2.9 Mask I
"You should not have used Sahil."
The words hung in the air as everyone slowly let that sink in.
There was calmness in her voice that shocked her. Deep within her, she knew he could never do anything close to what he was threatening...but there was this crazed look in his eyes that day that had left her completely disarmed.
His eyes were screaming a million accusations at her and she wasn't prepared to deal with anything that had come after.
But even then, how could he have manipulated her like that? And to have used the one weakness that she had?
No - that wasn't the same man who had held her in her home when she had been stalked last week. But who was this man now?
So many questions - again?
Tej Singh Oberoi looked away - he had known something like this was coming.
Pinky and Shakti both looked too shocked to react.
Could this be true?
Daadi looked completely ashen-faced and she slowly backed into Priyanka and Saumya -who were both obviously startled... but shook themselves out of their shock to support her weight.
Jhanvi took a step back - almost like someone had slapped her.
Shivaay was her pride - and for him to have actually fallen so low as to think of using a child as a pawn in some kind of a game?
However the blow that actually dealt the worse blow for Shivaay came from one that he was almost sadistically expecting. But just because he knew it was coming did not mean that it made the blow any less lethal.
For really Shivaay Singh Oberoi could stand through anything - but he couldn't bear hatred or indifference towards himself from his brothers.
So when he felt more than saw Omkara walk towards him - his eyes burning with a fire that he had never seen before - he felt the knife in his chest twist so painfully that he almost felt that he couldn't stand anymore.
However as each realization of the reality of his choices dawned on him - first the horror for having used not just a kid - but a physically challenged kid, then the easy manipulation from someone he thought he had known all his life - and the almost burning reality that despite every single thing that he had put her through, she still loved him - his resolve to protect each of them from his own anguish burned even stronger.
Because really (selfishly) he knew he could even survive his brothers' hatred when it came down to it...but he could never survive knowing that they were hurting twice-fold - one for his actions and second for witnessing his own torment. And he would prefer a million deaths before he let anything - especially himself be the reason behind his brothers' suffering.
So carefully - deliberately - he ensured that the mask that he had learnt to perfection through years of practice was firmly in place.
Omkara had walked right up to Shivaay and stared him right in the face as he said, slowly, as if each word he said was actually weighing heavily on his own shoulders - "Is this true?"
And Annika could only look on as brother stood up against another brother.
As for Shivaay himself, he just stared back at Om - almost willing him to understand what he couldn't speak aloud.
Rudra looked like he had just been dragged into a haunted house - and for a moment Annika actually felt her own heart go out to them.
She never wanted to hurt them. None of them... not even him.
But she had had enough of him? Just because someone didn't have an Oberoi' for a last name did not automatically mean that they were beneath him and he could do whatever the hell he pleased with them - make their decisions for them and leave them dealing with each consequence of it?
And to actually think to even include a child in such a game - why couldn't he just have kept it between them? How dare he even bring Sahil into his stupid game?
Yet when she had broken down - for a moment that crazed look in his eyes had wavered to her favorite midnight blue - assuring her that he was actually okay - he had (again) held her as she succumbed to the momentary pain that had completely paralyzed her when she had thought - no -
He had broken her heart... yet she felt her own heart ache alongside him even as she served the actual blow on him. Even as she felt tormented enough - this pain - this pain of seeing him break as his brother questioned him - burned her worse than it had that night.
Moments ticked, and the only sound in the room was that of the huge clock on the wall adjacent to the bed.
After what seemed like a century, it seemed like Omkara had gotten the answer he was searching for from his silence - because he then turned absolutely stiff and said - "you had to prove that you were more Tej Singh Oberoi's nephew then my brother didn't you?"
It wasn't the words as much as it was actually Omkara's tone. There was a dark coldness in his tone that chilled her right to the bone.
And then she felt as three hearts broke along with hers - because each of the three brothers' were so intricately connected that it didn't matter which one you hurt - it would be all three who would suffer the pain.
