Chapter #10
Another productive day behind her, Mehek secured the towel she had wrapped around her damp hair and headed for the kitchen for the small dish of kheer she had saved especially for this evening. Before settling on the love-seat she went and opened the drapes. On her way home, she had realized that with not a cloud in the sky to impede the twinkling stars, that this would be the perfect evening to view the nearby fireworks display. Although she had gotten used to the recurring rumbles that sounded nightly, she had yet to tire of the sparkling light displays, that enchanted her each time she took the time to view them. Pudding and fireworks were absolutely the order of the night.
After that, and if she felt prepared enough to deal with it, she would see what Mr. Shaurya Khanna had to say for himself.
She would turn on her computer first though, just in case any other important messages had come while she was gone, and in doing so, saw that the man was logged on already. She checked her watch and waited for a moment to see if he would reach out to her first, even though he was certain to have seen that she had yet to read his last message.
"Thik hai, Shaurya," she whispered when she understood that most likely he was waiting her to make the next move. Only out of consideration that he may already be in the office, did she deviate slightly from her plan, and access the message he had sent first.
...Trusting others has never been a strong suit of mine.
...But at one time, I wanted to believe in the possibility that there were those worth trusting.
He had inserted an image here: one of a younger Shaurya...minus the facial hair and most of the insolence. One could see in his eyes that he wasn't the hardened man back then, that he was now. His smile: so youthful, so optimistic was a true one. And it was evident that it shone solely for her: the woman he held in the side embrace, who looked as happy as he did, as she stared adoringly up at him. Her profile was instantly recognizable: Shruiti.
Mehek shook her head. The woman had no idea how lucky she was, to have known the unspoiled version of this man. She scanned further down to continue reading the message that had been sent to her.
...I wanted to believe: desperately.
...But life had other things in mind for me it seemed. Perhaps I wasn't deemed worthy enough. The pretender who had entered her world, who brought his faults that had made him less commendable in her eyes than the true son of the family.
Another photo posted: of his cousin Vicky applying vermillion to the hair line of the woman that Shaurya loved. Mehek studied the photo. Perhaps, she thought, to have kept both images for so long, he still did love her. She blinked and turned away from the image, drawn by the poignant tome Shaurya had been inclined to write.
...Had it been squarely for those reasons alone, conceivably I would have been better off, believing these to be faults that I could correct over time and overcome. However, this was not the case, for the woman who I considered my soulmate was too much like the man who adored her: industrious to a fault. Only her path was for immediate wealth and the easier the path the better. And what better way would there be than to lay claim to the heir presumptive, and avoid the struggle she would have by choosing the cocky upstart?
...Imagine her surprise when things were not as they appeared at first glance. How prettily she pleaded for forgiveness, for the renewal of our association: it was love after all, and I had given her my heart to her keeping. Fool that I was, I had not even asked for its return as in my naivety I believed it was with her it belonged. My declaration seemed a prison sentence for so long, but it turned out when it came to the crunch, that even the scruffy orphan had a moral code.
...It was a painful lesson and one not forgotten. She wasn't the last woman in my life, but I was prepared the next time, and the times thereafter. Women became commodities, and I was under no illusion that any one was more estimable than any other. I was callous, and cruel and although I'm sure that one or two good ones may have been hurt in the fray: that was not my problem. It was simply the risk they would take being associated with Shaurya Khanna.
... I've been called heartless, more often than not, but it never affected me to any extent. It was my truth. In a harsh world, who needed a heart? In my mind, it was gone and good riddance. Surely, that was a good thing, for without the superfluous emotion associated with the damnable organ, there would be no risk of a repeat of the pain it can bring.
...A more damaged man there probably has never been.
...Nor a man more wrong.
...It may have hardened, but it seems my heart has been here all along...functioning and yet dormant. Waiting for one it deemed worth beating for again...
...Someone like you.
