Just not able to hate Dev!!

I am sure a lot people are going to hate me for this post

He slapped his father in law ( I dont think it was an accident ) ...is it justified ??...A BIG NO!! Its never justified to hit some one in a fit of anger.

So why is that Dev never been able to control his temper , when someone speaks about his mother/or her upbringing...?? Is it upbringing ?? Does he need help to have a balanced approach when faced with personal problems?

When he gets angry he throws things, hits someone ...impulsive reactions rt?? Was this a part of his character? Yes !! it is and has always been a part of his character...how do we know? If you remember in one of the initial episodes ,when his school teacher comes to visit him he says,' Dev as a child used to fight at the drop of a pin ' and he asks Sonakshi if Dev fights with her similarly...We have seen how Dev reacts to Khathri...we have seen how he breaks her phone in fit of anger...we have seen how he behaved after the break up.

But When he finds out his mom is the one who sent Ritwicks proposal to Sona's house he was angry but he controlled ...he hugs his mom and walks away crying ...

Having said that , in today's episode , he fought with Sona, vigorously ... he was loosing his cool..he threw the suitcase...but he never raised his hand on her . Even while he was fighting ,when he saw she got hurt on her leg he goes to her and says it matters when she is hurt...and when he realises that he will not be able to silence her ...instead of hitting her , he kisses her passionately and hugs her...her warmth cools him down..here anger is converted into affection...

In both the above cases , he didnt not raise his hand...Sadly that was not the case when his father in law got angry with him and his mother...he just couldnt control...and he hits him ( Not at all justified )

What do we understand from this behaviour of Dev ?

He has never been able to accept anyone from Sona's family as his own...for him, Sona's family is not part of people who he considers close to him...Does he love Sona...yes!!...but does he understand this love for her?? I dont think so ...how do we know this? his todays dialogue that he told in his fit of anger ..."you dont know how it feels for a guy when a total stranger becomes so important ...that with out her it becomes diff to eat , sleep or live"..this clearly shows he is still figuring out their relationship.

But sona on the other hand have heard enough taunts from his family and many a times been belittled but she never raised her hand on any of his family members. Does she love Dev...yes!! ...but does she understand this love for him ?? Yes and hence she is able to be patient with his side of the family...and accept them as her own!!

Why is Dev not being able to understand that change in him or finding it diff to accept the new found love and happiness in his wife?? Here is where upbringing comes into picture...he is been taught ONLY TO LOVE HIS MOTHER and NO ONE ELSE ...but after Sona walks into his life...he falls head over heals in love with her ..he finds that inner peace when with her...he feels free ..he wants to enjoy this freedom but he is hesitant ...as Sona is a stranger...

( Let us go back a lil here...remember the scene in which Ishwari says Sona is an outsider and stranger. you shouldnt discuss personal stuff with her...and then ...we get the scene with him taking the weights and he was about to discuss Neha's issue then he stops thinking what his mom told..though his heart wanted him to tell her his toughts)

Even though he loves Sona , this conflict is what makes Dev not able to be close to Sona and her family...This conflict is seen in some newly married people...especially single children...primarily because MILs consider DILs to be outsiders /strangers...they dont allow their son's to accept his wife as a family...and eventually this conflict will destroy the peace of the family...and backfire on the mother most of the time...because Son's will decide to stay separately.

As mothers of sons we need to teach our boys to love and respect all because that is our duty and also make him understand others pain and misery too... Bad grooming and selfish upbringing can only bring misery to family . Look at Ishwari , her selfishness is taking a toll on her and on her family ...but sadly she doesnt understand...One by one her kids are going to face problems in life ..Today her Son lost his image in front of his wife ..how much more can he fall?? All because of selfish upbringing !!

This is why I said I am not able to hate Dev!!

Great Post

You are entitled to your opinion. And no one should hate you or bash you for it.

I like what you're saying but at the end of the day it's a show. After so many episodes if they do not show any growth in the characters & in some regression then it becomes difficult to accept it. People start getting bored & frustrated.