The words were so sharp that each seemed to have landed another slap on Shivaay's face.
She could see that those words from his brother were actually worse than anything she could have done to him, because his mask slipped.
And again she was startled at the amount of anguish and torment that he had been hiding. And a small part of her ached even then...
What was this?
It seemed as if neither could they live without not hurting one another... and neither could they live with hurting one another without hurting themselves even more?
But Shivaay did not even try to defend himself - he let each word sting him - and he struggled to pull up that mask again.
And that's when she knew what that meant.
And the realization floored her.
The mask was a shield
Yes... it was a shield to protect them from knowing how hurt he was - he was shielding them from himself?
And for a moment she marveled at that for a moment
Why did this man have to be so frustratingly confusing?
He was definitely not a hero - and yet he was also not the villain? Because someone who could love their family this much could never be truly evil?
But then why would he do all this? If it was all just about protecting his family's name in front of the world - but why did his eyes have those blazing accusations? Why did the look in his eyes tell her of the haunted hollowness that was even burning him while he was breaking her?
Rudra had now come and stood between both the brothers. And for a moment Anika truly regretted telling them the truth - because each blow (here and now) hurt her more than his actions had that day.
He had broken her.
Yet, each broken piece of her heart ached only for him.
And as that feeling settled in too - she realized just how deeply in this she had already fallen. Wasn't it enough that she wanted to protect him even after everything he had done? But now she couldn't even bear the thought of anything hurting anyone in his family too?
Even if that meant that she had to pay the cost of her own sanity? Probably even her self -respect? The same self-respect that she had worn so proudly from the moment she had learnt to fight for herself?
She slowly started backing away.
She wanted to run away.
She wanted to scream.
She wanted to clutch his collar and break down again. But more than that she wanted to run into his arms. She wanted to be enveloped in his arms again - to feel like there could be nothing in this world that could harm her whilst he was with her.
And she wanted to cry harder now.
And each tear that she felt built up in her eyes stood witness to her torment.
How could she still love him?
How could this even be love?
When did her own heart start beating more for him then for her?
How could she still feel safe in his arms when he had carefully admitted that he had simply broken her because he knew he could?
She had given him her trust and with that her love gift-wrapped...and all he had done was trample all over her heart as cruelly as humanely possible - so why did she still feel her heartbeats beat louder as soon as she felt him close to her? Why did she lose track of all her thoughts as soon as she looked into his beautifully fascinating color-changing eyes?
And each question tore her heart into even more pieces, if that was even possible anymore?
She felt herself staring into the deepest sapphire blue orbs even and for a moment everything else ceased to matter.
Maybe in another life - maybe in another time...
She felt her feet dragging her backwards now - but each step that she now took backwards was matched by his forward step... and her breathing hitched before turning dangerously shallow
No Annika... there are never maybe's in life - you know this...
She struggled to breathe as she continued to fight herself. But he was advancing slowly as well - each step measuring to her perfectly.
Was this another game?
However, their game or whatever this was, was interrupted when daadi had finally straightened up and said - "Enough"
Annika felt herself looking up - startled at that. She had forgotten that they were actually surrounded by his family.
"Billu - you should have killed me before this day"
Annika carefully observed Shivaay - having learnt a new trick - learning to read his eyes because he was obviously too skilled when it came to wearing the absolutely unreadable mask.
The blue in his eyes had completely disappeared again - in a matter of a fraction of seconds? And the grey turned just a tad bit darker she noted with startling accuracy.
Why do I find this so fascinating?
Why do his eyes render me so absolutely speechless?
Why do I feel like I am drowning in those colors? And why do I feel like I want to know every single color that those eyes can possibly change into?
The questions echoed in her mind - but she refused to bow down to them now.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
Tej, Jhanvi, Shakti, and Pinky each let out a small gasp... this was the first time that daadi had ever spoken like that to her oldest grandson it seemed - probably the first time daadi had ever said anything like this actually.
