Though the show is over and I am angry, but I am watching it from the beginning. I like the initial pairing of Sangya and Suryadev, but I am disappointed that they failed to show Chayya's guilt. So here goes another OS, because this couple is not well appreciated. Thanks to writer for ruining the characters.
Only if for a Night
The first time Suryadev asked her in his room, she was afraid. It was late at night, when he finally came near her and gently asked for her company. She was electrified by his simple touch on her shoulder, and she couldn't take her eyes off when she saw his gentle smile. It was her first day in this world, and she was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. But for some reason, she couldn't take her mind off of his longing voice; she couldn't think how her creator Sangya could leave her husband. She felt sad for the man, all powerful, yet lonely. Sangya's voice kept ringing in her head, and she couldn't help but feel guilty for destroying her faith in her.
It's fear, she thought, it's just the fear that led her to the decision to go into the Sun God's room. And oh Mahadev, she was not utterly truthful. She loved the brightness of the Sun, she loved his heat when he touched her arm, and she loved the longing in his voice. Who knew for how long this man yearned for his wife's company? She felt pity for the man. And the thought set fire coursing through her veins in a way that she didn't think was possible. Her heart kept beating faster, and suddenly it became difficult to breathe.
Then everything happened so fast. Chayya could not ignore the longing in the eyes of mighty sun.
She was the shadow, and he was the sun. Shadow can't exist without sun.
He asked why she denied him for so long. Her mouth was still hovering over his, still sharing the same breath. "Sangya." He breathed out, his voice labored. "Sangya." She looked at him, body trembling and then he said the one thing that shattered her already fragile heart. "I wanted you for so long." He repeated it like it's some sort of prayer, "I really, really want you.
She cringed when she heard the longing whispers of Devi Sangya's name in his lips. She felt sad when she learned how much he yearned for her. She held the mighty sun in her arms. Did Devi Sangya ever saw this vulnerable side of her husband?
"I am here. " She promised him. She smiled (it was fake. She knew it was fake.)
Right then, Chayya knew she was in love.
And she was terrified.
It was all just an elaborate game (she's always hated games.)
She felt guilty. She left the room when Suryadev finally fell asleep and went into her bedchamber.
She cried in the bed. Gut-wrenching sobs that probably even her sleeping children could hear. She didn't care. Her heart was breaking.
(It had been breaking since the first time she breathed in the air.)
She was pregnant.
It could be the biggest joy of her life, but she was afraid. She just broke Sangya's faith. She had done enough sin by breaking her trust, but now having Suryadev's child...it was just out of limit.
She held Yam and Yami close to her chest and stayed in the bed for the day. She wanted to run, but...
Suddenly the darkness of her room was removed by a bright light. She shielded her eyes to escape the brightness, and saw Suryadev entering into her room. She began to move away from her place when she saw the man sitting on the edge of her bed. He caught her hand as she began to move.
"You look beautiful today. His smile was brighter than his radiance. "May I know the reason?
Chayya smiled nervously. It had been months since the end of Dev-Asura war, and she was happy to see him back. She adjusted her clothes to cover the bump in her middle.
But she could not. Because she felt the sun god's hand touching the swelling of her stomach. "Are you... He looked at her curiously, his smile grew wider. There was so much happiness in his smile that she could not ignore.
Her heart was beating loudly against her chest and she could feel her stomach tighten. She loved him. Even after everything, she still loved him. Mahadev help her, she could never ever stop loving this man.
(She needed to get away from him. She needed to not be around him because she knew that she was not the right to have him.)
"Yes," at this she blushed furiously, "But you look tired, Suryadev. She still stuttered and stammered around him. She gently put Yam and Yami in their cribs and led him towards his bedchamber. He gave her a bright smile.
"Thank you. He said, intertwining her finger into his, "Sangya, you always make me happy. Did I tell how much I miss you during the war? . Without pausing, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her inside their bedchamber.
(She remembers Sangya's warning. She could vaguely think that she was breaking her trust by using her husband, breaking Suryadev's trust by not telling him the truth. But she remained silent because it was her greatest tragedy.)
It was halfway into her pregnancy when she felt the baby kicking inside her. She could not stop crying when Suryadev gently placed his hand over her growing belly and felt the baby moving.
"My child will be as strong as his father. He smiled proudly, "Do you know how much I long for our relationship being as normal like this. I always envied other Devas for being so happy in their marital life.
"Yes." Chayya blubbered, "I always longed for this day." She placed her hand over her stomach and tears began to flow from her eyes.
She really couldn't do this anymore. It hurt too much. Every time she woke up and her guilt continued to eat her up from inside, it killed her and she won't...she can't...not anymore. The baby inside her somehow sensed it's mother's distress and kept kicking restlessly.
"Sangya? Suryadev felt concerned by the sudden change of mood of his wife and gently placed his arms around her shoulders. Yam and Yami waddled near their mother's feet. Their tiny hands clutched the hem of her dress tightly. "Ma... Yam smiled with his toothless grin.
Looking at the tiny children looking at her hopefully, she suddenly forgot all the pains that were hurting her constantly. She picked up both of them in her arms, and kissed their heads gently.
Leaning in the arms of the man she loved, and holding the children she grew to love, Chayya couldn't imagine a life without them.
"I am alright. She smiles at her husband.
The baby kicked in her womb happily.
Finally her fear came true.
She was not the fair, beautiful Devi Sangya. She was dusky colored Chayya- the shadow.
She could not stop her treacherous tears streaming down her cheeks when the father of her child questioned about her chastity. She could not but feel betrayed when he denounced his own child.
But she knew she deserved this. It was her punishment for betraying her creator's faith. Her punishment was to stay away for her own child, like she broke her trust.
So she ran, and ran, and finally found a place to hide her son from his father wrath.
But she was sad. She left her only child alone and returned to her home.
Or was it her home?
"I have hurt you." She heard Suryadev saying when she stood alone in the balcony alone, remembering the cry of her lonely son.
She laughed and it was harsh and bitter and she could feel him wince. "No." Her voice was cold, colder than ice, "I deserve this. I deserve everything for my sin.
"What sin?" He asked quietly, there was a hint of guilt in his eyes. Did he really feel guilty when he denounced his youngest son? Did he miss him too, like she did?
"I am sorry. He said quietly, "But I can't undo my curse. His presence is inauspicious for us.
"But he is your child too, Suryadev. She snorted and then twisted around so that he could not see her face. There was so much guilt. She couldn't hold this in anymore. She felt like she was dying. He was killing her. She's never cursed this much in her life.
How could one break someone's heart when he loved her too much? He was so loving as a husband, how could he be so cruel as a father?
She hated him for abandoning his child.
She hated herself for betraying the trust of her creator.
Her first night with him was still her greatest tragedy but maybe...just maybe, she was something similar to him.
The end
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Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
Jhanak
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