Not sure how many of you have read this book. It's an amazing read about couple relationship and then also talks about using the same concept for all relationships. I will paste a small summary here:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls "love languages":
receiving gifts,
quality time,
words of affirmation,
acts of service (devotion),
and physical touch.[2]
Chapman's book claims that the list of five love languages is exhaustive.[3] [4] According to this theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. The official website for the book provides a test for users to try and determine their love languages.
Let's look at the events in devakshi's lives in the last few days.
Light-heartedly, Sonakshi shared her feelings with Dev about being treated as an outsider a few days ago. She referred to the Dixit and Bose orientation courses. Her husband didn't quite give her the response she had hoped for. Quite the opposite. He did what Sona was asking for but only when Neha asked for that to be done. It's hard to tell if Sona felt bad (if and) when Neha was rubbing that in, however, Sona then went overboard and reminded Neha one more time that Neha possibly has a soft corner for Ranvir and his family... Neha couldn't deal with this intrusion to the virtual wall she is building around her and Sona was also confusing love with sympathy that Neha has with all poor people.
However, Dev did further damage by calling a lawyer and not mentioning it to Sona. The viewer in me can't make up my mind as to why should Dev discuss everything with his wife. They are still newly wedded, get very little time for each other (Sona herself said so on the coffee date) and more importantly they agreed to disagree on the Ranvir/Neha topic. Off she goes to her parents'. You know what struck me most... He walks in the house, doesn't see Sona at the dining table and asks himself where she is... See this is where I think us couples need to learn a lesson from Dev & Sona. Dev didn't check on his wife (after rudely walking out on her in the morning) all day... This means they go 8-10 hours without even texting each other. They are both making promises only to be broken. Clearly, they mati-gelo-ed the whole day without each other... or did they not? Has Dev now learnt to block off any disagreements with his lover-wife and be able to concentrate at work? Something he couldn't do 2 weeks ago?
Walking on Delhi streets at 2 AM, calling your husband a puppy and speaking about colour schemes & sleeping positions seemed dim-witted. Until I thought about Sona's love language. She tried calling out her husband a few days ago and he didn't listen. She had to go full out to show her anger and more importantly hurt. It was a subtle act of fury. Modern day kop-bhavan.
To me, she still didn't speak enough... She never has and I think Dev isn't ready to deal with more. He was so anxious when he asked her why wouldn't she want to go back home.
Devakshi might seem to be back in balance; however, I don't think they are. Devakshi's relationship still remains where it was before breakup. Like I said the other day. He remains at the vortex of this storm and he still hasn't explained to her why he can't let her into the storm. What he told her the day after confession had a very deep rooted lifelong meaning which is still lost on Sona - He doesn't want to share her with anyone... not even with his problems. He thinks he can solve his problems with money. But the damage that does to his soul, only Sona's love can fix. I don't think Sona still realises that Dev doesn't want her to help him solve his problems. He needs her after that. Like he needed her after Neha's bidaai. She wants to talk to him about his problems and he wants to talk to her about how he is affected by those problems. There is a very slight difference
I don't think Sona is realising that Dev's language of love is quality time and physical touch. He just craves for her to be around him. Be there for him.
Neither is Dev realising that Sona is speaking to him in her language of love - words of affirmation and acts of service (devotion)
I see a lot of unresolved open issues in this relationship. It pains my heart because they are both so good with each other... Only if they spoke their partner's language not their own.
Health and Fitness