"But now that you have done what you have done - Annika - you can give us any punishment that you decide is appropriate enough -"
But she couldn't let daadi finish - never in her wildest imagination she had ever thought that daadi would apologize for him
No... No... No...this was wrong
Annika felt herself instantly rushing to hold daadi's joined hands... and she felt her own tears flow freely now seeing someone as strong and as proud as daadi breaking down in front of her - "Daadi - yeh aap kya keh rahi hai? Bade bachon ko sirf ashirwad dete hai - unse maafi kabhi nahi maangte"
She felt more than actually heard Shivaay's breathing hitch for a second.
But before things could actually turn any worse, it turned out that it would actually be Priyanka who would be delivering the next shock - "Bha- Bhabhi?"
Annika was for a moment too shocked to react.
Surely she had not heard it right? Of course this had to be a mistake
Rudra was the first one to actually react and Annika was immediately enveloped in a hug that was so tight and so full of warmth that she felt her heart almost fill with the seeping warmth...
"Bhabhi!!!"
Rudra's hesitant whisper brought her crashing back.
No! No! NO! This couldn't be happening - this was a mistake... this was completely -
She lifted her face and looked at Shivaay - who (mercifully) mirrored her shock it seemed.
Well at least this we agree on -
But it seemed that Rudra would not be so easily tamed because there was just too much happiness on his face despite the previous heartbreak that Annika truly couldn't find it in her to deny him anything then.
Sahil and Rudra are going to make one pair
NO! NO PAIR - this is not happening.
Where has this come from?
But before she could actually respond to him, Pinky was walking towards her son in a trance. "Shiv-aay?"
The hesitancy in her voice matched the unshed tears in her eyes. There were red rims around her eyes as pulled on his arm to get him to look at her.
"What did Annika mean Shivaay? Tell me this is no true. Tell me that this girl is lying Shivaay."
Her voice broke in a dry sob as she finished her questions.
Annika had never known a mother's love - but she had seen Sahil's mom shower him with love when Sahil was not more than a toddler. She had seen the overflowing unconditional love and she remembered yearning for that - so she felt her own breath hitch as she saw Pinky aunty's heart break.
And this was all because of her in a way.
Om was now slowly backing away from Shivaay as if even being near him was burning him.
Rudra was actually holding her hand - and she could feel his hands cold and sweaty - something she knew happened only when the fear closest to your heart starts becoming a reality in front of you. She knew this because this was exactly how she felt her hands turn first cold and then slightly sweaty when she felt herself alone in the darkness.
"I used to feel privileged that I was the mother - that this was my Shivaay - par aaj - aaj mujhe duniya se ankh milane mein sharam aarahi hai Shivaay."
This brought Annika back.
She needed to get away from here.
Not wanting to hurt any of them, she hesitantly whispered - "I should leave - Sahil..."
But before she could turn around Rudra who was still standing right next to her made what could only be described as the most adorable puppy-face that she had ever seen - "Please stay - at least for tonight - I really want to get to know Sahil more -"
She noticed the slight way in which he was deliberately facing away from Shivaay and her heart clenched again - painfully.
"This is my chance to actually have a younger guy in the house - pleaseee-"
Annika narrowed her eyes lightly at that. Having an eight year old for a brother really did teach you everything about innocent' manipulation.
But before she could respond, daadi had obviously decided to use the age-old emotional blackmail material that every elderly person seemed to have been preparing to learn ever since they turn sixty-five it seemed. "Annika - if you truly meant it when you called me daadi then you will stay back till we all have had a chance to really think about things"
Annika almost rolled her eyes at that.
Daadi really was anything but subtle now was she? And what was there to think about? She had her answers now -
Jhanvi shifted slightly uncomfortably before saying something that truly touched Annika in more ways then she could ever express - "Annika - since the decision about the marriage was not really a decision that was made by you - now - the decision and conditions of the way forward in all fairness should be only yours...but really it would make it a whole lot both safer and easier on all of us if you would please consider leaving here - in whatever way you would like."
