gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
Today I was saddened to even read the WU . I have been so attached to this show and thru which I have met amazing folks.
All I could think of when I read the WU is that Dev is travelling on a Road to Nowhere.

The chinese philosopher Xun Zi wrote 'The person attempting to travel two roads at the same time will get nowhere'.

Here Dev wants to travel on two roads one to make his mother happy and second to make Sona happy in exactly that order. But instead of making both of them happy he is going to dissapoint both of them and create unhappiness because the road to happiness in life is pretty straightforward there may be twists and turns but in order to be happy you need to be truthful to yourself and to the relationships that you have built around you.

As I see it now the two roads he is trying to travel at the same time is an impossible mission unless by some miracle they meet at point

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pkbdas61 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
great post.. Agree with you completely.

Dev is a "still water runs deep" type (in his words complicated) person. The real him is known to only Sona, especially in the courting days. his real human face, with all the range of emotions, his likes and dislikes.. The not so real him is with Ishwari (his god), he is just the person who bears all the responsibilities of the home. Dev is different when it comes to Sona and Ishwari. he exhibits two different persona's. It is just like most of us .. when we are unguarded, we are ourselves and when we are in front of someone who has an aura, we are different.. more guarded.

Sona was not like that.. but she is trying to become like that.. she was forthright, outspoken... the same before anyone.. but now in the Dixit house, she is doing exactly what most Dixits are .. two faced personalities. I think even Sona has begun to look on Ishwari as god.. for Dev's sake..and it is just not working.

the two faced approach is never going to work in relationships. Never..

Then we hardly get to see Sona and Dev spend time like husband and wife.. Trust, faith, loyalty... all gets built up only when a couple spend time together..
Shaavi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3

I would like to relate my experiences. I think this post is going to be a little long.

When I was 9, my dad passed away. Till he was there everything was good. I am the youngest in my family and since my dad loved girls, I was doubly pampered and a little spoiled you can say. But after my dad's death everything changed in a short period of time.

When my dad was there we had maid in the house who used to the cleaning, dishes, laundry etc. My mom's task was to cook for us and take care of us. Suddenly it was not like this anymore. I came to know about relatives I did not even know existed. About cousins who were about my age but were proficient in household chores. Within a short period of time I was being compared to them and told how I lacked in the necessary skills. They became the standard to which I was constantly measured.

My mom who had not asked anything other than studying from me started becoming overbearing and asking me to make them my role models. She wanted me to be like those cousins who cooked and cleaned in the house and had hobbies like singing and embroidery. My hobbies are reading, watching movies, listening to music etc. I never was really interested in cooking and cleaning was boring to me. But I wanted to make my mom happy. So I started helping my mom out and so everything she asked of me.

It was never enough. She always would point to the things I did not do. Never really showed much appreciation to what I did do in the house. She used to always criticize me. I always felt that my mom did not like me at that time.

When I got married after college, I was not very proficient in cooking. I knew a couple of things, that's all. I came to U. S.

For the first 2-3 months my used to just say that she missed me and we used to have these kind of small tasks. After that all of a sudden she broke down. Not crying but started apologizing to me saying that she now realized how much work I actually did in the house. She said she was proud of me and that I should forgive her for not telling me that before. She wanted me to know how much she loved me and missed my companionship. She told me that I was not just her daughter, but had become her friend too.

When she said those things, I was surprised. I did not really know what to say to her. I mean when I thought she did not like me, she had done what she did because of her fear of society. She did not want the society to point any kind of finger at me or say any bad word against me. This was her way of protecting me.

We can always say that she could have conveyed that in many other ways. But for her, she did not see any other way. From her perspective, she did not have any other way.

Brain is the one organ in our body which cannot be transplanted from one person to another. Cause it learns about you. Why a person does what he does is because of what he knows and his experiences.

Here Dev loves Sona to the moon and back. For him she is his life and a person usually goes to great lengths to preserve it, keep it happy. This is what Dev is trying to do.

Ethically and maybe morally what he is doing is wrong. But unfortunately, his upbringing and the current situation he is in is making him do all these things. He wants Sonakshi to have all the happiness in the world and he wants it at any cost.

But this is also not a situation where he can hide this for long. It will come out. He will hurt her. But hurting her and himself in the process is needed for him to confront his mother and brign her down from her pedestal. He needs a big push and this situation is going to give him that. It will let him to finally face not just his mom, but his family and also his past. Only then both Dev and Ishwari can come out of their bubbles and false images of each other and grow.

Eagerly looking forward to this track...

Edited by Shaavi - 8 years ago
idreamy thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Shaavi

I would like to relate a few of my experiences. I think this
post is going to be a little long.


</p>

When I was 9, my dad passed away. Till he was there everything
was good. I am the youngest in my family and since my dad loved girls, I was doubly
pampered and a little spoiled you can say. But after my dad's death everything changed
in a short period of time.