The spoon Mehek had stilled, half-way to her mouth slipped out of her suddenly flaccid grip, splattering her with the kheer she had been eating. Instead of jumping up to attend the mess to her night-clothes, her eyes frantically re-scanned the words she had just read. Her mouth fell ajar at the implications of what was being relayed to her. She swallowed and then braved herself to continue reading.
...And even though I cannot imagine a more illogical position to find myself in, there is no doubt in my mind how I feel.
...I guess after such a lengthy disconnect it was unrealistic to assume my head would automatically be in alignment with such a fallow heart, but that still doesn't excuse what I've done. One would expect an older, a more experienced Shaurya Khanna would at least be wise enough to see the situation for what it was, and not view your decision through the green colored lenses reserved for only the most juvenile. Clearly, I remain a work in progress.
...The truth is that I hurt you with my misplaced anger and probably worst in my careless disregard of your character, when I should have absolutely known better. I probably can never express properly, how sorry I am, but I am in a position where I must try. For the simple fact that I am not willing to lose what I've never had with anyone else.
...Forgive me, MS.
**********
It had been taken almost twenty-four hours for the message status to finally change to seen.
Seated behind his desk, Shaurya closed his eyes and exhaled. Okay, he thought, the first bridge had been crossed. Whatever would happen next would be completely up to her. He felt prepared for any possibility, but any course of action would be predicated on her response, should there even be one.
She wouldn't disappoint him.
**Ping**
She asked for ten minutes, giving Shaurya the opportunity to raise Hina on the intercom to confirm his unavailability until he was scheduled to meet with Rajiv in forty-five minutes. He would apprise her of any difference.
It had taken Mehek all of two minutes to clean up the mess she had made, but she took full advantage of the time she had requested attempting to come up with the right words by which to end whatever this was between them. Things had gone too far.
By no stretch of the imagination was this supposed to happen. At the most she had hoped to encourage some introspection on his part, and possibly wring out an apology out of the man, but not anything else. She had been audacious in thinking even that could be accomplished without any fallout. And who was she to even think that she had any right to insist on this? When it came down to it, all she had achieved was that she had positioned herself to inflict even more pain on a man who had suffered so much in his life. Despite all he had done, even he didn't deserve the agony her deceit would bring. A clean break was the only choice.
...I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore, it's wrong on so many levels.
...Aacha, is this the leadup to the great reveal that I have been cat-fished and you are really a man?
...I'm not joking Shaurya. I shouldn't have forced you into this. I had no right to intrude in your life as deeply as I have, and trust me this certainly wasn't a ploy to trap you in any way.
...That is not how this works, MS. You cannot jump to any conclusion before working through what has been presented. Ask what needs must, and then we will make the call as what to do next.
... No, Shaurya, we aren't doing this.
... Come on Dost
...Fine: one last time, and then that's it.
... Do you still love her?
...Who?
... 😡
... Shruti..my Bhabhi...no. Not for some time. Indifference would probably a more apt description now.
...And yet even today, she forms the basis by which you judge and condemn every single woman who enters your life.
He was inactive for a while, and Mehek wondered if he was thinking on what she had written, and if this was the first time he had recognized the connection between his past and how it dictated his actions.
...Yes, and in a few instances, it was wrong of me to do so. Most particularly as it pertained to you.
...You've kept photos of her. Would I be correct in guessing that these aren't the only ones, Shaurya?
He read her new message with a smirk. She had determined not to touch on the point of his last message that had alluded to her. He would allow this for now, but she wouldn't get away with avoiding the subject for long. He typed his response to her.
...There are a few them in my possession.
... Why? For what reason, would you have kept these photos whose existence can only bring you pain?
...They served a purpose.
...But now that you have reached the heights of success that you felt you would need to prove your worthiness, why have you kept them? I can't imagine that they bring you any happiness.
Shaurya sat up a little straighter in his chair, amazed at how perceptive she was.
