Part One:
Main Taan Jiyan Na Maraan
I can neither live nor die
Haay Ve Dass Main Ki Karan
Please tell me what should I do
Dil Jude Bina Hi Tut Gaye
My heart broke before it could mend itself
Hath Mile Bina Hi Chhut Gaye
Our hands separated even before they could meet
Ki Likhe Nae Lekh Kismat Ne
What has been written in my destiny
Baar Baar Ron Ankhiyan Tainu Jo Na Vekh Sakiyan
My eyes cry continuously without a glimpse of you
Khoh Leya Hai Yaar Kudarat Ne
Nature has stolen you from me
Kattan Main Kiven Din Teri Saun Tere Bin
How do I pass my days and nights without you?
Main Taan Jiyan Na Maraan
I can neither live nor die
Chhan Se Jo Toote Koi Sapna
If a dream breaks in a single moment
Jag Soona Soona Laage
The world seems lonely
Koi Rahe Na Jab Apna
When no loved one remains
Jag Soona Soona Laage
The world seems lonely
Yeh Kyun Hota Hai
Why does this happen?
Jab Yeh Dil Rota Hai
When this heart cries out
Royen Sisak Sisak Ke Hawaayein
Even the wind seems as if it is crying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VP-tau_XfU
She ran straight up the stairs into her room and slid to the floor against the wall. Tears flew down her cheeks as she recalled each word, "As of today our relationship is no more. We're no longer husband and wife. Standing here, I've come to the conclusion that marrying you was the biggest mistake I've made in life." She recalled the moment he pulled his hand away from hers steps away from the ashram door. She could still hear the excitement in her nani's voice as she exclaimed that she was carrying a new life within her womb, a physical manifestation of the love that she shared with Viplav. She looked down at his picture as her tears began to fall harder. She could vividly picture dancing in his arms as they swayed to the music together. The depth he had in his eyes as he stared into her own was one that she would remember forever. His smile that was so bright whenever he would look her way. These were all signs of true love, weren't they? She had never known love before meeting Viplav. It couldn't vanish that quickly for anyone, could it? The conflicting emotions she felt of happiness and betrayal created a whirlwind of thoughts in her mind.
Sighing deeply, she took out a piece of paper and a pen and began composing a letter to her husband. "Viplav, I never fathomed that being away from you one day I'd write you a letter. I also didn't ever think after first meeting you that a day would come that I wouldn't be able to bare the thought of not being with you for even a moment. Colours have a tendency to fade with time, but some colours remain vibrant just like the colour of your love. Your love that became a mainstay for me in every obstacle that came my way. You brought sweetness into my life. You gave me every kind of bliss you possibly could, but today you've given my life another meaning. You've given me the joy of becoming a mother. Our relationship is changing, Viplav. Let's begin our lives afresh with a new sense of responsibilities as mother and father. I desire to be near you again my love. You'll make me a part of your life again, won't you? I love you." She signed off the letter as his Dhani. She had made up her mind that she'd deliver this letter to Viplav no matter what. She would go back to the very house that had abandoned her and her relationships for the sake of her child and her husband.
She changed into a green saree and adorned herself with bangles, gold earrings, and a green bindi. She combed out her hair and filled her part with vermilion once again. She smiled at her reflection in her mirror and became bashful thinking of Viplav's reply to her letter. Her cheeks became rosy as she submerged herself even more into her own fantasies. With a smile on her face and her eyes twinkling in anticipation, she clenched the piece of paper in her hand and set out to her destination, Ayodhya Niwas. Upon reaching her destination, she discovered that the palatial mansion was being bedecked by several workers in the supposition of a grand event. She wouldn't allow any infliction of negativity bring her mood down today. She peered all around for a glimpse of her husband, but he was nowhere to be seen. She continued screening herself from her mother-in-law and grandfather-in-law in the hopes of reaching Viplav. An elderly man approached her asking for her help in regards to an address. She momentarily turned away from the gate to show him the way when Viplav drove in through the gate and parked his jeep. She came running towards the gate only to come to the realization that he had already entered inside the mansion. Seeing that she wouldn't be able to meet him, she asked one of the young workers of the house for his help. She made him promise that he would deliver her letter to Viplav and not anyone else. Sending the young boy inside she made her way back to the ashram.