Annika found her eyes slightly moistened even as she turned to look towards Shivaay again.
Is this what it felt like to have a family? Acceptance of one another despite all circumstances... Did this feel like a mother's love?
His eyes looked surprisingly softened - almost pleading. And she felt herself being pulled into those depths again - but she shook herself a little stiffly.
But before she could find the words to both convey her gratitude to be given so much respect and then say no without hurting anyone's feelings - she heard her brother call her from outside the room.
"Annika didi -"
She turned reflexively as soon as she heard him - "Ha Sahil?"
"Didi can we go home please? I am hungry-" The little whining tone made her melt as she smiled instantly.
But before she could reply Shivaay had evidently woken up from his zombie state and brushed past everyone and was almost instantly at Sahil's side.
He bent down on one knee to level with him and ask with softness that she had never thought he had in him.
But it was actually sounding more familiar - yes... this was the same tone that she had heard him use with only his brothers and Priyanka.
It was gentle - indulging as well as protective.
She took in sharp breath as he indulgently asked - "What would you like to eat?"
Sahil raised an eyebrow at this too. And Annika could almost hear the wheels churning in his mind as he weighed the pros and cons of this offer.
And she couldn't help the smile that was forming on her face - Sahil really was such an adorable bundle of happiness.
So she knew his answer before he had actually said it.
"Why? Are you going to make me something?"
It seemed that the gorgeous blue-eyed absolutely confusing person (read monster) who now happened to also be her husband (forced husband) also knew a thing or two about kids because he too seemed that he had predicted this question.
So his answer too seemed to be perfectly rehearsed.
"Absolutely"
Sahil was stunned - but then he had a knowing look on his face, as he looked between first him and then her.
"Aloo Puri"
She couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her then as Shivaay looked momentarily speechless.
Within seconds, barring Omkara (who also had a reluctant grin) and Pinky aunty - everyone had joined in in her merriment.
Apparently proud of himself, Sahil raised a questioning eyebrow at Shivaay.
Annika almost dissolved into another fit of chuckles then when Shivaay almost looked too stunned for words at what could only be described as a perfect imitation of one of signature styles.
She almost missed it, but she could swear that she heard him grumble something along the lines of "of course - bilkul apni behen pe gaya hai"
But Sahil wasn't done yet.
"Aap aisehi tadi maar rahe the ki actually aloo puri banane wale hai?"
Rudra was now hanging onto Omkara for support while laughing and Annika discretely saw both Omkara and Tej uncle turn the chuckle into a cough.
But not once did Omkara's eyes reflect the happiness that he felt. And this melted her defenses. No - she had to make this right somehow.
Priyanka, Daadi, Saumya and Pinky aunty were openly gaping while Jhanvi aunty looked like she was biting back her laughter.
But even there - there was a gnawing sorrow that hurt her.
Shivaay fumbled slightly when he seemed to have gathered back some ounce of his wits back. "ha - no - I mean of course - there is nothing that Shivaay Singh Oberoi cannot do"
Annika rolled her eyes at that.
"Matlab jaan jaye par akad na jaye bande ki"
Rudra's hand was still holding on to her and she felt him biting back the snicker than she knew he wanted to express out loud - ah ha... so this could be the starting point.
"Ha?"
"Nahi - Kuch nahi - aap aloo puri banane wale hai?"
"Hmm? I mean - ha - koi shaq?"
But before she could reply again - Sahil had started tapping on Shivaay's shoulder. "Aap tadi baad mein maarlena, mujhe aaj khaana hai"
"Hmm? Ha - I mean - chalo"
Annika yet again, she couldn't quite contain the slight instinctive reflex that she had instantly felt when Shivaay had winced slightly while getting up and hitting his injured hand on the edge of the door.
Meltingly soft midnight blue eyes met honey brown and for a second Annika swore that the Earth had stopped moving.
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2.10 Aloo Puri
Edited by LilyJames0194 - 8 years ago
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