When my dad was there we had maid in the house who used to
the cleaning, dishes, laundry etc. My mom's task was to cook for us and take
care of us. Suddenly it was not like this anymore. I came to know about
relatives I did not even know existed. About cousins who were about my age but
were proficient in household chores. Within a short period of time I was being
compared to them and told how I lacked in the necessary skills. They became the
standard to which I was constantly measured.



My mom who had not asked anything other than studying from
me started becoming overbearing and asking me to make them my role models. She
wanted me to be like those cousins who cooked and cleaned in the house and had
hobbies like singing and embroidery. My hobbies are reading, watching movies,
listening to music etc. I never was really interested in cooking and cleaning
was boring to me. But I wanted to make my mom happy. So I started helping my
mom out and so everything she asked of me.



It was never enough. She always would point to the things I
did not do. Never really showed much appreciation to what I did do in the
house. She used to always criticize me. I always felt that my mom did not like
me at that time.


When I got married after college, I was not very proficient
in cooking. I knew a couple of things, that's all. I came to U. S.



For the first 2-3 months my used to just say that she missed
me and we used to have these kind of small tasks. After that all of a sudden
she broke down. Not crying but started apologizing to me saying that she now
realized how much work I actually did in the house. She said she was proud of
me and that I should forgive her for not telling me that before. She wanted me
to know how much she loved me and missed my companionship. She told me that I
was not just her daughter, but had become her friend too.


When she said those things, I was surprised. I did not
really know what to say to her. I mean when I thought she did not like me, she
had done what she did because of her fear of society. She did not want the
society to point any kind of finger at me or say any bad word against me. This
was her way of protecting me.



We can always say that she could have conveyed that in many
other ways. But for her, she did not see any other way. From her perspective,
she did not have any other way.


Brain is the one organ in our body which cannot be
transplanted from one person to another. Cause it learns about you. Why a
person does what he does is because of what he knows and his experiences.



Here Dev loves Sona to the moon and back. For him she is his
life and a person usually goes to great lengths to preserve it, keep it happy.
This is what Dev is trying to do.



Ethically and maybe morally what he is doing is wrong. But
unfortunately, his upbringing and the current situation he is in is making him do
all these things. He wants Sonakshi to have all the happiness in the world and
he wants it at any cost.



<p>But this is also not a situation where he can hide this for
long. It will come out. He will hurt her. But hurting her and himself in the
process is needed for him to confront his mother and brign her down from her
pedestal. He needs a big push and this situation is going to give him that. It
will let him to finally face not just his mom, but his family and also his
past. Only then both Dev and Ishwari can come out of their bubbles and false
images of each other and grow.

Eagerly looking forward to this track...




In my opinion, Dev is proceeding with this unethical procedure mainly to keep this mother happy; not for Sona. If he loves Sona as equally as he loves his mother, then he can certainly take Sona into his confidence. She as a doctor will certainly understand her medical condition and together the 2 of them can seek the required medical treatment. Not telling the truth to Sona will hurt her more than finding the truth now, just a couple days of thinking she is pregnant.
Edited by idreamy - 8 years ago
gemini54 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
Thanks everyone for replying . All I can say is Love is never hurtful and what Dev is doing is not only Morally and Ethically wrong but is also hurtful
Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
I will just say something quickly before I run. If Dev only loved Sonakshi, he'd tell her the truth, ask her how she'd like to proceed i.e. whether she'd like to try fertility treatment, consider adoption or may be will opt for no children if she can't have any on her own naturally and whatever she decides, he will stand firm by her since children are not a do or die situation for him considering he married her knowing the truth.

Loving someone means respecting their choices and decisions. Not deceiving them going behind their back and taking decisions on their own behalf assuming that's what they want.

A lot of women won't mind having children naturally but may not want to go through fertility treatment specially knowing the side effects and/or adoption. They should have the right to decide what is right for them. If their husband married them knowing that they can't have children naturally, it is fair to assume that the wives are the priority, not the children.


It's not wrong to love someone, but when a lover abducts a woman in the name of love, that is a crime. He did it because he loved her is not an excuse.

It's not wrong to have marital relationship with one's wife, but when a husband rapes his wife that is a crime. He did it because he loves her and she is his wife is not an excuse.

It's not wrong to want/have children, but trying to do medical procedure on someone's body without their knowledge or consent is wrong. He did what she wanted and because he loves her is not an excuse.

In all the above example, the only thing missing is CONSENT.

A woman's consent matters. She has right to her body, her health and her life, marriage or no marriage. She is not a property to play with. She is a human being.

Here I'd like to give an example.

My husband is one of those men who don't care whether he has children or not. I am enough for him. That is not to say that he won't love his children. But only that who is not born yet, is not his priority.

I want children so he is willing to have them. He told me that whether we have children or not, he is happy with me and that's all that matters.

