Omkara Singh Oberoi looked up from the canvas in front of him at the soft, melodic voice calling his name
"Om bhaiyya... dekho na hum ne kya banaya hai aap ke liye!"
The little figure almost hopping in excitement, standing holding a drawing sheet in front of him brought a smile to his face. He looked fondly at Parvati, as she excitedly unfurled her latest creation in front of his eyes. The name, the energy, the bright colors she loved and the penchant for life... everything was the same. In little 10 year old Parvati, Omkara Singh Oberoi saw his Gauri, for what she would've been had she not faced all that she'd had to in her tough existence.
It was now almost a year since she'd left him... Rather, he'd driven her away... with his stubbornness, his ill-timed anger and his even more misplaced silence. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday... that day would remain etched in his memory till the end of his lifetime.
For all the occasions in which his words had given him and his brothers the strength to do the right thing, they'd failed him disastrously in every way when it came to Gauri. With Gauri, his words never seemed to fall in the right places. Their farce of a relationship had been built upon the fragile foundation of long silences and caustic words, kept alive by her pathetic devotion... and broken into smithereens by his ego and stubborn refusal to listen to reason or say the words that might've given that relationship some breathing room to recuperate.
Though he'd always known that she was serious about her self-respect, Omkara had never really believed... rather, never really wanted to believe that she would be able to actually leave him and stay out of his life.
But she had... she'd left almost a year back.
That night after trying to bring back his long lost inspiration, when he'd abruptly pulled back at the mention of Bareilly, Gauri had understood that whatever was in their past still left a long shadow on their present. She'd tried talking to him, pleaded with him and finally demanded answers of him... and while he'd left her without answers once more, he'd gone back later, brimming with self-righteous anger and yelled at her that she had no space in his heart and was no part of his life.
She'd left then... She'd gotten the long-awaited answers to her questions and she'd gone without turning back even once. She'd considered him akin to her Shankarji, considered their relationship her pooja... but he'd pushed her away enough for her to leave her Shankarji and her pooja without a second glance, like she barely knew or cared about either.
And now, here he was, waiting for any news of her like a fool... waiting in Bareilly where no one knew of him as Omkara Singh Oberoi. Sure, he still kept in touch with his mother and brothers regularly... at least they understood his need to do this. But this was his penance... Gauri had taken whatever he'd thrown at her with dignity and grace. She'd waited patiently for him to deal with his demons and give their relationship a name... give it the importance it deserved. And she'd held on till he'd explicitly left no room for hope or redemption.
Now, it was his turn to do the waiting and hoping. So he did... he'd moved to Bareilly, knowing that she would return to her home at some point of time in the future. He spent the days he waited for her by teaching art to the children and producing a multitude of his own work, making his agent and manager very happy with the output. Gauri had succeeded in bringing back his inspiration with a vengeance and even though she wasn't around to see it, Omkara knew that it would make her happy when she came to know.
Here in Bareilly, everywhere he turned, something or the other reminded him of her. It was a comfort to be surrounded by thoughts and memories of her... after all, they were all he had left of her and Omkara Singh Oberoi had come to treasure every single moment of their short relationship. Whether it was a moment he'd spent with Chulbul or Gauri, no matter if it was a moment of peace or anger, every single aspect of that relationship had become etched into his mind.
For a year now, no one knew what had become of Gauri Kumari Sharma... even Shivaay's formidable resources had come up empty. It was like she'd disappeared from existence. She had no family to worry about anymore now that her adoptive mother had succumbed to her illness in the hospital around the same time Gauri had left Oberoi Mansion. Even though everyone else had lost hope and given up on ever finding Gauri again, Omkara still waited for her... he knew she would be back. She had to... his very life depended on it. He breathed because she still existed in this world... and as long as they both lived, he could find redemption. This was the notion that kept him going every single minute of his cursed existence.
Even as he ran a fond hand over Parvati's head while praising her talent, Omkara felt his eyes prickle with tears that had been held back far too long. It wasn't very often he got openly emotional about his thoughts... but Parvati just seemed to bring out his feelings of loneliness and longing for the one woman who'd reached his soul, which was something else he'd only realized after she'd left.
"Kaa hua Om bhaiyya? Aap itne udaas kyun lag rahe ho?"
"Aisa kuch nahin hai meri choti si chiraiyya... aap mere baare mein bilkul fikar mat karo. Main theek hoon"
"Theek hain to aankhon mein aansoon kyun dikh rahe hain humein?"
The little girl in front of him put her hands on her hips and looked at him sternly and for a second, Omkara could see his Gauri standing right beside Parvati, the same expression on her face, silently upbraiding him for wallowing in his misery instead of doing something about it. He knew she wouldn't let him be depressed or sad for even a second had she been there, never mind letting a single tear escape his eyes.