The young boy made his way to Ramdeen Kaka, the faithful butler of the house. He instructed him that the letter was very special and only meant for Viplav Baba. Ramdeen Kaka was making his way to Viplav Baba's room when the Maha Pundit stopped him in tracks. He queried about the piece of paper folded in his hand. Ramadan Kaka replied, "This is for Viplav Baba. I've been asked to deliver this to his hand." Dashrat sweetly replied that he would take the letter himself to his baba and that he need not worry. He would take responsibility of the paper while Ramdeen Kaka tended to other work that urgently needed his attention. Meekly Ramdeen Kaka handed the letter over to the Maha Pundit and headed towards the kitchen. Dashrat unfolded the paper and began to read. His eyes bulged as he neared the end of the letter and he began to cough vehemently. Kanak had walked out of her room and had turned in the direction of the stairs when she heard her father-in-law coughing and gasping for air. She came running and yelled out to one of the housekeepers to bring a glass of water immediately! She asked Dashrat what was wrong and what was in his hands. Silently he held out the piece of paper for Kanak to take into her clasp. Kanak read each line cursing under her breath until she came to the last line. "This is what I had been afraid of all along!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She looked at her father-in-law with doom on her face. How would they ever succeed in breaking their bond with a child in the picture? "Babuji, do something! Viplav will never renounce that witch once he's informed of his unborn child's existence. Dear Lord!" she wailed out. She held her chest thinking of the possible outcome of such a letter. Dashrat paced back and forth thinking of the next step to his plan when he suddenly stopped and called out to Ramdeen Kaka. Kanak looked up to her father-in-law inquisitively as she saw an evil grimace form around the corners of his mouth. Ramdeen Kaka came running as fast as he could to his master awaiting for him to speak. "Ramdeen Kaka, could you please find me the young boy that came to you with this letter? I would like to speak to him." The housekeeper nodded his head and rushed out in search of the young boy. Moments later, Ramdeen Kaka returned to the Maha Pundit with the little boy in tow. Dashrat thanked the housekeeper for his help and asked that the three be left alone. He called out to the little boy and stroked his hair, "What's your name, little fella?" "Munna" he replied. "If I were to ask you for a favor, would you be able to help me out?" Dashrat asked in a sugar sweet tone. Munna nodded his head eagerly. Dashrat took a few steps and said, "Could you let your Dhani Didi know that her letter reached Viplav Baba safely. He wasn't too happy reading the letter though. In fact, he tore it to pieces and threw it away." He held the torn pieces of paper in his open palm for Munna to see. He continued, "Could you also show her these scraps? I wouldn't want her to worry thinking that her letter hadn't reached my grandson. In fact, could you please tell her that you brought the letter to Viplav Baba, waited as he read what was written, and collected the scraps once the threw them away? Another thing my child, please don't ever mention our conversation to anyone." He blessed the young boy and handed him a hundred rupee note thanking him for his assistance. Kanak and Dashrat exchanged an evil grin as he sang, "Tore bina lagai na mora jiya." Kanak chuckled at her father-in-law's evil mind, shook her head, and saw to the preparations for the party.
Munna was ecstatic on seeing so much money and skipped his way over to the ashram. He knocked on the ashram door and waited for the door to be opened. Perhaps it was destined that Dhani be the one to open the door for Munna. The young boy reiterated what the Maha Pundit had asked of him and placed the torn letter in Dhani's hand. Dhani closed the door as a feeling of numbness had washed over her. Viplav had refused to acknowledge their child? No, that couldn't be. He wanted a child in their lives even more eagerly than she did. There had to have been some misunderstanding. But, why would he tear her letter to pieces? She had thought that he would have been proud of her seeing her first letter to him. Her ability to read and write was no less of a feat and an accomplishment that made him proud. Her vision began to cloud as her eyes brimmed with tears. Slowly one drop fell followed by a constant flow of others. Soon, Dhani sobbed until her body shook with each gasp. How could Viplav break her heart and trust this way? She yearned for his love now more than ever. Why was he hellbent on doing this to her? She felt weak and collapsed on the cot in her room. She didn't know when she had fallen into deep slumber as exhaustion had overtaken her being.
Dhulari had done her best into convincing her Bachua Ji to resolve the differences between him and her daughter. She explained that it wasn't uncommon for a husband and wife to disagree, but that it was foolish to break communication with one another. She also reminded him of his responsibilities toward her daughter who was now his wife. Viplav was obdurate in that Dhani had shamed his family and had brought him to a state of anguish. No matter what anyone said to him be it his mother-in-law or his grandmother, he wasn't willing to overlook Dhani's behaviour towards his grandfather. Not at any cost.
