4 days passed by in emotional gloominess. Gauri knew he was overwhelming with guilt over his profound misjudgement and the effect that it had caused on both of their lives. Even though he was the one initiating conversations, ever since she returned bareilly she did remain aloof and unattached because of her lingering hurt. Now that she had let out one of the biggest pending secrets between them, she couldn't help feel light. But he had been maintaining a stoic silence. His silence signified hurt and frustration, potential hazards it could have caused on her life, over-whelming guilt and insecurity over self-worth of her love.
She tried to intiate small day-to-day conversations but he avoided any kind of eye-contact from her. He did continue his newly formed routine of asking about her well-being every often through messages and calls, but the routine stopped there. He'd rather withdrawn into his shell, consumed by guilt and held up not being able to come out of it. Sometimes she could feel his stare for like minutes together, but he would glance away when she turned towards him.
Even though they had painted a pleasant picture of their togetherness, before the family, ever since gauri returned from bareilly, Shivaay knew there were some differences yet to be sorted out. But being a witness to a honest heartfelt confession from his brother, he genuninely believed that they longed for each other, hence love would make up to all the differences existed. But the difference in behaviour was evident for the past 2 days, when a worried shivaay decided to take it up with Gauri. It took time for her to convince him, that they were doing just fine and that it could be some work related stress.
When she came in, the room was dark while her Jatadhari pati was standing near the window, gazing aimlessly at the sky. His face was as dark as the clouds that day while his eyes reflected endless sorrow and pain. She knew he had been contemplating the consequences of his actions in the past, but she didn't want that to let him withdraw himself due to guilt. It pained her to look at him all guilt-stuck hence decided to get him out of it.
She moved silently beside him and stood as his shadow. The winds were gushy and clouds dark.
"Omkaaraji"
"Hmm.. Gauri.." He spoke as if he had woken up from a dream.
"aap ko sab kuch jaana tha, issliye maine wo sab keh diya. Par iska matlab yeh nahi aap khud ko itna taqleef de. jo kuch bhi hua, wo halaat aur waqt ki kharaabi tha, issliye aap khud ko doshi mat maniye ki sab kuch aap hi wajahh se hua" She held his hand, speaking in a softer tone.
"I have sinned alot gauri. I dont even know if i will ever get an atonement for my sins. Paapi hoon main"
"Please Omkaaraji. Aap ne zabardasti todi na yeh sab kiye. Halaat waisi thi, uske liye kaun kuch kar sakthe. aap please wo sab bhool jayiye. aap hi ne kaha ki, hum nayi shuruvaat karenge. to purani cheezon ko yaad karke kya faayda"
"Please Gauri. tum mujhe better feel karwane ke liye aise baat mat karo. Maine zindagi mein hamesha doosron ki taqleef utha liye hai, meri maa ki, rudra prinku ki, Shivaay ki.. Par maine kabhi doosron ko taqleef nahi diya hain, Gauri. Khud ko taqleef deta hoon, par meri parivaar ko nahi hone deta. Tum meri ishq ho, meri biwi ho, meri sab kuch ho. You know how it feels to realize that i have staked your integrity because of my misjudgements?" He pulled her forcefully and slammed her onto him, furious at himself.
Gauri could realize him, eyes closed. She knew the turmoil that he is going through, his restlessness and his frustration over himself, point clear. Infact, she knew the extent of devastation he is pulling himself through, over her revelation few days back. She had to get him, afloat. She can't let him bury himself once again, in his own grave.
She leaned forward holding his waist with her right hand placing her left hand on his chest. Her face rested where his heart lay. For a while, she kept aside the burning hurt realizing that he needed her more than anything, this moment.
"Omkaaraji" her deep voice had enormous powers.
He least expected her to react the way she did, but when she hugged him, he held on to her like his life hung on that hug. He held her airtight, like there wasn't a tomorrow, and that the world is going to stop the next moment.
"Gauri.. Gauri.." all he could mutter is her name, whilst resting his head over hers.
"Main chahthi hoon, ki hum purane cheezon ko bhool jaay aur aage badna seekhe. Kya aap mere liye itna nahi kar sakthe?" She knew what words strike and she told the exact ones.
"Par Gauri.. main.."