When we have children, we will be happy. But if for some reason, we can't, we still will be happy because we have each other. Because happiness comes from within. If you are happy in your life, a child won't change that beyond enhancing it. If you are sad in your life, a child can't fix it.


Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago
gmgi thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#7
Beautiful post Sabitha 👏 and as usual a very different and positive perspective @shaavi 👏
Although they could have handled it a bit more sensitively and sensibly so as not to offend the viewers I agree that this road Dev is taking will actually change the equation between all the three and even the whole family. And this road will make him confront everything that he is trying to avoid at all costs. Ishwari will have to either eat her own words that she does not believe in breaking the relations or will be forced to act on it. Either way the change is coming.

preethik thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8
Hi nice post gemini! True dev is treading on a road leading nowhere!

Shaavi I alway love to read your perspectives & most times it really makes me rethink my thoughts on the track! Thanks.

As I have said elsewhere dev is staying true to his character. He believes in getting what he thinks is essential for the happiness of his family by hook or crook. Till now it was only for his mom or sisters.

Now sona is in the mix. When he did it for the other members nobody questioned his methods as long as it did not hurt any of them. The only time I remember ish questioning his methods was in the case of Neha's former fiance & ranvir. Every other time it was never questioned. So he continues on the same path.

But this time the matter is too grave & it involves sona. It is going to blow up big time & all three main players are going to come out of their bubbles. I am really waiting fo it but the cvs are taking the really long route to get which is ofcourse testing our patience!
timbarucha83 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Hi
Nice posts. and various replies I cannot stop myself to from making the post. After yesterday's episode the next track is going to be more painful for us that is going to sure. Dev is now in complete mess. You know Dev is doing this not to please Ishu. but he is doing this because of fear.
As Ishu has a fear that he may loose dev. (this fear is the one of the aspect of her personalty) which she openly accept . In the same way Dev is having a fear to loose sona. This fear is making him do the things which is going to make sure at least for some time he is definitely going to be away from her. Some were deep down he knows his mother true face but the son inside him do not want to see this or tying to avoid. you know what for sona this child is also imp. because with this child first
its her's and dev's child and second with this child she feels ever ting thing will be normal. This news has given her hope that now ishu can accept her as daughter.That is the reason as dr. her brain knows that she should do the test first but the Ishu's changed behavior forced her to ignore that point because some where deep down she is also having the same fear of losing dev. She knows that dev loves her but when it comes to his family he is forced to make the decision which he don't want to make. they both are havig this fear because their marrige is not the outcome of dev and son's efforts. but it is the outcome of ishu's manipulation and Asha's wisdom. so they both are not having a trust on each other. dev is not having the trust that after knowing her own medical condition soan will be with him. he imaged that she will leave him as she can not fulfill his and most imp. his families wish. and same kind of fear is in sona's mind. If we consider that sona is a Dr. ten she should not get panicked after hearing the complication part. as a dr. she knows this. but she also afraid that if something happen to this child this will affect the her and ishu's relation which will have impact on her and dev's relation.I am not saying thet she does not love this child but this fear is also there.

This track is going to tell us for sona dev and her love and relation is more imp or ishu and dev's family's expectation from her. In long term if she want to be with dev then she required to face her worst fear that Ishu has not accepted her and her current behavior is completely selfish but if she decide to fight for her relationship with dev then this will be a new start. For dev also he required to face same fear of losing sona if he fights back for love and for sona there actual journey will be get started. For Ishu I think I required to make a separate post but if you really want to know my thoughts for Ishu you can refer my previous post. That is "open letter to Ishawari "

Thanks for reading my long post.
YASHO1997 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Wow...u really do make a lot of sense!
I was thinking the same. This script has a lot of depth if looked into carefully. As we saw both dev and sona know about ishwari's behavior. And both are trying in their way to hold on to it. They are desperate. Sona knows that probably dev will never speak back to his mother like vickey does and as her efforts show she won't be able to do it on her own. On Dec's part he too probably knows this weakness deep down and dreads having to confront his mother. So both at this time have all their hopes attached to this non-existant baby. That's why she freaks out at the thought of even minor complications (not that she doesn't love the child in fact she has already become a mother), and dev knowing that she can't conceive but seeing his dream in front of his eyes doesn't have the heart to break it probably wants something good to come out of it without realising how absolute wrong it is. Yes it is ethically, morally wrong but at this point he is not thinking. But just acting. Both will have to realise where they stand without this baby. When the news breaks out that will be their wake up call. I have a feeling dev and sona won't have each other for a while but at this time dev will also realise his mother's true self and fight out. Obvious too see what he wanted to protect was a farce. And then the pain would bind them together. After this there will be no going back.
I don't even know what I said because the infertility track on going beyond our wildest imaginations and a very complicated plot. Only thing considering that from last Friday's episode only one day has gone withing one two days the news will be out. Because otherwise they would have just show days passing.
So fingers crossed!

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