Dhani had invested all of her faith in her Lord for a solution to her deep-rooted fears. She visited the temple without fail every single day with one wish; that she be reunited with her love. She had just finished showering one fine morning and was towel drying her hair. She was in a rush to get to the temple before noon so that she could spend a few hours there in solitude. She finished dressing in a pink saree and applied vermillion to her part. She rested her veil on her head and walked towards the temple in the bright sun. She could feel sweat dripping from her forehead as she wiped each bead of perspirant with the corner of her saree. She began to regret not bringing a bottle of water with her for her journey. She thought of splashing some water on her face as she reached the ghat. She made her way down the steps towards the Ganges and bent down to clasp some water with her hands. Feeling the cool water on her face in the scorching heat put her at ease. Feeling her baby and smiling, she walked up the steps towards the temple.
Viplav was in his jeep driving towards the temple. He had promised his grandmother he would be her chauffeur for the day. Every inch of his being missed Dhani, but her mistake was too grave for it to be forgiven. How could she misbehave with his grandfather in such an insulting manner? Did she not have any sense to who his grandfather was to him? Aside from their relation, he was the Maha Pundit of Benares and commanded respect wherever he went. He was the prince of Benares solely because he was the Maha Pundit's grandson. Viplav parked his jeep and ran up the steps of the temple towards his grandmother. He could see his grandmother standing inside the temple with her hands folded together in front of her in deep concentration. He smiled at the site in front of him. His grandmother was his reservoir of tranquility. Nothing brought him more serenity than his grandmother's smile and warm touch. He helped his grandmother down the stairs hand-in-hand one step a time with the utmost care. He kissed his dadi's hand and asked her to wait for him as he went to get his jeep. Dhani had come up from the steps to come across Viplav who was coursing towards his car. Both halted in their spots upon facing one another after two weeks. Dhani smiled seeing her beloved's handsome face. Love oozed out of every pore in her body in the direction of her husband. She longed to bring him into her arms and caress his face. Viplav's entire body froze on seeing her in front of him. Their last conversation played in his mind and he felt his anger boiling from within. He clenched his fists to maintain his composure in a crowd full of people. He didn't return her smile and looked away. Dhani's smile faltered seeing him turn away from her. He walked past by her and she tried to stop him. She pulled onto his arm and pleaded for him to stop. "Viplav, please listen to me!" she urged. Viplav pulled out of her grasp and continued walking towards his jeep. Dhani ran behind him trying to get him to listen to her. "Viplav! Viplav!" she called out to him. He got into his jeep and started his engine. She ran towards his side of the car panting asking him to give her one chance to speak to him. He glared at her with fury etched all over his face and moved her away from his jeep with one arm and drove off. She ran after him screaming for him to stop. "Please Viplav! I have something to tell you. It's important, Viplav! Please stop! Dadi, please tell him to stop!" Viplav's grandmother implored him to stop and listen to his wife. Viplav whizzed off in his jeep not caring for anyone. Dhani ran as fast as she could behind his jeep and eventually crumpled to the floor. Dadi lamented as she watched how coldly her grandson had treated that angel of a girl. "This wasn't how I raised you!" she exclaimed through tears to Viplav. She refused to speak to him the rest of the way home as she could no longer comprehend him or his state of mind.
Dhani sat in the same spot for hours in utter shock. She had become immune to her surroundings. She could feel her chest constrict, her breaths had become shallow, there were goosebumps all over her arms, and she had an ice cold sensation in the middle of her gut. Her gaze had been transfixed the entire time as a million thoughts ran through her head. Her brain had stopped functioning as she attempted to absorb Viplav's rejection of her and their child. If their alliance had been a mistake, was their child a mistake too? Inquisitions concerning her unborn child's identity gnawed at her as she became increasingly apprehensive. In the darkness of the night, it had finally loomed on Dhani that her child's father had refused to give it his name. A visual array of all of Viplav's promises played in her mind as she came to a deduction - Viplav's confession and proposal to her on one knee, his declaration of love to all of Benares and his vow to protect her until his last breath, the handprint inside the ashram, the time she had tried to cut her hair, all of the vows they had made to one another as they became husband and wife in the presence of Mother Earth. They were all lies. She cried out bitterly recalling each memory she had spent with Viplav over the past year. She had always been right about him - he was a rakshas! She was a fool to have given into his spurious semblance of love.
