forward snatching the plate from his hand.
"Mr. Pancake your chef might be heartless to dispose of you but Zoya Siddiqui will not allow you to be treated like trash," she said arching her brows at Adi who smirked with a victorious glint in his eyes. His mission was accomplished as Zoya dug in with childlike excitement like she hadn't eaten for days. Just like how Adi had teased her a moment ago, Zoya too pretended to feed him a bite only to snatch it away at the right moment and she giggled like a little girl, her melodious laughter echoing in the nearly empty dining hall.
Adi gazed at her lovingly, wishing time would stand still so that he could capture everything about this moment and engrave it in his memory forever, be it the twinkle in her eyes, her childlike innocence or the sound of her laughter - he loved the woman before him with every fiber of his being. He could not remember the exact moment she had come into his life or made her way into his heart but he knew one thing - he had never loved anyone the way he loved her and he never would either. She had been a bright shining star in the dark night sky that was his life and whenever he felt lost, he had found himself back again in her. Destiny, which he had once despised had bestowed him with something so precious that even though it were real, right before his eyes he constantly lived in the fear of losing it. Never for a moment did he doubt that he was indeed the luckiest man on this planet but what if he were never enough? He had moved on from his past but what if its shadows tainted her happiness? What if he could not give her all that she deserved and more? As their big day drew in closer, a new fear had gripped him. And he was not sure how he could broach this matter with Zoya but given they were about to take a big leap forward in their relationship, he did not wish to keep her in the dark.
"Zo, I have been thinking, you know about what we will do after our marriage... you know next steps and stuff like that..." he began on a skeptical note as Zoya looked up surprised, mentally running through their checklist.
"We have booked the penthouse, we have also zeroed in on our honeymoon destination, booked tickets and all arrangements are in place for Arjun to move in with us," she said crossing them off her fingers. "What else is there?"
Adi shook his head in dismay. Unlike him Zoya had not even spared it a thought, he thought wryly.
"Ummm... you know about a family?" Adi prompted but Zoya shrugged her shoulders and resumed eating the pancakes.
"Arjun is moving in with us after a couple of months anyways," she said taking a bite looking at Adi curiously wondering what was playing on his mind.
"Zo I am not talking about Arjun," he began, running a hand through his hairs nervously. "You know I was talking about starting a family. About having kids?"
Zoya did a double take choking on the pancake.
"Ki... kids?" Zoya mumbled nervously not believing what she just heard. They had never discussed on this topic before and she was not sure why he brought this up now. Was he honestly contemplating on having kids this early?
"Why? What happened? You don't seem particularly thrilled," Adi said shocked to see her balk at the thought of children.
"Of course, Adi... We will have kids when the time comes but I am surprised you are thinking about it right away," Zoya said astonished.
"What? No! Certainly not! I was not suggesting anything like that," Adi explained as Zoya heaved a sigh of relief.
"I was thinking about what our future would be like, you know say in five years or so. When we actually have kids..."
His tone took on a serious note which Zoya did not miss.
"Zo it's just that I don't know if I will ever be a good parent. You know... sometimes the thought makes me happy that even though I could never live my childhood I will get a chance to see it through our child's eyes. But what do I have to offer him or say, her? I have nothing to draw out of my own childhood. What if I can never be good enough? What if I fail them?" he asked her with a tormented look in his eye and she understood what it was he wanted to say. Before he could continue any further she placed a finger on his lips.
"Adiii! You are thinking too much. Don't do this to yourself," she said keeping the plate aside and cupped his face in both her palms.
"Sometimes you learn how to do things on your own without having anything or anyone to guide you. After Anjana Aunty..." she began when she saw him recoil like he had been doused in cold water looking away. But Zoya forced him to look at her and today he had to hear her out. She knew deep down that his insecurities will never leave him but she would never let them win over her love. She would never allow him to ever doubt himself again.
