Can we stop and imagine the kind of mad swirling, roiling emotions going through Shivaay's head since Annika came back into his life?
The man was missing her so much, so miserable without her, not able to understand how things went south so fast and stayed there.
He had just realized he was in love, and was at that vulnerable stage between asking for and receiving love with Annika, still pretty confident that she was in it just as deeply as him. Then disaster struck and he's been lost in the fog since.
She came back, and poor chap came back out at least, even if in anger and arrogance, it was his attachment to her that was singularly glaring. He looks arrogant as heck but he's literally hanging around her.
Jealousy is a new thing to him. I think we realize now how irrational his jealousy is, as crazy & ridiculous and illogical as he looks, it's his love for her that is the message under all that.
He wants her back. He can't bear seeing her with another man, not even a touch or a smile or even being referred to as "made for each other" with him. The agitation is so boiling, he has been steadily losing control over himself since the time he himself announced this stupid wedding.
Everyone is attacking his weak spot, his jealousy. All over Annika. So even the vamp, Ragini , is using his love for Annika to take advantage of him. Pinky too calls it "obsession".
Shivaay loves Annika.
Everybody agrees. No doubt.
Yeah, I feel bad for him, under attack like this, but it doesn't mean I don't have issues with his behaviour with Annika.
The issue brought out today in force, was the lack of trust in Annika. Yes, he keeps saying he trusted her blindly before separation, but let's see in detail.
He trusted her to love him back. He trusted her to love and care for OmRu as much as he did. He trusted her to understand his love for his family, and love them as much. Did she do all that? Yes.
But if his family(mother) was against her? He chose his family in a few wrenching heart beats, and threw her away. Not a question, no benefit of doubt, no turning back. "She betrayed me, I dunno why, but she did".
When Prinku eloped with ACP, Pinky blamed Annika, he swallowed it whole, shouted at her, didn't believe her. Later, when sister pleaded her case, he realized Annika was the convenient scapegoat.
When he said sorry, she stopped him because she understood how he loves his family. And he loved her all the more for it.
He missed so many tense moments where Annika was tortured and troubled. Her out of character behaviour he missed completely, but OmRu picked it up and sussed the truth out.
Series of unfortunate events later, Shivaay handed her the worst rejection of her lifetime; by throwing divorce papers at her and pushing her out of the mansion and his life. Didn't stop to ask, he decided based on presented evidence and executed judgement.
Now he realized there's a secret, one ONLY HE DOESN'T KNOW. Some big sacrifice she made for him and refuses to say. This guy has an insane need to know. This is the guy who keeps the secrets and buries skeletons and protects the family, to have this one kept from him must be maddening.
So he forces Annika to spit it out. Asking nicely worked but backfired as he forgot it under bhaang. So he's cornering her and browbeating her using her love for him, denying his.
He knows she loves him, and every step he pushes her towards this farce of a wedding, he's getting more and more insecure with the thought of losing her.
Seeing his ring still on her finger jolted him. He realized she hasn't moved on at all. She is attached to their relationship as he is. Wrenching his ring off her finger and tossing at his feet was torture.
We saw the effect of that yesterday. That night , he used the dark to put it back on her because he knew she was so upset over it. It was a small reunion of sorts, realization that neither has moved on from the other. He held her in the dark, at that moment nothing mattered but that she needed him.
Problem is he still needed the truth. If he let the matter go, he thinks she will never tell him .Why I cannot fathom. It isn't actually mutually exclusive, her or the truth is it?
Notice how she gently called a truce, and he relented? A soft touch, a loving look, is all this grouchy jealous bunch of sour grapes needed to calm down and see sense. So happy, wedding was off and cancelling everything.
But insecurities persisted. Love hasn't been rekindled completely. Although she said clearly, she doesn't want the marriage, she's unhappy, she called it off, he is still on the fence over the unpredictability that is Annika.
Yes, she was telling Vikram she was calling it off, but he was busy judging their proximity. Watch how he's more possessive also, doesn't watch from afar, he actually goes up to her and demands her attention. I'm glad he held back from dragging her away, no barbaric behaviour.
But the idea of her throwing his ring away,is like her rejection of him again, goes back to the day of divorce when she rebuffed his proposal. That vulnerability returned.
He now thinks she wants to bring him to heel for throwing her out? Make him crawl to her and beg her to come back to him.
My God, his jealousy is worse than a woman's. Destructive and irrational. Turbulent and damaging. Last vestiges of his tadi before succumbing completely to Love.
For Annika, she was very hurt that he threw her out without even asking. But she had to do what she did, because she feared his destruction because of the secret. She didn't hold it against him, because she understood she may never be above his family to him. She had issues with him , but it was never about him trusting his mother over her.
Ragini now is a different matter altogether. She's a new entity in the equation, not family. If she were to spread lies to manipulate Shivaay against her, and for him to believe it, she will have grave issues with.
I'm so glad she lost her temper yesterday, and said clearly, "So now Ragini will also say something against me, and you will believe it?" Uh oh.
"So you will even believe that Ragini over me?"
double Uh oh.
"I'm tired of all this Shivaay. No matter what I do, you will never trust me. You will believe the worst of me. Fine, do whatever you want!"
Then it just went downhill from there. Weddings are double now, Ragini is suddenly the shameless bride for Shivaay. Shivaay refuses to ask Annika to please come back to him, instead will marry someone else.
Ow my head hurts.
Why is Annika staying put in this idiotic nonsense situation? Because she wants to trust him more than herself. That he will come through for her soon and stop her from leaving his life.
I really hope he does before Bhavya gives Gauri all the proof of Ragini's lies. Because by then , even on his knees he may not get her back...
Trust is a touchy thing between them. She deserved better than this from Shivaay. To be trusted over Ragini. We're not even talking about Pinky or the secret yet. Why should she tell it, if he doesn't even believe in her at all ?
Precap : Annika and Gauri lament that Shivaay is passively watching as mehndi functions went ahead, taking no actions. Shivaay fingers his ring thoughtfully.
I'm hoping flashbacks give him sleepless nights. Meanwhile cutest of cute Rikara are on damage control. I kinda trust Gauri and her savage cruel plans , plus when things get hairy , Om will pull out the truth.
I'm still waiting to see how Pinky is going to stop Annika from becoming Mrs. SSO again. Or if there is going to be a wedding at all.
Many are wishing those sneakers under her Neeta Lulla designer gold lehenga will be put to good use.
me, I hope Annika stops talking to Shivaay completely. So happy she finally lost her temper.
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