Dhulari had become frantic in her daughter's absence. Hours had passed and she hadn't returned from the temple. She wasn't taking any of her calls either. She would have set out hours ago in search of her daughter, but Indrani had held her back with the request that Dhani be given some space to sort out her afflictions. She saw her daughter sitting on the ground in front of the steps to the temple completely perplexed in her own world. She placed her hand over her daughter's shoulder and waited for Dhani to respond. Dhulari observed her tear-stricken face as she looked up and embraced her daughter in her arms in her disquietude. "Why are you crying, Dhani? What's wrong, my precious?" She looked at her daughter in alarm and wiped her tears. Dhani clung to her mother again as her body convulsed with each sob. "What happened?" she implored again. Dhani could barely articulate her words through her sobs. "Speak, Dhani!" Dhulari urged as her daughter clutched her again in tears. She tried to calm her daughter down so that she could speak and voice her pain. She smoothed her hair and caressed her face giving her the courage she yearned in her neediest hour. "Please tell me, Mayi? That whatever I saw was a lie. Viplav wouldn't do that to me, right Mayi? He wouldn't, right?" Dhani stammered in front of her mother. "He wouldn't do this to me? He wouldn't deceive me? Tell me, Mayi! Tell me!" Dhulari looked at her daughter bewildered by her agony. "It's all a lie, isn't it? Why aren't you saying anything, Mayi!" she beseeched her one true companion in life. "You need to tell me what happened, my baby?" Dhani fell to the ground in defeat as Dhulari tried to hold on to her. "Dhani!" she yelped. She watched her daughter lifeless on the ground shedding a fresh batch of tears. She sat on the ground in front of Dhani and wiped her tears again. "What happened, Dhani? Did you see Viplav? Were you able to meet him? If you have, then please tell me!" "I can't believe that Viplav..." Dhani cried out. Vipav what?" Dhulari questioned in sheer earnestness. "Viplav refused to meet me." she whispered to her mother in despair. Her words hit Dhulari like a ton of bricks. "Before leaving me at the ashram, he had said that our marriage was a mistake!" she howled resentfully. Dhulari stared wide-eyed at Dhani devastated by what she was revealing to her. "Why would he do this to me?" Dhani asked staring into her mother's eyes seeking assurance and comfort. Dhulari stood up and put both hands on her daughter's shoulders, "No, my baby. You must be mistaken. Bachua Ji isn't like that. He, he...he would never do that to you!" "I've seen his disapproval of me with my own eyes. Your Bachua Ji has neglected me as unworthy filth." "Dhani, I'll speak to him. Don't worry, my child. Let's go!" Dhulari said as she pulled Dhani up to her feet. "Let's go, Dhani! We're going to go speak to him!" she pulled Dhani's arm towards the road leading to Ayodhya Nivaas. Dhani stopped her mother and said, "No, Mayi. We won't go. Our relationship as husband and wife ended today. All relations with him ended today. Nothing's left to salvage." "No Dhani, don't say that! I'm telling you I'll speak to him!" Dhulari tried comfortng her again. Dhani held her mother's hands and looked into her eyes, "Viplav is no longer mine." She shook her head waiting for her mother to comprehend and accept what she was saying. Dhulari held her daughter's face and said, "Look at me, my little one. Don't make hasty decisions that'll affect you and your child for the rest of your life. This isn't about you anymore. It's also about your child, my darling. I promise you I'll speak to him, Dhani!". "What will you say, Mayi?" Dhani cried out. Her face was all red and her eyes brimmed with tears, "That man doesn't even love me! And this child won't be my compulsion, he or she will be my strength. I won't ever forgive Viplav for taking advantage of me. He said our marriage was a mistake. Let him rectify his make. I'll never turn back and look at him or his household again. There's nothing left between us..nothing...nothing at all! My child wont be my weakness! My child won't!" Dhulari looked at her in grief crushed by all that she was desolately saying. Mother and daughter enveloped one another in a tight embrace and cried uncontrollably at their destiny.