"After Anjana Aunty died, you and Arjun were left on your own and despite what you were going through, you never let Arjun see through your pain. Not because you did not want him to see you weak but you never wanted him to become weak. You cared for him like a father, protected him like a brother and loved him like a friend. And Arjun is the person he is today because of you. He could never have asked for anything more when he had you and more importantly you are the most wonderful friend anyone can ever have," Zoya said firmly locking his gaze with hers.
"I am sure when the time comes," she added, "and I know it will - you will make an amazing father too! Our child, be it a son or a daughter will be the luckiest ever to have you as a father and never doubt that. Not even for a moment," she said kissing him on the forehead as he smiled, his fear abating with Zoya's assurance.
"So we will have kids then?" Adi asked her half laughing, half smiling recollecting her reaction a moment ago.
"Arrey, when did I say I don't want them? Maybe not right away but I want to. I would love to have a house full of children, to love, pamper and spoil. In fact I have already zeroed in on their names," Zoya said in a tone of finality daring Adi to challenge her on this. But he laughed a hearty laugh.
"Wow! You are ahead of me by heaps and bounds Mrs Hooda," he mused. "Fine! You get to choose the names but I get to choose whether we have a son or a daughter," he said firmly as Zoya made to protest but he cut her across.
"We will have a daughter first and she will be just like you. Her eyes will be like yours - big, beautiful chocolate brown eyes, even your button nose," he said tapping her nose as she smacked him in the shoulder playfully.
"Wavy hairs just like yours and..."
"Hello?" Zoya interrupted indignantly. "You are forgetting about the mother Captain Hooda! I take the trouble of nurturing her for nine months inside me and I don't even get to decide how she should be? You get to have a say in that also? Not fair!"
"Ok baba, you too can add in your wishlist! What do you want for her?"
"I want her to have your smile," Zoya replied lovingly tracing the dimple that adorned the corner of his mouth as it stretched into a smile that always made her heart skip a beat.
"And when she smiles, I want that tiny dimple to play on her face just like yours. You know Adi? You have the best smile ever but you don't realize it. When you smile na - like really smile, it reaches your eyes and you have no idea what I would trade to see that on your face," Zoya said with tears brimming her eye envisioning a beautiful child - their child who would be a perfect amalgamation of the two of them. She knew Adi would treasure their little angel beyond anything and the thought warmed her, making her want to love him even more.
"Besides you are a miser," she said changing the tone all of a sudden. "You are not happy unless you wear that trademark grimace on your face for most of the time. And that is also why I want our daughter to have your smile so that when she smiles you can see yourself in her and learn to smile again."
Present Day: Hooda Penthouse, Mumbai
Lunch at 12:30pm Aliya is allergic to pineapples (kinda like you bhai 😊)
FYI: She loves dal khichdi with raita (I know - a weird combination but she takes after you in this matter 😉)
Aditya frowned as he read that line in Arjun's TO DO list. Speaking about weird tastes, it was a bit rich coming from someone who lived on coffee for meals he thought sarcastically.
When Aliya asked him what he wanted her to do, he had been utterly clueless. He said the first thing that came to his mind - sorting. He mentally cursed his OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) for coming up with that.
Damn it, she is just a kid you idiot he told himself and before he could look like a complete imbecile before a four-year-old, he suggested she could probably sort her stuffed toys according to their size and shape and she seemed only too eager to please her father. She ran into her room as fast as her little feet could carry her and brought out as many toys as her tiny arms permitted her to hold onto, repeating this routine a few more times. Realizing he had assigned her a herculean task he decided to lend her a hand in fetching the toys. And that was when he stepped into her little world - a world he had built for his daughter even before she opened her eyes for the first time.
4 years and 5 months ago: Hooda Penthouse, Mumbai
"Can I open them now?"
"Not yet! Hang on," he replied guiding his blindfolded wife gently. Zoya had spent the last two weeks in Dehradun with her parents while Adi had used this time to plan a surprise for her.