"Sshhh..Aap kuch bologe nahi, Kya aap kar sakthe ho ki nahi?"
"Meri zindagi ab tum ho Gauri. Tumhaare liye kuch bhi karne ki tayyar hoon, main"
"toh teek hai, aap aise khud ko taqleef dena band kijiye aur normal rahiye. Baaki waqt aur haala t pe chodte hain"
"Gauri kya main ek sawaal poochoonga toh tum honest jawaab doge?"
"Kya"
"Kya tum abhi bhi, mujhe utna hi pyaar karte ho?"
She sighed. She herself wasn't clear about the answer. She was hurt and saddened by his accusations, yes. But has the love faded or dimished?
May be or May be not.
"Pyaar ek hi baar hote hain Omkaaraji, Woh hum kar chuke hain" She didn't want to answer much neither did he ask for more.
**********
Things did get better afterwards, while the routine set in. Slowly the life was getting in pace, with newer conversations, memories and equation.
It was an evening snack time, with most of the family members at the table chatting away happily. Omkaara left his mobile phone in the table, to get something from inside, while his mobile was constantly buzzing with some notification. The louder tone was proving to be a disturbance but he had a pattern to unlock. Everyone gave a surprised look at Gauri when she revealed that she isn' aware. Shivaay grew thoughtful while anika gave a suspicious look at her. Rudra sprung to the action. Afterall, he knew his O well.
"Yeh lo, just as i guessed" He flashed a victorious smile after he unlocked the phone
"Par kaise"
"Bhaiyya O ki sirf ek hi pattern ho sakthi hain. Wo hain G"
Everyone chuckled, while Gauri blushed remotely. Rudra couldn't stop there.
"yeh dekhiye. Wallpaper bhi bhabhi kii collage. Bhaiyya mhare O, majnu ban chuke hain" Rudra's mischeivous glint left Gauri blushing profusely.
Shivaay tried to snatch the phone, but it was in vain.
"Yeh dekthe hain, ki bhaabhi ki naam kaise save karke rakhe hain"
"Rudra you should stop now. this is not right" Shakthi warned against this
"Chote papa, sirf yeh."
Shivaay kept on trying while rudra exclaimed "Oh my god. My G.. hmm not bad eh"
He finally kept the phone down. Omkaara arrived just in time, while the entire family chuckled at him, secretively.
*********
Omkaara was walking up to Shivaay's room for a chat, just when he heard noises near their locked door. Anika was half-heartedly refusing her husband, who seemed to be in mood for something steamy.
"Shivaay chodiye, koi aajayega. Raat bhi nahi hua hai"
Omkaara looked scandalized. He certainly didnt expect to catch his brother in midst of some intimate time. He turned with all hurriedness, just then his little chirraiyya was rushing towards Shivaay's room with some message for her bhaujay. Omkaara caught her hand and restrained from walking on in, while she looked surprised.
"Omkaara ji, chodiye humhe.. humhe anika bhaujai se important baatein karni hai"
"Ab nahi Gauri.. chalo yahan se"
"Kya hua, mujhe abhi baat karni hai.." She was resolved in her adamancy when he heard anika's squeak
"Shivaay.. chodiye humhe.. yeh kya kar rahe hain.. Raat hain na Shivaay"
"Anika, I can't wait until night. Poore din i have been restless. Ab aajao"
"Aaoo.." Gauri ran away from near the door, startled.
Omkaara was eagerly watching his minion chirrayya's face on hearing the intimate conversation that was going on, while Gauri looked scandalized. She knew little of all these, fair knowledge from Salman khan's films. She had once experienced the sneak peak of it from her own Jatadhari, but then she was so much preoccupied in her own thoughts to restrain buamaa and her evil plans. Her face turned red and she was struggling to face him.
Omkaara gave a wicked smile "Toh, abhi baat karnihai tumhe"
"Aap.. aap bhina.. keh..dete.. ki wo.. un dono.. ki.." she was not knowing how to finish the sentence.
"Ki.. kya?"
"Kuch nahi.. chodiye humhe" she ran away from the place while omkaara's mind visualized all the naughtier things, with his chirraiyya.
***************
Seher Hone Ko Hai
CID