Wiping his eyes hurriedly, Omkara shook his head and smiled at the girl looking at him curiously
"Kuch nahin... bas kisi ki yaad aa gayi"
"Oh... aap jis ko bhi abhi yaad kar rahe the, zaroor wo bhi aap ko yaad kar rahe honge! Accha humein ab jaana hai... baad mein aap se milne aayenge... Bye!"
She ran a couple of steps before running back to him
"Oh... Om bhaiyya, hum to aap se poochna hi bhool gaye! Humari didi aayi hain Delhi se... kya hum unhein aap ki paintings dikha sakte hain? Wo bhi bilkul aap ke painting ki tarah bohot khoobsurat hain"
Omkara nodded, knowing that he never could refuse Parvati anything, his mind still stuck on the many paintings of Gauri that filled his little house now.
"To hum abhi aaye... zyaada der nahin lagaayenge!"
Parvati grinned a bright, victorious smile at him, made that much cuter due to the missing two front teeth, and ran off, her embroidered dupatta fluttering behind her, caressing Omkara's face like someone else's dupatta had, the first time they met right there in Bareilly.
It had taken him far too long to understand just how much Gauri had become a part of his life... she'd been his silent supporter, his friend, counselor, co-conspirator, girl Friday and conscience all rolled into one tiny person. The relationship they'd built during her Chulbul phase, with no misconceptions clouding his judgment, could probably be the single purest relationship he'd ever had in his lifetime. The rush of memories made his already welled up eyes tear just a bit... a lone drop rolled down his cheek and Omkara made no effort to wipe it away this time.
It felt good to finally give credence to those emotions that had been shut away for far too long. Even if he hadn't been able to name their relationship while she was there, the infrequent tears that came in the wake of his missing wife made the connection real and solid for Omkara. Like he had the right to feel lonely without her, he had the right to miss her and that he had the right to love her as much as he'd come to understand he did. So he continued to wait for her, continued to be her husband as she'd wanted him to be and continued to love her with the hope that he might get to express it to her one day.
Most of his days in Bareilly were spent in peace and quiet, slowly coming to understand the Gauri he'd never learned anything about while she'd been right beside him. Though most people were still scared of Kaali Thakur and his brothers even if they were rotting in jail for their numerous crimes, Omkara had found a number of people who loved Gauri like she was their own. While learning about all the trouble she'd gone through not only after she'd met him but also during her childhood, made the mountain of guilt he labored under that much heavier, most days gave him a new perspective into the beautiful person he'd had the good fortune of having in his life.
But some days, like that one, the memories became too much... the loneliness and the empty space next to him that she used to fill so perfectly, gnawed at him. The feeling of loss became too final and real... and Omkara would start to doubt his ability to hold on. He'd always leaned on his brothers, his art and later, his addiction, to get the help he needed to weather the storms of his life. Now, even though she wasn't next to him, the specter of Gauri, the memory of his wife-who-wasn't, the multitude of art he'd created in her image... they helped him stay strong and true to his path. Nobody ever said penance was easy, that redemption was instant... Omkara knew that he would continue down this path he'd chosen for himself till the day he succeeded in making his chiraiyya understand... That she didn't have space in his heart or in his life because she had the entirety of his heart and she was his whole life.
Omkara sighed, feeling the chaos of emotions rushing helter-skelter inside him as he prepared to close up the house and leave for his daily jaunt to the local mandir to pray to her Shankarji, when he remembered Parvati's words about bringing her didi to show her the paintings. While Omkara didn't share his art with everyone, he'd never been able to keep anything from Parvati, right from day one and today too, he wouldn't be able to keep anything from her.
Sure enough, it was barely five minutes later that her high, sweet voice echoed the street that led to his little house. Omkara barely heard the little girl's excited voice coming through the doorway, as involved as he'd been in his thoughts.
"Aao Didi... yahi wo chitrakaar bhaiyya ka ghar hai. Ander aake dekho to sahi... kitni sundar sundar paintings banaayi hain bhaiyya ne... aur sab ke sab bilkul aap ki tarah lagte hain!"
"Hum aa rahe hain Paro... zara dheere to chalo"
As the words and the hauntingly familiar voice filtered through his brain, Omkara got up hurriedly and turned, his heart beating painfully in anticipation, his palms sweaty, trying to tamp down his hopes in case the similarities were just due to the overactive imagination of a ten year old and his soul which ached to see her once more. But today, almost a year to the day she'd left, Omkara Singh Oberoi was finally not to be disappointed.
The clearly reluctant young woman who was dragged through the doorway by an excited Parvati was as familiar to Omkara as himself. His eyes filled with happy tears as they met her startled ones and her name escaped his lips in a choked whisper
"Gauri..."
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