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I thought to bring up certain points in an analytical way since the forum's been lacking on analytical-episodic discussions which has forced me to retrieve back from my silent member shell.
The above bad quality screen shot is from EP 172. I tend to watch episodes when they are available on SET India channel for US and the most recent one is 171 thus the bad quality of the screenshot.
The Dixits that essentially matter in a way to create a lasting impact on Sona and Dev's relationship are two women of the household. Ishwari and Neha. Ishwari's sacrifice would be nothing with Neha's cooperation of her continued oppression that goes on till this day.
Neha chose Ranveer for love despite valuing money over love for majority of life because the only thing that had managed to provide her happiness, or at least temporary bliss has been her brother's money. Dev had allowed the unnecessary expenditure and so has Ishwari, to compensate for all the wishes and demands they had taken away from Neha. Neha's story and Neha's position in Dev's life is more important then Ishwari in so many ways because without her sacrifices and without her tantrums, Dev wouldn't get the nudges of reality checks that his mother is not a god. When Neha met Ranveer, for the first time she got attention towards the most minute details of her lives. Ranveer was someone who focus on neha's insecurities and told her that every person's flaws make them who they are. He allowed Neha to flourish and think for herself instead of complaining. he provided her ways of productively channeling her anger into something that could make her a woman of substance in her own eyes.
Ranveer didn't approach Neha for money or married her in hopes that one day she'll be ready to become a mother because of his love. Ranveer accepted Neha for herself and after observing that this woman, who values materialistic things in her life quite loudly isn't really that person she tells the world she is. He acknowledged her fears in silence and allowed her move on without reminding her that she needs to be a certain way. Ranveer admired her strength to go on and find happiness in things despite being rebuked by the most important person in her life. Her mother.
Radha-rani was quick to point out the facets of life in this situation. That woman has spent an equal amount of time in company of Dixits and she had seen them grown up and flourish an find themselves. She maybe greedy and cheap but she is a practical woman. She pointed out constantly to Ishwari that once the love fades or settles in, Neha would miss the opportunity to find happiness in smallest things that she is used to.
It is not a secret from anyone that Ishwari in all her years never learned to be a mother to her daughters. After Neha's bidaii, her younger daughters didn't come to her instead found solace with each other. When in trouble, they either go to Neha or somehow get the help of there brother or Sonakshi if circumstances allow. It has nothing to do with an uneducated and regressive background of Ishwari, but the fact that Ishwari never allowed any of her daughters to come closer to her in respect that she had allowed Dev to be by her side. Neha however still manage to make a way into Ishwari's inner circle and only because she was not treated as her mother's child at all. Her mother's old-school thoughts allowed her to further a dysfunctional relationship with her brother, often relying on her son as the man of the house instead of a child he was that her obsession and focus pushed her to turn Neha into a pawn to keep her son up on a pedestal.
It is not just Dev who worships Ishwari. Ishwari worships her son as well and she does so because she allows herself to think of her child as a flawless product of sacrifices, grit and hard-work. She believes in Dev but her believe in Dev upholding her family over his own has been chipping away slowly ever since the truth of Sonakshi's place in her son's life has come to her notice.
When Neha decided to get married, Ishwari supported her. Ishwari told everyone, including Dev that she understands Neha the best when she doesn't understand Neha at all. She pushed ahead on Neha's doubts and told her few chessy lines to get her to follow her heart. Fr the first time, Ishwari saw Neha to appear radiant and not complaining and in order to compensate for the wrong she had done to Neha, she decided to go ahead and push Neha in a marriage of love because it was the most obvious thing to do to make her the star in Neha's and Dev's eyes. -Just similarly how she got Sonakshi to say yes to Dev and taking credit of there love, pain and reuniting in her hands by being a star.
Ishwari wants to be perfect and for a while, everything was perfect. She became the perfect mother to all her children after she fixed Dev's alliance with Sona. Neha was seemingly happy in her eyes and of the world and Dev was grateful to her and bowing down just as properly to her as he had throughout his childhood.
Coincidentally, every period of peak has an expiry. The dysfunctional relationship of Dev, Ishwari and Neha got an outsider audience with Sonakshi walking into the house to nurture Ishwari's health back up. The preparation for Ishwari to be strong enough even when she fails began the day Sonakshi entered the house and reminded her that there is a distinctive difference between healthy and unhealthy. There is a distinctive difference between comfortable with toxicity because of control and uncomfortable with change that eventually settles in for the better.
Neha's arrival back to the Dixit house is the calm before the storm and before the reasons for Ishwari's dependence on Dev spills out completely for the world to see that these two are more then devoted mother-son duo. Ishwari had already been battling the insecurities of seeing her son as someone other then her son. Even the businessman Dev she encountered every now and then had the highest regard for his mother and would acknowledge her credit to his success.