Indrani stood silent for minutes as she came to terms with everything that had transpired between Viplav and Dhani that day. Had she made a huge blunder in reading Viplav's character? She had been the first to support Viplav and Dhani's alliance. She had witnessed with her own eyes how deep Viplav's love had been for Dhani. Was it all just an illusion? She paced back and forth anxious by the misery her angel was in that night. There was pin-drop silence in the ashram. Not one person dared to speak over Dhani's whimpers. Rajlaxmi held Dhani's hand as she laid her head on Suvarna's shoulder. Rajlaxmi and Suvarna glanced at one another helplessly seeing the inert state their best friend had been in since she had returned that night. Dhulari sat on the ground with her head on her knees unable to concede what had ensued in a matter of a few hours. Indrani made her resolve and stood tall with her back straight and shoulders squared. She picked up the phone and dialed a number. She waited with bated breath before saying, "I'm ready. At the price you've offered. I only ask that you be silent for the next week. I want this transaction to be done as discreetly as possibly. I'll sign as soon as you bring me the paperwork. Thank you." She hung up the phone and stared out into space momentarily. All of the women of the ashram looked up at her puzzled waiting for her to speak. "Pack only your necessities. We'll be leaving tomorrow night." Indrani looked around at each member briefly before she swiftly made her way to her room. Dhani had zoned out to the conversation taking place in front of her. All of the other women had questions but knew Indrani would divulge what was in her mind when the time would be right. Suvarna and Rajlaxmi took Dhani up to her room so that she could get some rest. Suvarna laid Dhani's head in her lap and stroked her hair as she fell asleep. Both women had an even deeper bond now as both had lost the colour of love in their lives yet again. Rajlaxmi sat in front of Dhani with tears in her eyes at her comatose-like condition. Both women waited for the night to pass and for dawn to bring a new beginning in their lives.
Viplav had become increasingly restless day and night. The slap played over and over again in his mind. He had committed a grave sin in raising his hand on the love of his life. He wiped his face in disgust thinking of how he had assaulted his wife. Why couldn't he control his anger? Granted her behaviour towards his grandfather had been despicable, but had it warranted such a blow? He thought of everything he had said to her in that moment. How could he have called their marriage a mistake? How could he have stooped so low? He had done everything in his power to win her love, her faith, and her assurance. He had pursued her endlessly until she had finally relented and given her consent to their marriage. He punched the wall above his bed recognizing all of his blunders. She had tried to communicate with him several times. She would call umpteen times a day. That day at the temple she had tried her hardest to reach out to him, but what had he done in return? Since that day nearly three weeks ago, she hadn't called him nor had Kaki. No one from the ashram had tried meeting him either. His heart began to race as a feeling of uneasiness began to arise within him. He knew he had been a jerk and the guilt had begun to overwhelm him. He grabbed his keys and ran down the stairs out to where his jeep was parked. He started his engine deep in thought. He rehearsed his apology to Dhani in different ways the entire duration of his drive. He knew by now she must have been extremely annoyed with his antics and would most likely give him the silent treatment. He smiled thinking to himself how he'd make it up to her. "Viplav!" he could her say in exasperation until she would finally break into a smile shaking her head. His heart warmed at his vivid imagination of his loving wife. He parked his car outside the ashram and ran his hand through his hair. He took a good look at himself in his side mirror and fixed his black collared shirt over his dark blue distressed jeans and nude suede lace-ups. He took off his aviators and ran up the steps of the ashram to knock on the door. He knocked and waited for a few minutes, but no one had come to the door. He knocked again this time noticing that the door had slightly been left open. He was stumped that the door had been left open. The ladies usually left the door locked for their own safety and protection. He peered into the ashram as he opened the door further and stepped inside. He saw a few men at work making blueprints and speaking of demolition of certain walls. Who were these men and where were the ladies? Where was his wife?! He hurried over to one of the men and asked, "Bhaiyya, who are you? Where are the widows of this ashram?" The man gave him a look over and bent his head back down toward the blueprints in front of him. "I'm asking you something." Viplav spoke out again baffled by his ignorance. "You're not blind, are you? We're working on our plans for construction here." The man sneered in frustration. Viplav's eyes frantically searched for Dhani, Kaki, and Ma Ji. "What happened to the women here?" he queried in panic. "How would I know? I'm not anyone's personal assistant to know of their whereabouts!" yelled the man. Viplav's arms and legs were quivering in fear of what his mind was acknowledging but his heart wasn't ready to accept. Another worker had seen the agitation on his colleague's face by Viplav's questions and approached the two men. "Sir, the ashram has been sold to a builder. We're here to survey the property so that we can create the blueprints for an apartment building in its place. The residents vacated this property nearly three weeks ago. We have no idea where they went." the second man told him. Viplav stood motionless as he came to terms with the information he had just been provided with. He ran outside and asked all of the neighbors if they knew where the ladies in white had gone. No one had seen the widows departing from the premises. They had been just as surprised by the sudden fleet of workers and construction. Viplav fell to his knees in horror as he came to the realization that Dhani had left him.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