...Get rid of them, Shaurya. What's the use of keeping mementoes of such an agonizing time? They serve no purpose, but to drag you back to a bleaker period of your life. At least consider it.
...Oh and perhaps in the future it would be best not to paint everyone with the same brush as her. It would be better for everyone involved.
When she finished typing her sermon, she sat back in her chair. To say anything more on this subject would be redundant, now that, she had, at last, the answers she had been seeking. She recalled specifically, at the very beginning of ISC when she had inadvertently entered his room, catching him barely decent, and the misconstrued encounter that had ensued. It had set them at completely at odds, but in hindsight, now knowing his story, what Shaurya had presumed made all the sense in the world. The admission of guilt she had yearned from him seemed frivolous in comparison to everything he had gone through. If anything, it only served to make what she felt she had no alternative but do, particularly unpalpable. However, it would be no worse than him continuing to toil under the illusion she had brought about by not identifying herself when she first had the opportunity. He would truly hate her once he found out.
...MS, my words were in no way meant to evoke your sympathy, but as you look determined to use them as the premise to take a regrettable step, I'm afraid I am going to have to take the reins for a bit. Since you have chosen to ignore then, here are a few areas of focus. Of course complete candor from both of us is expected:
...I accept my mistake; will you accept my apology?
...My feelings for you.
...Your feelings for me.
...Nothing in your message referenced my feelings towards you.
...Aacha, in that case considered the topic tabled.
...Apology accepted. And I am not under any obligation to answer anything else.
She sent that and then realized how abrupt it read. When it looked as if he was prepared to play a waiting game, she continued.
...I mean, your attitude was hurtful, and totally unwarranted, but I understand now, how my dinner with Malik must have seemed to you. So, yes, I do accept your apology.
...You do realize that, in stating this, that you are acknowledging my feelings. Feelings that I can assure you that I haven't been trapped into having.
...But still feelings built on the supposition that you will be happy knowing who I really am. And I am not so sure you will be.
...There is a very simple solution to that MS.
Mehek clenched one hand in hesitation for a moment.
... And the less painful option would be to end this now, while we can.
...Less painful for whom? For me: for you or for both of us?
...You have suffered so much already, Shaurya. I don't want to add to it, any more than necessary.
...What a deviant you must be MS; even worse than me. Thik hai. Let's say we let you have get your way. Will you miss me, Dost?
Raidio-silence.
He took advantage of her hesitation and pounced.
...Never mind, I don't require an answer since you've provided it already. You will. That you are so concerned about causing me pain, speaks volumes to the truth that you care; which leads me to believe that you have feelings for me as well, even in some small measure. So that clears that, we can put that topic to rest.
...Compassion, that's all it is.
...Hmm a good try, but that is something extremely difficult to have if you truly dislike a person. So, based on this theory, if you have worked through a genuine distaste of a man, to now actually liking him enough to worry about his feeling, why couldn't I, in turn do the same? Aside from the argument that I am the truly damaged soul you believe me to be, will the admission of your identity be as traumatic as you believe?
She had no ready answer, knowing only that theirs was a completely untenable situation. She could only fall back on her original stance.
...Ending it will be best, trust me, Shaurya.
... Just like that, with no explanation on your end? Thik hai, if you insist. We end it now.
... Just be certain you know what you want MS. And exactly what you will be setting in motion in getting your way. You are effectively pushing away a single-minded, grasping man who sees in you, something he feels missing in his life, and releasing him from all the constraints that were previously agreed upon. All bets will be off then, and you can expect a face-to-face very soon.
...Oh ho, so now the real Shaurya emerges. The one who threatens others to get his own way.
...Nahi, just stating facts Dost. And how's this for another: You are wrong and acting the coward.
...You have come across something that makes you uncomfortable and now you want to turn tail and run. If I am expected to face my truth, shouldn't you as well MS? Besides, did you really think my nature would change, that I wouldn't take the necessary recourse should we go our separate ways prematurely? Shaurya Khanna and your KK are one and the same, Dost, it would be best to remember that.
...Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
She typed the insult, but had to admit that something about his steadiness in the situation was reassuring, which was frankly beyond her understanding right now.
...Aacha, and whom pray tell is the angel in your case MS? Am I chatting to her or is the real treasure your alter ego?
He didn't wait for her to answer a question that may unsettle her any more than she was.
...Just stay the course and let's see this through to a proper conclusion, for both of us.
...Well if we do, I am forewarning, your bullying nature will more than likely be our next topic for discussion, Shaurya Khanna.
He grinned at last. He was certain she still had her doubts, but the immediate crisis looked to have been averted.
... You call it bullying, I call it being persuasive. Either way a man does what he must when the need arises. But more importantly than this, an honorable man keeps his word. My public persona may not necessary reveal it, but I take my word seriously, and I promise, I am not asking you for anything more than you willing to offer. My admission was not meant to place any undue pressure on you to reciprocate. I was just stating the facts I felt needed to be disclosed, in hopes that you would understand me a bit better, and why I acted as I did. And I assure you, your reveal will be of your doing. You will be my MS until you feel it the right time.
...Thank you.
... I must go now. I wish I didn't have too, but duty calls, and I expect you will need to take rest soon anyway. I'm glad we had this time.
...Good Night Dost.
**********
Mehek signed off, a little less unsure, but still worried over how it all would play out. She wanted to believe in his words, but couldn't deny her trepidation. She stood up and went towards her window and stared out at the darkness. She closed her eyes and spoke a quiet litany, desperately seeking some reassurance that what she was doing wasn't wrong, and wouldn't turn out badly for either of them.
"Please God just give me one sign," she whispered.
The explosive bang that drowned out the ping of an incoming message, brought a smile to her face. Snapping her eyes open so that she wouldn't miss and instant of the light show, she was taken aback when straight ahead a cluster of red exploded and proved the embodiment of her appeal when it took on a shape which suspiciously looked like a heart shining against a black velvet sky.
***********
With seconds to spare, Shaurya scanned over their conversation, committing it to memory. He smiled, contemplating that surely, they would one day rid themselves of the distance between them and finally come face to face. Then he thought, there would be no need for things like the virtual roses he was resigned to send in lieu of the real thing.
"A virtual bouquet for my dost, until I am able to send the real thing," he captioned the image, before sending it.
"I confess to being extremely anxious to finally meet your someone special, Shaurya."
Startled to have been caught unawares, Shaurya looked up, his cheeks slightly ruddier than they had been seconds before.
"Namaste Bhai, how are you?"
Rajiv to a seat across from the younger man. He smirked at him. "Obviously not as content as you Shaurya. All, is well I gather?"
"Indeed, and you," Shaurya asked his partner as he reverted to the business at hand. With one final smile, he logged off the social site, and pulled up the latest data he and Rajiv had to discuss.
"Bhai, before we get on to reviewing the latest sales for the restaurant, tell me: have you had any feedback from Mehek Sharma in regards to the making an appearance on ISC?"
"With all the activities in scheduling this season non-studio shoots, I hadn't the opportunity to reach out to her. But I managed to shoot her an email, just before I came to you, so I have every hope that she will have responded by the time we next meet with the station."
Shaurya looked up in confusion. "Email? A telephone call wouldn't have sufficed?"
Opposite the eagle-eyed hotelier, Rajiv schooled his expressions, disbelieving that he had dropped the ball so easily.
Haan Shaurya, an email. She is out of town for a while. Should we go over the report now?"
"Fair enough," the younger man shrugged, before turning back to his perusal of the file they would discuss. "Let me know her answer when you do hear from her, okay?"
Chapter11
Edited by crtkelly - 8 years ago
DO NOT COPY THIS POST AS THIS IS EXCLUSIVE TO INDIA FORUMS
my favourite!! Handsome you have hope 😳
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