I liked today's episode since I hope it will lead to a change in the dynamics & few things might happens pushing the story forward. Hard to say though because of late the cvs have been disappointing us!

Of course ishwari is the root cause of the problems in dev. But dev cannot be pardoned completely from his actions. Yes the basic characteristics of him are from ishwari and there is 100% flaws in her upbringing but when a child grows up he himself decides his course of actions. Dev hasnt been able to do that whether due to ishwari or his obsession with ishu or this disinterest towards outsiders altogether. So if dev has not been able to accept sona's family then why fall in love with sona, that was not dev's upbringing???? No it happened similarly dev need to accept and love sona's family as his own otherwise he will have no right to even want sona to consider dixits as her own.

All the points are valid. But I want to add something, growing up our parents' upbringing is key. And as mentioned Dev did not have a great one. But like others said Dev must take a stance on his life as well, here is where I will deviate. As much as we are taught by parents and teachers the environment is key as well. He has only seen evil characters other than his family as a child (flashback scenes), physiological it causes him to be platonic and naive. To him, his mother is the only good light he has seen in the world of bad and will blindly follow as he is accustomed to that. It's like a bad habit, it won't go overnight but the mere noticing of it is itself growth. I don't Dev has full on noticed it yet, but is starting to see something (food/wine scene). Furthermore, his mom never let him play or make friends. Do y'all remember that one cricket scene, when she makes him feel guilty for playing? It caused him to be in a 'mother knows best' syndrome (like Rapunzel). In this type of stress of not doing what you want to, he can only lie to get some solace. (Sonakshi's case) Dev is NOT justified in what he did, but has he been given the opportunity to do something else?
Sorry if I hurt anyone, tomatoes accepted! 😃

Originally posted by: tia.o

You are entitled to your opinion. And no one should hate you or bash you for it.

But I'd like to point out one thing for you to consider.

Say an orthodox family teaches his son that women are object for him to use.

If he bullies little girls as a child, he gets pardon.

But if he bullies or eve-teases young women as an adult, do you think anyone would try to go back to his upbringing and try to find reasons for his action?

Take for example recent incidents. Did you feel sorry for those guys who molested women on the street thinking poor things didn't get good upbringing?

Parents' job ends at some point. Then an adult is responsible for his own action. We can blame Ishwari. But lion's share of blame belongs to Dev who kept lying to get the girl - to the girl, to his family, to her family. How is that even love?

I am sure Ishwari didn't teach him to lie to his family. But he lied to them.

She also didn't teach him to love, but he fell in love.

So either he is mindless puppet who follows Ishwari's teaching to a "T" and never veers from her teaching or he does veers from her teaching when it's for his convenience and hence is responsible for his actions.

However, you can feel what you want for whichever character. I just wanted to give you something to chew on.

But I do agree that mothers should raise their son like they raise their daughters.

@BOLD...those are the two main points ...that I think is causing these issues...not at all supporting him...trying to analyse how child turns out to be so hopeless in his personal lives that he cant see the misery of any one other than his mother!!

Well I am able to hate Dev. Dev, despite being a grownass man, doesn't have his own identity. His lameass sorry is not gonna work on me. Accident my foot, it was QUITE intentional and how !!

I am of the opinion that your upbringing and struggles can't justify the crimes u commit. It's like pardoning Rape in view of the culprit sorry state.

'But the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands' - This line suits Dev.Now he is not a kid he is an adult.He should use is own brain n act.We cannot blame Ishwari for Dev's action.Yes Ish upbringing was bad.But once he grown as a man.He can differentiate what is right n wrong.Which Dev failed to do.He has double standards when comes to his family.Especially the Stranger dialogue was in bad taste.So I am also able o hate Dev for the things he did.His actions cannot be justified under bad upbringing.If we follow this principle in real life.All rapist,criminals,murders etc., can be justified using the same theory.Bad upbringing.