Neha has become once again a pawn for Ishwari to get closer to her "son" with her return. If there is one thing that Dev Dixit has prioritized his whole life, it is family and it is especially Neha's wants and demands. Neha has always touched a raw nerve by reminding Dev that he has the privilage of being a son and a favorite of there mother which has pushed Dev to prove to Neha by providing every distraction possible that, that is not the case. He tried to listen and carter to his sister despite not ever being able to connect to her or observe her unhappiness. Neha's return with a pandora box of complaints is a reminder to both Ishwari and Dev that they have been unsuccessful in granting Neha her happiness by just adhering to all her demands. It is a reality check to both of them that they both are not the people they want to be. Dev is not the caregiver he's been thrust into the role of and Ishwari is not the perfect mother to anyone.
Iswari wants to be perfect. Ishwari longs to be normal but it's just too late. You can't treat a disease or illness or disorder without knowing what it really is. You need to know the causes, before the symptoms before you decide onto the diagnosis and treatment. Ishwari loves her daughter and she wants to understand her which is why she keeps crying and yelling that she understands Neha, except she knows she doesn't. Ishwari wants to fix the wrongs she's done for Neha but she can't fix it. She can't have her reconcile with her husband just as much she cannot make Neha understand why she chose Ranveer before which Sonakshi is able to see through. She cannot do so because Neha's doom and Neha's misery means that she can keep the son in Dev Dixit more alert and alive then the husband in Dev Dixit and for every two more minutes of seeing her son, Ishwari is going to keep sacrificing Neha. Somehow Neha sees through that and that is why she wants to be left alone because if she can't work this problem herself out, then her whole life has been nothing more then a sham in her own eyes. It reduces her back to the Neha she was assumed to be when she was made into a mother of her two younger sisters. The only person able to see through Neha makes her feel threatened to the only power Neha has over her family, thus the retaliating that Sonakshi doesn't want Neha t have her share in Dev's money because Sonakshi is connected more intimately to Dev and Ishwari as well rather then any other person.
Neha is the trigger to cause constant friction between Ishwari and Dev but since she's been a Dixit, her words and opinions have always drowned and compensated by the elders of the family [Ishwari and Dev] by fulfilling distractive demands of Neha.
- "Kya paate hain, kya khote hain, jab dillon ke faisle dimaag se hote hain."
- "Mera Dev jab tak aage nahi bare ga jab tak Neha nahi khush hoti."
When Sonakshi wanted to take a practical step of saying 'no' to Dev's proposal brought by Ishwari, her mother reminded her of the reasons why she chose the challenge of loving Dev Dixit and whole heartedly embraced it. When Neha decided to marry Ranveer, her mother told her that she may do so but when Neha wants to move away and allow the distance of everyday life to come in between her and Ranveer, her mother cannot find any way to reason with her. Sonakshi's life has been less drama-ridden not because of her choices, but because she has been able to find a balance between heart and mind where as Dixits have always given a preference of one over another.
Neha choices have always been clouded by heavy emotions and so has Dev's and in those situations, these two have never taken a decision of there own instead they only go as far as rebelling against what they think is there mother's decision. Ishwari had manipulated her children at crossroads of there life. First with Neha by depriving her of her own life and then by taking away Dev's reason of happiness and returning him that reason by terming it as a toy and providing it on her terms and now by sabotaging neha's future not because she is concerned about Neha's will and choices but because the disappearance of Neha's problems allows Dev to settle in married life.
I have concluded that the whole lot sounds extremely abrupt but bear with me a bit more.
There are two women in the montage beside Dev and a picture of Dev and Sonakshi walking but there are three women in Dev's life.
> Ishwari, the extremely selfless mother who went all lengths to ensure her son remains happy. Neha, the sister who sacrificed majority of her life by collecting the pieces broken in Dixits' life in the background while her brother found ways to replace the broken glasses in there life with new unbreakable glass AND Sonakshi, a refreshing view on the endless possibilities of happiness.
I think it's going to be interesting how much longer Ishwari would push herself to manipulate her family into breaking apart just to keep her son. She doesn't want them to break but she HAS TO! Ishwari is an easy character to hate but difficult to understand. She is using her own daughter against her better interests despite constantly wanting not to do so. She cannot wrap herself around accepting Sonakshi as her bahu even though she sees how much of a great individual Sonakshi is.
For Dev to find the colors of love on his own instead of being attracted to them by seeing the the impact of those colors in his life, Neha's role of unintended pawn by his mother needs to be removed. For him to understand the tags of manipulation, jealousy and insecurities that come with the territory of love, he needs to view his mother as a human being possible of flaws and he needs to see Sonakshi not just a wife and daughter but also as a daughter-in-law who is part of his household wholly instead of being a separate entity.
I feel as if I wrote too much without really making much sense. I apologize for that. I also wanted to touch on deeper aspects of Neha and Ishwari equation but maybe later. Please leave your views of agreement or disagreement.
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