"Are you ready? 1, 2, 3 and here you go," he exclaimed taking the blindfold off as Zoya gasped loudly.
A burst of bright, flashing colors greeted her while in every corner of the room she could see paintings of every possible Disney princesses she could think of. There were toys in every form and shape, all arranged neatly and in the center of the room was a majestic cradle that held a banner across it that read, 'Welcome Princess'. Behind it, the wall adorned a huge wooden photo collage made of oak wood that would soon grace the memories of their princess' growing years.
"Do you like it?" he asked her with a childlike gleam in his eyes as she bit her lips to stop a sob from escaping but she could do nothing to stem the flow of tears that made their way down her beautiful doe eyes.
"Adi... it's just... I don't know what to say," she fumbled struggling to find words to express her feelings. She was overwhelmed to see how painstakingly Adi had built this nursery emphasizing on every little detail.
She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"It's beautiful Adi," she whispered in his ears.
"This is the best surprise ever," she added extricating herself from the embrace as he cupped her face and gently kissed her tears away.
"No Zo! This is nothing before the happiness you are bringing into our lives and you have no idea what you have given me," he told her, happy tears pooling in his eyes and going down on his knees he planted a kiss on her barely noticeable baby bump.
"I can't wait for you to come into our world princess and remember one thing - your pa may be a miser like your mumma claims when it comes to expressing his feelings vocally but he will always love you, no matter what happens," he promised his unborn child.
Back to Present
Aditya held onto the door frame for support as memories from his past played out in his mind like it had happened right then, right before his eyes. A tidal wave of agony engulfed him as he fought with every fiber of his being to overcome it. He fought hard to seek some means of respite when his eyes fell on a frame encasing a drawing that hung on the wall. A drawing made by a four-year-old showcasing a little girl walking hand in hand with a man into the sunset in a park. He shifted his focus on to that drawing instead in a bid to distract himself. His eyes scanned the picture from top to bottom and below the figures he could see the names - 'Aliya' and 'Pa'. This was not the only one. Involuntarily his feet moved on their own accord, compelling him to live the moments he had missed all those years depicted in her drawings. Even though he had not been a part of her life, his daughter had made him a part of her world, imagining him to be with her always along with her chachu and chachi. Till yesterday he could barely recollect how she looked like but all these years that little girl had taken the effort of preserving him in a memory that was not even real. He looked at the photo collage that was filled with pictures of hers taken since she was born and he traced a hand along them trying to get familiar with those chapters of his life he should have been a part of - capturing her first smile, the first steps she ever took, her first birthday among many others. He then cast his glance towards her makeshift world, her dollhouse and tried to see her world through her eyes. He could see figurines for her Chachu, Chachi, Nana, Nani, Poo Maasi and Sakshi Nani. And finally, there he was - on the rooftop in his pilot's uniform next to a toy plane. In a far corner on the rooftop was a tiny figurine for Aliya that stood there waving at him as he made to board the plane. Unbidden a small smile crept through his face that almost reached his eyes but the very next instant his face fell when he realized that even though he had made no attempt to ever know his own child, she was familiar with many aspects of his life.
As he stood there weighing the choices he had made and mulling over the infinite possibilities and turns his life would have taken had he acted differently, he felt a gentle tug on his hand breaking him out of his reverie.
"Pa, I have kept all toys outside. Will you teach me how to do it?" she asked him in that same innocent voice again filled with hope and longing. As Aditya stared at her little fingers holding his, he wondered if destiny was giving him an opportunity to make a choice again? Even though he had done nothing to prove himself worthy of it? Yet if it did would he ever be able to take it? He cast one look at the dollhouse that seemed to make up his mind for him. As he folded his fingers around Aliya's little ones, he promised himself he would try. He knew things would never change overnight but this could be a start.
What he did not know however was that by making this choice he was embarking on a journey of self-discovery that would eventually set him free forever.
Book Talk
Cricket
