Daisies, Promises and Dilemma
The daisies in the background reminded her of the unsaid promises.
Though, knowingly or unknowingly, he had done what she had wanted and how she had appeared to want it. She had convinced herself of what is the best for the moment and that, even after everything they are not for each other- but the heart and brain dilemma was still omnipresent and that ate her up.
She checked the phone 100th time- no whatsapp texts since morning. Perhaps, what was there in past few months was just because he had time; not that she was a priority. And she had known it always, didn't she? She had promised herself that she'll always keep everything as a sacred memory for the time they were together was important than anything else. He had filled up the space of a best friend she always longed for.
It was time. She needed to complete the documents for the proposal. It was always a choice: either to let brain win and become emotionless or to let heart win and go through a certain things. She chose heart- brain would make her feel lifeless. Emotions felt normal now. His presence in her life had given her the small hope- that her shankarji would always take care of her- even when there was no one else.
The unsaid promises are always weird. They can be adhered to or not. And she had wanted that freedom didn't she. But life had taught her- how freedom comes at its own cost. She had all the freedom in the world that one can ask for- personally and professionally. Yet, it always put into the dilemma of choice between the heart and brain.
Funny, it is- when you don't have choices, you can easily blame others for your life or luck, as you please. But when you have them, perhaps, it becomes difficult to prioritize.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call and she poured out her anger on him.
"I thought to call you once I am free. Told you about the workshop, right?"
The life suddenly became normal as two hours passed once again discussing the same old things. Perhaps, the unsaid promises still are in place. And she needs to give it time till the destiny plays its role along with her decisions.
Cheers
Appy
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